I thought of this ridiculously funny idea that takes place during the 2007 Transformers film.

Transformers belongs to Hasbro, and the film versions belong to Paramount and Michael Bay. Curses!


Sam Witwicky was this close to delivering the AllSpark to the military chopper. However, the plan failed thanks to Starscream's missile that blew up the chopper. It wasn't long before Megatron emerged from the roof of the building.

"Is it fear," asked Megatron, "or courage that compels you, fleshling?"

Sam gripped onto one of the statues on the building while still holding onto the AllSpark.

"Give me the AllSpark," said Megatron, "and you could live to be my pet."

Of course, Sam was not willing to hand over the AllSpark. But then, he thought of something even weirder.

"Oh yeah?" smirked Sam, "what kind of pet?"

"Uhh," stammered Megatron, "the kind of pet you, uhh, take care of..."

"Ok, well next question," continued Sam, "are you gay?"

"WHAT?" shouted Megatron, "where the HELL did you get such a stupid idea?"

"I have a couple of friends who are gay," sneered Sam, "but if you want a girl, I'll be more than happy to find one for you."

"I don't need your stupid help," barked Megatron, "I can find one myself!"

"Well, that's too bad," teased Sam, "because I already peed on the AllSpark."

"YOU DID WHAT?" roared Megatron.

"You heard me," replied Sam, "and I can give you some cow intestines if you want. Oh yeah, and did you know that a human nose produces mucus, and did you know that if you pop a zit, pus comes out?"

"YOU'RE DISGUSTING!" spat Megatron.

Surprisingly, Megatron jumped off the building to look for Starscream. Meanwhile, Optimus just plucked Sam from one of the statues.

"You were really impressive, Sam," said Optimus, "you protected the Cube."

"No problem," replied Sam.

But as they climbed down to the streets of Mission City, they, along with the other Autobots and the soldiers, gaped in surprise and confusion as they saw Megatron beat the crap out of Starscream.

"What's going on?" asked Sam.

"Beats me," answered Lennox, "it looks like Megatron is pissed off about something."

"You did something to anger Megatron," queried Optimus, "didn't you, Sam?"

"What else am I supposed to do to keep him from getting the Cube?"

"So I take that as a yes."


Ok, so this is a short fic. Well, I hope you like it.

Please review, so the Autobots and Deceptions will stop fighting each other. XD