A/N: This fic came to mind when I heard about a very...disturbing request a fellow author had been given. Dreaded Rasengan, this one's for you!

Sakura groaned as she made her way out of the hospital. She just had to work the day after she got married, didn't she? "Stupid schedule," she thought to herself. "I should have known someone up above was laughing at me when I saw that."

She left the final hallway and looked up. There, in the waiting room, right next to her exit, was Naruto. "Hey, Sakura!" he called out, waving with a huge grin on his face. Clearly, his day so far was going much better than Sakura's was. Oh well, maybe talking this mess out would help.

"Hey, Naruto," she said, sounding slightly less excited than Sasuke did back when they got their first D-rank mission as Team Seven.

Naruto patted the seat next to him. Sakura sank into it, her emerald eyes focused on the floor. "Okay, what's up, Sakura?" he asked. "I haven't seen you this down since Sasuke left to join Orochimaru."

Sakura gave a slight smile. Normally she would have laughed at the irony that Naruto could tell she was down when Sasuke hadn't even noticed when she was practically bawling that morning! Granted, she hadn't cried, and Sasuke wasn't exactly the most well-versed person she knew socially, but still! Naruto could tell she was upset by just hearing her voice and looking at her for a few seconds, yet Sasuke couldn't tell when she'd been moping around the house for hours that morning!

"You know, Naruto, sometimes I think I would have been better off with you," she said after a moment, chuckling wryly.

Naruto shook his head. "I don't know about that, Hinata might have killed you if she thought I was ignoring her for you," he told her.

Sakura couldn't help it; she had to laugh at that. Smiling a little after her laugh subsided, she looked into Naruto's eyes. "Thanks, I needed that," she told him. Naruto just waved her off like it was no big deal. "I'm just upset about Sasuke," she said after a moment of silence.

Naruto's eyes filled with anger. "What did he do to you? Did he hurt you?" he asked, his anger clear in his voice.

Sakura shook her head. "No, he didn't hurt me, I'm fine. It's just..." she hesitated and looked around. By some weird fluke, they were completely alone in the hospital waiting room. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, as proven when she accepted Sasuke's marriage proposal last month without a second thought, she shook off the odd feeling of apprehension she got from being alone in a hospital waiting room with just Naruto. "He didn't exactly...live up to my expectations, that's all."

Naruto looked around the room then, realizing what Sakura was most likely implying. "You mean...sexually?" he asked her. Sakura nodded, blushing slightly. "What happened?"

Sakura sighed. She'd been half-hoping, half-afraid he'd ask that. "It was when we got home last night, after the reception and all that, you know," she started. Naruto nodded and she went on, "Well, Sasuke kept talking about how he was going to make his dreams come true and mine with them. I was surprised he was being so romantic, to be honest."

Naruto had to chuckle at that. "Or maybe he was just being his normal obsessed self," he suggested. Sakura looked a bit confused. "Oh, come on, Sakura, you know how Sasuke always has been. He's always thinking of his 'ambition' and all that. He probably thinks everyone is like that, and all he meant was that you were both going to finally fulfill your ambitions in life."

Sakura glared at the blond for a minute, wishing she could deny what he was saying offhand, but, really, she couldn't. In fact, he was probably right, but she wasn't about to give him the pleasure of admitting it! "Anyway," she half-snarled. "When we went into the bedroom, he had it all set up, scented candles burning, rose petals everywhere, the bed had this really fluffy light red comforter, and a bottle of massage oil sitting on the bedside table. There was some soft music playing in the background. It was all really nice."

Naruto snorted. "Yeah, I bet it was the Uchiha theme playing," he said. Sakura looked at him and blushed slightly; that was what had been playing. "And I'd bet money those rose petals made the shape of a Sharingan."

Sakura thought about that a moment. "Is that why he moved those pillows where he did on the bed? It didn't make much sense for them to be there, really. I guess that would explain why the pillows were black of all things, too." She wasn't about to let Naruto know about her sudden doubts; it'd just put more fuel on an already raging fire. Instead, she continued, "So, we both stripped down, and he lay me down and gave me a long massage. I don't think I've ever been so relaxed. I'm pretty sure he was using his Sharingan to make sure not a single muscle in my body was still tense."

