Rebellion
Disclaimer: Lulu halulu does not own The Infernal Devices or its characters.
This oneshot is based on the conversation below where Sophie admits to seeing Gideon on her days off. This is my version of one of those secret dates.
"Sophie?" Charlotte's tone was querulous, and Tessa knew what she was thinking: Did they have another spy, another serpent in their garden? Will, too, was leaning forward with narrowed eyes.
"Sophie's not lying," Tessa said abruptly. "She knows because—because we overheard Gideon and Gabriel speaking of it in the training room."
"And you only now decided to mention it?" Will arched his brows.
Suddenly, unreasonably furious with him, Tessa snapped, "Be quiet, Will. If you—"
"I've been stepping out with him," Sophie interrupted loudly. "With Gideon Lightwood. Seeing him on my days off." She was as pale as a ghost. - Clockwork Prince, Chapter 19: If Treason Doth Proper. Cassandra Clare ©
Sophie hurried along the busy streets of Barnes Village, Londoners and tourists flooded through. Pushing along, she scuttled quickly towards her destination. It was an unusually warm day for London. The rays of sunlight shining down on the smiling faces of the rich, beating down on the starving faces of the poor; Sophie not quite sure in which group she belonged. In a newly-tailored dress Jessamine had left behind when taken to the Silent City, she raced forward, avoiding the glances of others.
She smiled when she noticed Gideon, handsome as always, checking the time on a shining two-toned silver and gold pocket watch, attached to his frock by a golden fob. She approached slowly, unconsciously fixing her colourfully plumed hat and smoothing her skirts before flushing crimson. Unable to believe she had just attempted to better her appearance for a man who was not even her husband; she shook her head vigorously, ridding her mind of such thoughts, she stepped forward.
He looked up just as she approached him and smiled. This was something Sophie quite liked about him, his smile. Though a rare pleasure, it seemed infectious and when he smiled she found it quite hard to stop herself from doing the same.
"Mr. Lightwood," She said curtly, though not without a tint amusement in her voice and the corners of her mouth quirking upwards. She couldn't stop herself from curtsying, a force of habit she thought wearily.
Gideon smiled softly as he reached forward and took her hand in his, placing a soft kiss upon back of her gloved hand.
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed he seemed to be carrying a masterfully woven basket. She only had time to vaguely register that due to the mouth-watering aroma, it must have been filled with delectable foods before he whisked her away, through a quiet alleyway towards the Barnes Railway Bridge.
He led the way through the quiet passageways between boutiques until they reached a green field near Duke's meadow on the left bank above the bridge. Sophie could faintly hear the light clicks of the unruly Japanese Knotweed growing uncontrollably in the meadow beside them.
Gideon laid a soft coverlet on slightly dewy grass as she aided in the removal of their lunch from the hamper. She then pulled up her skirts and sat down beside her—she wasn't quite sure who Gideon Lightwood was to her. Her trainer perhaps? Certainly not a suitor. A servant and wealthy gentleman? A mundane and a Shadowhunter? Not quite an appropriate pairing. Though that hadn't stopped her from coming today. Nor from coming on her other days off.
He poured a glass of chilled champagne, the dark bottle wrapped loosely in a damp newspaper, as she served him a slice of raised pork pie.
They ate comfortably. Sharing light conversation as they sipped their drinks and ate their food. It was an explosion of flavour for her palate and she felt the need to savour every luscious bite.
Once finished, Gideon lay down, staring up at the clear sky. Sophie moved to put everything away, back into the basket.
"You needn't do that. I shall do it myself later." Gideon said, his eyes looking over to her.
She shook her head and continued on. "It's fine. I'm used to it."
Gideon regarded her for a moment before sitting up.
He placed his hand lightly atop her own. Shaking his head, he said, "I invited you, I am responsible for this." She made a move to protest, to say that he had paid; surely she should offer a service as thanks.
"You owe me nothing." He said, as if he had read her mind. "Simply being here is reward enough for me."
Still, she felt guilt gnawing at her when he once again shook his head, still not removing his hand from atop hers. "Today is your day off. Furthermore, you are not my family's servant. If Charlotte or Henry were here, it would be natural for you to feel compelled to do this. However, today, you are no more a parlour maid then I."
She couldn't help but smile amusedly. Imagining Gideon Lightwood as a parlour maid was quite an interesting picture. Not one she ever wanted to see in real life but it was perfectly comical in her mind's-eye.
Finally, she nodded and positioned the plates back on the blanket.
