iParty with The Good Wife, an iCarly/The Good Wife crossover.

Can Alicia Florrick & her reputable Lockhart/Gardner crew defend Sam Puckett & the iCarlies when Sam is accused of tying up a boy at a party and violently raping him?

Dictated but not read. I just wrote (spoke) this purely for fun. First fic I ever wrote. Stop judging me! LMAO. They need to bring Miri back on the Good Wife, all the other guest stars come back...

-Scene 1-

[Elevator, Lockhart/Gardner building. Sam & Carly]

"This is so annoying," Sam moans, "why did we have to go all the way to stupid Chicago for this? Like what, there aren't lawyers in Seattle?"

"Sam, this is serious!" Carly chastizes, "Spencer facebooked some of the kids he went to law school with and they said this was the #1 best law firm to go to... out of the ones we can afford... without any money."

-Scene 2 -

[Office of Diane Lockhart, Lockhart/Gardner building. Diane and Alicia are seated.]

Diane begins, "Alicia, you're off the Darrelson divorce. I need you to take on a pro bono for some kids from Seattle."

Alicia wore her usual poker face. "Kids? How young are we talking here?"

"Teenagers, they're from...'iCarly,' it's an internet program they run independently from where they live." Diane briefly digresses, getting a far off look in her eyes, "Jesus, when I was their age I could barely make spaghetti, and they're running one of the most popular sites on the web. Anyway this could mean something very big for us, so we need you to win this case."

"Trying to hook 'em on litigation early?" Alicia jibed quizically. "Looking to capture the youth market, a lot of money to be made in underage cases? Trust funds or something?"

"Hahaha," Diane gave her characteristic chuckle, "I *wish* it were something which made that much sense. It's for the Holden account. Apparently he's quite the fan of these kids and we're trying to land his business. Quite a few firms looking to grab him but he has assured me that if we get iCarly off, we're his firm. A veritable treasure trove of billable hours. I don't need to tell you how much we need this. Only thing is, Alicia, it's a rape case."

"A rape case? Please tell me they didn't do it," Alicia sighs.

"I don't know, but does it matter? You need to win either way."

-Scene 3-

[Office of Alicia Florrick, Lockhart/Gardner building. Alicia sits at her desk with Sam and Carly in front of her]

"Hi," Carly said, bright but controlled.

She glances at Sam out of the corner of her eyes but there is only silence. "Be nice," Carly urges under her breath as she jabs Sam with her elbow. "Hi," Sam says with languid sarcasm.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Alicia Florrick, I'll be your attorney. I hear your webshow is quite good, all the more reason to protect your good name. First thing's first, what happened?"

"This little hobknocking son of a bitch says I touched him while we were at this party. His stupid ass was drunk, I would never touch that fucking Skeezball in a million years. He's just doing it to embarass me!" Sam blurted out with visible anger, apparently exchanging timidness for rage.

"Okay..." Alicia tests, cautiously, "well if that's true then what evidence is the state using to prosecute? You have to understand that for me to win this case, I need to know the truth. Any minuscule mistelling of the facts will be exploited by our opposition."

Sam just stared, looking disgusted, or was it aprehension in her expression? So Carly spoke up in her most diplomatic tone of voice "Three other people say they saw Sam hitting on this guy all night at the party. The cops say they found DNA evidence or something. Sam's DNA."

"Alright, we'll see what we can do," states Alisha. Carly thanks her and she exits with Sam.

Alicia dials a number on her cellphone. "Kalinda? I need you to find out everything you can about the rape case involving Samantha Puckett. We need anything to show that she didn't commit the act."

-Scene 4-

[Office of Kerry Agos, State's Attorney building. Kerry at his desk, Kalinda sitting before him. They're engaged in discussion]

"So you'd like me to go ahead and help you with this. Even though I'm the ASA trying this case?" Kerry states with exaserbation.

"It would be nice, yeah," says Kalinda smoothly, unaffected.

"Kalinda, this girl raped a kid. Tied him up and raped him. He has marks all over his wrists from where she tied the knots."

"And how do you know it was her who did it? It could have been anyone at this party."

