Okay, so check this retarded shit out. A few hours ago I got into a fight with my 19 year old brother… a physical fight with punches and everything. This fight came to an abrupt conclusion when I took his back and almost choked him unconscious trying to get him to admit that he was wrong. I had to let go because I can't choke my little brother out. I'm a trained killer (How would that look?), it just wasn't fair from the jump, and in the end he refused to admit that I was right about this.

The backstory goes as such; around twelve years ago we played Pokémon Yellow and Red respectively and he had a level 92 Charizard but the rest of his team was complete and utter hot garbo, and I had a fully reliable team of six level 65-to-75 level Pokémon on my team (My main cable battle squad) and we battled. He killed only one of mine with his Charizard, but I had sent Pikachu in right after the first one dropped, and Thunder attack messed him all up… paralyzed and everything. I was about to take out his best one… the very backbone of his damn squad… when the game froze.

The point was not to bring up two adults fighting over a children's game played over 10 years ago, the point was that while choking him partially unconscious I thought of doing this and it all just fell into place from there.

Don't judge me, I'm not insane… because I'm well aware of just how unbalanced I am.

And of course like always; I do not own Naruto or Pokémon.


The No. 1 Hyperactive, Knucklehead Master

Chapter 1: A Special S-Rank Mission

"What do you mean you aren't going?" A tall man with long, spiky white hair shouted indignantly. He had a green kimono shirt on and green pants, and over the shirt was an open red vest. Red line facial markings sat underneath his eyes going directly down and he was thoroughly fired up from his current actions of lifting a young blonde boy in an orange jumpsuit with blue trim on the shoulders up by his collar, "I have to get you ready Naruto. I've already told you what's coming in three years."

Said blonde boy, Naruto, had a scowl on his face, with three whisker-marks sitting on each cheek. His spiky blonde hair was held out of his face by way of a blue headband with a metal, leaf-insignia inscribed plate and as previously mentioned he wore a thick orange jumpsuit with a white collar and with blue on the front and back of the shoulders that had a pink whirlpool design on the centered back, "I can't just leave Ero-sennin. I can train here right?"

"Your buddy Sasuke won't be staying in just one place with Orochimaru." Jiraiya, or Ero-sennin, tried to argue back. Seriously, this kid was just one big headache after another, "He'll be moving from base to base all over every bit of Otogakure that there is while he's being trained. This is just what you do."

"What who does?"

"I don't know… but the point is, you're coming with me, and if you don't Tsunade'll make you."

And with that, both of them looked at the third person in the office, sitting behind her desk with a look of amused interest in her brown eyes. She had long blonde hair in two pigtails down her back, pink lipstick, and a small diamond marking on her forehead with an appearance that was far younger than her actual age. She wore a grey kimono blouse underneath an open green jacket that covered up her rather sizeable assets on her chest, but still left enough visible for anyone to see, "You're actually asking me to make him leave Jiraiya? What's the matter you old goat, you can't even convince your own apprentice to train with you?"

"Oh I'll train." Naruto replied before pointing down at the ground, "I'll train right here in Konoha. How am I supposed to become Hokage without even being here?" He then held the back of his head as Jiraiya had just struck him, "Ow! What the hell?"

"You idiot." Jiraiya then pointed right at Tsunade to illustrate a point, "What do you think she's been doing for the last damn decade before we went to go and get her back a few months ago?" Tsunade waved at him for added emphasis, "We're only going to be gone for a few years to whip your low-class genin ass into shape."

"I'm still not going." Naruto said stubbornly, turning away from Jiraiya with his arms crossed. And at this point it was starting to piss Tsunade off a bit too, as she got up and walked towards him with a look of intent on her face. Naruto figured he saw the face of the devil when he saw Tsunade's hand make the motion for a finger-flick and opened his mouth to comment before

It was purely done for Naruto's own well-being, but watching Naruto fly through the doors of the office at such a speed almost made Jiraiya panic until he realized that Tsunade would never really hurt the brat, "Whoa. That'll put him out cold for a few hours… it won't make him want to go any more than before when he wakes up though."

"Shizune!" Tsunade shouted for her assistant, watching as just outside the office a woman with short dark hair, wearing a black kimono looked down at the knocked out Naruto and up at Tsunade before shaking her head and picking the young ninja up to take him somewhere comfortable to wake up at later. With that being taken care of, Tsunade turned her attention back to Jiraiya, "I can't make him go to train. It's not really a mission to send him on a training trip."

A nod came from Jiraiya until the proverbial lightbulb went off in his head, "Oh Tsunade-hime, I've got a little something for this. Just go with this and it'll work perfectly."


(Four Days Later – Tsunade's Office)

"A mission?" Naruto said questioningly as he stood in front of Tsunade again, this time giving her a very wide berth of space, "Wait, I thought you wanted to send me on a training trip with Ero-sennin. Why are you sticking me with this mission right now?"

Goodness, if this story was bought then Jiraiya was something of a genius. That was what Tsunade figured at least. With that mindset she launched into her and Jiraiya's worked out explanation of how this would work, "Well Naruto. Like I said, we're going to be sending you to a foreign land to gather intelligence and if possible study the wildlife. It's for the most part an uncharted area that we don't have much info on."

"Uncharted?" It seemed rather unbelievable to Naruto. How could anywhere in the world be uncharted? But then again, there were more important things going on than trying to explore things that had no bearing on shinobi life in the Elemental Nations. But still, if people lived in places like Yuki no Kuni then what the hell was any kind of excuse other than somewhere being inhospitable?

