Disclaimer: I only own Shiro *cuddles a black mongoose* and you can't have him! Only Itachi can borrow him.

A/N: Pure random insanity on my part.


Orochimaru was happy, lounging on his throne in Oto. The Third was dead and he had managed to cause chaos and havoc in Konoha, but most of all, he had Uchiha Sasuke as a future body.

Yes, he was a very happy snake indeed.

Nothing could spoil his happiness.

Nothing at all.


Orochimaru sat up in surprise, "What was that?"

"What was what?" Kabuto asked from beside the throne.


"That!" exclaimed the Snake Sannin.

Kabuto pushed his glasses back up his nose, looking as his master as he said, "I am still unsure as to what you are referring to Lord Orochimaru."


"That, the chirping noise!" Orochimaru said, glancing around.

The Medic-Nin blinked in surprise, Chirping noise? What on earth? He thought before saying, "I cannot hear anything my Lord. Are you sure you're not hearing things?"


"There it was again!" Orochimaru cried, his eyes now franticly searching for the origin if the noise. "You're saying you can't hear it! I-I can hear it plain as day!"

Kabuto was becoming concerned, "I think you need to lie down my Lord, with all the excitement you must have overexerted yourself and have now started to hallucinate." He said soothingly.


"R-Really?" The Rouge Sannin was almost desperate to believe his servant, "It's just a hallucination?"

"Yes, now come, to bed we go." Kabuto replied, guiding his master toward his sleeping chamber.


Orochimaru shuddered when he heard the dreaded sound once more.

"It's all right. It's not real." Kabuto continued calmly as he helped Orochimaru into his bed. "Now, just close your eyes and sleep and it will all go away."


Kabuto pried his arm free from the death grip Orochimaru had it in then patted the Snake Sannin on the head softly, "Sleep."

Orochimaru snuggled down into his blankets and closed his eyes. Kabuto quietly left, satisfied.

He waited with his eyes closed.

There was nothing but silence.

Slowly he started to relax and drift off to sleep.

He felt a soft weight move up his body to his chest, but, in his drowsy state, passed it of as one of his beloved snakes.


Orochimaru's eyes snapped open and stared in mute shock at what was sitting on his chest.

He started to shake in fear as his eyes remained glued to the small, black, furry nightmare. He could see its sharp teeth, ready to tear him to pieces.

It stared back with its small reddish eyes. Then it tilted its head and … "Chirp."


The scream of absolute terror that ripped through the still night brought a smile to the lips of a certain S-Ranked Akatsuki member. His shark-like partner backed away muttering something about 'The impending Apocalypse'.

A small black creature ran up the Missing-Nin's cloak and settled on his shoulder, "Well done, Shiro." He said stroking its head.

"I still don't understand all of this Itachi-San." The shark-like Akatsuki member wined, "Why did you have to go and steal Wraith-Chan's pet ferret?"

"Shiro is not a ferret, Kisame. He is a mongoose and a snake's worst nightmare." Itachi explained calmly, "Also, I didn't steal him. Wraith let me borrow him, to quote 'torment the Pedo-Snake.'"

"So, you're all done now?" Kisame wondered.

"Oh, no. Not by a long shot." Itachi said with an evil smirk, "No one puts a curse-hicky on my baby brother and gets away with it. No one!"

The mongoose, Shiro chirped in agreement, having greatly enjoyed tormenting the Snake Sannin so far.


A/N: … Yeah.