I don't own anything, not even this computer.
"How do you mean, you're not gonna teach me, I'm up against a guy who doesn't hesitate to kill his own cousin!"
"Y' have to understand, Gaara is a psychopath, Sasuke is going to need something to pierce that shield." The scarecrow said. "But I have a replacement teacher, not like you would proceed anyway," he added under his breath, "ah there he is." He said when he saw the black clad jonin coming.
"Not the closet pervert," Naruto yelled out.
"Aw come on he is a much better teacher than I am," Kakashi pleaded while Ebisu pushed up his glasses.
"I've beaten him while I was teaching kohonamaru the sexy no jutsu without knowing, he fell out of a tree unconscious, save it I'm out of here." Naruto practically yelled at his 'sensei' when turning around.
Later that day
"Stupid kaka-sensei, always choosing sasgay, never leave a friend behind huh," Naruto said to himself banging up a tree.
"Hey kid stop that," said a voice coming from nowhere.
"Where and who are you" the orange maelstrom yelled out.
"Ssh quiet, you want to give away my hiding place I'm in the tree you're torturing," the old voice said, "if you want to talk come up here."
With that said started Naruto tree climbing.
"Say with that kind of punch, you're a genin right," said the white haired man.
"Yeah... what are you doing here by the way," asked Naruto.
"Research, but if you are a genin shouldn't you know the chakra tree climbing exercise?"
"So why did you climb the old fashion way?"
"Because since that snake-fag slammed me in my stomach, I can't do my techniques that good anymore, especially that one," Naruto answered.
"Really, let's get to the ground," he said before grabbing him and jumping down.
"Now show me that seal," he said.
At this Naruto stumbled backwards.
"H-how do you know about the seal?"
"Because I was the one who taught the one who placed that on you."
"Oh," said Naruto before lifting his shirt.
"Ah there, prepare your selves," he said before slamming his hand into the seal resulting in a relative big sized explosion,
"What was that?"
"Apparently besides completely blocking the fox, it scrambled your chakra by draining it in random quantities and storing it strengthening the seal further, when was it placed on you?"
"A day of three ago."
"Why were you training?"
"The chunin exams."
"And where's your sensei."
"He's training Sasuke."
"He wanted to ship me off to the closet-pervert, but that guy is weaker then me."
"Is that so then maybe I can teach you a thing of two, so what's your elemental affinity."
At this he almost fell from his feet.
"How do you mean, what's that, haven't you learned that in the academy?"
"Probably, but most of the time I was recovering or pranking the villagers as a revenge."
"And didn't your teacher say anything about it?"
"I think I heard him say something like that to Sasgay when Sakura and I were running around the village."
"What did he learn you."
"Eeuh... tree climbing."
"I am going to have a talk with him."
"Hey, we have been talking for an hour now but I still haven't heard your name."
"Yeah I forgot."
"So who are you?"
"I am jiraya the frog sage."
"Jiraya huh, aren't you the writer of that orange book kaka-sensei reads."
"So he is a fan huh, I can do something with that, hello new heartless persona."
"In the series, still needed a name"
"So hold on," the writer said before he shunshin'd away.
Near a waterfall
"Where are we," Naruto said his head still spinning.
"Here I am going to teach you water walking tomorrow," he said while grabbing for a kunai and throwing it towards a tree cutting of a leaf.
"Why did you do that?"
"That tree is a chakra-tree, if you grab a leaf and channel some chakra into it you can see what affinity you have."
"Couldn't you just pull one off?"
"No if I did that the entire tree would be useless now, you heard about chakra-paper?"
"I think so..."
"Well those little papers have been treated so shopkeepers and teachers can hold them to sell and hand them to their students, they're made less absorbing, but if you do that you can only tell what your primary affinity is."
"You can have more then one?"
"Yea... it's normal for jonin to have two, and if you have a bloodline they can combine like the mokuton from the shodaime."
"So now if I would touch it, it would show two types?"
"So I just grab it and it does its thing."
"Okay," Naruto said and went to grab it.
