A Warrior Reawakens

A/N: Yo! Okay, okay, I know what all of you are saying. "Why in the hell are you doing another new story? Finish your old ones already!" I'm sorry but I have to write where the inspiration goes and this one is too good to pass up.

Now, I'm sure many of you are familiar with Marvel comics. If you know of Marvel comics, then you know of the comic guru Stan Lee. If you know of Stan Lee, then you may know about one of his lesser works that sadly never had a chance to become a comic after it's cartoon aired. That work my friends is Stripperella.

I know that this is where I lose the female audience and only get the attention from my perverted audience but this is an idea that I can't help but write about. Stripperella is a mix of James Bond and Batgirl as an intelligent masked secret agent that uses tools and martial arts rather than super powers. Also, this gives me a chance to just do the craziest things and let Naruto show his humorous side as well as the perverted side that Jiraiya cursed upon him.

I am going to take a lot of liberties with the series since it is defunct thanks to a selfish ex-stripper that wanted a cut thanks to Stripperella being a stage name of hers. For one, Stripperella will be more like the original idea from Stan Lee than what aired on the cartoon. This means she is a red head (something that Stan Lee has a tendency to do for female characters), he name is Exotica (Not Erotica), and is a highly intelligent woman in an odd job choice.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Stripperella or any possible Marvel characters that may appear.


It was a quite night, rather unusual for Los Angelos but in the ghettos it was a bit normal other than the random gang member. The ghetto was a tightly knit community that treated each other like their own family, thus the reason there was no single gang that lasted long in this community as the people would band together and force them out without violence. One rather unusual member of this community was a blonde man in his mid-twenties that owned the local convenience store. Despite his spiky blonde hair and his piercing blue eyes, he was a Japanese man that a lot of the community knee and enjoyed his company, this man was Naruto Uzumaki. He had appeared around a decade ago without a home or even a decent pair of clothes to call his own. He was taken in by an elderly couple that used to own the store and took it over for them when they grew too old to run it by themselves. Over the years since Naruto took over the store, it had been robbed multiple times by a few local "tough guys" that decided Naruto needed to pay them to protect his store and himself from "having an accident". Each time, Naruto simply opened the register and let them take the money. It didn't matter too much since the drawer never had more than two hundred dollars in it at one time, the rest was locked away in the safe that was only know about by Naruto and the previous owners.

As Naruto began to close the store, still serving his regulars that showed up around this time to chat or grab a few necessities, he heard the store's door be thrown open with force that only a few people would in this neighborhood. In the doorway were the same punks that had robbed him time and time again, only this time it wasn't only him in the story but a young boy that had stopped to grab a few things for his mother.

"Hey again, Mr. Uzumaki. We're just here to collect that Protection Fee that you owe us. We wouldn't want something bad to happen to this store like a fire, would we?" This came from the tall thug who was the brains of the heists, Stretch as dubbed by Naruto, about 6' 7" and a bit skinny.

"Yeah, like the boss said, it would be betta if ya jus' hand over the cash." This guy was the muscle of the group. Tiny, as Naruto had nicknamed him, was 6' and had more muscles than an entire colony of clams and the same lack of intelligence.

"Now get the money, bitch, or you'll find yourself with a few new hole to breath out of." The third and final one was the most dangerous in Naruto's opinion. This one, Twitch, was the one that always had a gun and had this look of near psychotic proportions in his eyes.

Normally this was the time of the night where Naruto would just open the drawer and then walk away from the register to let them have the money but tonight was different. Normally it was only Naruto's life on the line and it was just a minimal amount of money that would be taken but tonight it wasn't just about Naruto. There was an innocent involved that could get hurt if the thugs acted like they usually do or decided to act out.