A shrug came from Tsunade, "It was discovered right before the outbreak of the Third Shinobi World War, but there was never any follow-up due to the war, the recovery afterwards, the entire Kyuubi debacle, trying to avert a war with Kumogakure… there were a bunch of reasons. But from the first trip a report came that there were many strange animals with high combat capabilities in this place. We want to see just what this place has to offer so we're sending you to recover intel and study the land's ecology."

That sounded damnably cool in Naruto's opinion. So he'd be a pioneer of sorts? He could just see his name being placed in history books. Yeah, then some other kids would have to remember useless facts about him and what he did for once instead of the other way around! Finally, justice!

And from there, Tsunade only sweetened the whole thing as far as he went, "It's very, very far away. But the people there speak our language, and with the distance you'll be travelling alone I can qualify this as an S-rank mission for you. It's pretty important potentially to Konoha and Hi no Kuni in general's economy. There could be a big boon if things work out well here."

No genin he knew of had an S-rank mission to their record. And all he had to do was go to some cool new place that already had people and explore it and its creatures a bit? It was a no-brainer. This was the kind of stuff that legends were made of.

"Tsunade-baachan, I'll have that place all mapped out for you twice over in no time!" Naruto said with full confidence, a grin stretching across his face to convey his excitement, "There won't be anything you won't know about this place, I can guarantee you that!"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, holding up a scroll with Naruto's exact mission specs more or likely within it, "So you accept the mission?"

It wasn't even worth asking, as Naruto couldn't have grabbed the scroll from her fast enough, thoughts of glory dancing through his head. Maybe if he did something groundbreaking they'd make him Hokage the second he came back? No, that was a child's fantasy… they'd just put him in line to take over when Tsunade stepped down… for sure. No doubt in his mind.

With the speed he took the mission scroll, Tsunade shook her head at the boy, "I'll take that as a yes." Naruto nodded rapidly and made to open the scroll until Tsunade loudly cleared her throat, "Don't open that here." The blonde boy stopped and stared at her confusedly, forcing her to explain, "This is an S-rank mission. Top secret. You really shouldn't even be getting a scroll in the first place, but you're just a genin and word of mouth isn't that reliable for you. Don't open that until you're on the ship to leave or until you arrive at your location."

Oh, of course. That made sense. S-rank missions were super important and exact specifics of them were clandestine by nature. Kakashi had told him and the rest of Team 7 that each one of his that he had undertaken in the past were need-to-know only for those that absolutely needed to know. He couldn't even tell them about any of the missions since they weren't relevant to their survival.

"I won't let you down Tsunade-baachan." Naruto said with conviction in his voice and determination in his eyes, "You can definitely count on me for this. But… why did you choose me in the first place? Why not someone else?"

"It's very simple when you think about it Naruto." Tsunade said with a smile on her face as she decided to explain her reasoning, "You have a summoning contract with the toads and you've got a good rapport with the boss summon Gamabunta. Summons are rare, and you're one of the few in the village with experience when it comes to dealing with… how should I say, difficult creatures. You're also pretty good at establishing relationships with people that are willing to give you a chance. Both of those things are going to be very important for this."

So she was basically telling Naruto, in his own mind of course, that he was the man and that he was the only one appropriate for this incredible mission. Oh he knew Tsunade loved him and recognized his special set of skills. All the yelling and arguments had to be her way of testing his mettle all of that time. Kami, he loved that old lady… her and her ever-present transformation that made her look young.

"This is going to be so cool!" Naruto shouted, jumping and pumping a fist into the air, "Alright, I'm gonna start packing right now!" He told Tsunade before turning to run out of the office and the building altogether.

Tsunade looked after him with a smile as he disappeared from her sight, "Good luck brat. I'll leave Jiraiya to deal with the fallout later since this was his stupid idea in the first place."


(A Few Days Later – Port on the Shores of Hi no Kuni)

Three days of preparation for his trip and two days of travelling across the country by his lonesome led Naruto to a ship in the harbor that had been requested to take Naruto with them on their voyage to this new place. Apparently they wanted to set out to make their own bit of fortune trading goods as well. And Konoha was footing the bill for taking Naruto across the ocean as well so the crew and captain gladly took the boy onboard.

"This is kind of exciting." Naruto said to himself, leaning over the side of the ship with a huge grin on his face as the horns of the ship went off, signifying their departure, "I've never been on a ship by myself before." He then started chuckling, "I can't wait to get there. I wonder what it's like. Nobody in Konoha's gonna know but me though."

"…And me too."

Hearing the familiar voice that came from directly behind him, Naruto almost fell over the edge of the ship but was caught by the back of his trousers and hauled back on deck. Naruto turned towards his savior and pointed accusingly at him, "Ero-sennin! What are you doing here?"

Ignoring Naruto's fully extended arm and index finger, Jiraiya lowered the boy's hand and gave him a deadpan look, "You thought that Tsunade was just going to stick you on a boat and send you off to a place you don't know the first thing about… by yourself?"

An indignant snort came from Naruto who took offense to that question, "Hey, I'm a survivor Ero-sennin. I'm tough. As long as these weird animal things that Tsunade-baachan wants me to check out aren't as big as Gaara's Shukaku I'll be alright."

"Couldn't tell you if they were or not to be honest with you." Jiraiya said, rubbing his chin, "The report was from before you were ever even born, back during the last war." A nod came from Naruto, having heard the story already from Tsunade, "You see, we sent out a few ships towards Mizu no Kuni to look for allies like Kirigakure to help us in the war against Iwagakure. The war wasn't going so hot at the time and we were in the shop for friends like no one's business. Well a nasty storm hit that lasted for forty days straight."