"When he had grabbed it, it immediately split in two, both sides became soaked and crumpled."
"Give it here," jiraya said and Naruto did what he demanded.
"Storm release, a bloodline limit, go back home and return here tomorrow by nine thirty o' clock, I'll get some info about it for helping you train."
"Bloodline, so I have a family."
"Not that I know of," said Jiraya, the last known Araton users died in the foxes attack.
"Oh, Ah still no family, still have the old man, Iruka-sensei, Ichiraku and his daughter, much better than more people who might hate me."
"When he said that a look of sadness crossed the elder man's face."
The next morning
"What are you looking at," asked Naruto when he saw his new sensei looking through an old telescope.
"Research for my books"
"Couldn't you just go under a henge enter the baths?"
"Nah tried that, couldn't take notes, and was discovered by a kunoichi when she bumped into me through the henge."
"Bumped through, isn't it solid."
"Henge isn't solid kid, it's just an illusion."
"What exactly do you mean?"
"I can only make solid henges."
"Oh yeah... show me."
"Okay 'Henge'," said naruto before a cloud formed and Naruto was replaced by the sandaime and Jiraya started prodding the man.
"Jiraya stop poking me or should I ban the Icha-Icha paradise," naruto said.
"You just ruined the image boy," said Jiraya.
"What do mean."
"He loves it as much as any other of my readers."
"So that's why he's never ready with his paper work."
"Okay you've proven your point, change back so we can start with water walking."
"And the third was soon replaced with a satisfied Naruto."
"Why water walking?"
"Because you'll need the control if you want to keep the village to be kage off."
"Okay, so how do you do that?"
An hour and a half and a lot of wet clothes later.
"I did it," yelled Naruto when he reached the other bank of the river.
"Great now come back here, so I can explain you the nature transformations you'll need."
Once Naruto was back with Jiraya he said he had heard from the old man that Naruto was very proficient in the Kage Bunshin and asked Naruto to confirm it.
"Yeah I can do it, why?"
"Because you've just saved yourself a whole lot of time, how many can you make?"
"I don't know, never went all out with that, I've already made a thousand once or twice."
"Okay, can you make as many as possible kage bunshins from about a fourth of your chakra reserves."
"Okay, here it goes, "kage bunshin", and with that said more than five thousand clones popped up."
(comment: I know is much but the fox had almost infinite reserves, and the seal drains it, but the draining/filtering should be done without interference around the age of eighty so it has to go a little fast, right)
"I said a fourth, not spend it all!"
"This is a fourth!"
"If that is the case tell them to all take a leaf and wait for my instructions, okay."
"Yes sir!" yelled the group.
"And what are we going to do?"
"We are going to do summoning"
"What are we going to summon?"
"What do you mean it depends?"
"Well I made a deal (read: was forced to make a deal) not to force summons on people, so now I let the summons decide."
"And what does that mean?"
"You do the hand-signs offer the blood and slam down your hand on the ground."
"How much blood."
"Just a drop. Okay watch closely," said the toad sage and performed the hand-signs.
Just as Naruto started stopped jiraya him.
"Wait wait I've forgotten something."
"If you do it before you get your contract you get transported to their realm."
"You forgot that, and you call yourself a teacher?"
"Uhm, yeah, but I have a solution."
"And what's that? Naruto said warily."
"I am going to grab your shoulder, if I do I can summon us back if things go wrong, if I don't I can lose you, like the old monkey lost me, and I lost the fourth."
"You've lost the fourth."
"I was lucky, he landed with the toads."
"Was that everything?" Asked Naruto.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes I am."
"Okay, summoning, and with that they were gone."
"Okay where are we, hey perv, do you know where we are." Naruto said poking the older man awake.
"I would want to know that too, Jiraya," said a loud voice.
"Gamabunta, if you're here why aren't we at the mountain."
"I don't know jiraya-boy, I was hoping you knew."
"Then where are we, Naruto said again looking at the surroundings. There wasn't much, A medium sized lake, a foggy forests edge, mountains in the distance and a couple of large mossy rocks."
