Things I will NOT do at Hogwarts
If a fellow student falls asleep in class, I will not take that opratuanity to draw a dark mark on their arm.
I will not tell muggle born first years that there is a bring a muggle to school day.
I will inform Remus Lupin as 'Professor Lupin' during class, not Moony.
I will not ask Harry how his parents are doing.
If there is a Death Eater attack in Hogsmede, I will not point to the Dark Mark in the sky and scream, "TO THE BATMOBILE ROBIN!"
Draco Malfoy is not a Vampire, so there for I will not try to stake him.
There is not a 5th house at Hogwarts. I am not a part of it or am I the founder.
I will not tell the first years to befriend the Whomping Willow.
I will not phone up Pizza Hut and tell them to deliver to Gryffindor Tower.
I will not give Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
I will not post a story called 'My life at Hogwarts' onto the muggle internet.
I will not scream out Draco Malfoy's love for Hermione Granger in the Great Hall... nor will I inform it to Lucius Malfoy.
I will not sing the Darth Vader song when Snape comes into the room, nor is it a good idea to do this to Voldemort.
I will not inform the Slytherins as 'Voldemort's Minions'.
I will not call Hermione Granger 'Mudpie'.
I will not ask Dobby about how it's like making toys for Santa Clause.
I will not say that the first year Slytherins have to become Death Eaters and work for Voldemort.
I will try to avoid telling 'Yo Mama' jokes to Harry.
I will not call Harry 'Prongslet'.
I will stop calling Dumbledore Gandalf.
Nor will I ask him if he knows Bilbo Baggins.
I will not replace Draco Malfoy's broom with one from Flitch's cupboard right before a Quidditch match.
I will not scream, "I'VE GOT THE POWER!" every time I'm about to cast a spell.
I will not give Remus Lupin a flea collar for Christmas.
I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
I am not allowed to make lightsaber noises with my wand.
I will never ask Harry if his Voldie Senses are tingling
I will not make a love potion in Harry's drink to make him fall for Pansy Parkinson... again.
First years are not to be used as Fluffy Food.
I will not do a presentation on witch burning for Muggle Studies.
I am not allowed to go up to Cho wearing a tee shirt that says 'It's always the pretty ones who die' with a picture of Cedric Diggory.
I will not ask a Muggle tattoo artist to tattoo a dark mark onto my arm.
I will not write TRATOR onto Percy Weasley's forehead with a permanent marker while he is sleeping.
I will not introduce paintballing to Peeves.
I will not go up to Harry, stare at him and tell him that he has got his father's eyes.
I will not sing, "We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!" when sent to Dumbledore's office.
I will not ask Lupin when it is 'his time of the month'
I must not dress up as Voldemort for hallowe'en.
I will upload more when I think of any more! :-)