Naruto gulped at hearing that. Forty days? How did ships survive on the waters for more than a month in horrible conditions like that? Even for a dummy like Naruto, it didn't seem possible. He had been on a ship that had been hit with a storm for just one day in the past during a mission. It was one of the most miserable experiences of his life, "That sounds horrible Ero-sennin. What happened?"

Jiraiya lifted two fingers and continued his story, "Two of the four ships dispatched went down in the storm… but two made it through. Apparently they followed a very large, very strange silver bird that seemed to be flying through the squall with no problems at all, but eventually they lost it and just kept going in that direction as they had no compass by this point, having lost it in the storm. It took two more weeks and a near mutiny, but eventually they made it to land… unfamiliar land."

"Wow…" By this point, Naruto was sitting on the deck paying rapt attention and unknowingly feeding Jiraiya's ego as a master orator and storyteller by his interest in the tale from the past, "So what happened then?"

Jiraiya paused to draw out the tension of his tale before grinning and divulging the rest of the story, "They restocked and went home." Naruto's reaction of falling backwards hard on the deck prompted Jiraiya to burst out in laughter, "Yeah, apparently the people there had never heard of Konohagakure, any kind of war, or even the Elemental Nations in general. So while they amassed the money in that currency to restock on everything there was quite a little bit of exploring done… by one person more than others, and apparently the animals that Tsunade's sending you to gather info on were revealed. Minato wouldn't shut up about it when he got back. Kushina had to hit him to make his stop."

"Minato?" Naruto said questioningly with a curious tilt of his head, "Who's that supposed to be?"

Fighting the urge to palm his face, Jiraiya poked Naruto on the top of the head thrice, "The Yondaime Hokage kid." Naruto's eyes went wide and Jiraiya grinned, "Yep, the last guy from Konoha or even Hi no Kuni in general to go all the way out to where we're going just so happened to be your favorite Hokage."

What a mindblower. So he was literally walking in the footsteps of his hero. That was so absurdly awesome, he couldn't wait to brag back to his friends in Konoha about what he was doing, "Yeah… did I die when Tsunade-baachan flicked me through that door last week because this mission is totally heaven-sent."

The kid liked what he was hearing so far, and that warmed Jiraiya's heart. That Naruto was so fired up to be doing something associated with the Yondaime Hokage. So Jiraiya figured to keep stoking the flame, "This was back before he took the seat though, obviously. And he couldn't write a report for shit. He had all of those stories in his head but he wasn't exactly the best at expressing them or writing them out. No one knew what the hell he was talking about. I guess eloquent communication couldn't be passed down from teacher to pupil eh?"

"So wait. Why are these guys going then?" Naruto asked, looking around at the ship full of sailors that were busy making sure the early stages of the voyage went smoothly, "Can't they trade in the Elemental Nations easier than this?"

One of the younger sailors with short brown hair wearing a bandanna on his head heard Naruto and let out a small laugh, "Yeah, we probably could. But it's kind of supposed to be safer too because of the lack of pirates and shinobi villages and everything. The captain's done this trip four times over the last fifteen years and he loves the place. I think he'd live there if there wasn't so much interest back home in goods from this new place. I've never been, but I've heard about it and I'm really excited myself."

Only four times in fifteen years? Really? That didn't sound right, "Well is this place really that hard to find?"

"Nah." The young sailor said, pointing towards the front of the ship, "Just head east, east, east. That's what the captain says. Allllll the way east." He said, drawing out the 'l's, "It's kind of easy, it's just really far and there's no place to restock or rest until we get there."

Something in the back of Naruto's mind was just prodding at him to ask the most obvious question present, "Now when you say far…" Naruto started to say, furrowing his brow in though, "Exactly how far do you mean? What exactly is far when you're talking about this place?"

"Let's see…" The sailor said, tapping his chin in thought as he seemed to be doing math in his head, "If we're blessed with good weather and fair winds going our way we should get there in sixty days give or take."

"Oh." Naruto said, nodding in understanding before it took a bit for what was just said to sink in fully, "Wait, what? Sixty days! That's like two months-!"

"-If we're lucky!" The sailor said cheerfully before returning to his work on the deck, leaving Naruto with a quite bewildered and gobsmacked look on his face that Jiraiya wished he had a camera for.

"Two months…" Naruto said in a haunted voice before turning to look desperately over the serenely moving waves, "Oh man… what am I going to do for two whole months on a freaking ship? This sucks."

"Ahem." Clearing his throat, Jiraiya made his presence felt once again to speak up, "Even though you technically could do it now that we're at sea, I think you should wait until we land to open and read your mission scroll from Tsunade. You have to burn S-rank mission orders and commit them to memory immediately after reading them for privacy purposes. Do you really think you're going to remember your exact orders for two months of looking at nothing but water?"

Naruto grimaced at the thought and shook his head, "Good point. I'm not risking that mess, dattebayo."

Clapping his hands once in a positive manner, Jiraiya then placed an arm around Naruto's shoulder, "I think I should bring up the fact that now would be a perfect time for me to get cracking on whipping your scrawny ass into shape. Agreed?" A grin threatened to split Naruto's face as Jiraiya ruffled his hair, "Now since there are no women here this is all about you, and no one else but you has my full attention. I want you to give me one-hundred percent!"

"You've got it Ero-sennin!"

"…Also, do not destroy parts of the ship!"