"Was that boy the one who summoned us here?" Asked the huge toad.
"Yeah he's my new student, Naruto Uzumaki, the so… ," was jiraya saying when Gammabunta interrupted him.
"Uzumaki, oh no not her."
Meanwhile was Naruto going closer to the lake to get a better view over the forest and to take a look at the dept of the lake, when.
"Who dares to have called upon me," yelled/said a loud but defiantly female voice.
"I, I guess that was me," said Naruto a bit shocked.
"What is your name, human," said the voice.
"Naruto Uzumaki," said the boy refilled with courage (or is it stupidity?).
"Uzumaki, how old are you boy," said the voice now a bit gentler (from the 'oh I am going to kill you in the worst possible way and destroy your corpse for good' to the ' if I don't like this answer I will kill you nice and slowly and use your bones to pick my teeth).
"Twelve and a half."
"Twelve, has your clan forsaken their duties, tell me who are your parents."
"I don't know," said Naruto a little taken back.
"Is that so, then late me take a look at you," said the voice.
Suddenly the lake started to boil, more and more until the surface finally broke, and a huge white snake head could be seen. It was certainly three times bigger than gamabuntas own head.
"Look at me," it said and Naruto obliged.
"Not a red haid, but still a Uzumaki, how unusual," it said as it pondered some more.
"You man what do you know of this boy."
"His name is Naruto Uzumaki, he is the ward of the Nine-tailed fox, he lives in Kohona."
"Kohona, what happened to Uzu?"
"It was destroyed by Mist and Rock."
"What do you know of his family."
"He's an orphan."
As it got boring for him (and Jiraya could start with the important stuff) Naruto went to the large toad who was drinking while trying not to be seen by the big snake and make her remember some debts, to plage him. While Naruto was pestering Gamabunta, he saw something slip away in the bushes.
"Hey what was that," said Naruto
"What, ah just leave it, now where was that sake, hey where is it, I know I had a gourd here, or was it already empty" said bunta.
"Ssh, quiet down, I'm gonna catch it," said Naruto as he sneaked towards the bush.
Naruto jumped on the bush and crashed on the ground seeing his prey run away.
"Oh no you don't, 'kage bunshin'. And with that thirty Naruto's ran after his target, most of which were quickly dealt with.
When Naruto had recovered from his fall, he immediately made sixty more, stopping his prey quickly with a flesh heap.
When Naruto went to see his catch he was surprised to see obviously young foxes kit of a meter and a half in length with five tails.
After recovering from the shock that his catch was a fox, he went closer and just as he was about to reach the snout, a soft red nine-tailed fox jumped out of the bushes and slammed in the flesh heap.
"Stay away from my kit,' said an enraged mother fox.
"Mommy, I was playing with him," said the smaller fox.
"Sweety if you were playing can I at least know who you were playing with."
"Sorry mom, hey you blondy what's your name."
"It's Naruto, and don't call me blondie!"
"Okay Naruto were you responsible for our summoning?"
"I guess so."
"If that's the case, then how did you come here?"
"The white haired pervert said that this was the way to know from what clan I should summon."
"So you summoned without a contract, and landed here?"
"Yeah, shortly after we arrived the big drunk toad came to this clearing, him and the pervert started talking and I wandered off and the big snake head came out of the water, then she and the pervert started talking, I was pestering the toad and when he said his gourd was gone I saw your son, and here we are."
"Son, what did you do with that gourd?"
"It smelled funny so I threw it away."
"You threw my sake away, nooo," yelled the toad dramatically.
After this the female fox went talking to the pervert after giving Bunta a slap on his skull with one of her tails, and Naruto playing with her kit.
A little later
"Naruto, come here," yelled the white haired perv, causing Naruto and Beniakuma (benihime= crimson princess – princess + demon(=demon)) to crash into the river.
"What is it ero-sennin?"
"We think we figured it out why we are here."
"Really, and what is it that you have come up with?"
"You were trying to get your contract by going to the tribe that you most belong with right?"
"We came here because this place lies exactly in the middle between the three clan grounds you belong with."
