Mixed Feelings

Author's Note: I was rewatching Rurouni Kenshin and this came upon me. I hope you enjoy it! Please review at the end and let me know what you think!:)

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters. I only own the idea.

The first time I lay my eyes on her she was like a flower ready to bloom.

The next time we met she was covered in blood.

Watching her after that second meeting I realized, there was more for her in my assassins heart than I dared to admit. That heart's emotions were put to the test on that last day when the knowledge of her true intentions became known to me. The intentions, which had been staring me in the face since that dark night in Kyoto a year and a half ago, from the time I crossed swords with a man in love before I ended his life.

The intentions that led me to fall into a trap of despair.

The intentions that would have cost me my life.

The white plum of my heart's blossom fell that night by my sword.

The snowy night that I should have died…

Ten years later, I come across flower bud in the misty night. I was a wanderer at that point with my only weapon being a reversed blade sword. She ran off that night to follow the man referring to himself by my past, Battousai.

That blooming flower was about to be met in the same rain of blood just as my White Plum had been.

I wasn't ready to let that happen.

The cycle couldn't repeat itself.

I would not allow the chain of a cycle to start once again, although I never expected after my vow that I would ever fall in love again.

The love of my life had been killed by my own hand once before. I wouldn't allow it to happen again.

That next day I meant to leave, but I found that I was unable to. Something drew me back and continued to do so no matter the dangers.

Even when another assassin from the previous era caught up to me and used that bud to get to me. I feared that I would have to break both vows and kill him in order to save her life, but at the cost of my own.

To my astonishment I was able to defeat him while keeping both vows.

To never take another life.

To never die a swordsman.

These vows will continue to stay with me just as my cross shaped scar has since that fateful day.

Still fearful that I would take this new flower buds life I kept pushing her to the side in my attempts to keep her safe, but in the end she always got pulled in one way or another.

I found myself with an unbroken sheath which even in the darkest times could pull my back in and keep me safe from my innermost turmoil.

My first sheath was broken.

The second drew me back from the darkest pits of hell.

…Tomoe…

…Kaoru…

Both blossomed,

Both became sheathes,

Yet one did not break in my arms.