STOP! Read this important Authors Note please.

Hello Ladies, I'm back… kinda. Actually this is a chapter that I wrote for another author, Sxkitn, who is one of the author's I beta for. Now I know that this is a Twific, but that's where I've been hanging out lately… Anyways, this was a fun chapter to write but it won't make much sense to you unless you read the first six chapters of the story For the Klein's. For those of you who are interested, this short and easy to read story can be found at:

s/7499011

Warning: This is NOT an Edward friendly chapter, but it does contain many hilarious alternate versions of his name.

For the Klein's Epilogue- Emmett POV

I knew, from the moment she opened her door when I responded to her 'Roommate Wanted' ad in the school paper, that Isabella Swan would irrevocably alter my world. I was right.

My first thought was something along the lines of 'Hell to the yes! She's smokin! I will so hit that soon!', but then, as I got to know her I realized that there was more to her than an incredibly hot body. Her mind was amazing, and her sense of humor was unbelievable. As days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months we became very close friends, and I began to find myself spending more and more time at home, hoping to do nothing more than spend time with her.

My weekly sexcapades started to slowly taper off, mostly because I was starting to realize that I didn't want nameless, faceless sex anymore; I wanted Bella. I wanted to love her, to make love to her, and to hold her. I wanted it to be my arms that she slept in each and every night, and I wanted it to be her face I saw each morning when I opened my eyes.

But there was a problem; she didn't see me like that. To her, I was nothing more than the womanizing jock on campus, the party animal that brought another chick home after every party or night out. So, even though I had stopped bringing them home, I still pretended so she would never know just how pathetic I really was.

Everything changed for me on Halloween. That was the night she met Fuckward, err, I mean Edward. That douchebag walked into my home like he belonged there and tried to snatch my girl right out from under me. Like he and his Julliard-attending, piano-playing prissy ass could ever compete with the wonder that is me. The minute they walked out the door together, I knew I had to act fast or I would lose her for good. I was done being a pussy, so I called up my frat buddy and had him put me on the invite list, then I hurried to get my ass into a costume.

I thought that the whole 'Adam in the garden' look was working for me, and from the appreciative looks I was getting from all of the women attending tonight, they all thought so too. I walked my ass into that party like I owned the place, only to be stopped in my tracks by the scene in front of me.

She was sitting on his freakin' lap and he had his hands, not to mention his lips, all over her. I started to walk towards them but was stopped by Stacy Warren in her slut-of the week costume. It took me a few minutes to get her to release me, but when I finally escaped her clutches I had to go looking for Bella once again.

When I found them a few minutes later, the asshat had her practically saran-wrapped to him and was putting some serious moves on her. I stopped, shocked by the sensual way she was moving against his body, and wished that she would look at me just once the way she was looking at him. Their foreheads were pressed together and they were about to share what looked to be one hell of a kiss but there was simply no way I could let that happen. Before their lips could meet completely I rudely interrupted them and swept her into my own arms. I couldn't help it; I glared at that fucker like I could set him on fire. I wanted to send him a very clear message; she's mine, not yours, so back the fuck off.

That was, until she touched my chest.

You know all those stupid touchy-feely things you hear in those cheesy chick flicks? Yeah well, I felt all of that and more as her fingertips ran over my pecs. It was like all of the electricity in the city was concentrated in her hands. Every caress sent lightning bolts straight to my dick. My lower leaf-covered branch was standing at attention, ready to fill her with a little electricity of its own. She was talking, saying… something I wasn't capable of listening to as long as she continued to touch me. I was glad, at that moment, that breathing was an involuntary function.

She turned in my arms and began grinding her ass against my leaf-covered cock, but she was mouthing something to Doucheward that had him laughing. I could only assume that she was flirting with him and I wasn't having any of that. I wanted all of her attention, and as long as she was dancing with me, the least she could do is pretend that she was mine for a few minutes. I grabbed her hips and spun her around, lifting her up so that she had to look me in the eyes and told her that even though she may be his date for the party, she was my dance partner and that deserved some respect.