Naruto snorted again. "He just wanted to make sure you were completely malleable so he could bend you to his will," he said cynically. By this time, he'd figured out something went drastically wrong between Sasuke and Sakura, so he was doing his best to make everything Sakura told him make Sasuke look bad.

Sakura didn't bother to acknowledge Naruto's comment this time. She had to admit, though only to herself, that Naruto was doing a damn good job of making Sasuke sound like a total jerk. "Well, then, when he rolled me over and got up on me to make love for the first time he...well, couldn't," she said. Naruto refrained from commenting on that. His eyebrow was raised in confusion. Sakura continued, "I mean, when he tried to...go into me, he...wasn't hard...like at all. We tried to get it in anyway, but it just wouldn't work."

Naruto chuckled. "Well, I guess that explains why you're so down. I expected you to be upbeat after a night full of making love with him, but if it turned out like that..." he said, shaking his head in sympathy.

Sakura nodded. "Then he muttered something like 'maybe he was right' and lifted me off the bed. We made out for a few minutes, then he laid on his back and handed me this really fluffy set of pink handcuffs. He had me cuff him to the bed, and I swear, I tried everything to turn him on, it just was not happening, no matter what I did!"

Naruto was snarling as he listened to this. "That bastard! I told him I did that for Hinata on our wedding night! The little thief stole my idea!" he didn't quite shout.

"So that's what he meant, huh?" Sakura thought, utterly disappointed. "And here I thought he was being all romantic and spontaneous! So much for that." Her disappointment must have been clear on her face because Naruto reached over and patted her shoulder, a look of concern on his face.

Sakura gave Naruto a small smile. "I'll be okay," she said. "Thanks for listening, Naruto."

Naruto gave her a smile. "Hey, anytime, what are friends for?" he told her.

"Oh, by the way, what are you doing here, Naruto?" Sakura asked. As she said this, the door to the waiting room opened, and Hinata came into the room, followed by Tsunade.

Naruto got up and met Hinata in the middle of the room. Putting his arms around her, he smiled into her eyes. "What did you find out?" he asked her. He noticed Tsunade giving him a warning glare out of the corner of his eye, but he ignored her. His attention was focused solely on Hinata now.

Hinata blushed deeply. Cupping Naruto's cheek in one hand gently, she said with a smile, "You know that room we've got set aside back home for when we have kids?" Naruto nodded. "Well, we need to get it ready to be used, Daddy."

Naruto slowly started to smile. "You mean, you're...?" he asked.

Hinata nodded. "I'm pregnant," she told him with a huge smile.

Naruto whooped and lifted Hinata off the ground. Spinning her around a quick time, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her gently, lovingly. Then he remembered something. He chuckled lowly then whispered into Hinata's ear, "Guess I already gave you your birthday present, didn't I?"

Hinata blushed. "You remembered?" she asked.

"Of course I remembered. I even got you a gift, it's at home, but I doubt it's as good as that one," he said, patting her belly gently. Hinata blushed and smiled at his loving action. "So, you're eating for two now?" he teased.

Tsunade came from behind Hinata just then. "Three, actually," she said. "She's pregnant with twins."

In the excitement of Hinata's announcement, no one noticed that Sakura had slipped out of the hospital. Walking toward her home, where she knew Sasuke was waiting for her, she let out a huge groan, looked up at the sky, and shouted, "WHY ME!"

A/N: And there you have it, the real truth of what would happen on Sasuke's wedding night!

Masashi: And Sakura, why you? Because it's Hinata's birthday, that's why!

Hinatasgreatestfan: Masashi? What are you doing here?

Masashi (glaring at HGF): You're not writing anything else for Hinata's birthday, and I had to wish her a happy one, so this was my only choice! Besides, Naruto and Hinata are my favorites, you know that!

HGF: Yeah, true, I guess. Well, anyway, there you have it, folks, hope you enjoyed, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY HINATA!