1,797Author's Note: Good evening, everybody. Alas, the end. I know I said that I was gonna do a few more honeymoon chapters but honestly? I am completely out of ideas for this one and the best performers/writers know when it's time to take their bow and get off the stage. I have deeply enjoyed writing this story over the last 6 years (6 years? Holy shit! Jesus! LOL!) and I thank all of y'all for coming along for the ride. We end this story where we started it, inside the mind of Stephanie Plum. Well, Stephanie Plum-Manoso, now. Don't be sad about this one ending, though. Sanity is Relative is far from done and an update for that story will be up very soon. Thank you again for reading and have a good one! With love, ~*CMW2/Trumpetnista*~
Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"
"How'd he get in?"
"Picked the lock."
"How'd you get in?"
"Picked the lock...look, get yourself a couple of deadbolts...and lock that shit up."
-Ranger and Stephanie in One for the Money (2012)
8 Years Later...
Steph's POV
"Hi, Mami."
"...hi, baby. What're you doing up there?"
"I wanna be Spider-Girl when I'm grown up so I have to practice hanging and swinging upside down now. Papi says it's all about staying alert and rep...repe-tit-ion. I dunno what that word really means but since it's Papi and he's a superhero, I listened."
"Oh. Okay, then. Um, could...could you tell me how you got up there because I would really like to know."
"I used the bookshelves and tied these sheets like a rope so I could swing...am I in trouble?"
"No, no, I'm just...well, at least you didn't jump off the garage roof trying to fly like I did when I was your age."
"You did?"
"Uh-huh. I was 7 when climbed up there with nothing but a Wonder Woman cape and a dream. Instead of soaring through the air, I ended up breaking my arm and had to get a big ol' cast for the rest of the summer."
"Cool!"
"Not cool. It hurt really bad."
"Yeah, but at least you tried. Lots of people don't try. They get too scared and that makes them really sad later on."
"You're right. Do you want a snack?"
"Yes, please."
My heart leapt into my throat as Jacqueline Rose let herself spiral down and a relieved sigh escaped me as she landed safely on the ground. Coming to her, I helped her untie her ankles and get the rest of the sheets down from the chandelier. Jackie being Jackie immediately skipped out of the room and I followed behind her, chuckling as she slid down the banister. Other than Jackie, we call her Daredevil or Evil Knievel because our girl is fearless.
Bugs, snakes, frogs, heights, fire, nothing really fazes her, just like her father. And just like me, her biggest dream is to fly. She's smart about it, though. She will put on a helmet and knee pads. She has a first aid kit, complete with sparkling Hello Kitty Band-Aids. Her YouTube history is full to the brim of videos about climbing, jumping, flipping, and lately, makeup. It makes sense. She is a Jersey girl, after all and I'm glad that she's learning now instead of later. I remember when I first started wearing makeup and lemme tell you, Bozo the Clown didn't have shit on me. Okay, it was more like an extra in an early Madonna video but really, it wasn't good. I was a mess.
Jackie's also really into cooking, which is good because between me and Carlos, Val, and Ella, she has no shortage of people around to help her become a gourmet chef if she wants to. Opening the fridge, she pulled out a big hot sour pickle and a carton of strawberry Greek yogurt for dipping. The combo was her equivalent of peanut butter and olives. Stopping at the cookie jar, she grabbed a Tastykake and after settling at the main island of the kitchen, got an apple. I stuck with a Tastykake.
"When is Julie coming?"
"She'll be back from London on the 3rd. She'll be here for two weeks."
"And M.A. and Angie, too?"
"Yep. Angie's on summer break from school like you right now and M.A. doesn't have to report to Base until the end of next month."
"Where is she gonna go next? Will be able to visit her like we did that one time?"
"We'll see, baby."
"I hope so. The aircraft carrier was so awesome, cooler than anything ever and all of M.A.'s doctor and nurse friends were really nice. Is Angie gonna be a NAVY nurse or a regular hospital nurse?"
"She's going to be a physical therapist."
"Ohh, like Ms. Celeste who helped Grampy walk again after he broke his hip last year?"
"Uh-huh."
"I really liked her. She was nice and she liked Selina Kyle's CatWoman. She's the best one, especially the one from GOTHAM. She's my favorite character on the show. After her, it's Bruce, Alfred, Lucius Fox, Gordon, Bullock, and Dr. Lee. May I be excused?"