I slowly lowered her back down to the floor after I was sure she understood. What a mistake. Her almost non-existent skirt bunched up around her waist and lots of drunk fuckers were staring at her goods. So, being the gentleman I was raised to be, I pulled it down for her. I wasn't my fault that my hands weren't as gentlemanly as they should have been. No, they had other plans. They skimmed from the small of her back, down over the swell of her upper-ass and landed firmly on the ruffled panties covering her sublimely rounded cheeks. My fingers played with the silky fabric for a second before my mind caught up with their deviant behavior. I mumbled something about not having ever seen those particular panties before and she said something about how they made her outfit. I couldn't agree more, and I immediately thought about what other kinds of 'outfits' they would make as well… those panties and nothing else sounded like an awesome outfit to me.

Before I knew it the song we were dancing to came to an end. I wanted to keep holding her but I couldn't think of a good reason to, that is, until 'Hanging by a Moment' started playing. I thought about how perfect this song was just then and tightened my arms around her. Just as she started to relax into my arms once again, the Prince of Fucktardia swooped in and took her from me with an evil smirk. There wasn't anything I could do unless I was willing to come clean to her right then and there, and a hyped-up Halloween frat party was not the way I wanted to tell Bella that I was totally, head-over-balls in love with her, so I let her go.

I watched them together throughout the night, swatting skanks away from me the whole time. She looked like she was having a good time and they were hardly ever alone together. Either both Angela and Ben were with them or other frat brothers were. The only thing that had me worried was the number of drinks he kept handing to her all night. Bella was a tiny girl, and I knew how hard she would be feeling all that alcohol in the morning, not him, and I'd be damned if he was staying the night to 'take care of her'.

Stacy was back, trying to get me to agree to go upstairs, when I saw Peter the Pecker walk over to them and say something to Fuckward, then he picked up Bella and carried her to the dance floor. He set her down and pulled her close to him to dance. As if that wasn't bad enough, Pecker had the nerve to run his nose and tongue up and down her neck. I turned back to see what Prissyboy was gonna do about it, only to see that both he and Angela were watching them and laughing. They were fucking laughing- she was being mauled and all they could do was fucking laugh.

Well, I wasn't laughing, not one little bit.

I strode over to Bella, grabbed her upper arm just as he was telling her that he was going to pick her up on Monday, and pulled her away from him. I pushed her towards Angela, who had apparently chosen that moment to get involved, before turning back to deal with Peckerhead. I told him that he wasn't going to pick her up; not now, not ever. Words got a bit heated, but before they could get out of hand I wanted to get Bella out of there, and there was no way I was letting her leave with the Douche King or his merry band of douchettes.

I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder. I glared at each of those asshats, daring any of them to say anything, told Edwipe that I would take care of her since he couldn't even do it for one night, and walked out. She was telling me that she was going to yell at me in the morning about my caveman tendencies but all I cared about was that she wouldn't be with him in the morning, she would be with me.

The next couple of weeks went by in a haze of watching my girl walk out of the house on Edwanker's arm. That shit got old real fast, but she seemed to really like him and I couldn't stop her from dating him- no matter what I tried. I tried banishing him from the house but he kept coming back. I wouldn't forward his messages to her; she got them anyways, and then got mad at me for not giving them to her. I trash talked him all the time but she didn't want to listen to me. Short of telling her that I wanted her, I tried everything. I couldn't tell her though; I was too much of a pussy. What if I told her and she laughed at me? I knew I wouldn't have been able to handle that, not to mention that I would probably lose the friendship I had with Bella as well.

Nope, wasn't happening.

Then everything came to a head the weekend before Thanksgiving. The guys and I were supposed to get together for our weekly touch football game but not everybody showed so we decided to hit Sharky's for a few cold ones instead. Then Paul showed up and pretty soon we were competing over who could drink who under the table. I won, but only because Paul's old lady called and promised him all sorts of hell if he couldn't walk in their front door under his own power. After he left, Sam, Jared and I had a few more and I told them all about what was going on between Bella and Evilward. Before I knew it, they were helping through my own front door since I definitely couldn't get there on my own.

