A/N I am not good at summaries, as you could see before you clicked on this story. This is about my take on the date between FemShep/Kaidan on the Citadel and what happened afterward. It is a oneshot though I may add to it if the mood strikes me.

Remember that Everything Mass Effect, including Kaidan (Damnit) belongs to Bioware, I am just playing with their toys for a bit.

Enjoy the story, and please read and review. Note I do not have a beta at this time, so I own any mistakes found here. Kyria


A date, a freaking date, how was Shepard, N7, first human SpecTRe, Alliance Lieutenant Commander, Captain of the SSV Normandy supposed to handle a date? Especially a date with Kaidan Alenko, the man she was already head over heels in love with and had been for three years. Well only one year if you took into consideration that two of those years she had been dead. She knew better than to ask any of the other women on board the Normandy, they would try to get her to dress up and act different from who she really was, and if Commander Shepard disliked anything it was playing games. That would be why she didn't normally date, Kaidan was an exception though, apparently having done the relationship thing with him out of order he had slipped under her defenses. Something now she was grateful for, she couldn't say how her life would have been different if she hadn't met and fallen in love with him.

So here she was, on the Presidium Commons heading to Apollos to meet Kaidan for a date. Well the email had sounded like a date, surely it was a date. She stopped a worried look crossing her face. What if it wasn't a date, what if he just wanted to be friends, go back to before things went anywhere near their previous relationship. What if he had really moved on? Shepard quickly clamped down on that thought, after all the conversations they'd had, she had to believe that he was feeling out the water just as she was. She started walking again, turning into the courtyard and made her way to Apollos, spotting Kaidan sitting with his back to her looking out over the vista that the courtyard faced. She stopped, taking in the sight of him sitting there quietly. She smiled and walked over, taking the seat next to him.

Kaidan glanced up as Shepard settled into the chair. "Surprised this place can still get supplies for a menu like this." He commented quietly.

"Maybe it's better if we don't ask how… or where." Shepard replied, picking up her own menu.

Kaidan smiled, setting his own menu down. "I'm glad we're taking the time to do this. I could use a sanity check."

"Things have been pretty crazy." Shepard replied, turning her attention to Kaidan.

Kaidan paused, thinking. "You know, my life flashed in front of my eyes on Mars – and there weren't enough moments like this, with people I care about."

Shepard met his look, smiling in understanding. "How are you feeling these days?" she asked, choosing to keep the conversation neutral for the moment.

"Feeling up to whatever the Reapers throw at me." He replied, before meeting Shepard's eyes. "And grateful that I convinced you to sit down for half a second and relax." He finished softly.

Shepard leaned toward Kaidan, her own gaze never leaving his. "Yeah, I think it's a good time for us to have a heart-to-heart." She smiled again, "What are you drinking?"

Kaidan chuckled, "If you're trying to butter me up, it might take a nice steak sandwich, too."

Shepard smirked, "So…"

"Shot of whiskey and a good old Canadian lager. Think they have that?"

Shepard glanced at her menu and back up humor sparkling in her eyes. "More likely to have Batarian Shard Wine."

Kaidan nodded, "At my parents place in Vancouver, drank more than a few beers on their balcony, looking over English Bay." He said quietly, his look becoming pensive. "Yeah, beautiful view… You know what, though? I feel good about our chances." He finished hope flashing in his dark eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Lets me sleep better at night." He replied quietly.

Shepard took in his face, the quiet strength he had always exuded. "You not sleeping, Kaidan?" she asked worriedly.

"Maybe a little restless…" he replied, stopping to gather his thoughts. "The war isn't the only thing keeping me up at night… I wonder about us." He blurted out, turning his gaze back to Shepard hopefully.

"Us?" she asked pensively.

Kaidan took a breath, determination settling in his features, "I love you, Shepard. I always have." He responded quietly, his gaze locking with hers. "I want to understand what this is between us… and make it real." He said quietly, a soft sigh escaping his lips as he finished. "That's… that's what I want. What do you want?" he asked softly, a tinge of uncertainty clouding his voice.

Shepard felt a happiness she hadn't felt in it seemed like forever. "I can't bury what I feel for you anymore. And I don't want to." She told him, her eyes sparkling a little with emotion.

