I don't own JTHM but I do role play him here! twitter-dot-com/HappyNoodleBoy6

Johnny was made fun of his entire life as the skinny, eccentric, artsy kid. ESPECIALLY in high school. He was given nicknames like "fagget" and "noodle boy."


One day a 15 year old Johnny saw a styrofoam Pillsbury Doughboy on display in Doughnutz N' Stuff and asked if he could have it. The guy behind the counter gave him a look and slowly handed it to him. Nny took it home and painted it. (Later known as Psycho-Doughboy.)


Depression grew.

He hated society. He had no "real" friends growing up, just imaginary ones, except for one girl: Tezni V. She was the gothic cashier at Beefy Burger's while he was in junior high. That's how they met. They dated for a while and Nny was extremely happy with her. One day Tezni gave him a present: a Beefy Burger Boy statue (later known as Reverend Meat.) Oh what a couple they were! One night they did "it." Johnny was so shocked that she asked HIM out of all people to do "it!"


17 year old Johnny found another styrofoam Pillsbury doughboy in the trash can behind Doughnutz N' Stuff He took it home and painted it. (Later known as Mr. Fuck/Eff.)


A month later Tezni cheated on him. She did "it" with another man. She told Nny that he "fucks better." One day he saw her walking down the street with her "pretty little little friends." Laughing, smiling... He He hated it.

Did the Doughboys just blink?

They couldn't have right?

They're made of styrofoam!

He walked over to where they were displayed in his room.

"Johnny, her kind don't belong in this world! Teach her the wrongs of her ways!"

Did Eff just speak?

He couldn't have... could he?

Nothing makes sense in this fucked up world.

Johnny creeped down to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and got into his car. He drove to Tezni's house, an address he knew all too well, and parked out back. The door was so generously unlocked, as if it wanted this to happen. No. It NEEDED this to happen! Slowly tiptoeing around in the shadows, Nny made his way to her room. A room he remembered oh so well. He could hear faint moans from the other side of the door. Idiotic whore. (Oh hey that rhymes!) He knocked (well of course he he knocked, Its rude to just barge in on somebody!) on the door before entering 3 seconds later. The couple in the bed were startled by the sudden visitor. "Johnny? What the HELL are you doing in my house!" Tezni demanded. "Just paying a little visit is all." was his response. Foolish humans. Unaware that their fate is sealed..."A "visit!" At MIDNIGHT! How the hell did you even get in!" "Your door was open. Thank you for that by the way! It made getting in so much easier!" "I'M CALLING THE POLICE!" She tried to reach her phone off of the nightstand but before she could, Johnny grabbed it and threw it across the room where it broke into a million pieces because it's the 90's and and mobile phones were crappy back then. Meanwhile the dude in the bed was wondering what's happening because the blood in his brain went awol. Johnny smiled.

"I can't let you interrupt my "repair work" Tezni." "Re-repair work? Johnny what are you s-saying! JOHNNY!"


When Johnny left her house that night he was shaking like a leaf. He had just killed someone- no, TWO someone's! Or Maybe he didn't really do that at all! Maybe "killed" WASN'T the right word for the current situation. Of course not! Johnny was no mindless killer! He ended them- and it felt so fuckin' good! But what now? The deed was done, the goose was cooked... HE KILLED TWO PEOPLE! THEY'RE DEAD! DEAD BY HIS HANDS! He got back in the car and laid his head on the steering wheel, staining it with red that wasn't his.

"Well done Nny, I'm impressed." The voice named Mr. Fuck said. "I... I just... k-killed two people... I FUCKING KILLED TWO PEOPLE GODDAMMIT!" "And did you enjoy it?" "N-no how- YES! YES I ENJOYED IT! SO MUCH! SO VERY MUUUUCH, oh god..." He started to cry on the steering wheel. (Yes Nny can cry shut up!) "What do I do now?" he sniffed. "Well you could always kill yourself" the other voice, Psycho Doughboy suggested. "No. Not yet anyways..." "Run away Johnny! Run away and never come back!" That was "Eff's" idea and at that moment it sounded like the only option Nny had. He started the car and drove to anywhere.