Once inside, I was confronted by my worst nightmare, literally. There, on my couch, was Bella and the Ass. They looked like they were in the middle of a serious discussion and I worried that they might be making things official between them. Once that happened, any chance at a shot with her was gone for me. So I did what any drunk man does best; I mauled her, insulted him, some not-so-nice words were exchanged, I kicked him out and then I sulked. Feeling like a douche myself, I tried to apologize to Bella for ruining her night; I might have even cried a little, who knows. I was more than a bit drunk.

Then, after the guys helped me to my room, Bella came in and gave me some aspirin and a bottle of Gatorade and left before I could apologize to her yet again. I laid there thinking about what the fucktard had said. He was right; I wasn't good enough for her. She did deserve more and I was finally ready to give it to her. I needed to come clean with her, tell her exactly how I felt about her, and finally make her mine.

I tried to get up but was stopped when my bedroom began to spin around me and I decided that I could make her mine after a little nap. I tried to get comfortable, but every-which way I moved, my clothes got in my way. I wasn't so drunk that I couldn't solve life's little problems- mostly the kind that did not require me to be standing, like the removal of my clothing. Yeah, I was ninja like that. Shit, still am.

I laid still, trying to get the school's drum line to stop playing in my head, and squeezed my eyes tight against the pain, right before blackness mercifully took over my body.

When I woke up, I could hear Bella talking to someone in the hallway. It sounded like she was on the phone since I could only hear one side of the conversation so I stopped moving around so I could hear what she was saying. From what I could hear, it sounded like she was telling someone about what had happened earlier between me and Edwiener and like she was trying to decide between two options. All of a sudden her voice sounded panicked as she told whoever she was on the phone with that she couldn't hear my snoring anymore. I shut my eyes as quick as I could just as she carefully edged my door open.

"Oh my fucking God, he's naked…" I heard her whisper right before she paused, listening to whoever was on the other end of the conversation, and then started to speak breathlessly once more. "Yeah… well, no… I mean his comforter is wrapped around his… fuck Ang, even his hip is perfect. He is just so perfect."

Perfect. She thought I was perfect.

That settled things in my mind, and I realized that it was a 'now or never' type of situation at that point. I opened my eyes and I remember that my breath caught in my throat at the look of undisguised longing she gave me. I watched her silently as her hungry gaze took in every inch of my naked body and I could almost feel her caressing my skin in every place that her eyes touched me. When her eyes finally made it back to my face, I watched her signature blush creep over her face and neck when she saw that I was awake.

"Fuck, he's awake. I'll call you later Ang," she said and snapped her phone shut before focusing on my face once more and asking quietly, "How you feeling, Em?"

I think I answered her but I couldn't be sure as words and thoughts were swirling through my brain faster than I could catch them, still stuck on the fact that she thought I was perfect. She was talking, asking me more questions that I must have answered, because she was turning to walk out the door. I needed to man-up and do it now before she walked away; before I lost my resolve. Nervously I blurted out, "Wait Bella, please. I need to talk to you."

I heard her quiet groan as I sat up, and she asked if we had to talk 'right now' without looking at me. I was afraid that she was going to walk out and I desperately told her that I wanted to talk to her right away. She started to balk and I thought I was going to lose my chance, until she pointed out that I was standing in front of her, quite literally, naked. I hurriedly reached into my top drawer and grabbed the first thing my hand came into contact with and tugged it on.

When she turned around, she immediately started laughing. Let me tell you, that wasn't what I was expecting at all. She asked me what I was wearing and when I looked down I saw that I had on the craptastic pant/underwear things my sister had spent a shit-ton of money on during her last stint at fashion week in Milan. Shit, this was not going the way I wanted it to. I quickly changed, throwing on a pair of my favorite Calvin Klein Boxer briefs. Again she commented about how 'not decent' they were, but I could see the way she eyed them… decent or not, she liked the way my Klein's looked on me. I waited for her to get comfortable on the other side of my bed before I joined her to start our discussion. We really did need to talk, but all I wanted to do when I saw her there was pull her into my arms, kiss her breathless and never let her go.

