This is the first attempt at a song fic. The song is God Has A Plan For Us All by Angtoria. I am not religious and that's not what I want the story to seem what it is like. The singer/song writer said the title of the song is a symbol because people always say god has a plan for us all when bad things happen. She references suicide, rape, murder, religion, tragedy, etc... The story itself is focused on the rape and suicide. I based the story off of the music video with a little bit of my own touches. :) Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't, in any way, own Harry Potter or the song.
So he crept into my room.
Whispered my name, took my innocence away.
I'm only five, a pervert's concubine.
Pansy Parkinson had just turned seventeen. She had always been something she wasn't. Perfect. It had been her number one facade, that and being a cold hearted bitch. She wasn't really like that at all. She had to make herself that way so no one would realize how hurt and broken she had always been on the inside.
It was December of her seventh year at Hogwarts, just a few weeks before Christmas. For the past twelve years her life had been nothing but hell. Anyone else would have said, "Pansy? She's rich. Her dad owns half of Knockturn Alley. She's dating that Malfoy boy. She always looks happy."
Wrong, completely and utterly wrong. The past twelve years she has been haunted. She's had nightmares. She's been afraid. Someone she's not. She would always remember that awful night when she was five years old.
"He wants you to repent, all your sins, let him in, inside you!" The man said.
Pansy looked up at him confused. What was he talking about? By the way he was dressed he had to have been raised by muggles. Most likely half-blood if he was in Knockturn Alley.
"God has a plan for us all. You are one of god's children. Get on your knees, Serve him well my child," he continued on, "don´t say a word or you'll go to Hell!"
She dropped to her knees then looked around the empty alley they were in. It was the usual weather. Cold and rainy.
"Come with me, child." The strange man took her hand and led her away from Knockturn Alley. Away from the magic world. Away from her familiarities. He led her into a beautiful building. On top stood of the building a tall statue in the shape of a cross with a man pinned onto it. All was carved from a rich, beautiful marble.
Pansy stared in awe. The architecture of the building was beautiful; she could only imagine the inside. The man took her hand and led her inside. It was just as beautiful as the outside. There were stained glass windows that seemed to tell a story. Pews lined each side of the room in a color the most pure of whites. There was an isle between the pews with dark red carpet. At the end of an isle were a few steps. At the top of the steps was a glass podium with candles on it. There were candles all around. Statues stood a ways back behind the pew and an organ of the same white color as the pews.
This was all new to her. A five year old pure-blood girl had never seen anything of the sort. She was amazed. "What is this place?" she finally asked to the mysterious man, whom she hadn't a clue is.
"Why, it's a church. Muggles come here to pray to God," he replied.
"Who's God?" she asked him.
"Merlin. Merlin is god."
Pansy simply nodded. She knew all about Merlin. The church made her feel safe protected. But still, she knew she shouldn't have followed the stranger to the muggle world. Her mother would scold her awfully when she returned home.
"I should get home to my mother," she said softly. A completely innocent child is what she was. She wasn't frightened by him in the least. A stranger. She followed him like a puppy follows its owner.
"So soon? But, I have something to show you, Miss Parkinson!" The man smiled at her, sweetly.
"How do you know my name?"
"I work with your mother."
Pansy knew now that he was safe and wouldn't hurt her. Her mother worked with only the best people. Or so she thought.
The man led her into a back room. There were small figurines and paintings. Not as big or beautiful as the other room but elegant all the same. Pansy looked around. The man walked to the other side of the room and picked a figurine up. He admired it for a moment before setting it down then turning back to her. "Come here, Pansy." He held his arms out and smiled.
Pansy bit her lip but walked over to him. He knelt down to her level. "You are very beautiful, Pansy," he said with a smile as he pulled the ribbon tied into a bow out of her hair.
"Why are you taking my ribbon out? My mummy put that into my hair." She frowned.
"You won't need it right now," he said, "spread your legs, let Jesus in."
The last thing she could remember of that night was the evil grin across his face as she screamed in agony.