Gideon smiled victoriously and lay back down. Sophie sat awkwardly next to him, fiddling with a loose fray on her dress when she jumped in shock. He laughed quietly; he hadn't meant to startle her. He lightly touched her elbow; a sign she knew meant to lie down next to him. She couldn't help but feel that doing so would not be proper.
She looked around. They were alone. Gideon had chosen an almost deserted area, purposely, she assumed, for privacy.
They, of course, had never explicitly said that their stepping out was a secret. However, it had been an unspoken agreement since the beginning.
With no one around, she took a deep breath and nodded. She lay down, letting out an exhale of worry. It mortified her to admit his presence was soothing. Her eyes fluttered shut and they lay in a comfortable silence.
She was vaguely aware of her scar facing in his direction when suddenly she sucked in a breath. She felt his finger lightly trace the contours of her scar. She tensed, unable to move. He must have noted her distress because a moment later, his hand dropped.
She let out a sigh of relief.
"You're beautiful."
Sophie's eyes snapped open. He had spoken so softly, she almost hadn't heard him.
Turning her head slowly, she saw that he was calm; breathing evenly; as he stared up at the colourful sky, dusk approaching.
Her first instinct was that he was mocking her, patronizing her. Her scar wasn't something she was particularly ashamed of, however she wasn't delusional about it either. It was awful to look at and almost impossible to ignore. She knew that when people saw her, it was the first thing they registered. And that had been whole reasoning behind it. Her Master hadn't wanted her to be beautiful, and he made it so.
Still, Gideon's tone hadn't seemed patronizing. In fact, his voice gave away nothing but honest candour; as though it had been an obvious fact and not a compliment, patronizing or otherwise.
He seemed entirely unfazed, unaware of the gravity of his statement. Unfair, she deemed, as his comment had had a startlingly strong effect on her. Her heart seemed to be beating straight out of her chest. So strongly, she was almost certain he could hear it.
Unexpectedly, as though a strong wind had come in and given him a shock of courage, he became quite daring. He interlocked his fingers with hers, pressing her hand affectionately.
He kept his gaze steady but she understood. In his silence, he was asking her permission. Her permission to be this daring, to be this bold.
She breathed deeply and turned her head back so that she was admiring the vibrant sky before her eyes fluttered shut once again. Pressing his hand tightly, she gave him her answer.
After what felt like hours, though it may well have been only twenty minutes, neither of them were quite sure, they opened their eyes and stared up at the now darkened sky. Stars twinkled across the pitch black heavens, the quarter moon illuminating the world beneath.
Sophie sat up abruptly, turning to Gideon with a sense of alarm.
"What time is it?" Panic-stricken, she attempted to gather her skirts when she noticed her hand still interlocked with his.
Her eyes were fearful as she once again asked, "What time is it?"
"Haven't the foggiest." Gideon replied casually, shrugging.
Sophie was now clutching his hand tightly, pale as a ghost.
He sighed and with his free hand, checked on his pocket watch.
"Quarter to midnight."
Sophie's eyes, which Gideon had thought could not widen anymore, broadened considerably in fear.
"I'm going to be sacked!" She cried, her free hand covering her face.
Gideon shook his head calmly, tentatively drawing back down her hand. "Today is your day off. As long as you have returned by dawn, you will not be punished."
This seemed to calm her down considerably. Gideon was steady. Like a rock or a pillar. She had noticed before, it was something she found quite calming. He was so solid, so sure of his words, Sophie found it difficult to ever argue with him.
Her laboured breathing calmed and she loosened her grip on his hand. He smiled and gave her a last reassuring squeeze before pulling away and letting her catch her breath as he placed everything back in the basket.
Several minutes later, he was finished and he settled down beside her.
She was vaguely aware of his gaze on her as she smoothed her skirts.
"Sophie?" She traced a light pattern on her dress as she avoided Gideon's eye. Her heartbeat quickened, as it did every time he referred to her as such. To refer to someone whom they had no clear relationship of any sort with by their Christian name showed a mark of familiarity between two people. Intimacy that she wasn't quite sure she and he possessed. Still, her heart fluttered as she bit her lip to keep from smiling.
"Yes?"
"I…I am quite certain that you already know, as I have lacked quite a bit of subtlety in this area, however I feel I should say it, so as to not give you any false assumptions."
Sophie sat silently, her hands interlocked on her lap, listening intently.
"I fear, perhaps, I have not been clear in my intentions."
Sophie furrowed her brows. She wasn't quite sure what she had been expecting but it hadn't been this. She couldn't help but note the irony in his statement. He had mentioned a lack of subtlety then alleged he hadn't been clear. Though she had to agree that she wasn't quite sure what the status of their relationship was. Were they friends? More? She didn't want to attach too much closeness to their non-existent relationship before anything was announced.