"Um… you've got it Ero-sennin!"

"…I will also require periodic viewings of your Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Jutsu) and monthly viewings of your Haremu no Jutsu (Harem Jutsu)!"

"Not a chance in hell!"

"*sigh*…I flew too close to the sun and got burned."


(Two and a Half Months Later)

It got hot while out at sea. Warmer than Naruto had even been used to in the usually very nice temperature that always existed in Hi no Kuni. Out there he couldn't wear his jacket anymore because it was so thick. He had to switch to his lighter clothes to cool down. Also the fact that Jiraiya had almost destroyed his favorite jacket contributed to his change.

He still wore his blue shinobi sandals and his Konoha headband, but now he wore orange shorts instead of his trousers, kunai pouch still attached to his right thigh. He wore an orange sleeveless zip-up vest with a high collar, and underneath that he had on a blue short-sleeved shirt in addition to the white tape he wore around his wrists.

Taking a break from his training, Naruto had climbed up one of the masts to get a good view of his surroundings, sticking to it just underneath the crow's nest with one hand and one foot as he had momentarily borrowed a pair of binoculars from the person in the crow's nest to get a good look around. The young blonde let out a loud yawn when he spotted something on the horizon, "Oh hey. Yo Haruo! Do you see that?"

The bandanna wearing sailor that Naruto had met on his first day aboard rolled his eyes and shook his head amusedly at his younger shinobi friend, "Well seeing as how you just now spotted whatever it is you're seeing and you have my binoculars I'll wager a guess that it's way too far for me to see without them… so no, I can't see anything."

"Smartass…" Naruto muttered before throwing the binoculars back up to Haruo, "Here, check it out. Am I seeing things again or what?"

Catching his seeing device back, Haruo placed them to his eyes and looked through them, grinning when he located what Naruto had thought he had seen, "For once Little Spike you aren't losing your shit." He said, leaning over and giving Naruto a good-natured ruffle of his hair that got Naruto to growl at him. Haruo chuckled before cupping his hands to his mouth to shout to everyone else on the ship, "Land ho! Land ho! Straight ahead!"

With a grin on his face, Naruto skillfully slid and jumped down the mast, finally swinging his way down on a rope pirate-style, before landing on the deck and taking off to find Jiraiya who was probably inside. Naruto ducked and dodged out of the way of the sailors, making it inside and reaching the crew's barracks where he and Naruto were granted a bunk to stay. It didn't take him long to reach the large white-haired man who was laying in bed fully-clothed but looking under the weather for whatever reason.

"Ero-sennin!" Naruto said, the twelve year old shaking Jiraiya to get his attention, "Come on, get your lazy old butt up. Up and at 'em, let's go already!"

"Is that you Naruto." Jiraiya said, rolling over in his bed to face Naruto with squinted eyes, smiling weakly once he got sight of him, "Hey kid… *cough* sorry, but I don't think ol' Jiraiya's going to be with you too much longer."

Why did he look so out of it? He didn't understand, he had just seen Jiraiya that morning and he had been doing just fine, "What are you talking about Ero-sennin? Stop messing around and get up already. Just get up." Naruto shook Jiraiya again, a bit of fear creeping into his voice.

"*cough* It's no good kid. My time… ah, it's too late."

"What are you talking about? Tell me already! If there's something you need we can get it! What do you need?"

"I need…"


"I need…"

"Come on and say it already! You're not dying on me you quitter!"

Jiraiya shut his eyes fully, looking serene and near a peaceful death before his eyes snapped open and a lecherous look overtook his features, "I need a lady! A fine one! A total knockout! I'm talking a perfect ten here brat!" He shouted, jumping to his feet and scaring the hell out of Naruto with his speed, "Two months and some change, are you kidding me? A man like the insatiable sexy Jiraiya hasn't gone two months without contact with the most luscious of the fairer sex since he first found his passion in life! I'm going through withdrawal! If I don't see the finest of ladies and soon I'm gonna pop! I'll die of blue balls kid!"

"I will murder you!" Naruto yelled, jumping up and beginning to throttle Jiraiya with his bare hands, "All of that dramatic, 'my time is up' crap because you haven't gotten your rocks off in two months! Damn you to the depths of hell old man! I came down here to tell you that we're almost at land!"

"Land?" Jiraiya said, completely ignoring the fact that Naruto was choking him as if it wasn't even happening despite Naruto's best efforts to cut off his supply of oxygen, "Land means beaches, beaches means swimsuits, swimsuits means bikinis, bikinis means WOMEN!" He couldn't have grabbed Naruto by the back of his collar fast enough as he threw him away and grabbed his telescope from inside his vest, "I'm coming ladies! These eyes will appreciate your lovely sights and then some!" He then disappeared onto the deck by way of a Shunshin.

Naruto pulled himself off of the bed that he had been thrown onto and held his head, "Damn pervert…"


Naruto stepped off of the ship alongside Jiraiya after they had made port, Naruto had to keep a hold on the man like he was a dog on a leash to keep him from ditching Naruto for the nearest pair of boobs in a swimsuit that walked by them, "Where the hell are we?" The young blonde asked, looking around. If this was the place he was meant to explore it was awfully small wasn't it? It was just an island.

The place was a total beach resort town. Lots of places for tourists to spend money (But Naruto's money from the Elemental Nations was no good there), centered entirely around the seaside where the prettiest views were, the best hotels, the best stores, everything.

But at the middle of the island there was a volcano. What, were these people completely nuts to live that close to an active volcano? What was wrong with them? That was just entirely unsafe all around.

