Warriors: A Parody

Chapter 1

Dovewing opened her eyes, ready to start her new day, and lifted her head, to see her sister Ivypool creepily looking at her.

"Ivypool… Are you off your meds again?" Dovewing meowed, and Ivypool padded over to Brackenfur. "AAHAHAHHH! FOX!" She exclaimed. "What? Fox? Where?" He meowed.

Ferncloud, all the way at the nursery, heard Brackenfur and Ivypool, and looked at her twelve kits all playing. "Oh no! A fox! Get in, err…. Whateveryournameiskit, and everyone else! Get in!" She yowled.

This happened to catch Firestar's attention, and ran out of his den, onto the Highledge. "Hey, Firestar, why is your fur all fluffed out?" Molepaw asked, laughing. Sandstorm followed after, with a mischievous look on her face. "I gave Firestar some sugary treats…" She remarked, and Molepaw gasped. "OH MY STARCLAN! SANDSTORM, COULD I PLEASE HAVE SOME SUGARY TREATS? PLLLLEEEAAAASSSEEE? YOU GAVE FIRESTAR SOME!"

Mousefur, hearing this, poked her head out of the elder's den, agreed with Molepaw. "I could go for some of Sandstorm's sugary treats right now."


"Like it matters, her and Dustpelt could just fire up the assembly line again… We've all seen that they're well capable of making more." Cherrypaw muttered to Molepaw, and they both snickered.

Dovewing ran out of the warriors den apologetically. "I'm sorry, there's no fox, Ivypool's off her meds, she made it up!" She exclaimed.

Jayfeather came out of the medicine den with a 'Pff.' "I knew it, because when I was talking to all those dead cats, they told me nothing about a fox. Hey, where's Lionblaze?"

Behind the warriors den, Lionblaze and Cinderheart were pretty intense, rubbing each other's fur, making out.

Purdy went over to the kits. "Storie tiem!" He exclaimed, and they all cheered and came together. "I wa wons travulin al da wa thru a 2legplas ann I waz al getin urp in daere fasiz fosho." He began, and Lilykit looked shocked. "OMS! THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

Hollyleaf padded behind the warriors den, to see Lionblaze and Cinderheart. "What are you two doing? Anything against the warrior code?" She asked frantically. "Making out behind the warriors den is against the Warrior code! It's printed right in Book 7, Appendix 16, Section 3, Subsection 15, Paragraph 147, and Line 5! If you want this to be legal, move behind the leader's den." Hollyleaf ordered bossily.

Jayfeather suddenly delved into the dreams of Lionblaze. He was… frenching Cinderheart. Of cour- Whoa, now it's getting a little graphic! Heathertail is joining the party! Then, it all turned to darkness and the ominous spirit of Firestar's fat kittypet mommy appeared. "Lion will touch friend, then touch friend and enemy." "OMS! A prophecy! But what does it mean?" He asked. Then, he was switched to a party scene, that included Bluestar, Yellowfang, Spottedleaf, Oakheart, Whitestorm, and Lionheart. Bluestar and Yellowfang were… making out? Oakheart was drunkily dancing to 'It's Raining Men' by the Weather Girls, and made out with Lionheart.

"What does this mean? Tis' StarClan's will for me to find out." Jayfeather meowed, and went back to the normal world. "IVYPOOL! SHE NEEDS HER MEDS NOW!" Dovewing yowled, and Jayfeather got pissed. "You don't know how it feels! You don't know how it feels to be blind! I hate my life! I hate it! I hate it a lot!"


Eventually, Jayfeather stopped his rant, and Ivypool was normally medicated once more. Suddenly, Jayfeather approached Lionblaze. "Lionblaze, we need to go on a journey." He meowed, and told him about the party dream. "And, I think I know where to visit. SkyClan!"

Note: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Please review, and a new chapter will come soon, with brand new material!