A/N:

So. This is something absolutely random, but I like it. This is basically a diary of a girl who doesn't talk. Yeah. There's going to be no Johnny in first few chapters. And, it is going to be strange. Definitely.

And:

My grammar and stuff probably suck because I'm not American, or British, or Australian, or Canadian, or … anything. Please bear with me.

Anyways…

Read, and, perhaps, enjoy.

*in black ink*

I

wonder

why do I have to do this

I am confused

Damn.

Dear Diary *scratched out*

Dear *scratched out*

fuck *scratched out*

*in blue ink*

1st Sept

00:01 AM

Dear Diary

I am NAVY.

Hi.

I'm 19.

I have brown eyes

Brown and blue hair

I have a step-father

My mommy died

I go to a therapist

I don't talk.

2 Sept

04:07 PM

I went to my psychologist today

TODAY, TODAAAAY*scratched out*

with my step-father.

The p : [wants me to talk]

st-f : [*annoyed*

dunno what he wants]

The p:

is saying things

I don't listen to

AFTER THAT

my st-f

*annoyed*

[I think he doesn't like me

cause I don't talk]

~ he drove me HOME

I live in an APARTMENT.

It's

so

small

11:30 PM

My little toy bird Sadie talks to me again.

(hasn't talked in 1 month)

Sadie:

"Hey! You're writing, aren't you now, sweetie? No-no-non, ma chèrie, it's bad! Don't do that."

[Sadie – not French. Likes French though]

[doesn't want me to speak]

What do I think about this.

What.

I dunno.

I'm *scratched out*

so *scratched out*

*in black ink*

ALMOST MIDNIGHT

*in purple ink*

SADIE:

"My dear Navy, please listen to me. World is an unpleasant place to be. You know that. And you are alone now. That step-father of yours doesn't count, does he? My dear Navy, please understand – you don't belong here. And you should not ever try to fit here. Don't try to connect with anyone – do you understand what I mean? Listen, Navy, no one is worth your tears, or fury… No one deserves your attention. They don't deserve your words. NO ONE DESERVES YOUR WORDS! No one is worth opening your mouth and saying anything. They won't even understand you. Are you aware of that, Navy? ARE YOU? Listen. You made a right decision. Close your mouth. Close your door. Close your mind. Don't let them see you or hear your voice. Don't ever open your thoughts.

Just… Shut up."

10 YEARS AGO

(an hour after I stopped talking)

(an hour after mommy died)

I'm going to sleep *scratched out*

*in blue ink*

wait, one more thing

ME:

I want to feel something. I feel nothing, really. Wait… No. I don't want to feel love, I don't want to love anyone; I loved my mommy, now I love no one. I want to hate someone. I want to hate someone because that's what people do! I want to hate, but I don't have anyone, I don't have anyone to HATE, I don't know where to put the something which's burning inside me, that's why I'm dying silently.

*in black ink*

I'm *scratched out*

so *scratched out*

confused.

I

wonder

why do I have to do this.

A/N: Well that sucks! But I like it! Now, review or something will happen. Something not good.

Is Navy a name anyways? Tell me because I have no idea.

I think it sounds like a name. Whatever.

~me.