Sick of wandering around not knowing what was what, Naruto sighed and finally decided to suck up his pride and ask for some kind of help. The closest person he could find was a rather pretty lady wearing a bikini top and a long skirt around her waist with sandals on her feet, "Excuse me miss." Naruto said, tapping her on the back to get her attention as she was talking to other women, "Could I ask you some questions really quick?"

Turning around to face him, the lady looked down and gave Naruto a smile, as did the others she had been speaking with. Meanwhile Jiraiya had gotten out of their field of vision and happened to be jotting things down in his notebook. Either that or he was doodling what he thought they looked like with their skirts off, "Well yes sweetie, I can try. What do you need?"

Oh, well that was easy. In the Elemental Nations no one really liked being talked to by a stranger, especially by him, so this was a very welcome change. Naruto returned her smile tenfold and spoke up, "Well I was just wondering where I am. See, me and my sensei came here on a ship from a place really far away called the Elemental Nations… but nobody ever told me what this town was called or even what this country was called."

"Hmm, I've never heard of any Elemental Nations." The woman said, getting equally befuddled shrugs from her companions, "Well I can answer your questions though. Right now you're on Cinnabar Island. It's a part of the country of Kanto."

"Kanto and Cinnabar Island…" Naruto said, testing the sound of the places in his mouth before nodding and committing them to memory, "Okay, cool. Thanks a lot oneesan, that helped a lot. Now maybe I can start my mission." He waved goodbye to the women and turned on his heels to run off and explore the place a bit.

The ladies all waved back at him as he got further and further away, "That little kid was so cute." One of the women gushed once Naruto was out of sight.

"I know, I just wanted to pet those marks on his cheeks, just like whiskers."

At this point Jiraiya made his presence known, seeing an opening present that a blind man couldn't have missed, "I'd like to thank you ladies for helping out my beloved student the way you did." He said smoothly before placing a hand over his heart, "He and I are foreigners, visiting this land for the first time. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart I'd like to thank you for being so kind to him."

"It was no problem." One of the girls said brightly, letting Jiraiya put an arm around her shoulder, "He was the cutest thing I've ever seen. My friend's Jigglypuff didn't have anything on him at all." In response one of the women puffed her cheeks out indignantly.

Meanwhile Jiraiya's brain took a second to focus on something else, 'Jigglypuff? What in the world?' Then he realized that these women were comfortable with his being there… and Naruto had left him alone. Finally, 'Oh that can wait until later… there are more important things to worry about at the moment.' "Ladies. I'm sorry, I never introduced myself. My student, the one you just spoke to, his name is Uzumaki Naruto."

"Aww…" They all said at once, remembering the orange-clad preteen they had just met barely even three minutes ago, "Even his name is cute."

"Yes… yes… but then there's me." Jiraiya said, thanking the heavens that Naruto could leave an impression. And now it was time for the knockout, 'You girls are never going to forget this one!' He thought to himself before breaking out into a spontaneous one-legged hopping dance on one leg, "Even the entire ocean's width and depth cannot contain my might! No horizon is too far for these experienced eyes to see the end of!"

By now he had not only the full attention of the awe-stricken women, he had the attention of multiple passersby as well. All that was left was the finish!

Jiraiya bit his thumb to draw blood and made his hand-seals that were instinctual at this point, "From the land of the elements he has come to share his greatness abroad! This is the Grand Toad Sage, Jiraiya, at your service!" He finished with a flourish, slamming his palm onto the ground.

But nothing happened.

After a second, Jiraiya lifted his hand off of the ground and stared at it, "What the-?" He repeated the final process and slammed his palm on the ground again, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Jutsu)!" Again, nothing, 'Oh this could potentially be really bad.'

"What do you think he's doing?"

"I don't know. He said he was foreign, so maybe it's some kind of native greeting dance."

"Well it's nice to meet you too Jiraiya!"

Well it didn't work the way he had hoped, but the women still found him interesting. Too bad for once Jiraiya's mind was not on the women, but on his totally failed attempt at summoning a toad, 'Oh this is bad, this is bad, this is bad…'

Nothing short of a topless beach could get his mind off of this little dilemma.


(With Naruto – Elsewhere on Cinnabar Island)

"Erm…" Naruto grunted, walking around and scratching his head, "Crap I'm totally lost. And I lost Ero-sennin to top it all off." Oh well, it wasn't that big of a deal either way. All he had to do to solve either problem was to get to the outside of the island and just run around until he found the right port or found the right spot on the beach where Jiraiya was perving on women.

Right now he was trying to get his lay of the land. Eventually he'd have to go back to the ship, but for the time being he was going to explore around and see what he could see. Eventually Naruto came upon a big, big house. A mansion if you would. That was weird. The entire place was a tourist trap. Who actually lived in a normal house in a place like this? It was enclosed by a big brick wall so it had to be important at one time or another.

Actually, once he got a closer look at it, it was revealed to be quite badly damaged from a fire. So why was it still standing then? Maybe it was culturally relevant or something, he didn't know. He wasn't even from that country. Hell, he wasn't from that continent in general.

"Look at this thing."

"Yeah, what's it doing out here? Is it wild?"

"No way, then it would be inside of the mansion, not here outside. It's even outside of the gate."

"It looks really beaten up though."

Naruto followed the voices and rounded a corner to find a group of kids his age give or take a year standing in front of the iron gate looking down at something. Jogging up to them, Naruto saw them looking at a dog.

