Things I will NOT do at Hogwarts

If a fellow student falls asleep in class, I will not take that opratuanity to draw a dark mark on their arm.

I will not tell muggle born first years that there is a bring a muggle to school day.

I will inform Remus Lupin as 'Professor Lupin' during class, not Moony.

I will not ask Harry how his parents are doing.

If there is a Death Eater attack in Hogsmede, I will not point to the Dark Mark in the sky and scream, "TO THE BATMOBILE ROBIN!"

Draco Malfoy is not a Vampire, so there for I will not try to stake him.

There is not a 5th house at Hogwarts. I am not a part of it or am I the founder.

I will not tell the first years to befriend the Whomping Willow.

I will not phone up Pizza Hut and tell them to deliver to Gryffindor Tower.

I will not give Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

I will not post a story called 'My life at Hogwarts' onto the muggle internet.

I will not scream out Draco Malfoy's love for Hermione Granger in the Great Hall... nor will I inform it to Lucius Malfoy.

I will not sing the Darth Vader song when Snape comes into the room, nor is it a good idea to do this to Voldemort.

I will not inform the Slytherins as 'Voldemort's Minions'.

I will not call Hermione Granger 'Mudpie'.

I will not ask Dobby about how it's like making toys for Santa Clause.

I will not say that the first year Slytherins have to become Death Eaters and work for Voldemort.

I will try to avoid telling 'Yo Mama' jokes to Harry.

I will not call Harry 'Prongslet'.

I will stop calling Dumbledore Gandalf.

Nor will I ask him if he knows Bilbo Baggins.

I will not replace Draco Malfoy's broom with one from Flitch's cupboard right before a Quidditch match.

I will not scream, "I'VE GOT THE POWER!" every time I'm about to cast a spell.

I will not give Remus Lupin a flea collar for Christmas.

I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

I am not allowed to make lightsaber noises with my wand.

I will never ask Harry if his Voldie Senses are tingling

I will not make a love potion in Harry's drink to make him fall for Pansy Parkinson... again.

First years are not to be used as Fluffy Food.

I will not do a presentation on witch burning for Muggle Studies.

I am not allowed to go up to Cho wearing a tee shirt that says 'It's always the pretty ones who die' with a picture of Cedric Diggory.

I will not ask a Muggle tattoo artist to tattoo a dark mark onto my arm.

I will not write TRATOR onto Percy Weasley's forehead with a permanent marker while he is sleeping.

I will not introduce paintballing to Peeves.

I will not go up to Harry, stare at him and tell him that he has got his father's eyes.

I will not sing, "We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!" when sent to Dumbledore's office.

I will not ask Lupin when it is 'his time of the month'

I must not dress up as Voldemort for hallowe'en.

I will upload more when I think of any more! :-)