129A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who read/reviewed chapter 1! Your support helps encourage me and means more than I can say.
Chapter 2 is dedicated to Natalie2701, StrawberryFields, and Fanfiction fan, all of whom left lovely reviews on chapter 1 but who I could not send a personal message to thank to. Thank you all so much for the reviews!
Chapter 2-Not Causing a Scene
When she landed, Nymphadora Tonks felt Remus Lupin keep a firm grip on her arm to steady her as she swayed dangerously. Not wanting him to notice the violent blush in her cheeks as he did so, she looked away from him in favor of the alleyway they were standing in. It was dark and deserted and while it was an alleyway, it was clear they were in a nice part of town.
"Ready?" Lupin asked her in his most gentle voice.
Tonks turned to look at him and saw concern in his eyes. She felt ashamed of herself - there he was worrying about her when they had a job to complete. She swallowed and straightened up, determined not to let her feelings for him compromise their mission.
"Ready." She said, surprised by how sure she sounded.
He nodded and began to walk towards the street light at one end of the alley. It was only then that Tonks realized he hadn't released the grip he had on her arm, and she felt her hair threaten to go pink. Forcing herself to focus on keeping it blonde, she took a deep breath and fell into stride next to Lupin.
"The place is just up here." He said, glancing down at her between looking around the buildings surrounding them.
Tonks nodded, not trusting herself to say something intelligent as he was so close and her mind was so fuzzy. The cool night air made her suppress a shiver so she leaned into his arm a bit, where his body heat kept her warm.
"After you." He said when they reached the building. Tonks smiled at his manners and entered the club, stifling the urge to pout as he let go of her arm.
Once free from his touch she felt her mind clear a bit and suddenly adrenaline was rushing through her veins. She became quite aware of the dangers possible in the mission, and she felt her muscles tense as she surveyed the room and found...
Nothing.
There was nobody who looked suspicious, or dark, or even slightly shady.
They could be disguised just like you, she told herself.
Lupin followed her in and stood behind her as she waited for the waitress to seat them, though many couples were at the bar or on the dance floor already. Tonks shivered as he leaned over her shoulder to whisper in her ear, "Try to get us seated in a corner."
She could only nod, as his breath on her cheek sent thrills through her. The waitress got to them with an apologetic smile and Tonks wondered why she seemed so flustered; people were usually wary around her, not trying to impress. It took a once-over from a man near the bar for Tonks to remember she didn't look like herself, but rather a very attractive and sophisticated woman.
Once seated in a corner where they could see the entire place, Tonks sighed and reluctantly removed her robes to reveal the shirt she'd chosen, wishing she hadn't listened to Sirius as she felt suddenly very self-conscious.
For a few moments, Tonks and Lupin sat in comfortable silence as they drank in their surroundings. There was loud music playing and a bar which people were circulating. Some couples were dancing, though it was still quite early, and there were quite a few single people mingling around. Tonks looked at every face in the crowd and saw nobody she recognized as a Death Eater or suspected Death Eater, but she couldn't be certain.
"See anyone?" She asked Lupin after a few minutes.
"Nobody. You?" He sounded slightly hopeful but not expectant.
"Nobody."
"Not surprising, I suppose."
"I know. It seems these missions never go anywhere." She agreed, looking over at him.
"Yes, but it's important that we keep trying." He responded automatically. He finally seemed to feel her eyes on his face and broke his gaze from the rest of the room to meet hers. "How was your day?"
Tonks was a bit taken a back but smiled. "Boring. Scrimgeour keeps me doing as much paperwork as possible; I swear he suspects something."
Lupin frowned slightly. "Yes, Kingsley's been saying the same thing."
Tonks just shrugged, wondering why all of a sudden they were unable to keep up their usual banter. Normally, at Grimmauld place or whenever they found themselves together, they were friendly, chatty, comfortable. For some reason, that comfort seemed to have gone. Tonks frowned at the thought - were her feelings for Remus really making her unable to act normally around him, or was he acting differently too?
"How was your day?" Tonks finally asked, breaking the silence that had once again fallen.
Now it was Lupin's turn to seem surprised, and Tonks found it adorable how taken aback he was at being asked about his day. "It was ordinary. Spent the morning following a suspected Death Eater, but nothing came of it. Spent the afternoon meeting with possible recruits."
Tonks perked up at the idea of new Order members. "Anyone good?"
"One woman I'm sure Sirius would love, but no, not really. Nobody serious enough for me to divulge information to." Lupin answered truthfully.
"A woman Sirius would love?" Tonks asked, feeling very confused.