Taking in a breath, Naruto could feel a familiar warmth travel through his body as an energy moved through his entire body. It had been many years since Naruto had used chakra in any form and, due to this, his pathways had withered and became smaller while his reserves were just as high as when he had arrived in this world. As he breathed out, Naruto jumped over the counter he had been behind and went at Twitch. He grabbed the man's armed hand at the wrist and twisted it until a snap echoed through the store and the gun fell to the ground only to be kicked away by Naruto. Using Twitch's shock, Naruto sent a knock out punch to the windpipe and then a stomp to the chest when the man fell. With the most dangerous element to the thugs down, Naruto turned his attention to the weakest, Stretch. A quick elbow to the man's unprotected gut caused the man to bend forward. Using this, Naruto wrapped his arm around the neck with the inside of his elbow at the man's throat and forced Stretch over his back and used momentum and his body as a pivot point to force the man's body to bend beyond the pain threshold to send the man into unconsciousness. Before Tiny even knew what hit him, Naruto had him firmly in a sleeper hold and unconscious from lack of oxygen.

With the three thugs taken down, Naruto walked over to the young boy. "Why don't you head home, I'm sure your mom is waiting for you to bring the milk." As the boy left without a word, Naruto turned his attention to the thugs on the floor and called the police.

Within less than ten minutes a member of the police,Officer Cole, arrived at the store. "Well Naruto, looks like you finally got those thugs that have been robbing you for the past few years. How about we go get some drinks to celebrate? I know nights like this are slow for you and its after closing time, isn't it?"

Naruto let out a sigh. Harry Cole had been one of the people that he had interacted with a lot over the years so a drink with a friend was something that a night like this probably deserved. "Fine Harry. You know the bars better than I do, you know that, so you choose the location and I'll show up."

Harry wagged his finger implying no. The man took off his blue police hat to reveal shaggy brown hair, though the very front was dyed blonde, and grinned with a gleam in his brown eyes that reminded Naruto of his old sensei and Jiraiya. "Oh no you don't. We're gonna show up to this place in style, not that beat up piece of junk you call a motorcycle. I got a friend that owns a limo service and he owes me a few favors."

Less than an hour later, Naruto found himself in a limo dressed in a white suit with a white hat on that covered most of his blonde hair, other than the two long strips of hair that flowed down the sides of his face like that of his father's from one of the few actual pictures he had seen, along with Harry Cole as the two talked back and forth. In the years that Naruto had known Harry, he had become part of the family that consisted of Harry, his wife Ella, and the twins Sarah and Sally. To the Cole family, Naruto was the younger brother/uncle of the group with volunteering to babysit Sarah and Sally when Harry and Ella needed some time to themselves or helping Ella when Harry was on a long shift in the Police Department.

As Naruto took a drag from a cigarette he was smoking, Harry let out a snicker. "Are you still smoking that 'herbal' shit, Naruto? Are you sure that isn't weed? From what I hear, weed is considered an herbal treatment as well." Sarcasm and jokes were a part of Harry...a part that Naruto wished he could get rid of with a well placed punch but sadly that had only given Harry a black eye.

"I don't know Harry. Tell you what, I'll tell you exactly what I'm smoking if you can tell me why Ella-chan can't help but look at a present and burst out laughing after looking at your immediately after? All I could hear from her was a mumble about some 'bad attempt at a surprise'." Arriving in this land and living with the now-deceased elderly couple had allowed Naruto's prankster personality to come back in full force and only more so after hanging around Harry. In truth, the cigarette was something that Tsunade had figured out for him after long missions or stressful events. With the Kyuubi sealed away inside his body, he was effected heavily by minor shifts that a normal person would hardly even bat an eyelash at. The cigarette contained calming herbs that relaxed the muscles and eased the mind, far from the effects of drugs like weed or other illegal drugs as this was something developed for a trained warrior to be able to fight at a moments notice yet still remain calm outside of combat.

Naruto saw the name of the club that they were in front of as well as the group of people that were gathered there. "The Tenderizer, Harry? You're taking me to a fucking strip bar?"

"Oh relax Naruto, you're a man aren't you?" Harry though had a grin on his face. This was how he and Naruto usually acted around each other, teasing and trying to one-up the other.

"I could ask the same about you, Harry. Are you sure the twins aren't adopted because there is no way your sorry ass could ever create two angels like those, even with Ella to block your dumbass' genes." And despite Harry's attempts, Naruto was always the winner in a battle of words between the two.