After a few hesitant starts and stops where she thought I was telling her that I didn't like Edward or want him around me, I finally told her that I wanted her to give me a chance before she decided on how she felt about Duke of Doucheville. I admitted that I hadn't been with anyone since I had left her to deal with Rosalie over breakfast that one time, that I was only pretending to hide from girls since then so that she didn't figure out that I was pathetic.

At first she didn't get what I was telling her. I had to actually point out that all this time I had been running around in my underwear to get her attention, and I could tell the second that things connected inside her head. I didn't waste a second, and asked her again if she would be willing to give me a chance to prove myself to her. When she agreed, I asked her if she would go on a date with me that very night and she agreed to that as well. Because I couldn't keep my hands off of her for another second, I wrapped her in my arms and gently kissed the top of her head.

That night I took her out to a nice romantic bistro for dinner and then for a carriage ride in the park. It was in that carriage, while we were snuggled together under a blanket, that I worked up the nerve to kiss her for the first time as something more than her best friend and roommate. Holy shit, that kiss was like liquid napalm sliding down my spine. It burned me up and made me hard as fuck. I wanted her more than I had ever wanted anyone in my life, but I kept reminding myself that she wasn't like all the other girls I had fucked and dumped. She was quite possibly 'The One' and there was no way I was fucking this up.

After the carriage ride, I dropped her off at home after we had decided that we would continue our evening date with a movie marathon. I dutifully headed to the local Redbox to get her requested movies and returned home. I yelled out for her when I opened the door and she asked if I had gotten the latest hunk-of-the-week drool-fest that she wanted. I casually glanced over my shoulder to tell her that I had indeed been triumphant in procuring it when I noticed that she was barely dressed and looked like sex on a fucking stick.

I dropped the movies and stopped talking, not physically able to string any words together to form a coherent sentence. I watched dumbly as she walked into the kitchen, her ass swaying back and forth like a hypnotist's watch. It wasn't until she turned the corner and I could no longer see her that I was able to breathe again, but the only thought running through my head went something like, 'me want hiney…', and I obediently followed my dick into the kitchen, only to be stopped dead in my tracks once more.

Her heart-shaped ass was hitched up in the air, wiggling as she moved things around in the fridge to reach the beer that I could have sworn was right up front on the top shelf last night. I was getting dizzy from the loss of blood flow to any part of my body other than my cock and groaned. "Fuck me," I half prayed-half pleaded under my breath. I was still dazed when she turned around and handed me two longnecks and went to reach for the popcorn we kept in the cupboard next to the sink.

My breath caught once more as I watched her lean forward, rise to the tips of her toes and stretch her arms above her head to grab at the box on the top shelf. It was just outside her reach, but that wasn't what had me concerned. It was the bare skin right above the line of her panties that was now exposed that had me losing my grip on reality, along with the beers in my hand. I felt them fall out of my grasp and heard them shatter on the floor, but my eyes never moved from the patch of promise that was peeking out at me.

She looked back over her shoulder and said… something. I wasn't paying attention until I heard her say my name when she asked for my help in reaching the popcorn box. I shook my head and stepped over the beer drenched broken glass and over to her and finally allowed myself to feel her heated skin.

"You're killin' me here Bell's." I told her as I ran my hands up under her shirt, stopping just short of her ribcage, before I slid them back to her waist and lifted her up just enough to feel her ass cheeks pressed against my hard-as-fuck dick. I bit back the moan in my throat as she reached up and grabbed the popcorn, thanking me for my help. If only she knew the thoughts running through my mind; all of them were dirty and all of them involved her and this counter. I had never needed anything as bad as I had needed to taste her right then, so I hungrily ran my tongue and my mouth down her neck to her shoulder and back up again, leaving kisses along the way. "I've had to fight to keep my hands off you all night, and then I come home to this. I don't know if I can keep stopping myself" I said as I pulled her earlobe into my mouth and nibbled on it.

When she said that she didn't want me to and grabbed me by the head, I just about lost my shit then and there. I growled out that she was more than a fuck to me before I wrapped her legs around my waist and walked us to the couch. I put her down, scared that I was going to fuck her on the spot if she didn't stop me and tried to tell her that she deserved so much more than a quick romp on the couch, but she stopped my rambling by yelling at me.

