Dear Roderich,

How long has it been? Since we last talked? Since you last held me in your arms? Since we laughed together? Two years hasn't it? It's been two years since I last saw you, since that horrendous day.

I still regret everything, I still miss you...and I still love you...it's true what they say right? That you never know what you have until you've lost it... I never understood that phrase, but I do now. I remember the day you signed the restraining order, when you dragged that pen across the paper and how my heart was torn. But then I saw that single tear. That's all it took for me to know that this hurt you as much as it hurt me.

I lay on these crisp white sheets wondering; add you okay? How're things going? How's my little boy? I feel bad I can't remember my own sons name, but that's what these new medications do to me. You know, you're the only reason I still take them. I hope that one day, I'll get clean, the order will expire and I can go live with you guys.

Love you, forever forever

Gilbert