305Because you all love me so much! I write you another chapter!
Disclaimer: *pokes chest* Nope, still a girl.
"IhateyouIhateyouIhateyou…" I continued to chant this towards Kitty until Em put a hand over my mouth.
"I think we get it."
"Besides, it can't be someone that bad~!" Kitty chirped as she opened a booklet that was attached to the box. Emily peered over her shoulder.
GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS!
You have just purchased your very own GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit! This manual was created in order to allow you, the owner, to unlock your unit's full potentials, and it is advised that you read this pamphlet thoroughly before attempting to operate your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit, as mistreatment may result in an infuriated unit and aching body parts.
"Kitty, this is bad. We have Prussia."
"Prussia? YAY~! Open it!" Lorelei is a bit of a fangirl when it comes to Prussia. Chloe tilted her head slightly.
"What's a unit anyways?" I shrugged.
"We'll find out. Now, let's read this manual thing." Though it seemed all of us widened our eyes in shock at 'length'. "Who wrote this? They are a bit perverted…"
"Hey! Here's the bit we need!" Moon pointed to a section of the book.
Removal of your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT from Packaging
Due to your unit's volatile, rash nature, removing your unit from his box may prove to be quite the challenge. For your safety, we have provided a list of ways in which to wake him up, as improperly waking him will result in agony for you and all nearby.
1. Stand next to the box and pour beer on the lid. Your unit will claw his way out and harass you for some beer, and we advise you give it to him if you value your house. After getting his alcohol, he will be very friendly to you.
2. Set a plate of Austrian apple strudel next to the box, or play piano as well as you can. Your unit will get out carefully, probably in the belief that you are a RODERICH EDELSTEIN unit, and will try to ninja-jump you; reprogram him fast enough and he will not try to rape you.
3. Stand next to the box and say anything in Russian, preferably with the best accent you can manage. Your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit will tremble hard enough for the box to shake, and then you can open it and he will cry with joy at the fact that you are not an IVAN BRAGINSKI unit; he will also be very submissive to anything you want. If you would like a defiant unit, stand far, far away - preferably at a distance from which you need a microphone - and call your unit by 'Kaliningrad'. The box lid will fly off and your unit will go into a rage, searching for an IVAN BRAGINSKI; reprogram him quickly to avoid major damage to your house.
4. Activate his Gilbird unit. This will automatically awaken your unit and he will chase Gilbird down.
"One and two are out… I wonder if we'll ever get a unit that can cook. It would be nice not to eat take-out…"
"That's what you think about Chloe? Not the fact that there is an awesome guy stuck in a box? Let's just activate Gilbird." Lorelei suggested as she pulled the small box off the top.
"I'll get the crowbar!" Kitty dashed off to go find the non-existent tool.
"Quick! Open it before she comes back!" The six of us unlatched the small cover and quickly found the ball of feathers we wanted.
"Pi~?" The small chick shook its feathers and fluttered around the room.
"Hey buddy!" The albino (ex)nation had escaped his box, somehow, and was chasing his bird around the living room.
"Guys! I'm back! Oh! Prussia!" We all turned to Kitty… who was holding a crowbar? Where did that come from?
"Kesese! I'm glad you know the awesomeness that is me! But who are you chicks?"
"I'm Em."
"Hiya~! I'm Kitty! We should be friends!" Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that girls head…
"Mora, but I prefer to be called Moon." Prussia nodded slightly.
"Emily. Dare insult me and you lose you 'five meters'."
"I'm Chloe. Call me short and I do the same as Emily." Prussia backed away from my violent friends.
"I'm Lorelei and I love you! Marry me!" I swear, if she could, Lorelei would have hearts for eyes right now. I grabbed her collar before she could assault Prussia.
"And I'm Morgan. This is our lovely home." To add effect, I spread my arms out and spun in a circle. Prussia looked the seven of us up and down, probably mentally striping us.
"You know, you girls are pretty hot." Lorelei was close to fainting, while I was ready to hurt Prussia.
"Morgan, don't hurt him yet. All he was doing was complimenting us." Em tried to rationalize. I glared at my friend.
"If he ends up raping me, I blame you."
So Prussia seemed to have made home on the couch. I honestly don't know what my friends do in their free time. But I was reading some pretty great yaoi.
"Morgan, what are you- IS THAT YAOI?" Emily (and everyone else, except Prussia) sprinted up behind me.
"Yeah. You know where I keep it."
"You never told us. You and your possessiveness." Chloe rolled her eyes. After a few minutes of silence (Gay baby is born) Prussia walked in looking a bit pale.