It was a little dog, a puppy. A puppy with bright orange fur that had black stripes. On its chest/belly, tail, and the little tuft of hair on top of its head the fur was a cream color. It had two claws on its front feet and no claws on its back feet. Much like he had overheard it looked quite beaten up, like it had been in a fight recently that had gone bad for it. None of the kids had sticks or were tormenting it so it wasn't them.

"Hey, what's with this dog?" Naruto asked as he reached the group of kids. The puppy was laying down on the ground its eyes staring daggers at Naruto and the kids, but otherwise doing nothing but resting, "It's weird. What kind of breed is it?" He'd never seen a dog like that in his life.

"It's a Growlithe man." One of the kids said, "Tons of them live in that mansion right there. Nobody really goes in there though, it's dangerous. You've got to be a real badass trainer to take a chance on going in there."

"For sure." Another boy said, "This one's kind of small though. I think it's young. Why's it out here though?"

"It's just a baby." Naruto said, moving closer to it as the little dog growled softly, "I've never heard of a Growlithe-breed dog before. Are there a lot of them in Kanto?" He asked, slowly moving towards the thing and not breaking eye contact so that he didn't spook it. At least it wasn't a cat.

He hated cats. Damn Tora. Damn Tora to the depths of hell.

"You can find them from place to place, but the only place you can find any on Cinnabar is in that mansion."

"Cool." Naruto said with a smile. So a breeder either lived in that mansion or kept these dogs in there, "Kind of like an Inuzuka eh?" He cracked as he got close enough to reach out to the Growlithe in an attempt to pet it, "Hey. How are you doing? My name's Naruto. You okay buddy?"

"*growl* Growl!"

Growlithe barked out and let loose a barrage of fiery sparks from its mouth, hitting Naruto in the face and knocking him on his backside as he rolled around on the ground holding the spot where he took the attack. The kids all jumped back, fearing that they had just watched someone get maimed, but Naruto just sat up with light burns on his face, "Ow! What the hell was that?" He pointed at the Growlithe accusingly, "Did that thing just shoot bits of fire at me?"

The kids all looked at each other and shrugged. He didn't know what a Growlithe was at first so how would he have known anything else about it. He clearly hadn't seen one before, "Yeah. Growlithe's a fire-type Pokémon. That was Ember. It really is a baby then huh? It's too weak to do something bigger like a Flamethrower."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Naruto sputtered out, wiping the soot from his face and bringing the whole conversation to a halt, "What's a Pokémon? Is that what you guys call dogs in this country?"

"No! The Growlithe is a Pokémon! Keep up dude, duh!"

"Duh yourself!" Snapped Naruto with a tick mark on his head, "That's a dog. It's a weird fire-breathing dog, but I've seen weirder stuff before! I don't know what a Pokémon is. I'm not from Kanto."

All three young boys looked at each other and then back at Naruto as if to ask if her were really serious. Naruto was starting to get tired of the uneasy silence and his thoughts strayed back to the weird fire dog that was staring him down still.

Naruto got close to it again and crouched down in front of it, locking his bright blue eyes with the Growlithe's own and staring it down without flinching. Ember be damned.

But then all of a sudden, Naruto remembered the words that Tsunade had given him on Kanto before he had ever even left Konoha two months ago.

"But from the first trip a report came that there were many strange animals with high combat capabilities in this place."

Well breathing fire counted as high combat capabilities by any shinobi's standards and then the dominoes started falling into place for Naruto, "Oi." He said, getting the attention of the kids observing him and the Growlithe, "So do all of these 'Pokémon' have powers like this guy here?"

"Kind of." One of the boys answered, scratching his scalp as he thought of how to answer, "I mean, there's all kinds of different Pokémon. A Growlithe is just one species. There are flying birds like Pidgeys, and there are the Tentacools that you can always find just off-shore. But they do all have abilities and stuff." It was hard to fathom that there was someone that didn't know about Pokémon. But here he stood, crouching down in front of an ornery, injured Growlithe, staring it down like he didn't just get his face singed moments ago.

Naruto just kept staring into the Growlithe's eyes and nodded at the answer. That was what he figured, "So do any of you know first aid to help this thing out?" He asked, getting silence as a no by default, "…Okay, well is there some kind of vet or a hospital for this thing we can go to? Those bruises and wounds look painful."

"Ah there's a Pokémon Center not too far away from here." One boy said, getting Naruto to turn his head towards him in a deadpan stare of confusion. The boy palmed his face and revised his previous response, "It's a hospital… for Pokémon… like the Growlithe puppy."

"Oh. Great." Naruto said before reaching out to pick the Growlithe up. It started growling again until the boys grabbed Naruto's arms just in time to save him from getting bit by the fire dog, "What's with this thing? Why's it still fighting when it's hurt? I'm trying to help you, you stupid mutt!"

"It's wild!" A boy said, letting go of Naruto's arm, "It's not just gonna let you pick it up stupid, no matter how hurt it is! It's territorial, and you're right in its territory. If you want to help it you're going to have to catch it."

"Right." Naruto said, cracking his knuckles before moving in to pick up the Growlithe again, "Which is what I'm trying to do. It's not like it's running away."

"No damn it! It's like you're three or something…" A boy that had grown impatient with Naruto's lack of general Pokémon knowledge grabbed Naruto's wrist and opened his hand, placing a small orb into it, "Here, use that, a Poke Ball." He said, pressing on the little button in the middle of it to make the ball suddenly expand to fit Naruto's hand neatly.

