My Immortal Rewrite! Now, I know how the commentary is such a fad nowadays, so I thought I would bridge out from the normal and try to rewrite this horrible mess. Now, I know it won't be perfect, but even if you say it's mediocre at best, I will consider it a huge change from the original and take it as a compliment. Onto the story!

Hello, my name is Ebony Ravenway. I have long black, silky, hair that reaches my mid-back. My family had this type of hair for generations, so my parents assumed that I would have the same, and thus named me Ebony. It was a bet I would not be willing to take, but luckily they guessed correctly and Ebony fits me. My eyes are an icy blue (another trait from my family), and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee from the band Evanescense, which I take as a compliment, considering I love that band. I'm a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts (where else?) in Scotland, where I'm in the seventh year.

I guess you could say I'm a goth, but I hate the stereotype and preferred to be called an individual with unique interests, although I do wear mostly black. I love the store Hot Topic and I buy most of my clothes from there. For example, I was wearing a shirt with a skull made out of flowers on it, paired with ripped jeans, all under my robes, of course. I was also sporting some daring and flashy red lipstick, white foundation, and a light purple eye shadow. As I was walking outside Hogwarts on my way to Herbology, it started raining. I quickly grabbed my umbrella, opened it, and kept on walking. Obviously there was no sun, which I was quite happy about, considering I burn easily. A lot people from different houses were staring at me, so I just gave them all a quick sneer, and kept walking.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was Draco Malfoy, the Casanova of Slytherin (I'm in this house if you hadn't figured it out all ready from context clues).

"What's up, Draco?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Nothing, just waiting for a pretty girl like you to come around." he said, giving his trademark smirk. I was about to give a retort, but I heard my friends call me and I had to settle for a quick glare.

Please tell me whether I should keep writing or not, because I'm not entirely sure whether this is good or not. Hmm…