"Will you stop telling me what I deserve? I know I'm not just one of your fucks, Emmett, you have told me that over and over and over again during dinner. Please, just stop it." she yelled, but then her eyes caught mine, going dark with what could only be lust and her voice got all husky, sexy, and she said the words that got me to drop my defenses. "I'm not saying we're going to just jump right into having sex, but there's nothing wrong with a little touching now, is there?"

"You are so fucking sexy." I growled as I attacked her mouth. I kissed her and touched her and never wanted to stop. I was in heaven and she was my Manna. Before things got too far for me to stop, I gave her the option to watch the movie. "You're missing Ryan and his yummy abs." I whispered into her ear, kissing my way down her neck.

"Ungh… I would rather look at yours." she said as she asked why I was still wearing my shirt.

"Oh… God," I hissed as she ran her hands up under my shirt, tweaking my nipples with her fingertips then trailing her nails down my abs. I grabbed the hem of my shirt and literally ripped it off and threw it across the room, then picked her up and carried to my room, where I tossed her giggling onto my bed.

"Didn't we already have a talk about this caveman shit?" she asked me as I crawled over her.

"You like it." I said, and thrust my hips into hers. I could feel her heat through my jeans. Oh shit, I was a goner.

"That's beside the point." she gasped between kisses. The sounds she was making made me wish there weren't as many layers between our bodies. I could only imagine how she would feel wrapped around me, my cock buried to the balls in her wet pussy. My hands roamed her skin, traveling up underneath her shirt and found her tits.

"You're so soft." I said as I cupped one of her perfect tits in my hand while I rolled her other nipple between my fingers. The moans and whimpers she was making were almost enough to make me come right there, but add to that the sensation of my jean-covered cock grinding between her legs, and I was already on the edge of messing up my pants like a horny 15 year old.

She ran her hands up and down my naked back then grabbed my ass and pulled me harder into her warmth. "God baby, I'm not going to last long like this." I groaned, "I want to watch you come first, please baby."

"So close," she mumbled into my neck, her eyes squeezed shut. I couldn't have that; I needed to see her eyes when she came. I wanted to make sure that she knew it was me making her feel so good, not anyone else.

"No baby, open your eyes, I need to see you, open them Bella." I demanded as I pinched her nipples, the ones that were still regrettably covered by her shirt. I ground my cock into her harder, listening to her cries, drinking them up like water. She opened her eyes and the emotions I saw swirling in them pushed me right to the brink. I wanted her to fall first though, so with one final push and another pull of her nipples, I commanded her to come for me.

She did, and Oh My God, it was amazing.

Nothing has ever been as beautiful as she was in that moment, falling apart, because of me. She screamed my name and I was done. My balls tightened and then exploded and I came in my pants for the first time since I lost my virginity back high school. It made me wonder though, if sex was this good with Bella and we didn't actually have sex, would I live through the real thing with her? I wasn't too sure. I mean shit, I just blew my load like an AV nerd looking at a Playboy for the first time and she wasn't even naked. There was no penetration, and technically she never even touched my cock… though we would have to remedy that soon.

I sighed happily as I rolled off of her onto my back and pulled her tightly to my side. I listened as her breathing slowed and became rhythmical, which told me that she had fallen asleep. I ran my hand over her back and up into her hair before I placed a gentle kiss to the top of her head, where I whispered 3 little words into her hair, not brave enough to say them to her for real yet.

I took a minute to remove my jeans and went to the bathroom to clean up the now sticky mess in my underwear. I walked back into my room and, as stealthily as I could, I climbed back into bed and pulled my comforter up over us. I gathered her back into my arms and closed my eyes, relaxing into her and falling to sleep, very content for the first time in months.