"Well aside from the *three people* who say she was pestering the kid with sexual advances at the party, there's also the little fact that a strand of Samantha Puckett's hair was found on the rope that tied him up," Kerry spoke with pointed vitrol. "She's a bad," he pauses forcefully, "kid. It's as simple as that. She has a record. Been to Juvenile Hall twice. Long history of violence. Prone to outbursts when she doesn't get what she wants. It's an open and shut case."

"So just because the girl has a record, that means she did it? The kids defending the accusation are all friends of the plaintiff. Several party guests attest to the accuser being drunk. You don't think that holds water?"

"Listen to what you're saying, Kalinda. Being drunk doesn't make you immune to being raped. Now, I have work to do and you have no reason to be here, so please show yourself out."

-Scene 5-

[Best Western Hotel, Kalinda outside the door of room 3-14 where Sam & Carly are staying.]

Carly opens the door.

"Hi, Carly Shay. I'm Kalinda, I'm the investigator with Alicia's firm. Mind if I talk to the two of you for a moment?"

"Um... Sam's out, right now, she found out there's a restaurant right next to this place, hahaha. But I guess if you're working for Alicia then we can talk..."

Kalinda steps into the room, Carly sits down on the bed.

Kalinda probes "So you both were at the party, is that correct?"


"And does Sam know this kid, the one who's accusing her of rape?"

"Yeah but he's a Freshman. Just a little scutter, I think he has like a crush on her and so he's just trying to get back at her for turning him down. Sam never hit on him in her life."

"I see," Kalinda continues, but as Carly brushes her hair back behind her ear, there's a visible mark on her wrist. "Did... what happened to your wrist, Carly?"

Carly becomes nervous, timid. "My what? The wrists? There's nothing."

"Did you... were you tied up? Did something happen to you, too? Did Sam...?"

"No, no. No." Carly cuts her off, frantically. Her voice raises erratically as she blurts "I, you know, really have to take a shower. Before Sam gets back because then she'll need it and. I haven't even showered today and you have to go, okay?"

"If I could just have one more moment..."

"No," Carly says more forcefully, and shuts herself in the bathroom.

-Scene 6-

[Outside Ridgeway Secondary School, midafternoon as students are getting out. Kalinda approaches a group of students smoking pot in the parking lot.]

"Hey I'm... Kalinda," she thinks better of trying to explain why she's there and just keeps it simple, "You guys must go to some parties, right?"

"Yeah," a tall, older boys drawls, "you like to party, Kali... Kalamba?"

"Oh yeah. Love to party." She plays her part effortlessly, facetiously. "So what kind of things go on at a Ridgeway party? Not sure it's a cool enough scene for me."

"Whatever you want, shorty," another of the boys chimes in. "Whatever you need, you can get."

"I bet you guys must get tons of tail. So, uh, anybody at these parties ever do... y'know, S&M stuff? Rope play?" Kalinda continues.

"Suuure. Especially if that's what you're looking for," the first boy winks at her.

"Well hey, maybe if I'm in town for that long. So tell me, do any of you guys know that boy who's accusing Sam Puckett of rape?"

The group snickers together. The tall guy elaborates. "That dweeb? Yeah. He's such a little bitch, he could never get a girl like Sam."

"So it's not true? Then what do you think really happened?"

They share another little laugh. "Ask Freddie."

-Scene 7-

[Some time later, in Alicia Florrick's office. Kalinda is speaking to her]

"Alicia, I contacted their friend Freddie, the other kid who works on iCarly. He was reluctant to talk, but I got it out of him. Poor kid doesn't exactly have an iron will, told him I was a cop and he fessed right up. Turns out he was at that party, too. In fact, he goes to a lot of parties with them.

"So, and? Are you saying he's the reason Carly has marks?"

"No, no. I've been watching iCarly. There's something strange about the way Carly and Sam act together. Little smirks, expressions on their faces, glances towards each other that they think won't be noticable.

They're in love. what Freddie does, is act as a lookout. He makes sure nobody walks in on Carly and Sam when they're alone together."

"Alone together? So you mean...?"

-Scene 8-

[Alicia Florrick's office, Alicia is speaking with Carly]

"Carly, Sam didn't rape that boy."

"Of course not," replies Carly.

"You and Sam, you used the rope consensually? The same one that the kid later used to tie himself up and frame Sam."

"That's... ridiculous." Carly stammers.