Pansy's eyes welled up in tears as she looked into the cracked mirror of the bathroom in the Shrieking Shack. She looked over at the old bathtub that was filling with hot water. The water pressure was awful so it slowly filled. She was impatient and eager for it to fill. She looked back at the mirror. "God has a plan for us all…" She remembered what the man told her the second time he took her back to the church when she was nine years old.
"Surrender your body & soul unto him, demoralize me! You have been touched by the hand of God," she repeated to herself quietly.
The bathtub was nearly half full.
"His sordid tale…his lies are blasphemy." She scowled and grabbed her wand, pointing it at the mirror in front of her. "Bombarda!" She shielded her eyes with her arm. Little shards of glass cut her and planted themselves inside of her. She ignored the pain and took a step back. The mirror was blown to bits and part of the wall cracked. One lone piece of glass was the perfect size for her task. It was about 6 inches long. She picked it up, gripping it tightly which caused her hand to slice open. She once again ignored the pain. She embraced it. Blood trickled down her hand and splat onto the floor.
Pansy took a breath and turned to face the bathtub. It was steaming hot and full to the top. She walked over and turned the water off. The water was about to overflow. It didn't matter now. She slipped her shoes off and stepped into the hot bath. The water caused her dress to stick to her legs. She sat down and started to sob. Nothing mattered anymore. She needed to escape the nightmares. The nightmares. Every summer that man took something from her that wasn't his. Her innocence.
The blood from her hand began to tint the water red. She swallowed nervously and took the piece of glass and raised it. She lifted her other arm above the water then within the blink of an eye there was a gash on her wrist. She let her arm drop back down into the water. The hot water was quickly turning into warm, watery blood. She dropped the glass onto the floor.
I've fallen prey to the devil disguise. She thought to herself.
The blood was quickly pooling from her wrist. The cut was deep and long. She lifted her bloody hand up to her hair and pushed it out of her eyes. A flower fell from her hair onto the surface of the bloody water.
It was a green pansy. Her favorite.
"Draco…" she whispered.
He had gotten her the flower earlier that day. Her always gave them to her. More tears fell from her eyes. She couldn't take it anymore. She dunked herself under the water, letting death embrace her.
The blood and lack of air was catching up.
"Pansy? Pansy!" she could hear a familiar voice call from the bottom of the stairs. No reply escaped her lips. She heard soft pounding as someone ran up the stairs. "Pansy?" She heard again.
Her breath was running out. She felt light headed. The voice kept calling her name. It was getting closer. "Pansy?" She heard. The voice couldn't have been three feet away.
"Oh my god…" the voice cracked. It must've seen the bloody sight in front of him.
Just as Pansy was about to let her breath out she felt herself be pulled up out of the water. He shook her. "Pansy!" he screamed as he shook her violently. "Answer me!" he cried out.
Pansy managed to open her eyes open just slightly, just enough to show a sign of life. Draco. She couldn't make out his face but she could see his snowy blonde hair and could see a glint of silver that must have been his eyes. She wanted to scream for him to save. She wanted to tell him how sorry she was for leaving him. He was the one thing that gave her a sense of peace. He kept her safe. She loved him but now she would never have the chance to tell him any of those things.
"Pansy! Pansy! Dammit, don't leave me! Why are you doing this! Pansy!" His screamed grew fainter, more distant. She closed her eyes again. "No! Don't you dare die on me! I love you, Pansy!"
He loved her. He loved her and she left him. She felt selfish.
Draco grabbed his wand and screamed every healing spell he could remember. Nothing worked. He broke down in sobs. "Why would you do this to me, Pansy Puff…I love you so much. I need you. You can't leave me. I love you. I've never told you that but I do…I love you more than anyone."
The last thing she saw were his silvery eyes and the last thing she heard was his undying confessed love for her. She was never able to tell him she felt the same way. She thought she would have welcomed death like an old friend. Instead, she regretted ever trying it to begin with. Death welcomed her though. Right into his cold arms and took her away from the one who loved her most of all.
I hope you enjoyed the story! Like I said, my first attempt at a song fic. I do story requests as long as they are one shots. So, if you have a song fic request message me! :D I love reviews!