Eventually he found a long since abandoned house. He lived in that house for three years. During that time he purchased a bunny, found many rooms in his house and killed a shit ton of people... and the bunny. He killed the bunny by hammering a nail into it's gut because it "looked at him funny." His cause of death had rewarded the rabbit with the name "Nailbunny."


One day when Johnny was tending to a few of his "guests" in the basement, he heard a strange noise coming from behind one of the walls. It didn't sound like like pipes hissing or rats scurrying, it sounded like... slimy tentacles. Slimy tentacles and deep raspy whispering in a tongue unknown to man. Strangely, this wall drew much attention to Nny. What was behind it? Did he REALLY want to know?

According to the Doughboys there's a monster behind that wall and the only way to keep it detained is by painting the wall with human blood. The next day Nny painted a HUGE pentagram on the wall for no reason other then the fact that it looked really fucking cool. The day after that he he painted a giant eye on it.


A year later and nothing much has changed other then Johnny's artistic talent, which is kind of allot actually. He was having serious artist's block when Psycho Doughboy suggested that he draw a stick figure or something simple in the meantime. Nny, stupidly, agreed to this and thus gave birth to Happy Noodle Boy, the world's most annoying stick figure! He did this despite Nailbunny's protests.


When Nny painted the wall, ever since he could remember, he just covered the entire thing solid red and nothing more. He could hear the faint mastication from the other side.


The moving truck pulled into the driveway of the house across the street. The movers began to unload the truck. There was one large guy and one skinny guy moving the boxes in. Then some people came out of the house. There was a man, a women and a little boy clutching a teddy bear. "I should make it my business to introduce myself sometime." said Nny who was watching it all through his boarded-up windows.


"Y-you! YOU BASTARD!" Everyday he same routine, it makes them seem even more idiotic then they already are. "YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" "Oh? So you'll be the one doing the killing hm? Shut up. Don't waste your last breaths on idiocy."This last comment REALLY set the guy off. He lunged himself at Nny who ended up getting knocked into a set of knives hanging on the wall. Johnny gabbed two of the knives and leered over the man. "As I said before, don't waste your last breaths on idiocy." That was the end of that guy. Johnny felt something warm trickle down his forehead. He put his hand on it and removed it to see blood on his finger tips. "I wonder if the little neighbor boy has any Bactine I could borrow…"


"*sigh* it's so pretty when your looking DOWN on it." "Yes, it is. It's an amazing illusion." Johnny had been visiting Devi D. at the bookstore where she worked for about a month now and she finally decided to ask him out. Johnny would have made the move first but... something was holding him back. It's as if something like this has happened to him in the past... but what? Who knows. "Would you like to go to your place?" at first he was a bit hesitant, but eventually he replied with a simple "Yes." They sat on his couch for a while talking about the movie they saw that night and other such things. "Um... Devi?" "Yes?" "Why did you ask me out? Why did did you want to go out with me?" "It's simple; I LIKE you. I enjoy our talks, when you come visit me at the bookstore. I like you for ALL those reasons people ask a person out for." Johnny was somewhat surprised. No one had ever said anything that nice to him before. Maybe. "I'm so completely happy right now. You've made me happy." "Good. Then let's BOTH be happy." Happy. Something Johnny hadn't felt since... When? It had to stay this perfect forever. He ran into another room and consulted the Doughboys. It starts now. He picked up a pair of knives off the table just as Devi walked in. "Nny? Nny, what are you doing?" "IMMORTALIZING THE MOMENT." Johnny made his move but in a quick, swift motion Devi knocked him out and ran off. So much for "love."


When Johnny died, the wall monster escaped due to the lack of the wall being painted. Did you know that for every stroke you make on the wall they take a small part of you away? I guess Johnny found that out to late huh? One day someone else will have to face them. One day someone will go through the same pain Nny did. Or maybe, just maybe, she'll figure out a way to outsmart them.


Dear Die-ary, Some say that the stars can tell the future.

Is it possible that they can hold the past as well?

- Johnny C.