Okay, a few of you may have read my other Darkest Hour Spoof story, but be glad if you haven't. It wasn't that great. I'm redoing it, making it longer and putting some decent humour into it. I hope you enjoy it! Here's the prologue!
Disclaimer: I do not own warriors. If I did, there would only be one series.
The rain poured down in the gloomy Twolegplace, splattering against the concrete pavements and forming puddles. It was a really depressing night to be out and about, weighing down the spirits of anyone who was walking on the streets.
Except for Boulder.
He skipped along joyfully, happy to have returned to the place he considered as his real home – not that silly ShadowClan. He splashed through every single puddle, not afraid at all of getting wet. Whilst he did so he was singing a song that he was making up as he went along, and he was singing quite loudly at that. He had no care in the world at that moment.
Tigerstar wasn't so happy.
He was soaking, tired, stressed, and was frankly getting really irritated by the former BloodClanner. Tigerstar was completely done in with all the worry of having to plan a war, and Boulder's singing was not helping at all. He would have gladly left him at home if it weren't for the fact that he was the only one who knew where he was going.
"Can you just shut up?" he snarled in frustration, "I hate your singing!"
Boulder stopped mid-line and glanced at Tigerstar, before looking away again. The ShadowClan leader couldn't see it, but Boulder was now grinning. It was quiet for a little while besides the pitter-patter of the rain falling.
"What?" he snapped.
"Here's a little song I wrote," Boulder sang, "You might want to sing it note for note," he cast a meaningful glance at Tigerstar, "Don't worry. Be happy."
A low growl erupted form the brown tabby's throat. "Boulder, I'm warning you…"
Boulder chuckled slightly. "Okay boss, I won't sing no more," he replied with a teasing tone. Tigerstar made no comment. There was another lapse of silence.
"What!" he snapped, more angry than previously.
"Always look on the bright sight of life!" Boulder boomed out loudly and cheerfully, scaring a couple of nearby pigeons away in a flurry of feathers. He even whistled too.
Tigerstar whipped round to face Boulder, completely and utterly raging. He was so angry his head might have exploded. The skinny tom backed away slightly in fear. "Boulder, if you sing one more time I swear on StarClan that I will shred you and feed you to foxes. Do you hear me?" he thundered furiously.
"Whoa, easy tiger," Boulder meowed, before chuckling at his own joke. But when he saw the expression on Tigerstar face he stopped laughing. "Uh, yeah, I hear you," he spoke hastily.
Tigerstar rolled his eyes and turned away, desperately hoping that the journey would be over soon and that he could get away from the mouse-brain walking with him. He was in luck. They soon came across a large black and white tom with a tooth-studded collar.
"Who are you?" the tom demanded angrily at the pair of them. Then he recognised Boulder. His eyes went wide in horror. "B-Boulder? It's such a pleasure to s-see you…" he stuttered, attempting to sound pleased and failing. He was definitely not happy to see the silver-grey tabby tom. Tigerstar sympathised.
Boulder grinned that foolish grin of his. "I'm happy to see you too Bone!" he meowed joyfully, completely oblivious to the tom's true feelings. He ran up and hugged the poor cat. "Can we go see Scourge? I've been missing him ever so much! But not as much as you!"
Bone managed to shake him off. "Uh, sure… but who is this?" he indicated Tigerstar with his tail.
"That's Tigger!" Boulder squealed, giggling like a little girl whilst rolling on the floor. Both Bone and Tigerstar stared at him, dumbfounded. Sometimes the things that Boulder did were too weird for words.
Bone turned to the ShadowClan leader. "What's your actual name?" he queried. Clearly he was used to Boulder's strangeness.
"Tigerstar. I'm leader of ShadowClan."
Bone gave a curt nod. "Okay, let's go see Scourge now!" he spoke extra loud so that he could catch Boulder's attention, who was still laughing hysterically. He scrambled to his feet and took the lead, knowing where he was going.
Tigerstar and Bone walked side by side. "Please tell me that Boulder isn't staying," Bone begged to him, desperation in his eyes.
"Sadly, he isn't," Tigerstar muttered, "He is the most annoying cat I know."
