Hello readers! This is the LONGEST story I've ever written, but before you embark on reading this, I suggest you put carrie underwood's what can I say on loop while reading the story. I haven't written in a very long time, forgive me, and most of my stories aren't very frequently viewed, but I've been busy this and last year, so bear with me Would also like to give a shout out to HushHush-angel for your very encouraging reviews to not only this story but my other stories as well I honestly thought I'd give up on this story since well I had a very discouraging number of reviews and reads… so thank you, and I hope you enjoy the alternate ending
How could he? I trusted him.
The rain was pouring outside, heavy water droplets pelted against my window relentlessly.
It was about 2.30 at night, Dimitri was running an all-night shift. I took out my diary and started to write.
Dear diary,
It's March 16th today. It is also the happiest day of my life.
today, I found out that I am carrying the child of the love of my life.
I'm ecstatic, as I know he will as well. He's always been a natural with children, and I am certain he's going to be a great father.
however, I worry that I'll take after my mother. What if I neglect my poor child? And I've been said to be very aggressive as well!
I don't know what to do now.
I want to be the best mother I can be to this child, my beautiful child, but what I turn out to be a monster?
some part of my mind tells me that I'll be fine, but would I really risk my child like that?
I like the sound of that. My child. Who would have imagined? Rosemarie Hathaway, soon to be Belikov, a mother?
oh did I forget to tell you? I'm not engaged to the one and only, Dimitri Belikov, lover of my life, possessor of my soul.
He proposed a few nights ago, I guess, being all caught up in the celebration, I forgot to mention that.
it was by far the sweetest proposal I had ever witnessed.
you wouldn't believe the state of euphoria I am in now. I don't think anything could ruin my mood.
yes, not even sparky. Oh, I also forgot to tell you, our dearest queen is marrying FIREBOY! Yes, soon they'll have little dragons running around, get it? Dragomirs that can wield fire like sparky? Eh? Eh? I crack myself up sometimes
anyway, Dimitri isn't home yet, and I couldn't sleep. Feels like -
I shrieked as lightning flashed across the sky, a bright light illuminating the darkness around.
Some thing churned in my stomach, and I knew something bad was going to happen tonight. I could feel it.
I tossed in my bed, trying to find a comfortable spot to settle in, but I knew I wasn't going to get any shut eye soon. So I got up, my shadow stretching across the room as I went to my window sill. Anytime now, Dimitri would be back, back into my bed, back into my arms. The rain came down hard, almost like it was pounding the earth for every crime it had ever made. A sick, cruel form of justice.
3.45am.
he wasn't home yet. Panic was slowly but surely starting to seep into my system. He's a trained guardian Rose, he can take care of himself, I said to myself, trying to ease my overwhelming fear. I could feel my heart beating slightly too fast, cold sweat starting to break out across my forehead in anxiety. I bit my lip, should I go out and look for him? What if he's just patrolling again?
Indecisiveness consumed me. I sat on my bed, still at war with myself. Unable to keep still, I begun pacing around my room, running every possibility of his whereabouts through my head. I'm overreacting, I told myself, but somehow, the fear kept gnawing at me. Enough is enough, I decided. I grabbed my coat and headed to the door. Just then, I saw a shadow move, in my peripheral vision. Sensing something amiss, I grabbed my stake from my bedside drawer and crept next to my bedroom window. An all too familiar shape emerge from the trees. I sighed in relief, and headed downstairs to greet him, but right before I left, I saw another shadow. The shadow belonged to someone I knew, but I couldn't quite place my finger on it. Curiosity and suspicion filled my mind. Who could that be? Why are they out there in the pouring rain? Why are they out there at this insane time?
With a million questions running through my head, I continued watching, and now, I wish I hadn't.
The two figures drew nearer together, one in sheer frustration, the other, looked like it was pleading. Dimitri and who? What was going on? suddenly, Dimitri's posture went slack, and then, the two figures were embracing each other.
It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. At first, incomprehension set in, as I struggled to acknowledge the scene before me. Disbelief replace confusion. How could this man, the man who just proposed to me a few nights ago be doing this? Another flash of lightning lit up the world for a split second. TASHA. It was tasha? Tasha. TASHA? Anger fuelled me. HOW COULD THE MAN, WHO'S BABY I WAS CARRYING BE DOING THIS? All of a sudden, it was like I was being drained, but a strange calm set over me. Like as if a blanket covered my emotions. With a resolve that I didn't know I had, I tore my eyes away from the heart-breaking scene, and began to move. I grabbed his duffel bag from the closet, and began filling it with every possession he owned. Clothes, books and even his spare stake. With an eerie tranquillity, I walked towards the door, and headed downstairs. It was like I wasn't in control anymore.
