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Author's note: If anyone is familiar with the TOS fanbase, they are most likely familiar with Saphura's The Official List of Unofficial Rules. If you aren't, it's worth getting into the TOS fandom just to read it. It's one of the funniest fanfiction lists of all time.

Anyhow, this list is based on hers, and it's basically things forbidden on the USS Enterprise-D (NCC-1701-D). It's not that funny, and I really don't have many rules written, but please enjoy and send in your requests to keep the fic alive.

Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own Star Trek: The Next Generation or even the idea for this fic.


-Yes, Captain Picard wears a red shirt. No, that doesn't make him a redshirt.

-The same goes for Commander Riker.

-Don't start a petition to get girls back into short skirts. Feminism doesn't need to be set back after how far it's come.

-Don't hide Geordi's VISOR and tell your higher-up you guys were playing a game.

-There is no "bring your child to work day". Picard would probably have a fit if there were.

-There are no cooking competitions on the Enterprise.

-And we don't need them either, so stop trying to organize them.

-No, Edward Cullen is not on the ship.

-No, Data is not Edward.

-Yes, they might be EXTREMELY similar (pale, gold-eyed, hair a similar color, a super mega giant squadron of fangirls), but Gene Roddenberry and Stephanie Meyer weren't in cahoots.

-Worf isn't a barbarian.

-He's not related to a Wookie either.
-What IS a Wookie, anyhow?

-Do NOT encourage Lwaxana Troi. You will be sorry.

-We are staying AWAY from Vagra II

-No, Starfleet command is not being overrun by parasites. It was only that one time.

-No dressing in drag while on duty.

-Do not mess with Data's modesty subroutines.

-We want the alliance with the Klingon empire to remain intact, so we don't like it if your actions endanger it.

-Kentucky Fried Gagh would not be a great example of 24th century fast food, it would be disgusting. So don't try starting it.
-Just as a side note: even Worf agrees with that estimate.


Author's note: Love it? Hate it? Please review!