"That'ss right, these grounds belong to no clan and lay between the gama grounds, the foxes forests and the snake's marchess (has someone a better word for the last one?)."
"So I belong with all three of your clans."
"Yes, because of your parentage you belong with gama-bunta and Byahime's clans, and mine, that's a bit my husbands fault."
"Are you kyuubi's wife," he said with a weak voice.
"Us foxes prefer to call it mates, but yes Yamikit is my mate, speaking of him, I should really check if he's calmed down, but I guess it can wait," said the calm mother fox.
"So, uhm Byahime-sama, has the creepy-Tung-guy signed your contract?"
"No he hasn't, he signed the one my nephew made."
"Why did he make his own contract?"
"He was angered because he was stuck in his rank and we were to peaceful by his standards."
"Now Naruto-boy would you like to sign the contracts."
"I would love to."
"If that's the case then, come closer," said sakusune (sakura + kitsune) while she took a large scroll from somewhere behind her back.
"Now draw blood from your thumb, as she said this Naruto obediently followed her commands, and sign your name in blood, now let me see the seal that keeps my hothead of an husband."
When she said this Naruto's mask fell for a fraction second before it was back in place.
"Ah, this is a strong one indeed, who was the one that placed it on to you?"
"The fourth hokage, Namikaze Minato."
"Okay hold still for a second, I'm going to ad a summoning seal to it, so you don't have to do all the seals, just smear a little blood and the necessary amount of chakra to the seal, the only thing that is going to change on the original seal is that you won't suck Yamikit dry, but you will suck him to a severe chakra exhaustion and then he gets transported home if he wishes so."
Okay, and with that she drew the extra seal with her tails.
"Now come here little Uzumaki," byahime said after Sakusune was done with her job.
As she said this she rose from the lake, growing to her full size, and eight other heads coming up from under the surface.
"Do as you just did with sakusune on this contract," she said with one head, dropping the scroll from an other.
After the signing was done she said to our blond to show his left arm, biting it softly and leaving a seal of her own.
"The seals we just gave you will help you in battle, less wasting time on the seals, more time for clobbering."
"Jiraya-boy do you have the scroll ready."
"Yes here is it, Naruto you know the drill."
"Hey Gamabunta how come yours and Byahime's contracts have so many names on them and sakusune's had only one and that one was crossed out."
"Mine and byahime's contracts were clan contracts for a great length of time while only Uchia Madera signed the kyuubi's and he was crossed out because he used him to attack his own brother."
"Totally unacceptable family is a sacred thing, no matter what the other has done it can't be enough to use lethal force."
"Now sshouldn't you go back to your world, I'm sure a lot of time has passed there."
"Thank you for letting me sign your contracts," Naruto said before being summoned away.
At the waterfall.
"Uraag, landing still hurts," Naruto yelled
"Now Naruto dispel your clones, wait not so hasty, only fifty at a time," Jiraya said as Naruto prepared himself to dispel all his clones.
"Okay," he said as he started dispelling the clones.
After a while Naruto started to notice that his clones had learned more then just the basics.
"Hey Jiraya, how come I receive memories of training with you?"
"That's simple, I have always two or three shadow clones walking around the village, so there must have been one who came and helped your clones, wait a sec, Ah yes, He taught your guys the second and third stage of elemental transformation."
"So are you gonna teach me some techniques now."
"Yeah your control is good enough, but it still has to wait for tomorrow."
"Why," Naruto whined.
"Just look at the sun."
"What sun, oh you want to sleep, see you tomorrow."
One month later
Hi everyone, this is SoulToSqueez. my brother showed me the reviews about : "(enter speech here)"... So I decided to get on his nerves and started placing brackets in the story.
Please Review so I didn't do this trouble for nothing.
(If you don't then I'll find you... first I'm going to make you typ a review then I am going to do something that is not even M-rated.)
I am placing this up for adoption since I had this base and couldn't think on any more.
(and because I fail in writing good action scenes)
You can do whatever you wan't so long there isn't any yaoi in it.
but please mention this origional fic.