"Yes." Lupin responded simply. "Single, good looking."
Tonks was surprised by his bluntness, but still exclaimed, "She should join!"
"So you won't be the rookie?" He asked her wryly.
"No," Tonks said, indignation rising though she knew he was kidding, "So Sirius'll be fun again!"
Lupin smiled at her distractedly but said in a more solemn voice, "I think it'll take more than a little flirting for Sirius to be fun again."
"I wouldn't be so sure!" Tonks countered with a grin. "That kind of thing can be good for people, help them lighten up, be happier, you know..."
"Can it?" He asked in a soft and infinitely more somber tone. Tonks' eyes snapped to his, and though neither said anything, the atmosphere had changed and they were both aware of the sudden depth of their conversation.
"Yes." Tonks said clearly and without hesitation.
He looked unconvinced. "Even in a war?"
"Especially in a war." She responded just as steadily. "That kind of thing matters more now than ever."
Though she felt vulnerable saying those things, Tonks found herself not caring too much - his soft smile and contemplative look told her more than words could have. She inwardly marveled at her own ability to stay so calm while a part of her was cheering. He'd asked about dating, hadn't he? Whether she thought it was a good idea - that had to mean something, didn't it?
A large silence fell that was less comfortable than the one before. It was as if each knew some sort of line had been crossed, but neither knew what to do once it had been. After a few unbearable minutes Tonks glanced back up at Lupin from under her lashes. He was staring at the table in front of him, looking conflicted.
Deciding not to ask, knowing he'd pass it off as nothing, she took a deep breath and in her most confident voice asked, "Want a drink?"
Lupin looked sharply up at her, eyebrows raised, but seemed to decide not to take her seriously. "Not planning on drinking on the job, are you?"
His playful side was back out. Tonks could have sighed in relief, but she instead rolled her eyes at him, saying, "We'll look weird without them, Mark."
"Alright, Iris, darling." He responded, voice possessing the slightest sarcastic edge.
Tonks huffed at him but instead of arguing, like she half wanted to, she headed across the room for the bar. As she walked she felt very uncomfortable with so many eyes on her and regretted leaving her robes at the table. Men were giving her once-over after once-over, causing her to feel violated, and even women were staring, or rather glaring.
Tonks reminded herself that it wasn't her they were looking at - it was the leggy blonde she was pretending to be. She ordered two butter beers from the bartender and waited as he summoned the drinks and began to get change for the money she'd given him. As she was waiting she felt someone walk up beside her and stand close. Very close. Too close, in her opinion.
She turned, ready to step away, when she found herself startled by the predatory gleam in the dark eyes of the man who'd approached her.
"What's a fine lady like yourself doing here all alone on a Friday night?" He asked in a silky voice that made Tonks' skin crawl.
"I'm not alone, I'm just getting a drink." Tonks said as calmly and confidently as possible.
He let out what she thought was supposed to be light laughter while saying, "Uh-huh." Then he leaned closer to her. "Let me buy you a drink."
"No. I'm not alone, I told you..." Tonks repeated, glancing up and accepting the change the bartender offered her.
"Whatever you say, gorgeous. Get me a fire-whiskey, would you, and one for the lady." The man commanded the bartender.
"None for me, please." Tonks said politely, trying to leave the bar.
The man stopped her with a firm grip on her arm. "Stop playing hard to get, doll face."
Ordinarily Tonks would punch this guy in the face - or hex him, depending on whether she had the energy and restraint to reach for her wand. She'd usually throw a rude hand gesture or insult him or be anything but polite. She was, however, supposed to be Iris, not Tonks. And Iris could not cause a scene.
"Leave me alone." She said, trying to sound icy and dangerous.
The man saw she meant business, but instead of seeming put out, he just grinned at her arrogantly. "You'll change your mind." He promised, before letting go of her arm.
Tonks scowled as she hurried back to the table where Lupin was sitting. Once she'd put the drinks down, she pulled her robes back on, not caring about the disguise at the moment.
When she'd wrapped herself up in them and looked back up, Lupin was eyeing her with concern. "What'd he want?"
"He wanted to buy me a drink." She responded, taking a swig of her butter beer and feeling it warming her insides almost as much as Lupin's touch had earlier.
His brow furrowed immediately. "Why do you say it like that?"
"Say what like that?" She asked, confused.
"Me?"
"Well, it's not me he wants to buy a drink, it's Iris." Tonks responded with a shrug.
Instead of saying anything, he just nodded at her, studying her with that look of his which always made her feel see-through. Feeling uncomfortable with his gaze, as if he was able to see her very thoughts, Tonks decided to change the subject.