I came awake slowly, remembering the night before, when I realized that something was wrong; Bella wasn't in my arms. I reached out my hand so I could touch her, and even thought the sheets were still warm, she was no longer in my bed. In my panic, I opened my eyes and sat up, trying to work out why she had left me. Did she regret what had happened? Before full-fledged panic could really set in, she called my name from the door to my room. My eyes snapped to her, drinking in the site of her disheveled appearance, noting the smug look of satiation and satisfaction I found in her smile. I asked her where she thought she was going and she told me that she was going to take a shower and then make her boyfriend breakfast and threw a flirty kiss over her shoulder at me.

Huh? I thought she said that her and Edwhiner weren't that serious… Oh, I think she means me. She just called me her boyfriend.

And boyfriends have shower privileges, don't they?

"Hey, wait. Do the breakfast thing first; I need to run to the store really fast." I said as I jumped out of bed and grabbed a fresh pair of jeans, pulling them on and buttoning them up as fast as I could. She asked what I could possibly need from the store since we had already been to the store earlier that week. I smirked at her, walked over to her and pulled my laughing girlfriend into my arms and answered her question. "A see-though shower curtain."

8 months later…

"Hurry up Em. We're going to miss it if you don't get your ass in gear right now!" Bella hollered from the living room.

It was just after 2:30 in the morning and my girlfriend was frantically yelling because her best friend Angela's husband had called to say that they had just gotten to the hospital. Angela found out she was pregnant within days of us starting our relationship, and apparently it was very important that Bella and I were there for their son's birth. And since Angela was one of the only people who supported us getting together during the first few months, I was inclined to agree.

The first few months everyone and everything seemed determined to break us up. No one thought that we would last or even that we should be together in the first place. Stacy Warren and her Skanelettes decided almost immediately that it was their duty to women everywhere to liberate me from the bonds of commitment. Even Assward tried to talk some 'sense' into Bella at one point. I wonder if he can feel his balls yet again or not. My girl worked him over good when he told her that she was stupid to think that I could ever be faithful to her. I was so proud… and faithful. I didn't need to get my balls jacked up to learn that particular lesson. I may be a jock, but I am not a moron.

Needless to say, having Ben and Angela in our corner was the one thing that kept my girl sane during that time. (That, and the fact that I am indeed pretty damn awesome.) And so because of that if they needed us we would be there.

We pulled up to the hospital twelve minutes later, and before I could even finish parking Bella had her door thrown open and was halfway out of the car.

"Geez Bells, I'm sure Ericcan wait a few more minutes for his Auntie Bella to get there before he rips his way out of Angela's hoo-ha." That comment was met by an eye roll and a snort, kinda like I thought it might be.

"Em, don't make me hurt you, because we both know I will. Just hurry up already." she threw out over her shoulder as we walked in through the ER doors. I followed behind her like the obedient man that I was. Hey, I'll admit that she had me trained; I did tricks for her and she gave me plenty of treats, if you know what I'm saying.

I walked up behind her as the duty nurse was giving her directions to Ang's room. "Ok, got it. Thank you," she told the nurse as she grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hall towards Labor and Delivery. As we neared the end of the hallway I could hear Angela screaming. 'Oh God, its true then,' I thought. After seeing this Bella will be ready to bar me permanently from her and I'll never get to visit the land of pussy ever again. My friend, Tyler, had warned me that his girl watched her sister give birth and then didn't let him touch her for two whole months- Two Months! I think my balls would pack up and move to Panama Beach if she puts me on a sex embargo for even two days.

"Oh my God Emmett, can you hear her?" she whispered to me, a look of horror already plastered on her face.

"You know, you don't have to do this Bella. You can always tell her that it's just too much. Everyone knows about your issues with blood, and I'm sure she wouldn't want you to faint while she's giving birth."

"No, I promised her I'd at least try, so I've got to be in there. She's the closest thing I have to a sister and she'd do it for me." she said with a look that clearly showed her mix of fear and apprehension.

"Alright, then I'll just duck in and say hello and then go wait in the waiting room." Which is exactly what I had planned on doing, unfortunately Angela and Ben had other ideas.

"Oh good, you guys are here." Ben said with obvious relief. "Ang and I wanted to ask you guys an important question before Eric is born. Would you guys be willing to be his Godparents?"