Bone half-smiled. "Trust me, I know exactly what you mean," he replied, "I remember he used to have this weird obsession, if you could call it that."
Bone shook his head, his eyes clouded over with horrible memories. "You don't want to know…"
Bone was walking along quite happily that sunny day, until he turned round the corner.
He gaped in horror. Further down the street was none other than Boulder. He had several cans of spray paint, and had painted the wall beside him multi-coloured. He had also painted himself in the same colours. He rushed up to Bone with his paint cans and gave him a flying hug, knocking him over.
"AH!" Bone yowled, shoving the tom off him. "You got paint on me!" Sure enough, some of the paint on Boulder had rubbed off onto the BloodClan deputy.
"That's good! Then you won't get eaten by aliens!" Boulder meowed joyfully.
Bone was baffled. "Aliens?"
"Yes, aliens! Soon they're going to attack us and eat us. But they have one weakness! They cannot eat anything that's rainbow infested!" Boulder explained giddily, "I'll need to make you properly rainbow so that you're safe!"
Bone shook his head. "No, I think I'll be- AH!" he screamed having had some paint sprayed in his face. "My eyes!" he moaned, rubbing them on hope of getting rid of the stinging sensation.
"Yay! Now you're safe from aliens!" Boulder jumped up and down in joy. He stopped suddenly, inspiration gleaming in his eyes. "I have a brilliant idea! How about we parade around town and show everyone our rainbow pride?"
"No… I don't want to…" Bone moaned, still in serious pain. He wondered if he was going to go blind.
Boulder was oblivious to what he had said. "Let's go now!" he meowed cheerfully. He grabbed Bone and dragged him along as he skipped away.
"No!" Bone screeched.
"…Just, whatever you do, don't give him access to spray paints," Bone warned, shuddering at the memories of that day. His pride had been hurt eternally.
Tigerstar was puzzled. "Uh, okay…" he replied, wondering in horror what Boulder could possibly do with spray paints.
"Bone! Walk with me!" Boulder came and dragged Bone so that they were now walking together. The muscular tom glanced back helplessly at Tigerstar, who shrugged. He honestly had no idea what to do when dealing with a cat like Boulder.
Thankfully it was only a short time before they reached the place that Scourge was – or at least he was meant to be there. Tigerstar glanced around in confusion. "Where is he?"
"He is here," Bone explained, "You just can't see him. He's a ninja, after all."
Tigerstar's eyes widened. He hadn't expected to meet a ninja. "Will I still be able to speak to him?" he queried.
This time was neither Bone nor Boulder who spoke. The source of the voice didn't appear to be present, but Tigerstar realised that it was probably Scourge. It couldn't have been anyone else.
He was about to start speaking when he was interrupted.
"Wait, is that Boulder!" Scourge sounded shocked and horrified, as any normal cat would be. Boulder, yet again, was completely oblivious to this.
"Hey Scourge!" he greeted cheerfully, "I wish I could hug you!"
"Yeah…" It sounded like hugging Boulder was the last thing Scourge wished to do. "So who is this cat?" He was clearly speaking about Tigerstar, "Please don't say I'm going to have to kill him."
"I'm sure you won't need to do that," Bone meowed, unaware of the future, "His name is Tigerstar. He's leader of ShadowClan."
Tigerstar stepped forwards. "I would like to propose a deal."
Boulder giggled. "That would be such an epic cliff hanger," he mused, smiling as always.
Tigerstar narrowed his eyes at him. "I would've been if you hadn't opened your mouth. Just shut up for once in your life, and then you'll be doing something right," he growled.
"In case you didn't know, I have shut up in my life before. But if you're really so insistent then I'll do so again," Boulder meowed.
I feel so sorry for Bone, but at the same time his pain is funny too. It seems that I have created a new pairing that I've never seen anywhere else before - Boulder x Bone. It's a bit of a one-sided one, but I think it's adorable. Anybody else agree with me?
Anyway, I hoped that you liked this. If you did then please review! I always like to know what people think of my story. If you have any suggestion or constructive criticisms, feel free to voice them! Please don't flame. Flaming doesn't help anybody. If you're going to tell me that I'm not good at something, then please tell me how I can improve. Then you flamers won't have to flame me any more.
Once again, remember to review!