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RJRRAA guessed right so a shout out to them!
The rest of the week things didn't really get any improve. Quinn and Sam still weren't talking, and she was still sporting the black clothing and pink hair. Still they snuck glances at each other when they thought no one was looking. Rachel showed up to school still wearing Puck's clothes not looking any better, but was talking a little more. She didn't sing though, just sat there eyes blank as Mr. Schue talked. She didn't even comment on Sugar's voice. Whenever Rachel looked at Puck she looked like she was going to cry, but managed not too. Sam looked tired.
Quinn was making her way under bleachers when she heard them. Sam and Rachel were sitting on the bleachers that she was standing under talking.
"You look like crap Rachel," Sam said and Rachel snorted.
"Thank you ever so much," Rachel said.
"Rachel, you need to tell Puck," Sam said his tone as serious as Quinn had ever heard. "It would make you feel better and maybe you would start wearing your old clothes."
"They smell like him," Rachel said her tone defensive.
"Maybe, but you look like a freak. The football players have even stopped picking on you because you look so pathetic," Sam said. There was nothing romantic about them at all Quinn noticed.
"What about you and Quinn?" Rachel asked.
"What about us?" Sam replied, "We broke up and now she won't return my calls. If she can't let me be a friend as well as a boyfriend than maybe we don't belong together."
"Oh please," Rachel said with another snort, "I give you another month before you run into each other's arms."
"Rachel, you need to tell Puck," Sam said again. "It is the only way to fix all this."
"He'll hate me," Rachel sniffed.
"Puck won't hate you," Sam assured her. Quinn's ears perked up. Maybe Rachel cheated on Puck, just not with Sam.
"Are you going to fix things with Quinn?" Rachel said obviously wanting to change the subject.
"Not till your fixed Rach," Sam said, "After that I know everything will be okay."
LQF
Quinn was shocked when Rachel came up to her after school. Quinn thought Rachel looked bad before, but she looked even worse up close. Puck's clothes swam on her.
"What do you want man-hands?" Quinn said resorting back to her old nickname for her.
"I need to tell you something," Rachel said looking at her feet, "I need to fix things." Quinn recognized the phrase that Sam had used on the bleachers. Quinn crossed her arms.
"I'm listening." Quinn said and Rachel looked around to make sure no one was close enough to her and took a deep breath.
"I broke up with Puck the day I found out I was pregnant," Rachel said and Quinn's eyes went wide. "I freaked out. I didn't know what to do so I panicked. I called Sam not long after. He moved in because he wanted to help."
"You don't look pregnant," Quinn pointed out, "You have obviously lost weight and isn't that the opposite of what you are supposed to do?"
"About three weeks ago…" Rachel took a deep breath, "I woke up and my sheets were bloody. I started screaming. My Dad's took me to the doctors and they told me I had miscarried. Since I was already a couple of months along I had to give birth to a stillborn baby," Quinn gasped, "It was going to be a girl. I lost his baby, Noah is going to hate me." Rachel started to cry and before Quinn knew she was doing hugged the shorter and let her cry into her shirt. Sam walked up to them and right away he knew that Rachel had finally told someone else. Quinn nodded at him and Sam nodded back.
LQF
"Are you sure you don't mind?" Rachel asked Quinn, "I know I need to start to handle things on my own, but I can't do this by myself."
"I am right here," Quinn said and smiled. She had gone back to her old clothes and no longer had the nose ring. Quinn hoped that now she was dressing like her old self, so would Rachel. Rachel and Quinn walked over to Puck who was putting things into his locker.
"Noah, can I talk to you?" Rachel whispered looking at her feet. Puck having heard her nodded. Rachel walked in the direction of the choir room. Puck looked at Quinn, and Quinn just smiled softly.
"What's wrong Rachel?" Puck asked as soon as they walked in. Quinn closed the door and stood in front of it.
"I…I…" Rachel looked at Quinn who nodded for her to go on, "I broke up with you because I found out I was pregnant. I panicked and I didn't know what to do so I broke it off."
"You're pregnant?" Puck managed to say. She was skin and bones, that couldn't be good.
"No," Rachel said shaking her head, "There was so much blood Noah…so much blood." The pieces began to fall into place. Rachel had miscarried.
"Rach…" Puck began to say.
"I lost her," Rachel said shaking and sobbing, "I lost her. I am so sorry." Puck hugged her and finally understood her behavior. She was blaming herself for losing the baby, and she thought he would hate her for it.
"It's okay," Puck whispered, "You're going to be okay."
Quinn snuck out of the classroom knowing that Rachel was okay with Puck. Sam of course was waiting outside.
"Like the clothes," Sam said and Quinn smiled.
"Didn't want to be Lucy or Quinn anymore," Quinn said.
"Glad your back," Sam said and then patted her on the shoulder before walking away.
"That's it?" Quinn said following him. "What about us?"
"Us?" Sam said, "Lucy you accused me of cheating on you, which hurt, and you didn't trust me. We can't be together if we don't trust each other." All Sam wanted Quinn to do was to trust him, and she hadn't.
"Sam..." Quinn started so say but Sam cut her off.
"Sometimes it isn't about you Lucy. Sometimes it is about me, or Rachel, or Puck. She needed me this summer Quinn, more than you did." Sam told her, "Remember when you told me that one time that you needed to be a friend to Santana more then my girlfriend at that moment? Well that is what it was like for me."