"I feel I have been clear in saying that I hold you in my highest esteem. I quite like you. In fact, I am quite certain that I may feel more. I don't wish to seem forward but as my affections for you grow, I feel compelled to express my clearest intentions."
Sophie sat, unable to draw even the simplest of words from her lips in reply.
Was this…a love confession?
"Sophie, I understand you're adamant towards anything that may become of this." He gestured towards the two of them then the picnic. "And rightfully so. You and I…we are not of the same background."
Sophie nodded. "I am not sure if you are referring to my lack of wealth or my mundane status. Perhaps both. Though I understand your concern on both accounts."
It seemed it was Gideon's turn to be confused.
"Concern? I am not concerned of our breeding. What I meant by backgrounds was simply that the way in which we lead our lives are quite different. You are hard-working and kind. I am not a good man. I have committed many wrongs in my life, wrongs that I am attempting to set right. My father is working for the enemy of your mistress. You and I, perhaps, are not so well suited for one another."
Sophie knew to never interrupt a gentleman, though she had not been following this rule quite so well as of late, but she had not wanted to interrupt anyone more than in this moment. She wanted to assure him that he was a good man. That his father's dalliance with demons and Mortmain reflected nothing on to him (or his brother for that matter) to her, but she managed to not interject her opinion and he continued.
"I do hope that your feelings are similar to mine. I am unashamedly enamoured with you, Sophie." He took a deep breath. "Do you feel the same?"
He seemed to have no problem waiting on bated breath as she contemplated her answer.
Did she feel the same? She had put forth as much effort as she could muster to not think of the answer.
"I—" She thought cautiously of her answer. Perhaps she should lie. It would certainly be easier for them both. Then again, she didn't endorse lying. Unless vitally necessary, it was not a good option. However, to be together is secret would certainly be scandalous, not to mention illegal.
After a moment of consideration, she found that she didn't care. She felt rebellious; she did feel strong affections for Gideon as well. Conceivably, this would go absolutely nowhere. But she felt she owed it to herself, as well as the man before her, staring with such intensity in his green eyes that she felt she may flush as red as a blood rose and never go back, to give them a chance. No matter how short-lived it may be.
Slowly, she nodded. "I do."
Gideon grinned, a grin that lit up his whole face, brightening his features as the worry in his eyes slipped away.
Unable to contain her happiness, she felt herself grin as well, though she attempted to compose her features as quickly as she could.
They quieted for a moment, staring deeply into each other's eyes, lacing their fingers together, before grinning widely, laughter overwhelming them.
They clutched their sides, unable to contain themselves as they fell backwards, doubled over in laughter. They weren't quite sure what—if anything—was so funny. They were simply happy. Happier than they had been in a long while.
Gideon, always so calm and stoic, was now laughing so genuinely. He, who had spent but a few short months in Madrid and who had been aching to return since his father had demanded him back, for once felt no need to leave. He felt quite content to stay in London for as long as it took.
Sophie was still laughing when Gideon turned over towards her. Leaning over her, he brushed a strand of hair from her face.
She knew she ought to be feeling angry, to feel some sort of resentment towards Gideon. To be as bold as he was, if she were a proper lady, she would push him away.
Not until marriage! She had always been told. Taught to never let a man touch her in any way, lest he be her husband.
As it was, Shadowhunter etiquette was quite different. More presumptuous, she had quickly learned when taken in by Charlotte.
Though even by lax Shadowhunter standards, Gideon was audacious. She strained to feel irritated, however, the only thought she seemed to be able to register was unadulterated bliss. As he leaned down over her, brushing her scarred cheek with his thumb, she smiled. His lips brushed against hers, softly, almost cautiously, before he feverishly captured her lips with his. He cupped his hand behind her neck whilst the other roamed from the camber of her collarbone to the gentle curve of her waist.
She felt as though she may erupt into a column of flames at any given moment. Her eyes fluttered shut as she ran her fingers through his locks of sandy blond hair. She felt herself unwillingly let out a gasp of pleasure. A shock of energy seemed to course through her veins, igniting her chest as a match to a flame.
Her breathing laboured, their hearts hammered in sync. Never had she thought someone, least of all a Lightwood, would make her feel this way. Women were to pleasure the men, not the other way around. And yet, there was nothing about this moment that seemed terribly wrong. It seemed right. She felt as though everything she had ever been taught about men and romance from her previous employers, from her family, had been a lie. The thought was slightly alarming, though equally as exhilarating. She felt a rousing sense of self when near Gideon, something she was quite certain she had never felt around Jem. As wonderful as Jem was, she realized with a startling shock, she had never been in love with him. If she had, surely she ought to have felt towards him the passion and excitement she, as of late, had felt towards Gideon.