Me? They wanted me to be kinda-sorta responsible for their son's life? Were they insane? I was hardly responsible enough to keep a pet rock alive, let alone a living breathing kid. "Uhhh…" was my intelligent response, while Bella let out and excited gasp.

"Of course, we'd be delighted!" she squealed.

My comment was a bit more tempered. "Shouldn't someone in your family get that honor? Ben, what about your brother? I don't want to step on any toes here."

"We thought about it, but the truth is, we think you guys would be better suited to care for him if anything were to happen to us. Edwards is… well, he's Edward. He's not very fond of kids, nor is he in a place in his life where he would be able to care for a child should anything happen to us. You guys are practically married, and at some point you'll be going through this yourselves. We think that you guys are the perfect option for Eric's Godparents." Ben said.

I think he would've kept going except Angela turned into the Exorcist's cousin at that point. Honestly, I was only waiting around to see her head start spinning. A nurse walked in, and told her that she was going to check her progress and I took that as my cue to leave the room, possibly even the hospital. Just as I was about to exit, Ang grabbed my arm in some kind of Sumo-esque hand lock. Seriously, she cut the circulation to my hand off, her grip was so tight. "No, don't leave; I want you to be here when he's born. I want you to see him before anyone else does if you're going to be his Godfather." And with that my mind immediately wandered to the land of mob weddings and Marlon Brando granting favors at his daughter's wedding… Shit, I was going to be someone's Godfather.

I watched in horror as the nurse lifted the bottom of the blanket covering Angela's legs and stuck her hand in there. From the looks on both hers and Angela's faces, I guessed she was trying to find Ang's tonsils with her fingers.

"Oh good, you're fully dilated and completely effaced and I can feel the little guys head. Your water hasn't broken yet, but I'm going to go ahead and call the doctor now and he'll rupture it when he's ready to start the delivery if it hasn't happened by then. I'd estimate that you should be holding your son here pretty soon. Get ready folks, this is going to be one heck of an hour or so." Then she turned and looked at Bella and I and said, "If you're not planning on staying for the delivery, you should take this chance to head to the waiting room, otherwise I'll need you to step to the side and plan to stay out of the doctor's way."

"They're staying in here, they're his Godparents." Ang and Ben both said at the same time. All I could do was grimace and nod my head in agreement. What the hell had I gotten myself into?

Anyone who says that birth is a beautiful thing has never been an uninvolved party standing awkwardly in the corner of a delivery room. From where I stood, it was hella-scary. The sounds coming from Angela's throat were straight from any horror movie and the sounds coming from other places were… simply indescribable. There was this funky tang in the air and the doctor and nurses were handing utensils and instruments back and forth, and any of them that went anywhere near the blanket that barely covered Angela's lower half came back bloody. I was feeling lightheaded, and truthfully, the only thing that kept me standing there was the look of pure joy plastered on my girl's face. Ben's face alternated between looks of joy and pain, both as intense as Angela's as she did her best to push as hard as she could when the doctor told her to.

After a shorter time than I thought possible and longer than I thought it should have taken, a baby's cries could be heard. I watched in wonder as the doctor held up this purplish-pink thing that was covered in blood and this whitish-grey gunk. To my amazement, the thing moved, and all of a sudden it took on a baby-like shape. I could see feet and hands, and lots and lots of hair underneath all that goop. We all held our breath as Ben cut the cord and they laid him out on Angela's chest. I glanced up to her face and was dumbstruck by the look of pure love as she looked down at her newborn son.

In a moment straight out of any number of cheesy romance novels, her face transformed into Bella's and I saw her looking down at our child with that same look. My heart stuttered in my chest and my breath hitched. I wanted that. I wanted to see Bella carry my children in her belly, I wanted to hold her hand while she squeezed the ever-loving shit out it mine as she struggled to give birth to our babies. I wanted to know that half of me and half of her created a new life. I wanted her.

And I didn't want to wait another second to start pushing our lives towards that goal.

"Marry Me," I blurted out as I turned to face Bella.

"What? Em?" she asked as the room fell silent, the only sound the heart monitor that Ang was still hooked up to.

