10Yay,new story!
Song Lyrics
Nina's Pov
I'm still alive
But I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a god
That I don't believe in
Cause I got time
While he got freedom
Cause when a heart breaks
No it don't break even
Ever since I got back to England,Fabian seemed to do anything to avoid me. I thought something was wrong with me until Mara finally broke down and told me that he's been with Joy ever since a week after prom. I understand why they didn't want to tell me. My heart is breaking. And when a heart breaks,it don't break even.
I had to force myself to face ever day,to breath every breath. It ain't easy to forget someone when you have to sit behind them in every class. I've tried praying to the Lord, but after last year,I've found myself believing less and less of what I hear. I can't trust myself,let alone my friends. I can't breath,like the life is being choked out of me. Like I want it to happen.
Her best days
Will be some of my worst
She's finally met a man
Who's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake
He's got no trouble sleeping
Cause when a heart breaks
No it don't break even
Joy better love what she's got. I still love Fabian,even though he now refuses to give me the time of day. She will love him like he deserves. She is happy with him. She's happy while I cry myself to sleep. Fabian doesn't notice.
What am I
Supposed to do
When the best part
Of me was always you
And what am I
Supposed to say
When I'm all choked up
And you're okay
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
Mara notices. Only she would see my swollen eyes and broken heart,my lack of sleep and inability to care. She watches while I force myself to eat and smile. She's the only one to force up my sleeve to reveal the scars.
She tries to get me to do something,but I can't. I tune her out and hope she goes away. She doesn't. She says she's felt what I am right now. She's lying. She says It isn't healthy for me to be this way. She doesn't get it. She tries to get me to talk. I have nothing to say.
They say bad things
Happen for a reason
But no wise words
Gonna stop the bleeding
He's moved on
While I'm still grieving
When a heart breaks
No it don't break even
An intervention is called by the girls. After they catch me trying to sneak out of the house,they tell me that Fabian is just an idiot and that it may be a good thing that he left. They talk for a good 20 minutes. I sit in silence. It hasn't gotten through to them that I am in love with Fabian. Everything that happens to me I deserve. I let down my guard and this is my punishment. When I hear them stop talking,I stand up and walk out. They are smart enough not to follow me.
What am I
Supposed to do
When the best part
Of me was always you
What am I
Supposed to say
When I'm all
Choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
I don't walk to my room. I walk to his. I stop at his door to listen while he listens to music. I hear the end of Breakeven by The Script. Then he plays it again. I hear it 3 times before Jerome walks up tome and asks what I'm doing. That's when I walk up to my room. I have nothing to say to him.
Oh you got
Her heart
And my heart
And none of the pain
You took
Your suitcase
I took
The blame
Now I'm
Trying to
Make sense
Of what little remains
Cause you left me
With no love
And no love
To my name
I sit on my bed and start playing on my guitar. Happy songs with no meaning. True life isn't like these songs. The writers have no idea what they are talking about. They just delude themselves into thinking anything like that could be real. I give up on the happy song and go back to Breakeven. Fabian isn't the only one who likes it. It describes me to an almost uncanny level. I'm trying to make sense of what little remains. You left me with no love. And no love to my name.
I'm still alive
But I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a God
That I don't believe in
Cause I got time
While he got freedom
And when a heart breaks
No it don't break
No it don't break
No it don't break even no
I hear a knock on the door. I expect Mara or Patricia. Amber doesn't knock. But I'm wrong. It's Fabian. I choose to ignore him. I don't trust myself to fall for him anymore. He tries to get my attention. When I don't look up, he sits on my bed and I'm forced to look at him. The boy who broke my heart and taped it back together.
"I broke up with her."said Fabian. When I don't speak,he adds, "I still love you."I still say nothing. He sighs as he gets up to leave.
What am I
supposed to do
When the best part of me
Was always you
What am I
Supposed to say
When I'm all choked up
And you're okay
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
I think about his visit all night. I don't know what to do until the next morning when Joy corners me. I expect her to start yelling. Instead she tells me she wants fabina to get back together. She says that her and Fabian had never really connected and she should have given up on him. I stare at her until she walks away. I've made my decision.
No it don't break even no
No it don't break even no
No it don't break even no
I spot Fabian in the kitchen. He looks up and blushes when I enter the room.
"Hey Nina. What are you...?"said Fabian. I cut him off by kissing him.
Fabian gawks at me."I love you so much Nina. I don't know if I messed up my chances by dating her. I don't want things to be awkward." He fades off with a blush. I kiss him again.
"I'll get over it."said Fabian.
1 year later
It's been a year and 'fabina' is still going strong. Today I was listening to the radio when Breakeven comes on. I listen for a minute before changing it. That was my old life. This is my new one.
Love? Hate? Want to marry it? Want to stab it? I'll know if you review!
PS. Don't favorite or subscribe without reviewing. It irks me.