Just as I reached the bottom step, he stepped into our house. No, my house. And just like that, the cloud of daze that he was in lifted. He stared wide-eyed at me, as if trying to understand why I had all his things in a bag, and what he just did. "Roz-" before he could even finish what he had to say, I lifted my hand, gesturing for him to stop. I dropped his bag at his feet and stared up at him. The look of pain and anguish on his face would have made me cry, but right then, I didn't even know what I was doing. Slowly, never break eye contact, I removed the engagement ring he gave me, and set it in his palm, curling his fingers around it. "Go," I said, voice firm and cold, sounding almost robotic. "Please, just liste-" he begged, but I wouldn't hear it. It was like the curtain of calm had lifted, and I screamed "GO!"
He stared at me in shock, tears running freely down both our faces now. He looked like he had more to say, but I guess the look on my face said everything already. He turned around, opened the door and stepped out, but right before he left, he whispered something that haunts me until today. "you've got it all wrong Roza. I love you"
Piercing Words, Eyes Are Red
Watched Your Taillights In The Rain
Empty Heart Filled With Regret
I Know We Were Both To Blame
With that, I saw him get into his car and drive away, and I stood there standing, looking until his headlights disappeared into the distant fog. Then, I felt my heart breaking. I collapsed there, on the front porch, and it felt like I couldn't breathe.
And I'm Not Sorry That It's Over
But For The Way We Let It End
So I Said All I Had To Say
In Letters That I Threw Away
A few years had passed before I saw tasha again, and needing answers, I asked her about it.
Dimitri was right, I had gotten it wrong. Tasha never knew about Dimitri and I. she had asked him to test something out with her.
they had been high school sweethearts, and tasha wanted to know if they still felt the spark they use to. So she compelled him. He was right. I did have it completely wrong. Tasha apologised though, but I still hate her. The last I heard of Dimitri was that he went back to Russia, and is now in rehab for drinking. His mom called me a few times, saying he had gone insane, screaming my name in his sleep. My heart kept tearing every time she called.
Do you remember when I was packing his stuff? There was one thing I left out. His duster. Now, our five year old sweetheart, Nadezhda, meaning hope in Russian, sleeps with the only thing she holds of her father every night. I wrote letters to him, everyday, about her growth, from the first time I went to see her picture on the monitor with Lissa till now, but I never had the courage to send them. They stayed in a box in my room. I tried calling him a few times, but every time someone answered, I'd hang up.
And You Should Know, Please Believe Me
I've Picked Up The Phone A Thousand Times
And Tried To Dial Your Number, But It's Been So Long
It's Never Easy, It's Like Tryin' To Spin The World The Other Way
What Can I Say?Today we were moving out. It's time for a change in scenery. A time to start a fresh. As I packed everything into the last box and loaded it into the van, I buckled Nadezhda into her child seat and went in to take a final look around.
I went up to our old room, reminiscing the love I felt in here, and chanced upon something. It was my box of letters. Picking it up, I gently traced every crevice of the wooden box, and opened it. A familiar lullaby began to play, it was the lullaby he always sang to me. A familiar pain stabbed my heart. He gave this to me on our first dating anniversary. I smiled at the memories as tears rolled down my face. Little did I know who was watching from outside the house. How Did It Come To This?
I Think About You All The Time
It's No Excuse, But I Wish
That I Never Made You CryI walked out of the room with the box, drying my tears along the way, and to put it with the trash outside. It's time to start a fresh Rose. No need for the past anymore, I told myself, painfully parting with my last memory of him.
That's when I smelt him. Heard him. Saw him.
The fragrance of his aftershave hit me a like 40 wheeler, it was like water to my soul. My eyes drank him in, and I could feel myself becoming complete again. After 3 years of his absence, my heart was mending again. I stopped and stared. There was nothing else I could do. He stepped in, slowly and cautiously, as if afraid that I would disappear.
Time seemed to come to a standstill, and the universe seemed to wrap around the two of breathing filled the room. The tension in the air was strange. Almost fearful and happy at the same time. We just looked at each other, for what seemed to feel like days.
He'd changed. He looked more...masculine. disheveled almost. His 5 o clock shadow looked darker, more pronounced and his hair had grown past his chin and to his shoulders, looking like he hadn't brushed it in days. He looked like he'd worn the first things he could find before rushing out of the house, with his crumpled shirt and faded jeans. And yet, he still managed to look like a god.
OH MY GOD DIMITRI IS STANDING IN FRONT OF ME WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING JUST STARING?
I regained my senses slowly, taking a few steps towards him, until I stood right before him.