"Marry me Bella, please? I want this for us one day, I want to have babies with you and be this happy with you. I want us to have a family, but I want you to be my wife first. Please Bella, will you marry me?" I asked her.

"Em, are you sure that this is the right time…" she started to ask but Angela cut her off abruptly.

"This is the perfect time Bella. Now hurry up and answer the man, I have a baby to get to know." Angela said sternly.

"Yes Em, God yes!" she said as she threw her arms around me and kissed me for all she was worth. I held on to her, knowing that for once my life was definitely on the right track. It took a second for the noise in the background to register, but when it did I realized that the cacophony of the labor and delivery room would forever hold a special place in my heart.

After about a half an hour of cooing at baby Eric, I had settled into a rocking chair with the sleeping bundle in my arms. Angela was resting while Bella gently rubbed her lower back and Ben had gone out to get whatever family had arrived and was waiting out in the waiting room to meet Eric. When he walked back into the room he was accompanied by none other than Edwina himself and a tall leggy strawberry blond with tits that looked more than a little fake. I mean really, they didn't even jiggle a little when she walked, and with jugs that big they should be doing the Macarena every time she took a step.

"Hey guys, look who I found outside." Ben said cheerfully as he dragged Edweirdo towards his son. I almost wanted to ask Eddie-boy if he'd had all of his shots, but I decided in the interest of happy family togetherness that I'd refrain. Besides, I'd already won. I had the girl he wanted and she just agreed to be mine forever. I could afford to show him some charity, so I smiled at him without saying a word.

Tits on stilts walked over to me and put her hand on my arm. "Well hello there, don't you just look all kinds of adorable," she cooed in a vomit-inducing mixture of sugar and shit, "and the baby's pretty cute too."

"Back off Bimbo Barbie, that's my fiancée you're pawing at, and I don't like skankalicious whores with fake tits touching my property. You might lose that hand if you don't move it right now." Bella growled. I hadn't even seen her come up beside me, but I was more than slightly turned on by the possessive way she said fiancée to worry about where she'd come from. "Edward, you better call off your dog, she's peeing on the wrong tree."

I glanced over at Edwaldo's face, only to see him gaping like a fish out of water. "Fiancée? You're engaged? To him? But Bella…" he whined.

"Don't you 'but Bella' me, buddy. We've already had this discussion. You've made it clear that you don't think that I should be with him, and I thought I made it perfectly clear that I didn't give a flying fuck what you thought." Bella said through clenched teeth. "So yes, we're engaged, and I couldn't be happier. Now you can either stand there acting like a total ass, or you can hold your new nephew and act like an adult. I know that might be a stretch for you, but maybe your pimped out Hooker Barbie could help you get started on that." she spat out at him.

If it weren't for the sleeping baby in my arms, I so totally would've jumped up and fist-pumped for Bella. My girl has always been more than a little snarky, but over the past 8 months of being with me some of my kick-ass attitude seems to have rubbed off on her. I'd be willing to bet that she could take on an MMA fighter in their own octagon and come out the victor. Of course it helps that my girl doesn't play by the rules either, just ask old Edsack about his missing balls and newly acquired soprano voice if you don't believe me.

"Come on Edward, I don't have to deal with some bitch calling me names. I wanna go back to bed now." Tits McGee whined as she childishly stomped her foot.

"Tanya," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation, "I told you that this is my brother's first child and I needed to be here for him. I have to stay."

"Actually, you don't." Angela interjected. "His Godparents are already here and I'd rather you got your date du jour out of my hospital room. I've had a really happy though tiring day and I don't want it overshadowed with the essence of a petulant whore. Take her back to her corner please and we'll see you later this afternoon." she said in dismissal.

Yup, my life was getting brighter by the minute, and it would only get better. I closed my eyes, gripped the bundle in my arms a little bit tighter and began to rock gently, all the while thinking about my girl.

Isabella Marie McCarty… Bella McCarty… Mrs. McCarty

Mr. and Mrs. McCarty

I loved the sound of that.

I was getting married.

To Bella.

I could only smile. She was mine.

Until death do us Part…