"We talked to Freddie. We know what goes on between you and Sam, there's no reason to play dumb anymore."

Carly begins to blush. "Sam... likes to be dominant. But it's not what you think... She's caring, she's gentle. I know it doesn't seem like it. But when Sam's with me she's like a different person. The rope is just a reassurance for her. It's not violent, she just likes to know she has my... my undivided attention. That I won't try to stop her in the middle. If I get cold feet, I mean..."

"It's okay, it doesn't matter what you guys do in bed. What matters is we have a reason why Sam's hair was on that rope. All we need you to do is testify."

"Testify? No. It's out of the question. I can't do it, people can't know about me and Sam. They can't!"

"But Carly, it's cru..."

"No!" Carly walks out.

-Scene 9-

[Alicia Florrick's office. Alicia is speaking with Sam.]

"We know what happened. We know about your relationship, it's okay. Sam," she pauses for emphasis, "this is serious. We need Carly to testify that she's your girlfriend, and that you had been using the rope earlier that evening. It's the only way to win the case."

Sam stares for a moment before giving her answer. "No. I would never want to hurt Carls. She doesn't want people to know, fine. That's something I've been living with for two years, it's not something new. And I can do juvie standing on my head, Juvie is nothing. If it means protecting Carly then I'll do it with a fucking smile on my face. You think I've never fucking been to Juvie before?"

"Sam..." Alicia sighs "You're seventeen. Odds are you will be tried as an adult. That means you're not going to juvie, you're going to prison. The kid accusing you is only 14, and without Carly's testimony you'll be convicted of violently raping him.

Sam stares, her resolve unbroken, expression unfussed.

Alicia gets an indignant look on her face. "Do you know that Washington has the death penalty, Sam? The rape of a minor is one of the only crimes other than murder where prosecutors have successfully sought the death penalty.

Look Sam, you can't protect Carly with your life. I understand that this is a sensitive issue for the two of you but I don't think Carly will be happy with herself when your relationship is safely under wraps while you're at the mercy of hardened criminals in jail, or dead!

Sam's face begins to contort... a mix of fear and indignation, defiance. Conflicted.

Alicia continues, "Think of it as protecting Carly from all the guilt, and the heartbreak she would feel over losing you. This is no time for modesty, Sam. If she cares about you then she *must* testify."

Sam closes her eyes and slowly nods her head. "I'll talk to her. I guess I have to."

-Scene 10-

[They win the case. After the trial, Will and Alicia discuss it in passing, as they're leaving the court house. Will Gardner and Alicia Florrick]

"So how do you feel about representing illustrious teens?"

"Kalinda says their webshow is funny," Alicia says diplomatically.

"So what did you tell the girl to get her to testify?"
"I told them Sam would get the death penalty. She convinced Carly that it was time for their relationship to be public."

Will chuckles. "You know how unlikely that is, right? Kennedy v. Louisiana... And, I mean, she's a 17 year old girl... being accused of rape."

"I was told to win this case for them and I won it," Alicia says matter of factly, with a defensive edge to her voice.

Will chuckles again, a bit derissively. "Good job, Alicia."



While the true nature of Carly and Sam's romantic relationship was, by nessecity, revealed in court, Alicia took steps to ensure this information was shared strictly in front of the officials of the court. This knowledge did not reach the public until a year later, when Carly & Sam decided to reveal it on iCarly, under amicable circumstances. They got married shortly thereafter.


Basically follows the line of those early S2 episodes where Kerry thought he was defending the good guys but Lockhart/Gardner turned out right. Y'know, before they got all Sopranos-y and started strictly defending murderers and drug dealers and extorting people and stuff.

I watched like 50 episodes of The Good Wife in the last few weeks, so it's a whole lot more Good Wife-y than iCarly-y. But how exactly would one iCarly-up a court drama anyway? Clowns for jurors? Judge made out of cheese?

I was too amateur to fit my Alicia/Kalinda subplot into this. I want to wrtie an iStill Party With The Good Wife sequel. The concept of doing a Good Wife fic that DOESN'T include iCarly simply would not make sense to me. But I'm not sure I can come up with another iCarly scandal. Something that isn't as seedy next time, like... Nevel tries to... like, sue them or something. IDK. Happy funn. Thanks for reading! ;)