Germany was just walking around, doing, you know, walking. Suddenly, he spotted a box of tomatoes. A rather SUSPICIOUS box of tomatoes, to be exact. So slowly, ever so slowly, so slow that the turtle rolled its eyes at him, he approached it, but then the box opened and out jumped…

A BIG ASS LEOPARD WITH A BUNCH OF MACHINE GUNS ATTACHED TO IT.

"OH EM GEE THIS FREAKING LEOPARD IS EATING ME!1!1!" Germany yelled. "WTF IT HAS MACHINE GUNS TOO. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD TO HAVE LEOPARDS WITH MACHINE GUNS IN TOMATO BOXES? THAT'S FALSE ADVERTISING!"

Then, out of nowhere, Japan came by and started wrestling with the big ass leopard while Italy was screaming and throwing pizza at it.

"TAKE THAT, YOU GIANT MUTATED CUDDLY CAT THING!" Italy yelled when he nailed it in the eye with a rather spicy slice of pepperoni pizza. The leopard screeched and jumped off of Germany, who promptly screamed and ran away. He started screaming even louder when the cat started shooting its AK47 in his general direction.

Japan, hanging on the leopard's back, took hold of that particular weapon and ripped it off, leaving the leopard deprived of any epic guns. The tiny pistol it had didn't count.

The leopard, who shall now be George because I'm tired of typing leopard all the time, quickly surrendered without any arsenal it actually liked. Not knowing what to do with George, Italy was about to finish it off with a piece of spicy Italian sausage pizza, but then America ran in crying and started hugging George, who somehow managed to hug him back.

"NOOOEZ! I WANNA KEEPEZ HIM!" …please? America asked nicely.

"…Eh, what the heck," Japan answered, "do what you want with him."

"YAAAAAYZ!" America yelled. "C'MON, GEORGE! LET US RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET AND EAT A BUNCH OF MEATBALLS TOGETHER!"

And that was how America got a pet leopard named George.

A/N: FLAME THIS PLEASE. OKAY, THANK YOU.