"So," she said, grinning at him once more, "tell me about the infamous Marauders."
~ o0o ~
Hours and many embarrassing stories later, Tonks was still laughing at the things Sirius, James, and Remus had gotten up to in their youth. He'd just been telling her about one of their April Fool's Day jokes, and Tonks had lost track of why they were where they were, feeling a lot more comfortable than she had when they'd first arrived.
Somehow, through his wit and stories and humor, he'd put her at ease. He always managed to, it seemed, and now she was there, laughing at his jokes, enjoying his company, and she realized that when she was with him the future seemed a lot less daunting.
They chatted about her childhood, his; her job, his teaching; their favorite music - anything and everything. Time passed quickly and before Tonks knew it it was getting late and more and more people were dancing. She glanced at the dance floor but still saw nobody - no Death Eaters or suspicious activity.
When she looked back at the table, Lupin was giving her a look. Not his usual I-can-see-every-wrong-thing-you've-done-and-any-embarrassing-thought-you've-ever-had-just-by-looking-at-you look, but a new look. One he'd never used on her before.
It was not one of any common emotion, not even the look she'd come to identify as longing, the one Sirius had been talking about when he'd said Lupin fancied her. No, it was not that look. It was a calculating, almost confused look.
"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" Tonks blurted out, blushing a bit as she said the words so bluntly.
To her shock, Lupin's face visibly flushed, even in the semi-darkness of the club. "Sorry." He said quickly, looking down. "It's just...weird to see you like this."
Tonks looked at him, confused. "Like what?"
"Like this - not like normal." He said, gesturing to her vaguely. Tonks suddenly understood he was talking about her appearance.
She shrugged - she was used to looking different, as a metamorphmagus and all. "I'm a lot more gorgeous this way, relish it!"
Tonks laughed at her own joke, only to feel incredibly awkward when Lupin didn't.
Instead, he frowned slightly. "You're very beautiful normally. This is just...wrong. Stereotypical beautiful, ordinary beautiful. Your beauty is that you're not ordinary. Your beauty is in your color, your life."
He said it in such a matter-of-fact tone that Tonks wouldn't have ever guessed he was complimenting her, and it took her by complete surprise. She was suddenly glad she didn't have a drink, or she'd probably have choked.
After the shock had subsided and the words had finally registered she asked, "I - you think I'm beautiful?"
She was flustered and bewildered, but as she said the words she felt herself give a goofy grin that she couldn't suppress, letting his confession wash over her and fill her with warmth once more.
Lupin looked up, smiling absurdly shyly at her, looking very un-Remus-like in his lack of cool, calm, collectedness. "How could I not?" He asked very, very quietly.
Tonks had to fight not to gape at him. "It's just..." She felt her cheeks redden a bit and couldn't look at him as she said, "Nobody's ever said that before. I mean, people say I'm beautiful when I morph to be, but me naturally..." Her voice trailed off as she searched for words she couldn't find.
Tonks looked back at him quickly to find him staring at her with a slightly bashful yet determined gaze. "You're more beautiful naturally than you are morphed." He said simply.
At this Tonks felt her face heat up and dropped her gaze again, unable to look at him. It was too much, as wonderful as it was to hear - she didn't know how to handle this side of Lupin, this side of herself, this vulnerability, this honesty. So she did what she did best: she joked about it.
"How do you know I've shown you what I really look like? Maybe I look horrid naturally." She said in a forcedly light way.
Lupin, however, refused to take the bait. "I've seen you sleeping, remember? The day of Harry's trial, once he'd left, you passed out on the couch. Sirius said you can't hold a morph while sleeping and he's right, which means that you don't actually change your appearance normally, except your hair color. But in some ways that is more honest to who you are, because unless you focus on it you hair changes by emotion, which-"
"Okay, okay, yes, you've seen me normally!" Tonks groaned, simultaneously hating and loving the fact that he was forcing her to digest his words. She felt, however, that since he'd been so honest with her, it was her turn to be honest in return. "It's just, no man has ever told me he likes the way I look naturally."
Tonks realized the second after she'd said it just how vulnerable that statement made her. Not only did it expose her insecurities - which were completely valid - but it also insinuated an interest in him. Or it seemed to, by her estimation.
Lupin, however, just looked incredulous. "Nobody?"
"Not other than my family..." Tonks admitted, once more unable to hold his gaze and instead focussing on her fingernails, which she was very tempted to chew nervously.