A black horizontal border separated the orb into two conjoined segments; a red top half and a white bottom half. Naruto tossed it up and down in his hand experimentally before a sudden shout from the same boy jolted him out of his own world, "Throw the damn thing already!" He shouted before regaining his temper and explaining further, "Usually you have to weaken a Pokémon before you're guaranteed to catch it in a Poke Ball, but this Growlithe is already really hurt so that's not necessary. So just throw this at it and that should be that."

Taking in all of this information and hoping he didn't forget any of it later as it sounded very useful, Naruto locked eyes with the Growlithe that was staring back at him just the same as always, "Alright. I'm gonna get you better in no time!" Naruto said as he threw the ball and hit the Growlithe right on top of the head, bouncing off into the air and hovering for a moment.. Right before Naruto's eyes the Growlithe seemed to be converted into energy as it got sucked right into the ball that closed and sealed shut, falling to the ground, "Whoa." He said as he walked over to pick it up.

"Wait!" A boy held Naruto back as the ball started rolling back and forth, the button in the center flashing red for a moment before a small noise emitted from the object, "Okay, now you can pick it up. That's your Growlithe now."

Shrugging it off, Naruto walked over and picked up the Poke Ball before turning to the boy that gave it to him, "Hey, wait. Why'd you give it to me? You could have just done that yourself."

"I didn't want to catch it for myself just to take it to the Pokémon Center. I can't take care of a Growlithe, I already have a Pokémon and I'm not a trainer. I'm not strong enough to really have more."

"So this Growlithe is mine now?" Naruto said questioningly, "To take care of and all of that?"

"Yep, you can use it to compete in battles, fight with wild Pokémon to try and catch those too, or you can just hang out with it. It's yours. You can even let it go later for good if you want to." The boy that had spoken then pointed into a direction, "Uh, turn down that road and keep going until you reach the main street. From there head west. The Pokémon Center isn't far from main street, you can see it as clear as day; a big red roof and a big 'P' on it. All Pokémon Centers have a big 'P' on them. Good luck." All of the boys smiled at the weird kid they had just met as he seemed to still be taking all of this in.

Still looking at the Poke Ball that housed his new Growlithe, Naruto finally let a smile grow on his face, "You're mine to take care of Growlithe. You and me are going to be a kickass Ninja/Pokémon team, dattebayo." He looked at the kids that had helped him out and grinned at them, "Thanks guys, hope we meet up again some day." With that, he jumped towards the closest rooftop and began heading in the previously indicated direction.

The three boys just stared after Naruto with wide eyes as if they hadn't really seen what had just occurred, "Did that guy just jump fifteen feet off of the ground?" The other two nodded, "Who the hell was that guy?"

"I think he said his name was Naruto."

"Weird… but that was seriously cool."


(A Few Minutes Later – Cinnabar Island Main Street)

Late afternoon denizens of Cinnabar Island were treated to the sight of a blonde kid jumping rooftop gaps like cracks in the sidewalk as Naruto travelled skyway-style to the Pokémon Center that he eventually came to a stylish landing in front of. He looked around, wondering why everyone was staring at him until he remembered that there weren't any ninja in Kanto. An embarrassed blush marked his cheeks as he walked through the automatic doors.

It was a big place on the inside with linoleum floors, lots of planters set for aesthetic effect, many chairs as people seemed to be waiting around and chatting. Food as well as tons of people were eating while they were talking and waiting. Naruto's stomach growled loudly, but he ignored that, walking to what he assumed was the front desk. Behind it was a cheerful looking woman with pink hair that was fixed in a style that had two loops going down the back. On her head sat nurse's hat and she wore an apron dress with a pink shirt underneath it, "Hello. Can I help you?"

"Yes." Naruto said, fishing his only Poke Ball out of his pocket and holding it out, "Uh, I have a Growlithe here, it's pretty hurt. Can you help it out? I found it outside of that mansion that's closer to the middle of town."

"You went to Pokémon Mansion?" The nurse asked Naruto as she took his Poke Ball and put it on some kind of machine, "That's rather dangerous." She saw Naruto's eyes locked firmly on the machine and gave him a reassuring smile, "Oh, this is just for a basic check over your Growlithe." The machine began to kick on and an outline of the Growlithe's frame came onto a screen for her and Naruto to see, "Hmm, Growlithe around here and especially in the mansion aren't this low level. This one is only a level 6." She turned to see a blank expression on Naruto's face and giggled, "A newbie are you?"

Naruto grinned sheepishly, "Yeah, I don't really know… well, anything about Pokémon. I just captured this Growlithe because it was hurt and wouldn't let me take it here for help."

"That's very kind of you." The Nurse said before turning to call out to something, "Chansey!" A pink egg-shaped creature with stubby arms, stubby legs, a short tail, a pouch on its front with an egg in it, and three hair-looking growths on each side of its head came out to take Naruto's Growlithe's Poke Ball to another room, "Not to worry. Chansey will have your Growlithe all fixed up in no time. But in the meantime, here." She reached behind the desk and handed Naruto a small guide, "If you don't know much about caring for Pokémon or Pokémon in general you should read this while you wait."

"Ugh… reading." Naruto said with a grimace before resigning himself to his fate, "Okay. Thank you…"

"You can call me Nurse Joy."