"Eep! Are you ok baby?" I couldn't help but laugh a little at Lorelei.
"W-why…why do you have this?" He holds up one of my doujinshi's. I whack him as hard as I can (which isn't much) and grab my yaoi.
"Where did you find this?" I asked, my voice dripping evil. Look, I like my yaoi. No one shall touch it without permission.
"Your room…" In a second, I was alone in the kitchen with Prussia. Stupid yaoi-obsessed friends.
"Why were you in my room?" I glared at the soon-to-be dead nation. He still seemed to be in disturbed shock.
"I was looking for you. But now I know you're like Hungary. It's unawesome." That's when I grabbed my bat and began to chase him.
"Morgan! Don't kill him!"
So it's been two days since Prussia arrived. He keeps complaining for beer.
"Hey! I demand a beer!"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because one, everyone in this house is underage. And B, alcohol is bad for you." I explained to the Prussian as I continued drawing.
"But I want it! This place is unawesome!" I turned and glared.
"You are damn lucky drawing keeps me calm or else I would cut off your testicles." Prussia slowly back up before running for his life.
And that was the first day. It became so annoying; I ordered a fake ID form Customer Services. And no, they can't take him back.
*ding!*
'Stupid doorbell…' I began cursing in my mind as I opened the door. "Look, if it's another- OMF!" I was glomped by a girl slightly shorter than me with glasses and short-ish brown hair. So, she actually looks a lot like me. Except the glasses (I have contacts) and short hair.
"Morgan! How are you? Where's everyone else?" The girl let go and looked at me with questioning face.
"Hi Myrna. Everyone is out shopping for food. Or asleep."
"You need multiple people to go shop for food?"
"You've met them, haven't you?"
"True. So, I'm here for a few days because I wanted to see my twin!" Me and Myrna aren't twins, but we are pretty dang close.
"We're back and- MYRNA!" Kitty ran to Myrna like a lightning bolt and almost knocked me over. She's lucky she didn't.
"Kitty~. The groceries." Emily motioned her head to a bag spilled on the floor. My eyes caught something instantly.
"SALMON!" I yelled as I rubbed the packaged fish against my face. Everyone else sweatdropped. I blinked as I realized something.
"Huh, you need a room Prussia." I placed the salmon on the table. Everyone else nodded.
"He can be next to me!" Lorelei grabbed Prussia's arm and ran before anyone could protest.
"I was going to say that was a bad idea, but whatever." Moon shrugged. Now might be a good time as any to go shower. So I walked into the bathroom and stripped.
So, after I was done with my shower, I wrapped the towel around myself and opened the curtain. Too bad someone else was there also. It took me a second to remember my current condition.
"… GET THE HELL OUT OF THE BATHROOM NOW YOU DAMN FUCKING PERVERT!"
"But you look go-"
"Finish that statement and die."
So, Myrna left a few days ago. Now it was me and 'my crew', so to speak.
"Prussia! Come on!" Lorelei was… begging? Man, Prussia really affected her. Em and Chloe just sat, watching the weirdness that is our home. Emily was trying to kill Kitty.
"But you do look like a leprechaun! The hair and the dress and- Emily! That hurts!" Kitty whined. A doorbell caused silence.
"Well, who's going to answer it?" Moon looked at me. I groaned and walked towards the door.
"Hello?"
"Another delivery." The same man as before stood on the doorstep with another box next to him.
"Are you always going to be delivering here? If so, I think knowing your name would be nice. 'Delivery Dude' isn't a great name in my opinion."
"I'm Mark, Miss Freeley." I stared at him.
"That's the first time someone has called me that…"
"Because you aren't awesome enough to be called something formal!" I turned around and glared at my housemate.
"SHUT UP PRUSSIA! Anyways, I'm either going to hate or somehow actually like you depending on this unit."
"Where do you want this?"
"Living room would be nice…" I watched him wheel in the box and leave. "…GUYS! NEW UNIT!"
"Who is it?" Em yawned a bit after she asked. I took of the manual and read it a bit.
"Can it cook?" I turned towards Chloe.
"It's England." Everyone (but Emily)'s face fell slightly.
"Damn. I wanted to live until I was at least 50…"
So there's chapter 2! I have an idea! If you can tell me where this quote is from, I can write you a oneshot or have you appear in this story or something!
The quote: "This may surprise you, but the sewer system of a burg with eight million people is even less delightful than you might imagine."
Hint: It's part of a book (yes, you need the EXACT title)
Good luck!