"Sam..." Quinn said again but Sam wasn't done.
"I can't do a relationship yet. You are the most important thing in the world to me, but that doesn't mean that other people don't need me too sometimes. I love you, but I...I...can't handle this right now." Sam said, "It's too much. I want to fix us, but I just need time."
"Sam…" Quinn tried one more time but he was already gone. Rachel and Puck came out of the classroom and his arm around her. Well that was one thing that was fixed, but Quinn didn't know how she was going to fix her and Sam. Quinn played with the ring around her neck and saw the ring on her finger. No way was she ever going to take these off again.
LQF
Everyone in Glee stared as Rachel stood in front of the class. She was still thin, but she was wearing her own jeans and t-shirt, but still had Puck's jacket on. Rachel never wore jeans so she still wasn't back to her old self. Her eyes were still haunted. Puck, Sam, and Quinn were all sitting in the front showing support for her. Rachel looked at Puck and then at Sam. Taking a deep breath Rachel finally spoke.
"It seems that the more people I tell the better I feel," Rachel began. "I know a lot of you thought Sam and I were dating which to let you all know it the grossest thing I can imagine," Rachel said making a joke for the first time in weeks and everyone laughed, "He is like my brother and I really wanted to clear that up for all of you. It's Fabrvans, not Samchel," Sam gave her a "What the hell" look that Rachel ignored.
"Thank you Rachel," Sam said and sunk down father in his seat.
"I am fixing things." Rachel said and then her face got serious. "A couple of weeks ago I had a miscarriage. A bad one, blood everywhere and I had to give birth to a stillborn baby because she was a couple months old." Rachel's eyes were red and tears were forming. Kurt gasped and took Mercedes' hand. Santana found herself for once feeling sorry for man-hands. Finn didn't know what to do. Sam and Quinn couldn't help but glance at one another but turned away quickly when they were caught.
"Rachel I am so sorry." Mr. Schue said and Rachel nodded and then took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"It's not my fault," She whispered to herself, "It's not my fault."
"It isn't your fault Rachel." Kurt said speaking up. The whole class nodded and got up giving her a huge group hug. Sam and Quinn found themselves next to each other, his arm felt so familiar around her. Everyone went back to their seats while Puck and Rachel remained.
"The best way I know how to deal with my feeling is to sing about it. I am ready to sing again." Rachel said and Puck gave her a kiss on the forehead and grabbed Sam's guitar and stood next to her. Rachel nodded to the band. Puck began to play the intro.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
Puck and Rachel sang the chorus together.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Sam and Quinn were looking at each other rather than Rachel and Puck. They didn't even bother to pretend otherwise. Santana and Brittney joined pinkies. Tina rested her head on Mike's shoulder.
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
The rest of the club joined in.
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
After the song was over Rachel looked up and smiled. The whole class clapped and Rachel continued to smile. Puck hugged her and just like that one of the golden couples was back together.
Finally things were looking up and Rachel seemed to talking and being more of her bossy self. Now she was determined to get into NYADA, and Puck was following her to New York which made Rachel ecstatic. When Puck told her that she cried, but they were happy tears. Sam was still living with her though because although she was improving, Rachel still woke up screaming sometimes.
"My Dads want to put me on anti-depressants." Rachel told him as they hung out in the guest bedroom that she had taken over. She didn't want to sleep in her bed or be in her room so Sam was now sleeping in the pink girly room. He felt like he was sleeping inside cotton candy. The only personlized part was the picture he had of his family and another one of him and Quinn. He fell asleep with his blond family smiling back at him.
"Maybe you should," Sam said carefully, it didn't take much to set her off now, "You are still in a lot of pain, maybe this will help you."
"I am glad Noah isn't mad at me," Rachel said.
"I told you he wouldn't be," Sam told her, "Puck loves you. He is going to New York for you Rachel." Rachel couldn't help but smile.
"I'm sorry," Rachel said playing with her hands, "What I asked of you was unfair. I ruined your relationship. I made you swear on Quinn's life you wouldn't tell, and I shouldn't have done that. I am so sorry. I was just scared."
"Lucy and I had a pregnancy scare last year," Sam said, "All I thought was, this could have been her, and I knew I had to help you. You're my best friend Rachel, I am always going to be here for you." Sam got up from his chair and sat on the bed next to her. There was a knock on the door. They looked up and saw Puck.
"Hey Baby, Evans," Puck said coming into the room. "I thought we could improve your Mario technique today." Rachel grinned and Sam smiled too, Rachel hadn't smiled like that in a long time. He excused himself and went into his room. Taking a deep breath he dialed the familiar number. Sam put the phone to his ear and said,
"Hey Lu."
….
What did you think? A tad depressing I know and I don't know really anything about miscarriages so just humor me please.
The reason Rachel was featured so much is because I believe that the only thing that could have made Sam and Quinn break up was their friendship. And the fact that this easily could have happened to Quinn last year when they had their pregnancy scare.
I know Sam is being dramatic, but I needed a reason for them to stay broken up. At least for now.
So the Puckleberry will cool down and they mostly will just be trying to help Rachel get through it. The miscarriage happened just before school started too so the wound is still fresh.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Keep it up reviews make my day!