"I ought to leave," Sophie muttered unwillingly between kisses. Her work-roughened hands sought out to him, clutching his cheeks, she drew him as close as she could just as he frantically tightened his grasp round her tightly corseted waist. He felt as though it were a necessity to pull her upward toward him; that no space be left between them.
"Not yet," He breathed out, his lips pausing for only a moment before seizing hers once again, more eagerly then before.
She fisted a handful of his frock, gripping him tightly; as though she were afraid he would suddenly vanish, turned to nothing but dust, with no explanation.
"Sophie…" He murmured quietly, allowing her to pause for breath. She felt his soft lips moving lightly on the exposed skin of her shoulder, speaking solely her name over and over again. She had once laughed at stories where the mere mentioning of the woman's name from the man's lips was overwhelming. She had not quite believed it to be realistic until now. She felt her hearth burning brightly as she reached towards his cheeks and dragged him with full force, ravishing him with open-mouthed, breathless kisses.
He reciprocated just as, if not more, enthusiastically.
When apart, their lips, their whole bodies seemed to ache, as though they were missing part of themselves.
There was a soft rustle of leaves from the bush beside. "Oh, honestly Philomena, we must be heading back! Mother will be worried!"
"Where's your sense of adventure, Georgina?"
Sophie and Gideon gasped and flew apart. Breathing deeply, they gathered up their belongings and quickly stumbled back into the alleyway in which they came through. They could not be spotted by anyone! Mundane or otherwise.
Their breath shallow, they leaned against the cold, rock wall. Sophie's normally milk pale cheeks were flushed crimson, heated. She pressed her unscathed cheek against the building, the cool rock seeping through her pores.
Gideon, being a professionally trained, fully grown Shadowhunter, had the stamina of a raging bull. He leaned casually against the stone, gazing down at Sophie, a hint of a smile grazing his lips.
Sophie's chest rose and fell quickly; she placed the palms of her hands beside her face on the wall, a cool breeze passing through. Her lack of breath was of course, in part, due to her lack of endurance; though she secretly admitted to it being mostly from the grand rush of adrenaline which had given her a large sense of exhilaration.
She felt as though she could run the Great Wall of China, scale Mount Everest and swim the Nile. Incidentally, he felt the same.
After several minutes of rest, Sophie turned to Gideon, her pink, swollen lips tilted upwards into a sweet smile. His eyes had not moved from her the whole time. He watched, mesmerized by her every move.
"I really must be getting back."
Gideon nodded in agreement. "Come along," He held out his arm to her. Linking arms, they strode quietly through the dark alleys towards the bright streets. It was still very busy as they hurried through town. They quickly reached a quaint pub, a small, well-lit building flocked with patrons. Sophie was curious when Gideon led her into the pub, not yet giving an explanation, simply guiding her through to the bar where the drinks were served.
She wrinkled her nose in disgust; the stench of alcohol was so strong she feared it may intoxicate her without her ever having to take a sip of liquor.
Gideon sat her down on a bar stool, murmuring quietly in her ear for her to stay while he spoke to someone. She sat, awkwardly twiddling her thumbs as she avoided eye contact as best she could. She noticed Gideon walk up to a man; tall, slim and very young, their age she assumed. She strained to hear the conversation over the loud noise but failed. She heard but one word, the man's name she presumed.
"John," Gideon said
John looked up from his whiskey and noticed Gideon. "Sir," He said curtly, rising from his seat and bowing his head. "How unexpected to see you here. Do you require my assistance?"
"Yes, do you have the carriage with you?"
John nodded, "Yes sir,"
"Come along then." Gideon said
The two men walked back over to Sophie who was clutching her dress fairly tightly.
"Sophie, this is John, my family's servant. John, this is Miss Collins." Sophie nodded in acknowledgement before once again linking arms with Gideon. Without his warm, comforting touch, she felt more than a little worried.
Though she couldn't help but note that he had not referred to her with any title. Not 'the Institutes' servant'. Just Miss Collins. She wasn't quite sure whether this made her happy or not.
"He will bring us back to the Institute." He informed her as the three of them left the pub.
