Don't you dare say you know how I feel, because you know you don't. You don't know what it's like to be inlove with your enemy. Don't tell me you know what it's like to want someone you can't have, obviously you can't, everything in your life has been so easy. Your parents don't expect much of you. They just want what's best for you. My parents just want me to carry on the family name. They want it so fucking bad, they've already contacted Parkinsons parents AND The Greengass's. They expect me to marry one of them, have exactly one child, and carry out the family tradition. My father wants everything to be so perfect, he's been giving me lessons on Malfoy etiquette since before my first year at Hogwarts. You wanna know the first thing he taught me? The trademark Malfoy scowl.

But I don't want that. I don't want any of that. I don't want to marry Pansy or Astoria, only because they're rich and pureblooded. Hell! I'm not even sure if I like girls! Dammit! I wasnt supposed to say that! You werent supposed to hear that! Oh god, Blaise. Please don't tell anyone! If the word travels it'll get to my father and...and he'll kill me. Well...now that the cats out of the bag... I'm gay... What? You don't seem surprised. Well arent you shocked? Didn't you hear me? I said I'm gay! Oh well...

Back on topic. What should I do! I dont want to marry Astoria or Pansy. I wanna be with my black haired beauty- if we even were an item, which we're not. Thouugh, I think he likes me back. He keeps staring at me in class. Oh jeez I'm getting off topic again. My point is that you need to help me figure out what to do. I was thinking last night...what if I ran away? I could go to Spain or Germany, no one would recognize me there. But then what would I do about mi amor~? I can't just leave him here you know...I don't know what to do! If I leave, I'll solve the problem with my father, but worsen the one with green-eyes. Though if I stay, I might be able to fix the problem with father, but not with my love. Oh this is all just too much thinking! I'm just going to sleep. G'night Blaise. Blaise? Dugh. That bastard. Fell asleep on me.