Lupin seemed to have other ideas, however, because he looked at her until she met his eyes. When she did, he told her in a very serious voice, "I think you're beautiful, Nymphadora. Without morphing."
Tonks looked at him and felt her face heat up as a series of emotions swamped her. She felt awkward at her lack of knowledge on what to say back, grateful to him for being kind, slightly incredulous that he was saying that, afraid she was dreaming, giddy that he thought she was beautiful, touched that he meant it...nobody had ever told her that before. Nobody had bothered.
She could make herself beautiful, yes, but all she really wanted was for someone to think she was beautiful naturally. And Lupin, apparently, did.
She felt her eyes threaten to fill with tears and was stunned - Nymphadora Tonks did not tear up. Yet something about Lupin's honesty, his earnestness...she felt truly beautiful when he looked at her the way he was looking at her.
But it was once again too much for her, so she stood up and, with a shaky smile, excused herself to use the restroom.
"If you're not back in five minutes I'm sending a search party." Lupin informed her, seeming to understand that she wanted to go back to their light, superficial conversation.
Tonks nodded, grateful, and weaved through the dancers towards the restroom, trying to collect her thoughts. As she walked by the bar, however, a hand grabbed her arm.
"Oh, look who it is!" A silky and altogether too familiar voice drawled. "Little Ms. Hard-To-Get, coming back for more."
Tonks turned with a shudder to find, sure enough, the haughty and insufferable man who'd tried to buy her a drink earlier smiling at her in a very disconcerting way.
"Don't flatter yourself." She spat, trying hard to think of a good way out of there.
"Whatever you say, babe." He said with a wink, leaning into her. She could smell the fire-whiskey on his breath and knew he'd be even more aggressive now that he'd had a few drinks.
"Don't call me that." She snapped, taking a deep breath. Don't hex him, don't hex him, don't hex him, she reminded herself. That would only cause a scene, and she needed to be discreet. To blend in.
"Okay, babe." He said with an arrogant grin.
Tonks once again took a steadying breath and then shook her arm from his grip and turned to head back to her table and to Remus. The lady's room could wait.
To her alarm, however, the man grabbed her arm again. "Let me buy you a drink."
The words didn't surprise her, but things had changed. His voice was much more demanding now. A growl. A command. He was not asking, and she could feel his nails digging into her arm even through her robes.
"No." She responded as firmly and calmly as possible.
He ignored her and steered her forcefully towards the bar.
"Let go of me." She spat, struggling to remove her arm from his grip without causing a scene.
"No, I don't think I will." He responded, voice cool and resolute.
"Let go of me." Tonks repeated, trying desperately to hide the fear and desperation in her voice.
She glanced over her shoulder but couldn't see Remus - he was hidden by the mass of people in the bar. She felt her stomach clench; he couldn't help her if he didn't know she needed it. And even though he said he'd come after her, she'd have to be gone long enough for him to worry before he would. By then she could've drawn attention to herself. She felt helpless and very, very foolish for leaving the table.
"You need a lesson in respect." Her dark-eyed companion was saying as he forced her onto a stool at the bar.
"Let me go." She said, mind reeling for a way out that didn't involve noise or violence. Her wand was at the table, with her bag...
"You see, it's a woman's duty to bend to the will of a man..."
Remus would come for her, she was sure, but by then...she didn't want to think of what would happen. She could accept the drink and let him have his dominance, and hope he'd leave her alone...
"And I just don't like your attitude..."
She could just wait for Remus, but what would her companion have done by then? The though made her stomach churn. And, worse, what would Remus think of her when he found her at the bar with some silky man, supposedly unable to take care of herself? Did she really need him to rescue her from this stupid situation? Was she really that incompetent?
"So you'll let me buy you a drink." The stranger finished dangerously, daring her to say something different.
Tonks' mind was still reeling as she said, "Let go of me," in her most deadly voice. How she wished she had her wand, or Auror badge, or anything...but she was alone. Helpless.
"I don't think I will." He responded mock-casually.
"Let. Go. Of. Me." She repeated, feeling completely incompetent.
She was just contemplating punching him the muggle way and dealing with the magical repercussions she was sure would come when a voice behind her made her heart skip.
"Let go of her."
A/N: Slightly cliff-hanger ending, though I'm sure you can all guess where this is going.
Anyway, how'd you like the chapter? Boring? Awkward? Too wordy? Letting me know helps me improve! As I said, I love reviews, even if it's just to tell me I leave insufferably long author's notes.
Thanks again for reading, chapter 3 should be up soon!
p.s. brownie points to anyone who recognized the hidden (and completely unintentional) 'four word phrase' ;)