Kaidan let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding, taking her and between his, a smile lighting his features and he leaned close to Shepard. "And that… makes me so happy." He said softly, placing her hand against his cheek. "And there are benefits to that happiness…" he finished softly, placing a soft kiss on the palm of her hand. He released her hand with a soft chuckle. "But more on that later." He smiled, setting his and over hers on the table.

The touch of Kaidan's lips against her palm was like an electrical charge surging through her. The comment about later leaving a warm trail through her body. "Later?" she asked perplexed. "We need to get back to the Normandy, ASAP." She replied, suddenly wanting to continue what he had started.

Kaidan smiled, "Ah yeah, too late. Our drinks are here, and I am going to take my time." He said lightly sitting back as the waiter put the drinks on the table.

Shepard shook her head, somehow Kaidan had made that last line sound like more than it appeared on the surface. "What'd you call it? A sanity check?"

Kaidan nodded, once again pensive, "hmmm… sanity check"

Somehow Shepard managed to get through dinner without actually jumping Kaidan, how she wasn't sure, now they were walking next to each other through the Commons. Occasionally bumping shoulders as they walked, other times their hands brushing together. Shepard was still riding an emotional high from the quiet evening spent in Kaidan's company as well as from the affirmation that whatever they had started during the hunt for Saren three years ago was still there in spite of her death and the problems caused by her having to work with Cerberus a year ago. She glanced over as Kaidan took her hand and pulled her down a side corridor. "Where are you taking me now?" she asked, slightly annoyed because she had wanted to get him alone.

Kaidan smiled, "I have an apartment a lot closer than the Normandy and a lot more private," he told her, leading her along several back stairwells and corridors until they came to a single door, tucked back away from the other apartments on that level. Tapping a quick code on his omnitool, Kaidan stood back as the door slid open, indicating Shepard should go in first.

Smiling shyly, Shepard stepped into the small apartment. It wasn't much, just a quiet place set up to accommodate a bachelor officer who was more inclined to work at home than relax. "Wow, not a bad set up, and nice view," she said as she noticed that the large window in the main room looked over the Presidium Commons.

Kaidan smiled, watching as Shepard walked around the room taking everything in, then moving behind her when she stood in front of the window. "I remember how we both liked looking out over everything that went on here, so when this place came available I jumped at it, it let me have the peace and quiet I wanted as well as allowing the better memories of our time together to hang around." He whispered, "I missed you so much Shepard." He sighed into her ear as his arms snaked around her waist to pull her back against his chest. "I missed having you here; I missed hearing your voice, seeing your smile."

Shepard closed her eyes against the sudden surge of emotion. "I never meant to hurt you Kaidan, I didn't mean to die." She replied softly, almost to quiet for him to hear. "I woke up on a lab table, and my first thought wasn't why were things blowing up around me, but where were you."

Kaidan placed a soft kiss against her neck, just below her ear. "I wish I could have been there for you, but I am here now. So let me show you how happy I am to have you back in my life."

Shepard turned around in Kaidan's arms, meeting his gaze, "Only if I get to show you how happy I am to be back where I belong." She responded smiling.

Kaidan smiled as he moved slowly, his lips at first just lightly caressing hers, each brush a bit firmer than the last, until he finally took full possession of her mouth. His tongue sliding along her lips a silent request for entry. Swallowing the soft whimper Shepard made as Kaidan's tongue slipped into her mouth, caressing her own tongue. His hands sliding up her back and across her shoulders, the self-control of years of making sure he didn't lose control suddenly paying off by allowing him to enjoy Shepard, the feel of her body against his own, the feel of her mouth under his, her tongue dancing with his, allowing his desire to build, but not overcome the moment.

After what seemed like hours, they broke apart in need of air. "I thought you were going to take your time Kaidan." Shepard smirked.

Kaidan ran his hand along her shoulder to her neck, "Oh I have every intention of taking my time, I plan to take all the time in the universe getting reacquainted with your body," his lips brushed hers, "your heart" his hand caressed across her left breast "and your soul." His lips moved across her jaw to her ear, nipping the lobe lightly. "I am going to take my time and make sure I know every way to make you whimper, moan and scream my name." He whispered into her ear, feeling her shudder with every emphasis. His lips once again starting to move against her skin, his tongue and teeth teasing the soft flesh along her neck and throat, dragging out the most delicious sounds he had ever heard from Shepard.