"You know what Naruto, fuck you. Seriously, just fuck you." Just the sight of the grin on Naruto's lips and Harry knew what was about to be said. "No, don't even go there Naruto. Fine, I give up." The surrender only made Naruto's grin widen.

As the two walked up to the strip club, Naruto saw Harry talk to the bouncer and grinned back at Naruto with a thumbs-up. Entering the club was a bit unusual for Naruto with all of the scantily clad women around, some stripping on the stage while others were interacting with the customers with lap dances and serving drinks. This brought back reminders from his training trip with Jiraiya, the man had made it a priority to visit at least one strip club in every village and town they came across.

Sitting over at a table while Harry grabbed the drink, he heard a man speak over the speakers. "And now, the sexiest lady you will ever see. The red-haired goddess. The exciting, the exquisite, the exhilarating...Exotica!" From behind the curtains came a woman that shocked Naruto to the core and caused his jaw to physically drop.

The shear beauty of this woman was nearly palpable. And her long flowing red hair... It must have been the curse of Namikaze men to fall for red heads and only red heads, that could be why he fell for Sakura so long ago as she was the closest to a red head that he had seen as a kid. 'But then again, there's no chance a girl like her would fall for me. Heh, doesn't mean I can't dream.' Unlike the rest of the guys in the club, he was analyzing her rather than staring at her in blatant lust. She nearly glowing green eyes, long flowing red hair that mesmerized him, the curves of a goddess, an ample bust, and a gleam of mystery that seemed to surround her. And just a quickly as she had begun, she was finished and walking back behind the curtain.

"Well, well, well, it seems like you are attracted to women, Naruto. And here Ella and me were thinking you batted for the other team, or at least I did." Harry had finally come back holding two beers and setting one down in front of Naruto. "So that's what it takes to get your attention? A stripper?"

"First of all dumbass, it would be 'Ella and I', learn some fucking grammar. Secondly, its not a stripper that gets my attention...it was her hair, her long red hair." Finishing, Naruto tried to hide the blush on his cheeks. For a guy of twenty-six, it was an embarrassing thing to be blushing like a teenager. In truth, Naruto had little experience with women after arriving in this land other than some of his customers flirting with him and even that was minimal.

At the same time as Naruto was attempting to drive away Harry's probing questions, the doors of the club were flung open as the large bouncer was sent flying through the club until he collided with the metal pole on the stage and was knocked out. From the open doors, in came a large man that was fatter than any other man Naruto had ever seen around here but after a few moments, he remembered the face from a paper he had read about the rising numbers of mutants that were being born into families and naming some of the more villainous ones. This one was Blob, a mutant from the so called "Brotherhood" back in New York. In truth, the guy reminded him of a bandit on his first real C-rank mission which gave Naruto an idea if things came done to it and he needed to intervene.

"Heh...look at all the pretty sluts, all ready for me to use. You know, I was feelin' kinda horny so this is perfect for me." An uptight man with glasses attempted to persuade Blob to leave only to be sent flying over the stage and behind the curtains after Blob smashed the man with his overly large stomach. "Now bring me a girl and step on it!"

It was then that a tick mark appeared on Naruto's forehead as the cowardly man pushed out the red-haired beauty, Exotica, causing a slight cracking noise to come from the table that Naruto and Harry were sitting.

The cop looked from the developing situation as he heard the noise and looked as tension cracks began to appear all through Naruto's beer bottle and the section of table underneath the bottle, despite the table being made of wood. "Naruto...? Come on, man, you gotta calm down. 'Cooler heads kick ass' or whatever, right?" The look in Naruto's eyes were like those of some of the cops he knew that had just come home from their time overseas in the Middle East, the eyes of a warrior and one that had been under fire before.

