2Ever since I started watching Lost, I have always seen Richard as Ben's father figure. Not only this, but to me it appeared they had a very close bond - one that very much resembled a father-son relationship. So, when Richard flew off the island, I was surprised by how very out of character it was for him and that he would leave Ben behind. In this fic, the two have a moment where they can let down their barriers and tell each other how they feel. It may seem out of character, and I suppose it is. These are two men who have never been able to clearly express how they feel about each other through words. Now they have their chance. There is NO slash in this fic.
"I loved you, Richard!" The declaration was so out of character for the short and scruffy man that Richard's only response was that of his eyes widening. "I loved you like the father I never had. Then you just go, leave me alone on the island. You jumped on that plane and you left. I always thought you cared." Richard stood there, unable to speak, his body frozen. Ben had just told him he loved him, that he was his father figure. The shorter man snorted bitterly, his eyes welling up as the silence continued. "You never cared, did you? You're just as bad as my real father was." His tone was scathing, accusing as Ben turned his back and began to walk away.
"I...I always knew you looked up to me." Richard started, still shocked by Ben's declaration. "I never knew how you felt. Why didn't you say?" Ben stopped, his shoulders hunched forwards defensively.
"I thought you knew, and I believed you loved me too." Ben's voice shook as he spoke, cracking under the emotion. Richard reached out, his hand longing to touch Ben's shoulder, to comfort him as he had done so many times when the shorter man was a child.
"I do, Benjamin. I've always loved you, I've always cared about you. Why else would I have saved you when you were a child? I have always cared." The Spaniard urged, his voice spoke the truth, his eyes begging for forgiveness. Ben turned around, his face carrying an expression of hurt and pain.
"Then why did you leave me?" He looked Richard in the eyes, his pain evident.
"I...I don't know. I was scared, I panicked. I wasn't thinking." Richard stumbled over his words, his usual calm and collected self had been lost in this conversation.
"It's not good enough. You're not a coward, Richard. You never were." Ben growled his patience thinning. Richard moved forward, his feet sinking in the thick sand that covered the beach. He almost ran towards Ben, his expression clearly one of regret. Ben looked confused as the older man approached, and the shock was evident on his face when Richard took him in his arms and hugged him, holding him close for what seemed like an eternity. In that moment, Ben let himself go, he wrapped his arms around Richard's waist and cried, his tears staining the other man's shirt. He felt like he was twelve years old again.
"I won't leave you again, Benjamin. I am sorry, truly." Richard whispered as he continued to hold his student and the man he had raised as a son. "I'm sorry."