Morrible: Oh, Miss Green Skin...
MANY YEARS I HAVE WASTED TEACHING IDIOTIC YOUNG ADULTS
FOR A LACK OF SELF CONTROL LIKE YOURS TO APPEAR
WHY I PREDICT THE FATTY COULD MAKE YOU HIS
ALL TIME, WORST NEMISES!
MY GREEN, MY GREEN,
I'LL WRITE AT ONCE TO THE FATTY
TELL HIM OF YOU IN ADVANCE SO WHENEVER YOU SHOW UP HE DOESN'T FREAK OUT ABOUT YOUR GREEN
WITH A TALENT LIKE YOURS, GREEN, THERE IS
A SLIGHTLY IMPROBABLY CHANCE
IF YOU DECIDE TO BRING YOUR PRETTIER ROOMMATE
YOU BE THE WICKED WITCH

Elphaba:
DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?
HAVE I ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD?
THIS WEIRD ROOMMATE I'VE TRIED TO KILL TWENTY TIMES
IS AN ASSET THAT COULD HELP ME MEET THE FATTY
IF I BRING HER
SO I'LL BRING HER
WHEN I MEET THE FATTY,
ONCE I PROVE MY EVILNESS,
AND THEN I MEET THE FATTY,
WHAT I'VE WAITED FOR SINCE
SINCE TWENTY SECONDS AGO!
AND WITH ALL HIS FATTY FATNESS
BY MY LOOKS HE WON'T BE BLINDED
DO YOU THINK THE FATTY IS FAT?
OR LIKE MUNCHKINS SO SMALL… ENDOWED? NO!
HE'LL SAY TO ME "I SEE WHO YOU TRULY ARE,
A GREEN ON WHOM I CAN RELY"
AND THAT'S HOW WE'LL BEGIN,
THE FATTY AND I
ONCE I FIGHT THE FATTY,
MY WHOLE LIFE WILL CHANGE,
'CUZ ONCE YOU FIGHT THE FATTY
NO ONE THINKS YOU'RE GOOD
YOUR FATHER IS NOT PROUD OF YOU,
YOUR SISTER ACTS ASHAMED,
AND ALL OF OZ HAS TO HATE YOU
WHEN BY THE WIZARD YOU'RE BANISHED
AND THIS CURSE OR THIS CURSE
THAT I HAVE INSIDE
MAYBE AT LAST I'LL KNOW WHY
WHY YERO'S HAIR IS SHINY
THE FATTY AND I
AND ONE DAY HE'LL SAY TO ME, "WICKED WITCH,
A GIRL WHO IS SO SUPERIOR,
SHOULDN'T A GIRL WHO'S SO BAD INSIDE
HAVE A MATCHING EXTERIOR?
AND SINCE FOLKS HERE TO AN OBSURED DEGREE
SEEM FIXATED ON YOUR GREENNESS
WOULD IT BE ALRIGHT BY YOU
IF I DEGREENIFY YOU?"
AND OF COURSE THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME
"PRAISE JESUS CHRIST!" I'LL REPLY
OH, WHAT A PAIR WE'LL BE
THE FATTY AND I
YES, WHAT A PAIR WE'LL BE
THE FATTY AND...
I'M SO HUNGRY, MY STOMACH IS LIKE SO HUNGRY
AND I'VE JUST HAD A SANDWICH ALMOST LIKE A HAM AND CHEESE
I KNOW
IT SOUNDS TRULY CRAZY
AND TRUE, THE SANDWICH IS HAZY
BUT I SWEAR SOME DAY THERE'LL BE
A CELEBRATION THROUGHOUT OZ
THAT'S ALL TO DO
WITH FOOD!
AND I'LL STAND THERE WITH THE FATTY
EATING THINGS I'VE NEVER ATE
AND THOUGH I'D NEVER SHOW IT
I'D BE SO HAPPY I COULD FART!
AND SO IT WILL BE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
AND I'LL WANT NOTHING ELSE 'TILL LUNCH TIME
I WILL EAT ALL THE BEANS
WHEN PEOPLE SEE ME THEY WILL EAT
FOR HALF OF OZ'S FAVORITE DISH:
THE FATTY...
AND I!