Shepard was pleased by the way Kaidan took control of the physical aspect of their reunion. Before they had more or less both been equally in control of their physical relationship, now though, he was taking the lead, he was the one making her feel, and she found she truly wanted it that way. "Kaidan" she whimpered as he pulled her shirt from the waistband of her pants, sliding his hand underneath it to caress the bare skin he found there.

Kaidan stepped back, and pulled the shirt up and over her head, tossing it on the floor and moving her back until her back was pressed against the window. "I love you, Shepard," he whispered, his hands moving over the soft flesh of her body, his mouth following suit. He pulled her tightly against him, bringing her slightly away from the glass wall behind her, and quickly undid her bra, tossing it alongside her shirt on the floor. "You know you look great in uniform, but I think that uniform looks much better on the floor," he growled as he slid his hand over her breast, teasing the already puckering nipple with his thumb.

Shepard was suddenly overloaded with sensation, the cool air of the room on skin flush and heated with desire, the cold solid feel of the glass on her back, the heat of Kaidan's mouth and hands on her body, she felt as if she were going to melt into a puddle and freeze solid at the same time. She moved her hands along Kaidan's sides until she reached the top of his pants. She grabbed a handful of the shirt there and pulled it, eager to feel his skin against her own.

Kaidan chuckled softly, "Not so fast love. I meant it, I am going to take my time showing you how much I missed having you in my life, my arms and my bed."

Shepard growled in frustration as Kaidan moved her hands over her head, holding her wrists in his hand, while his other hand went back to work teasing her body. "Kaidan please," she whimpered, "I need to feel you."

Kaidan smiled, and shifted pressing against her and grinding his hips into hers, "Oh you'll feel me Shepard, I promise you that," he growled against her throat.

Suddenly the cool air of the room was everywhere around Shepard, then she was picked up and moving. "Kaidan" she whispered, more a question.

Kaidan chuckled, "As much as I would enjoy having you against that window, I still want to take my time and enjoy myself, that means being comfortable in a bed," he whispered into her hair as he walked into the small bedroom off the main room, laying Shepard carefully on the bed that occupied the majority of the room. Kaidan then knelt down on the floor in front of the bed, quickly working loose the laces on her boots, and pulling them off her feet before moving back up the side if the bed, his hands trailing up her legs, just firmly enough for her to feel the touch through the heavy material of her pants, his fingers trailing across her sex as he moved to unfasten her pants.

Shepard leaned up on her elbows to watch Kaidan, her eyes dark with desire as he moved to kiss the tiny bit of skin exposed by his endeavors, his eyes meeting hers as he started moving her pants down over her hips. Shepard arched her back to allow her pants to pass down over her hips, Kaidan slid them off her legs, and tossed them to the floor. "Uniform definitely looks better on the floor." He whispered huskily as he ran his hands over her thighs.

Shepard closed her eyes at the touch of his hands on her skin, "Kaidan, I think you are entirely too over dressed for this occasion."

Kaidan chuckled, a deep husky sound, betraying his own desire. "You may be right about that." He replied as he moved and stripped off his shirt before sitting down to remove his own boots and pants, leaving him in just his shorts.

Shepard sat up, running her hand over Kaidan's bare chest and glancing at the pile of clothes on the floor. "You're right, they do look much better on the floor." She whispered, shifting and kissing him deeply.

Kaidan pulled her against his chest, his hands tangling in her short hair, pulling her head back to expose her throat to his attentions. "We aren't in a hurry Shepard," he growled as she tried to climb into his lap, wanting to feel him against her sex. "I want this to last," he whispered softly, caressing her cheek as he lost himself in her eyes. "I want this to be perfect and slow and never end."

Shepard looked closely, and nodded, "I am yours, if you want to be slow and make it last forever, then I will enjoy every minute of it," she replied softly, her own voice husky with emotion.

Kaidan smiled as he shifted her down to the bed, kissing her deeply, his hands moving slowly across her body, his mouth following, pausing to tease her nipples as he began to rediscover this wonderful woman who had been the center of his world even when she had died. Because right now the Reapers and the Galaxy could wait, he wanted to lose himself in what would never come around again; he wanted to lose himself in them.