"Cooler heads prevail, dumbass. Besides...my plan is already in motion, just make sure that the boys in blue are here on time to deliver one over-sized package to central booking." Naruto sat up from his seat and slowly walked into the small crowd of people, the beer bottle shattering without a sound as he disappeared from sight, blending in with the crowd. Reaching the end of the club, Naruto used the general sense of distraction among the people in the club to make his way to the ceiling. As he moved to a crouched position several feet away from Blob on the ceiling, he pushed up his right sleeve and let a newly-bloodied thumb move across an intricate design on his outer forearm causing a leather bracer to appear and cover his entire right forearm. With an unnoticeable motion with his hand, a blade came out from the underside of the bracer and then back into the armband after a few seconds. 'It still works perfectly after all these years. Lets see if the modification I need still works as well.'

With a bit of tinkering as Exotica moved up the stage slowly, Naruto had gotten the Hidden Blade to reveal it's poisonous abilities and had properly converted it to the Dart Gun that he needed even though the pistol modification to the bracer had been mostly damaged in it's last use but the parts needed to propel an object were still intact. Reaching for a pouch on his side, Naruto pulled out a blue liquid and inserted the vial into a space on the underside of the bracer. Now all he needed was the right timing... With his left hand on the trigger and his right arm extended, Naruto's mind created an imaginary line extending straight from the end of his bracer to where a fired shot would hit, a mental mechanism created over years of use and practice. With a single twitch of his finger, the plan moved into the next stage.

With the poisoned dart sinking into Blob's neck, Naruto ran across the ceiling before jumping down at the mutant. "Hey fatso!" Catching Blob's attention, Naruto delivered a kick to the man's head and continued once he landed behind the mutant by taking out the knees.

With being attacked, Blob did what he could to catch the nimble assailant but his size proved to be a big disadvantage. "Stand in one place, pipsqueak, so I can smash you!" Naruto wasn't hitting to do damage like a normal fighter, he was picking his targets and hitting the joints and other less obvious areas but the attacks did little damage to the cushioned mutant. "Little bastard, that doesn't hurt, it tickles."

Moving away from Blob, Naruto released a breath of air as his body shifted into a stance that he had copied from his old allies, his body grounded and ready to react with the style used by the Hyuuga: Jyuuken. "I may not have the Byakugan but with I've already made my targets visible." Without another word, Naruto pushed off and into a flurry of strikes. "Jyuukenhou: Hakke Rokujuuyon Sho!" In a burst of speed and accuracy, the attack began. Two, four, eight, sixteen, thirty-two, finishing with sixty-four strikes to Blob's body that merely caused the mutant to laugh.

"Was that supposed to hurt, little man?" The man laughed as he took a step towards Naruto...or at least he tried. As soon as the man tried to move, he fell to the floor with a loud crash.

"You were saying something?" Jyuuken, a style that focused on precise attacks to areas such as the chakra system or pressure points. The weakness was that it required exact accuracy or it lost nearly all of it's purpose. Without the Byakugan, the style was useless unless in such a situation that the targets were pointed out. With the use of the poison, Blob's body had become more sensitive to force so the initial attacks by Naruto had quickly bruised, creating perfect targets for one that lacked the Byakugan. "Now do us all a favor, stay down. Don't make me kick your ass again." As if nothing had happened, Naruto went back to his seat with Harry and drank what was left of his beer before spiting it out. "Piss warm beer, nothing more disgusting. What do you say we head out of here as soon as the boys from the precinct get here? It's been a long day for me and I'm sure the wife and kids are waiting for you to get home."

Harry, having never seen this side of Naruto since meeting him years ago, was rendered speechless but only for a moment. "What the hell was that, Naruto? Disappearing into the crowd, fighting a mutant and winning, those martial arts moves? Its like something out of a video game or a comic. What are you, some kind of super ninja?"

The question simply caused Naruto to laugh as the police finally showed up to take Blob into custody. "That's all just another life...and it's shinobi to be exact." With that, Naruto left behind a quickly following friend but also a very curious red-haired dancer. To those that knew her, really knew her, a curious Exotica Jones was a force to be reckoned with as she would do whatever it took to sate her curiosity.


There is the first story I have released in months. Sorry for how long these things are taking but inspiration is at a all time low and I am having trouble putting a few words together and not erasing it out of displeasure of what I wrote.