Pairing: Ben Braeden/Claire Novak, Jesse Turner

Themes: comfort/hurt? 'cause the mush comes before the angst?

Disclaimer: I do not own SPN

Prompt: lover100 - 013 Kisses

Follows When One Door Opens and Through the Storm. This takes place an ambiguous "six months" after Through the Storm but was actually written before.

When he first ran away Jesse wandered the crowded streets of random cities around the world. He tested his powers against the seedier population of humans; never hurting anyone, but he would terrify them. The occasional demon would run across him, delighted in being the one to the discover the Antichrist's location. Jesse tried to not think about what happen to those unfortunate ones. It wasn't until the first hunter tracked him down that he realized he was being careless, and that he was too dangerous to be around humans. The decision to hide himself seemed simple, and Australia was ideal with its seclusion. It gave Jesse time to really explore his budding powers that were growing stronger. He knew from experience that he had the ability to subconsciously warp reality and with some practice he drew together a safe and serene haven for himself. And for five lonely years it was perfect.

Until one day it suddenly wasn't and Jesse needed a connection with someone before he lost his mind. He still didn't trust himself, so the internet was perfect. Then someone had to blast his blog with wank, and Jesse knew he was being brazen laying claim to being the Antichrist. They taunted him, and called him out. Then last they said, "prove it," and Jesse just knew that he if he really did show himself it would be what he had been waiting for. And maybe it had been hope that wanted them to be one of the two he sometimes dreamed about. Jesse had spent too much of his life afraid and again it was that strange feeling, but he just knew. He'd make allies not enemies when his path finally crossed with theirs.

He's not sure if he's surprised that it turned out to be Ben Braeden and Claire Novak. They say there is no free will and everything has already been written in stone. And their friendship had done nothing but rock the boat since the beginning.

They gave Jesse a chance when all they knew was that he was the Antichrist. Time and hunts had finally created a bond between them. Jesse had friends, a concept that would have been foreign to him six months ago, but with friendship brought something Jesse hadn't thought about.

He was not some blushing innocent like they liked to make him out to be. Maybe he hadn't kissed someone, and except for the one time he looked at porn (which had made him blush;) he didn't really understand sex. But Jesse could feel and track evil-things, could shake the Earth with a clench of his fist. Had vanquished demons to hell and could, if he wanted to, bring the fall of Heaven. If he really wanted too. Jesse didn't want to do any of those things.

Jesse wasn't bothered by the things he didn't know. Like what a kiss felt like or that he wasn't sure if he was attracted to guys or girls. Maybe both. He was not bothered by these things. Until he saw the way Ben looked at Claire, how easily they shared a peck on their lips. And there was this way Claire walked, when she wanted Ben to notice her. These things made him wonder.

Jesse loved hunting with the couple. They were a machine on the battle field. He could see in Claire's fluidity the differences being possessed by an angel had changed her. There was a natural flow to Ben's fighting and the skills Dean taught him showed. They were beautiful to Jesse.

It was always in the aftermath of a successful hunt that Jesse's mind wandered to those thoughts he tried to ignore. Ben needed to be reassured by touch that Claire was still with him; Claire was peaceful and boneless laying against him. Jesse felt out of place, like he was intruding on something intimate that wasn't for him. But they never asked and he couldn't make himself leave. He had migrated his way to perching on the end of the bed; sometimes he wanted to be close, too.

"You okay, Jesse?" Ben tapped him with his foot, a concerned smile on his face.

He ducked his head, "Fine." He should know by now that his friends wouldn't settle for a simple answer.

Claire sat up, her hand coming to rest on his knee. "You can talk to us."

"I – I just – wanted." He took a steady breath. He hadn't felt like this around them for long, and he had to concentrate on not letting his power spin out of control. "What does a kiss feel like?"

"Oh," together, softly. Claire squeezed his knee and Ben spoke up, "It, um." Ben looked at Claire for help. "Feels like..." Ben shrugged helplessly. "A kiss?"

Claire huffed, and rolled her eyes at Ben. "It really depends on who you kiss. If you really like that person it's going to be awesome, even if it's one of those really slobbery, teeth-gnashing kisses." They shared a fond look, but Jesse doubted their first kiss was any thing less than perfect. "And if you don't it might be unpleasant. Or maybe it's a kiss between family members, like when Cas tries to kiss my cheek. It's awkward and a bit stiff, but it's my – dad, y'know?" She glanced away a moment, the relationship between Claire and Castiel was not an easy one for Jesse to understand. She barreled on,"So there are a lot of different kinda kisses, and they all feel a little different." She ended with a smile, patting his knee.

