That was the word that came into Andromeda Tonks' mind to describe this feeling.
This feeling lasted for an hour, and made it feel like 10.
An hour ago, Remus had decided to join the fight.
An hour in which she wondered what had prompted her daughter to listen to him and not to go.
Because that was not typical for Nymphadora.
She knew that my daughter was about to leave. But Teddy had stopped her. Had he continued to sleep, her daughter would be gone for sure. Teddy, however, was woken up. He had been crying, and so his mother recalled that there was someone whom she loved above all else and she could not just leave him alone.
After a short time he had calmed down and since then Nymphadora sat on the sofa, staring into the fireplace.
She waited for good news.
And good news contained more than the death of Voldemort.
They included that Remus came home.
Andromeda was hoping that too. For all of them. She had already lost Ted. To lose her son in law, would also mean losing her daughter, although in a different way and she could not live with that.
Tonks looked up and Andromeda could see in her eyes that she was confused. Desperate and confused. Well, that was to be expected. When did I ever call her 'Dora'...? "Want a cup of tea perhaps?" She shook her head. "Or a chocolate?"
Andromeda could not remember the last time she had felt so helpless. Probably Nymphadora had also felt this way when she learned that Ted had been killed.
When she sat down next to her daughter on the sofa, she wanted to rise at the same moment again. She could not just sit around. For this she simply had no nerves. But if she run back and forth that would help no one and may wake up Teddy in the end.
Andromeda was hoping so much that he had no idea of what was going on. And that everything would be good when he woke up.
But somehow she could not believe it. She had an inkling that Teddy knew what was going on, though not intentionally. But even a baby has to notice when people are desperate around it.
"Mum?" the mentioned looked at her daughter. "Can you tell me anything, so I am thinking of something else? I can no longer think about what is happening. What if ... what if ... "The sentence remained unfinished, because Andromeda took Nymphadora in the arm and prevented her to continue talking. "Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin, do not even mind to bring this thought to its conclusion. Remus is coming back." He must come back "Can you promise me that?" "No. How could I? I would like to, but I cannot. "
At that moment Teddy woke up "I think someone is hungry. And I am hungry as well. Are you sure you want nothing? "" A cocoa might be quite good," Dora said with a mini-smile before she took care of her son.
While her mother was in the kitchen, preparing the cocoa and coffee for herself (suddenly she was not hungry anymore), she noticed that the sun was rising.
"Hey," Nymphadora, who was putting her son back into the cradle, looked up "the sun rises. Do you think we should turn on the radio, whether it is news? "
A shrug was the only answer. Perhaps it was better to not turn on the radio anyways.
With her cocoa in hand, Nymphadora sat down again on the sofa and fell into silence. Andromeda joined with her coffee.
How long they sat there, she couldn't say, but eventually we heard noises coming from the front door.
Nymphadora looked up. Hope was in her eyes. 'Let it be Remus' it said. Oh yes. Let it be Remus
Reluctantly Andromeda got up and walked to the door. If her daughter followed her, she didn't know.
Before she reached the door, however, this was opened and a battered, but still alive, Remus Lupin stood before her.
Before she was even able to react, she felt his wife rushed past her and fell into his arms.
A whispered "You're back" was all Andromeda could understand, before she burst into tears.
And while Remus closed the door and tried to calm his wife, she decided to leave the room.
"Do you want to eat something?"
Remus looked up and smiled at her. She took that as "Yes" and went into the kitchen.
And for the first time in months, she felt something like joy.