"You may. No more chandelier swinging, though."
"What about on my tire swing outside?"
"That's okay. Go wash your hands and take your book outside with you. Do you like it so far?"
"It's all right...I like that Nancy Drew helps people like you but she's kinda boring. Not to say that being smart is boring but where's the action? The fights?"
I laughed and replied, "She likes to use her brain more than her fists, Jackie."
"Mm. Lame...bye, Mami."
Jackie hugged me and I pressed a kiss to the crown of her head before letting her skip away. Unfortunately, she had inherited the crazy curls from me but her hair color was all Carlos, as were all of her facial features. She has my eyes, though. The Plum genes won there and I know that Edna Mazur's adventurous spirit will live on through her. Grandma Mazur passed away at 92 in the most Grandma way possible: mid-ride on top of her 69-year-old boyfriend during a trip to Atlantic City.
As devastating as it was to lose her, there had been more laughter than tears at her funeral. Her will demanded that after the Mass and public viewing, her memorial be a big neighborhood party. There had been a full Polka band, a barbeque (thankfully, not involving a destroyed vehicle!), a bonfire with s'mores and scary stories, and a lot of love. After her passing, Valerie and Bobby had decided to relocate to Miami with the girls, my dad going with them. Bobby ran the Infirmary down there and Valerie was the assistant to and eventual successor for Elena Guzman-Santos, Ella's sister and Lester's aunt.
Lester had accompanied them down there with Connie on his arm. Apparently, they had been doing a Friends with Benefits thing on the sly for years when the pregnancy test popped positive, everything changed and I gotta say it was for the better. Lester was still a horndog to the core but he's only got eyes for Connie and he's an amazing father to Zachary William.
Valerie had her third and final child down there, a little girl named Lisa. Due to complications, Valerie had decided to get her tubes tied with Bobby's full support. Lula and Tank stayed in New Jersey with us and had twin daughters, Hannah and Angelica, who were Jackie's favorite partners in crime and mischief. They were known as The Powerpuff Girls and absolutely adorable.
Although we still work in Trenton, we made our home in Hamilton Township. It's close enough to RangeMan but without being smack dab in the middle of Trenton's mayhem. Things had calmed down over the years but The Burg Grapevine's bullshit still existed. We made sure that when they were old enough to understand that we told our kids about Helen and Morelli but sometimes, there were problems with some of the older crowd. Of course, none of them were brave enough to say it to our faces but word still spread and some of the younger generation had tried to repeat history.
Mooch Morelli's only (legitimate) 11-year-old son Giovanni had tried to "claim" Jackie last year at his cousin's birthday party like Joe had done with me. Instead of a garage, he had tried it behind one of the bounce houses. Jackie had kicked his Boys into the mesosphere while screaming at the top of her lungs like Wolverine. By the time any of the adults could react, she had tackled him and Carlos literally had to pry her off of him. She had busted his nose, blackened both of his eyes, and a bloody fistful of hair had been in her hand.
Jackie had screamed at Carlos to let her finish. Giovanni wasn't bleeding enough. She wanted to rip all his boy parts off and make him eat them instead of the awesome chocolate-caramel ice cream birthday cake from the Cheesecake Factory. He didn't deserve to have any because he was bad and nasty and god, I had been so proud of her. And pissed. The Rhino stirred, stomped, and charged, making me yell at Mooch for not watching him. It had only gotten worse when Mooch gave me the same 'boys will be boys' bullshit I had to hear and tried to blame Jackie for being alone with him. Jackie had been minding her own business when Giovanni showed up. She hadn't followed him anywhere and even if she had, that didn't mean a fucking thing.
Mercifully, she had learned how to be smart and strong early. I wish I had. It would've saved me so much trouble in the long run. Better late than never, huh?
As angry as I had been, it was nothing compared to Carlos' rage. After calming our daughter down, he had volunteered to drive both Morellis involved to St. Francis so they could talk man to man. Well, man to sniveling, weak asshole and demon spawn.
He had taken the long way there, the very long way.
They got exactly what they deserved.
Mooch had to have his jaw re-wired and a shaken Giovanni had been sent to live with his mother in New York as soon as he was well enough to travel. The woman who hated Mooch's guts and regretted having a kid with him promptly put him in military school, washing her hands of him. Thankfully, Angie Morelli had kept the perspective she had gained after everything that happened with Joe and made sure the Burg knew that Jackie had done the right thing. Anyone who said otherwise would get the Eye from her. Bella had taught it to her before she succumbed to a massive stroke at 87 (3 months before Gram died) and it was more powerful than ever.