Jesse would never be sure was spurred him on in the next moment, "Could you – would you – Can I have a kiss?" Claire sat up straight, her hand withdrawing slowly. "I mean – I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." They did their thing, the silent conversation they could have with eye twitches. Jesse had worked hard with them so they could shield their thoughts until he had the thing under control, but still this communication would be foreign to him. They came to a conclusion and Claire slid down the bed to sit next to him.

"Jesse, we both care for you a lot. And if you want to share that with me I'd be honored." Claire grinned, "but don't slip me tongue, got it?" She bumped him playfully with her shoulder. Claire raised her hand slowly and put it on his cheek. "Let me lead, okay." Jesse nodded and for a moment he thought about pulling away and changing his mind. It was overwhelming now that Claire was so close. But she was already guiding him in. "Don't be nervous," her breath ghosted over his lips. Then.

Then.

Claire's lips were soft and she must have wetted them when Jesse wasn't looking. They slid over his and she was the one guilty of tongue. Her's ran along his bottom lip and he gasped, shocked that she would do that. It was intimate, something for Ben only. He reached up, hand coming to flutter on her neck; not sure if he was allowed to touch her or not.

It was over too quickly. And Jesse realized a day late and dollar short. He shouldn't have opened the door to temptation.

"So?" Claire asked, smiling. "All you thought it was cracked up to be?"

Jesse looked over her shoulder at Ben. He was sitting forward and it was only because of the errant thoughts Ben couldn't hide that he knew his friend had – enjoyed watching them kiss each other. "Can I have another?"

"Hey, now–" Claire started, moving back on the bed; giving each their space.

"From Ben." Ben's thoughts spiked for a moment before the wall came slamming up.

Claire's eyes lit up. "Fantastic idea!"

"Babe!" Ben scrambled, his back hitting the head board. "I'm not. We're not – " Claire silenced him with a kiss. She didn't say it out loud but both men heard it. 'Give him a kiss.'

They studied each other, Ben looking between Jesse's eyes and his lips. Jesse didn't know why he asked, just that he didn't know if he'd be weird out by Ben or if it would be as amazing as Claire's. "Okay," Ben finally said, he scooted down and came to sit stiffly next to Jesse.

"I'm sorry I asked, we don't – " Ben stopped his words with a finger over his lips.

"If you're curious I would rather it's me you get curious with. Not that you couldn't take care of yourself," They had all seen Jesse in action, "but peace of mind. I guess." The tension leaked out of Ben. "You lead though."

Jesse wasn't sure what it meant to lead but he mimicked what Claire had done with him. Placing his hand on Ben's cheek and pulled him in. Opposites, like in everything. Jesse shouldn't have been surprised when Ben's lips were dry and rough, and he didn't hesitate or think about it when he swiped his tongue against them. Ben started, pulling away, then came in closer. Their noses bumped together and a gasp from Claire pulled them apart completely.

"God, that was hot." Claire grabbed Ben and pulled him in for a lip-lock. They didn't stop at just a touch of tongue and Jesse couldn't look away as they wrapped around each other. They pulled away and looked at each other. "Jesse?" Claire looked at him, her eyes were dark and Jesse could feel the predator-like want coming off both of them. "Would you like to..?" She held out her hand.

They thought he was innocent but Jesse understood very clearly what they were asking him. And for a moment he could see everything pass through his mind. They would be gentle and slow; kind and patient. It would be something to savor, and he'd never allow himself to have it again. "I – I don't think so. I think I should go, actually."

"Hey, wait." Ben grabbed his wrist, "Are you okay? Don't go. We can watch a movie, like we planned. Nothing more – weird has to happen."

Jesse wanted to protest that it hadn't been weird but he thought about the last time they had watched a movie and how they had laid, propped against the head board with Claire in the middle. That had been comfortable (and in hindsight, that might have been when these thoughts started to run wild,) but Jesse knew this time it wouldn't be. Claire wouldn't fall asleep with her head on Jesse's shoulder or Ben with his arm flung over Claire so it came to rest on Jesse's stomach.

"I should go. I need to. I need some time to myself."

Claire's hand came to rest over his, "You'll be back, we're good?"

Jesse managed a nod before jerking his arm away from them and left fast as he could. Before he lost his nerve, gave in to their eyes. He promised himself that their last stray thoughts were not true. They had not just lost a good friend. Jesse had to think though; naive or not, he may have screwed up his friendship on a whim to experience; knowing he wanted much more than just that.