"Ah. Thank you Nurse Joy." Naruto said, before pointing to himself, "I'm Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto. Nice to meet you." Nurse Joy gave Naruto a small bow as Naruto walked off to find an open place to sit down and wait for his Pokémon to be healed. He picked a spot on a long couch and cracked the book open, figuring he should at least know how to keep from either killing his Growlithe or getting himself killed, "The elemental types of Pokémon… water, fire, grass, ground…"


(Hours Later)

A sleeping Naruto, leaning back with his head hanging over the back of his seat with his book placed over his face, snored away until the back of his chair took a kick that stirred Naruto from his slumber. The book slid off of Naruto's face to find that it was Jiraiya, "Oh Ero-sennin. I wondered where you went." He said before yawning, "Is my Growlithe okay yet?"

"I'm assuming that's a Pokémon." Jiraiya said, getting a nod from Naruto, "You have one already?" Another nod, "Kami kid, we haven't even been in the country for a whole twelve hours yet and you're picking up the wildlife." Naruto grinned cheekily, getting Jiraiya to roll his eyes, "I've been looking for you all day. I've got something important to tell you on the way back to the ship. We're setting off."

"Okay." Naruto said, stashing his book into his pocket and jumping up from his chair to head back over to the desk where he had been before his nap, "One sec, I've got to get my Pokémon back from Nurse Joy." Bounding up to the desk with a big grin, he spoke to the nurse from earlier, "Is my Growlithe alright?"

Once again, Nurse Joy giggled at Naruto's demeanor before handing him a particular Poke Ball, "Yes. It just needed some light treatment and some rest. It's a male Growlithe by the way in case it mattered to you."

It didn't, but it was good to know either way. Naruto nodded and looked up at Joy with his big bright eyes, "Thanks a lot. How much money do I owe you?" He asked before something set in and he frowned heavily, "…Because I don't have any money…"

"It's free. Pokémon Centers provide a free service for trainers and their Pokémon." Joy informed him with a bright smile, "If your Pokémon ever need help you can bring them to any center in Kanto and they'll assist you. That was in the book."

Naruto's face turned to one of embarrassment at that topic being brought up, "I… didn't get that far?"

"How far did you get?"

"How far was the part that you're talking about?"

"…The tenth page."

"Oh. Well, I didn't get that far."


"What do you mean we can't summon?" Naruto asked as he and Jiraiya walked back to the ship in the sunset, "I don't get it." He simply had to see for himself as he bit his own thumb to draw blood and did the hand-seals before slamming his hand on the ground, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Jutsu)!" Nothing happened of course, "Aah! Can I still do my other jutsu?" Naruto wondered in panic as he formed his cross finger seal, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)!" In a puff of smoke, a Naruto clone appeared at the walking genin's side getting both Naruto and the clone to sigh in relief before it dispelled.

"Yes our other jutsu work, we just can't summon." Jiraiya informed him. Things weren't as grim as he first figured, he just couldn't summon some amphibious backup. But what was with the block on summoning? He had to figure this out and he had a way as to how he'd pull that off in a short while. He just needed to test something first once they reached the Kanto mainland.

While temporarily losing his connection to the toads was a major blow, Naruto had made a new friend that day that he hadn't introduced yet, "Oh, my Pokémon. You haven't met him yet. Here, check it out." He said, reaching into his pocket to pull out the Poke Ball that he threw forward, with a popping noise and in a stream of white energy Growlithe appeared, sitting on his haunches and looking at Naruto and Jiraiya curiously, looking a hundred times healthier now, "Hey buddy, are you still all mean like you were at the mansion?" Naruto asked, stooping down again.

The puppy Pokémon's response was to jump at Naruto in order to knock him to the ground and begin licking his face, getting Naruto to laugh and try to push the fire breathing dog away from him.

"A dog." Jiraiya said, staring at the scene before him. Eventually he just chalked this up to just another day in the life and started walking back to the ship, "Come on brat, don't fall behind and get lost because those sailors don't wait. You and your mutt get into gear so we can get going."

Naruto and the Growlithe stopped their interaction with Naruto looking at the dog and rubbing him on the head, "It's alright boy. That's just Ero-sennin. He's all cranky right now because he hasn't seen boobs in two months and he had to spend all day at a beach worrying about summoning the toads instead of being a perv." He couldn't really blame him though. No toad summoning, was troubling news. He didn't know that there were places where he couldn't summon. What made Cinnabar Island so special about it?

But with the Growlithe, he committed the name 'Ero-sennin' to memory when it came to the big man with white hair that seemed to be friends with his trainer. And why did the back of Ero-sennin's long spiky hair look like it was teasing him? It was thoroughly pissing the Growlithe off and he decided to do something about it as he charged right at Jiraiya's backside, mouth open.

"Growwwwlithe! *snap*"

"Aah! The damn dog bit me in my ass!"

Naruto got up off of the ground and started running after Jiraiya and his new Pokémon before they lost him in the streets, "I guess I'll call you Ranbouen (Violent Blaze)…" He said, speaking mostly to himself as he sped up to catch up to his teacher and his aggressive Growlithe.

Naruto's Current Pokémon Team

Ranbouen (Growlithe): Lvl 6
Attacks: Bite (Dark), Roar (Normal), Ember (Fire).

New story born from the spontaneity of a random brawl. See? All those shots I routinely take to the head are good for something besides killing my brain cells quickly. I always knew my fighting was constructive instead of destructive.

So wait until the next few chapters for things to pan out and be explained clearer for those that are confused, though I don't know what there is to be confused about aside from the obvious mystery.

This story isn't really one to take seriously, as I'm saying that there won't be many dark tones and whatnot. I'm not going to try to make this something it's not because come on dude, it's Pokemon. It's just a story for fun so that I don't burn out writing the more serious stuff. That's all I wanted to say about this.

Later peeps, Kenchi out.