Whatever. Eye or no Eye, I'll take her being reasonable over how she used to be. At least Angie Morelli had learned her lessons before it was too late, which was more than I could say about Helen and Joe.
Joe hadn't lasted 2 years into his prison sentence before he was found dead in his cell. He had hung himself and his suicide note hadn't really taken any responsibility for his actions. There had been apologies in it but they were overshadowed by him saying how unfair it was that he had lost everything and all that jazz. Helen was still in the mental institution and although she wasn't catatonic anymore, she was still heavily deluded. She wasn't violent but it had been made clear to her that she would be spending the rest of her life in there, which she had grudgingly accepted.
As usual, her woes were everyone's, especially mine's, faults but hers but Que Sera, Sera...
The beep of the security system being deactivated made me smile and I walked out of the kitchen just in time to watch Carlos come home. His keys went into the silver dish, his jacket was hung up, and his hair was taken down from its ponytail. It was starting to gray, as was mine, but on him, it just added to his sexiness. He was still sleek and strong like a panther but now, he was a silver fox, too. I met him halfway and smiled into the kiss hello he gave me.
"Hey, Babe."
"Hey. You good?"
"I'm good. Where's Jackie?"
"Papi, you're home!"
This time when she slid down the banister, Carlos caught her and spun her around, making her laugh happily.
"Hi, carina (honey). Were you good for your mother?"
"Mostly. I scared her earlier. I figured out how to hang and swing from the chandelier in the office and although she didn't yell, I knew she was scared. I'm sorry, mami."
"It's all right, baby. I guess it just means we have to spend some more time at Flyers."
Flyers was a bounce house-gymnastics training facility that was one of the best in the region. My first major Deal after Carlos and I had gotten married was getting RangeMan the contract for their security. It was a match made in business and personal heaven. Flyers loved our service and not just Jackie but every RangeMan, local or visiting, would end up there to work out. Everyone in the family had a favorite activity and workout.
I loved the big trampolines and Jackie loved the trapezes.
Carlos loved to watch me jump and roll around on the trampolines, which usually led to us bouncing and rolling around in bed after a long, hot shower when got home.
It was a multi win situation.
"I'd like that. Do you have your book, Jackie?"
"Right here, papi. Mami said that swinging on my tire swing was okay."
"It is. Dinner will be at 7, okay?"
"Okay. Bye, papi."
"Bye...well, at least she didn't jump off of the garage."
"That's what I said. God, she scared the hell out of me. She's good but still..."
"You're her mother. You're always going to worry about her and that's what you're supposed to do. What are we doing for dinner?"
"Let's keep it simple. I went to Trader Joe's and they had sweet potato gnocchi so we can do that and some of that garlic tabbouleh stuff you brought home. It's amazing. What?"
"I remember when any vegetable outside of french fries or a bowl of pho made your eye twitch and now..."
"Shut it. I still don't like them like you do. If there's a choice between a meatball sub and a salad, the sub wins but I gotta eat right most of the time so I can stick around, isn't that right, Rex II?"
Rex the First finally passed away shortly before Jackie turned 2 and we had a full funeral for him, complete with a tiny American flag on padded his hamster treat box casket. Rex II joined our family a year later and had inherited his predecessor's Hamster Real Estate Empire. He had full Hamster Mansions in every place RangeMan was. Rex II had also inherited his love of cheese doodles, biting, and hiding in soup cans when things got too hairy. Currently, he was hauling ass on his wheel and I smiled as his cute little whiskers twitched.
"See, he agrees."
"He should. Life is better with you in it, Stephanie."
And Ranger sealed that declaration with a kiss that made my toes curl.
Of all the decisions I've made in my life, the best was kissing Carlos on that bright sunny day after saving him from being deep fried by my Lock Shock.
If I hadn't, who knows where I would've ended up.
I wouldn't have been nearly as happy as I am now or if I did, it would've taken so much longer.
Thankfully, I did the right thing and now, I have the life that I always wanted but never thought I could have.
I'm happy.
I may not be Wonder Woman but I'm happy.
I guess I ended up achieving my dream to fly, after all.
FIN.