I lifted my hand, hesitantly to touch his face. What if this was a dream, and I'm going to wake up and find myself alone in bed?
A thousand thoughts ran through my head, but I decided, if I were to dream about him, I might as well get the most out of it.
I stroked his face with my fingertips, and stared at my hands in shock. He felt so real. So soft and warm beneath my fingers. Feeling bolder, I cupped his face with the palm of my hand, and to my utter surprise, he closed his eyes and leaned into it, letting out a sigh of relief. Before I knew it, I was sobbing. This seemed to get Dimitri out of his reverie as well. Without a word, he reached out and pulled me into his embrace. Oh how I missed this. We pulled back, and I immediately got lost in the depths of his dark brown eyes. He reached up and wiped the tears from my cheeks. when had I started crying? A bubble of laughter escaped my lips as I realized the idiocracy of it all. Here I was, planning to make a new start, when the love of my life breaks out from my past.
"mama?" a small bewildered voice came from my right, and we both turned to her. Nadezhda stood there, confusion causing her eyebrows to scrunch together. She looked like one of them girls that came straight out of a picture book with her dark brown eyes and wavy hair that no doubt came from her father. A smile crept onto my face. As if she already met him, she screamed "DADA" and ran towards him, arms stretched out to hug him. He pulled out of my embrace, and knelt to the grown to pick up his baby girl. I brought my hands up to my heart. Never did I ever imagine that they'd meet each other. The water works didn't stop. It couldn't' stop. I knew I was smiling like an idiot, but who wouldn't be?
Dimitri picked her up and spun her around, his arms wrapped tight around her, and a full-blown smile plastered on his face. they were a picture of pure love, despite this being their first meeting. She had her arms around his neck, holding on for dear life, afraid he would be gone. A sob escaped my lips, and the both of them stopped to turn and look at me.
"Mama, come here. Daddy's home!" she whispered excitedly, her eyes shining with joy. Dimitri had tears running down his face as he extended his hand towards me, still holding Nadezhda in his other arm. I almost ran into his arms.
The world began to colour again. The black and white and shades of grey seemed to disappear. The soft pitter patter of a sun shower could be heard outside. No words could fully describe the way I was feeling. It was like heaven on Earth. I traced the outline of Dimitri's face, leaning my head against his chest as he held me and Nadezhda in his protecting arms.
"Are you staying Dada?" my darling daughter asked. I looked up at Dimitri through my lashes, curious to know the answer too. I wouldn't be able to stand it if he left again. His gazed locked with mine, questioning. "Dada?" Nadezhda asked again, patting his cheek to draw his attention. He leaned down and kissed her little button nose.
"Of course my milaya. I mean, if it's alright with your mom…?" He looked at me again, cautiously hopeful. Should I? what if he leaves us again? I would be crushed, but I wouldn't be the only one now. What if he leaves Nadezhda? I million thoughts ran through my mind, and I was at war with myself. Sensing my hesitance, he put Nadezhda down, and asked her to go back to the car. I closed my eyes, not knowing how to respond. A sharp tug at the hem of my shirt caused me to look down into her eyes, a carbon copy of her father's. "don't be rash mommy. I want my Dada here. I love him. And you do too." With that she ran off, leaving me bewildered. That side of her DEFINITELY came from Dimitri.
"Roza..." it was like yet another switch flipped inside of me as I yanked his hair, so that his face was at my height, and crushed his lips to mine. Warmth spread through my body as he wrapped his arms around my waist and carried me up. I threaded my fingers through his hair, weaving them into his silken locks. One of his arms stayed securely under me, supporting me, while the other crept under my t shirt, tracing circles into my back. Hours and days could have passed, and I wouldn't have noticed. Finally, as like how all things come to an end, he put me down.
"Stay. Stay and don't ever walk away from me again. Even if I ask you to." I whispered, suddenly finding interest in the floor. I could feel his gaze on me, and he put a finger under my chin and lifted the face to look at me.
"Never again. I promise."
His eyes were burning with passion, filled with love, glistening with honesty.
In that moment I realized that I'd be complete again. I had Nadezhda. I had Dimitri. I had my life back. And they were all I'd ever need, they were all that I've ever really needed. With that, I took his hand and led him to the car. Sure I'd still be moving away from my past. Only this time, I was taking my future with me.
How was that for an alternate ending? I was actually struggling because, if you've read my other stories and noticed, I'm not very good at writing happy endings….. I'll REALLY REALLY appreciate your thoughts and opinions on it. And if you think of OTHER plot endings, I'll be willing to take that into consideration and write YET ANOTHER ALTERNATE ending. That's the beauty of writing, there are so many options eh? But anyway, THANKS FOR READING. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. I love you guys! 3