It was the life-long servant in her that suddenly felt a large tug of guilt to her heartstrings. She hadn't wanted to interrupt John's time away from his duties. Nevertheless, she was positive that if he understood the gravity of the circumstances, that she very well may be sacked if she did not return to the Institute promptly, he would empathise greatly with her and have helped anyhow. A small part of her felt that he must have known that she was a servant and not a Shadowhunter. It was the inconspicuous smile he had shared with her as he aided her into the carriage. As though they were sharing a private joke that Gideon could not understand. And if he did know who she really was, then they in fact were.
On the ride back, Gideon and Sophie sat opposite each other inside the carriage. Sophie stared down at her hands, praying to every deity she could think of that Charlotte wouldn't be angry with her.
"Sophie, you needn't worry. Charlotte will not be angry." Gideon murmured soothingly.
Sophie suddenly had a flashback to a conversation she had had with Tessa where said girl had wondered whether the Sight made Sophie psychic. Of course it didn't but she couldn't help but wonder if Gideon was. It couldn't be a sheer coincidence that he always knew exactly what to say!
Sophie shook her head anxiously. "And should she inquire my previous whereabouts?"
"She won't." Gideon assured her, taking her trembling hand softly in his and gingerly stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.
"But say she does. What if she worries about where my loyalties lie? We've already lost Miss Lovelace, or rather, I suppose Mrs. Gray, she'll be suspicious won't she if I refuse to answer her questions of where I was and who I was with and why I was gone for so long."
"It was your day off. You're free to do as you please. There's nothing Charlotte can do about that. You're entitled to your own privacy."
"But won't I seem distrustful?" Sophie asked sceptically.
"No." Gideon assured her, leaning forward. "And if you must, perhaps you should say you were visiting an old friend. A mundane in Chiswick and you lost last track of time."
Sophie's eyes widened. "But that's lying! I couldn't lie to Mrs. Branwell!"
Gideon shrugged casually, clasping her hand tightly. "I suppose you could tell the truth."
Sophie's eyes widened even more. Though it had been his own suggestion, Sophie knew the offer wasn't real. The two of them could not mention anything. Let alone to Charlotte. To Tessa, perhaps. But not the leader of the Institute that Gideon's own father was trying to take over, not the woman who had hired her, paid her, and lodged her. She would be angry and Sophie couldn't bear to put more pressure on her tiny shoulders then she already had.
Sophie shook her head. "No, you are correct, I won't say anything."
No sooner had Gideon leaned in that the carriage stopped abruptly, tossing Gideon forward and Sophie back. They steadied themselves just has the carriage door was swung open.
"Miss Collins," John gestured forward. He helped her down, smiling kindly and giving her a curt nod (And a wink! She was sure of it!) before returning to the driver's seat. Gideon jumped down beside her and sighed. Gently interlocking her arm with his, he led her towards the Institute's entrance, begrudgingly letting her arm drop to her side once they reached their journey's end.
"I shall see you and Miss Gray with Gabriel tomorrow for training, then?" Gideon resigned
Sophie nodded, "Yes, of course." She curtsied, once again scolding herself inwardly because of the annoying habit, and turned to leave when she realized something with a start.
"Erm…the door only opens to Shadowhunters." She blushed lightly, not having wanted to remind Gideon of their painfully obvious divide of social standing.
He nodded gruffly and quickly opened the door for her. She clambered quickly inside before waving goodbye abruptly and turning to leave. She was nearly halfway towards the lift when she noticed Gideon hadn't turned to leave. Feeling a rush of courage and rebellion, she turned her heel and strode purposefully towards the door. As she flung the door open, a startled Gideon gazed at her, astonished.
"Did you forget something?" He inquired politely.
She nodded resolutely, looking him straight in the eyes. Her rebelliousness still pounding through her veins, leading her to her next actions. "Yes," His brows furrowed. "Indeed, I did." Quickly leaning forward, she roughly seized his cheeks and kissed him with such force, she knew he must have felt her adrenaline rush.
Separating from the kiss, she turned her heel and strode away confidently; blushing brightly only when she was quite sure she was out of sight. He was left standing there, confused as he ever had been, but utterly energized and very happy.
Perhaps with the most stupid grin of all time plastered across his face, he walked back over to the carriage, a small, almost undetectable spring to his step.
"'Till tomorrow," Gideon murmured quietly, literally attempting to wipe the smug expression from his face. "'Till tomorrow…"
God, I haven't had this much fun writing a story since…I can't even remember! I've been dealing with some…personal issues lately so writing hasn't exactly been coming easy. Anyway, I really hope you liked this oneshot! I absolutely adore Gideon/Sophie, they are just so cute and they need more fics on here! I have another oneshot about them in the making so that should be on here soon if you guys are interested. Please review and tell me what you thought!
-Lulu halulu =)