Hey everyone! Here is a brand new story for you! I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it. Warning: Do not eat or drink while reading this story. I cannot be held responsible for damage to your computer from laughing while you read. By the way, although the characters in this story are from the movie, this story will in no way follow the movie. I also added Sunny. He should have been in the movie anyway!
It was late at night, around 2:00 a.m. at the Autobot base, and the terror twins, a.k.a. Sunny and Sides couldn't recharge, so they were watching Blazing Saddles on the enormous television in the rec room. They had just seen the part where the cowboys were eating beans by the fire and one of them was farting every time he reached for more beans.
"Oh wow, bro! That reminds me of the time Ironhide got a hold of a batch of unprocessed energon! Man, was he ripe! Even Chromia wouldn't come near him. He had to recharge in the target range!" Sides said, cracking up.
"I know what you mean, bro." Sunny replied, laughing hysterically. Prime made him drive behind everyone else for a week, cause no one wanted to be on the receiving end of one of his backfires! Wait an astrosecond, bro! This is giving me an idea for an awesome prank! This will be our best prank, yet!" Sunny cried.
Sides suddenly got a wicked gleam in his optics. "What have you got in mind, bro?" He asked.
"All we have to do is sneak into Ratchet's medbay and grab some unrefined energon, and replace the energon in the rec room dispenser with it, and watch the fun!" Sunny chuckled evilly.
"Sweet idea, bro! Let's do it!" Sides exclaimed.
They left the rec room and made their way toward medbay, stopping outside the door to listen for any movement inside. They wanted to make sure ol' Hatchet was nowhere in sight. If he caught them in his medbay, not only would they wind up with several dents in their helms, but they would be dealing with an enraged Hatchet, and THAT was worse than facing Megatron! In fact, Megatron himself would run screaming like a sparkling from an enraged Hatchet! After they had listened for awhile and all was quiet, they sneaked inside and found a full container of unrefined energon. Sunny paced it in his subspace, and they both left quickly and quietly, but not before adding some to Ratchet's dispenser!
"Next stop, the rec room!" Sides said, chuckling quietly.
They arrived at the rec room, and Sunny proceeded to pour quite a bit into the dispenser. They had decided to mix it with the regular energon, so it wouldn't be detected right away, as unrefined energon has a distinct and slightly unpleasant flavor.
"Hey, Sides, what about boss bot? He has his own dispenser in his quarters. It wouldn't be very nice to leave him out, now would it?" Sunny said.
"Do you have a deactivation wish, Sunny? Ironhide is gonna be bad enough! Prime will hand us our backsides on a Cybertronium platter!" Sides almost shrieked.
"Aww, Come on! Live a little! Take the chance! This will be hilarious, and so totally worth it!" Sunny said.
"Well, all right, let's go. But if we get caught, I'm telling Prime this was all your idea!" Sides said.
"If I were you, Sides, I'd worry more about that spark mate of his. Elita 1 is even scarier than Prime when she's angry, plus she's a crack shot with that plasma rifle of hers."
As the two continued their discussion, they made their way to Prime's quarters. They carefully hacked into the door controls, and the door slid open with a soft hiss. They heard a low rattling noise coming from the berthroom.
"What is that funny noise, Sides?" Sunny whispered.
Sides listened for a moment more, then burst into silent giggles. "Oh wow, bro! Prime is snoring!" He said, nearly doubled over now. Upon hearing that, Sunny also doubled over in silent laughter.
"We have to hurry, bro. We don't want to get caught in here." Sunny said, regaining his composure.
"Yeah, let's do this and get out of here!" Sides exclaimed quietly.
They quickly located the energon dispenser and poured in the remaining unrefined energon, and left Prime's quarters, locking the door behind them. After disposing of the empty container, they returned to their quarters, and went to recharge, still chuckling about their latest prank.
Optimus and Elita awoke bright and early the next morning, and Elita busied herself heating some energon for Optimus. After it was warm enough, she filled an extra large cube and brought it to him.
"Here you go, sweetspark. I made you extra today, because I know you have a meeting with Galloway today, and those meetings are always so long. You probably won't be able to get anymore until dinner, and I don't want my mech starving when he gets home. Galloway is enough to deal with." Elita said, sweetly, handing him the extra large cube.
"Thank you, my love." He rumbled softly, giving her a quick peck on the cheek plates. Taking the cube from her, he drank it quickly and threw the empty cube in the trash. "I need to get to that meeting now, Elita. I will see you later this evening, sweetspark."
Optimus exited his quarters and quickly made his way to the hangar where Galloway, Lennox, and Epps were waiting to discuss the latest Decepticon threat. Entering the hangar, he walked over to the catwalk that the humans were seated around a small table, awaiting the Prime. Optimus lowered himself into an enormous chair designed with his massive height and weight in mind, and began to speak.
"Good morning, gentlemen. I trust you all are ready to begin?" Optimus asked.
"Get on with it, Prime, I haven't got all day. Unlike you, I actually have something important to do. I don't get to go gallivanting all over the world chasing a nonexistent threat!" Galloway sneered.
"Can it, Galloway! You haven't seen the Decepticons like Epps and I have! You don't know what they are capable of!" Lennox yelled.
"Please, let us remain calm, gentlemen. Arguing amongst ourselves solves nothing. That is the Decepticon way, not ours." Optimus said. No one noticed Optimus beginning to squirm slightly. Unbeknownst to the humans, Prime was beginning to feel a slight discomfort in his tanks. Being Prime, he ignored it and continued with the meeting, discussing the latest attacks. Optimus tried valiantly to hide his growing discomfort, but much to his chagrin, he found he could no longer ignore the painful cramping in his tanks. Knowing what was coming, and wanting desperately to retain his dignity, he interrupted Lennox as he was discussing the attack on Shanghai.
"Excuse me, Major Lennox, but I need to see Ratchet, as I am feeling a bit unwell this morning. We will continue this meeting tomorrow, perhaps." Optimus said.
"Understood Optimus; feel better, boss bot" Lennox said.
Optimus turned around, but before he could walk away, Galloway spoke up. "Don't you walk away from me, you overgrown tin can!" He yelled. "I am not leaving here until I have some explanations, or I will recommend the shutdown of this whole organization!" He yelled, flailing his arms about.
"Mr. Galloway, I assure you, I will be more than happy to continue this tomorrow, but right now I am feeling a bit unwell and must take my leave. If you will excuse me." Optimus turned around again, now with a sense of urgency, and began to walk away. Galloway opened his mouth to yell at Prime again, but before he could say a word, it happened.
The resulting "wind" was enough to send Galloway flying off the catwalk and across the hangar, but luckily for him (nuts!) he landed on a pile of training mats and lay there in a daze, shocked, but relatively unharmed. Lennox and Epps stood there speechless for a moment, and burst into hysterical laughter.
"My apologies, gentlemen." Optimus muttered lowly, faceplates flush with embarrassment. He turned and exited the hangar and quickly ran for the medbay, but not before another loud BRAAAP! was heard in the hallway.
"Whoa Epps, that was ripe! I never knew the big bot had that in him!" Lennox said, still laughing hysterically.
"I know what you mean, man! He literally blew Galloway away! Serves the jerk right, yelling at boss bot like that!" Epps was doubled over, holding his stomach by now.
By this time, Galloway had recovered and hollered up at the catwalk where Lennox and Epps were trying to regain some composure, and failing miserably. "You two clowns can tell Prime that I will consider this an attack on my person, and it will be dealt with accordingly" Galloway said, as he stormed out of the hangar.
Well, there's the first chapter. Galloway got what he deserved, didn't he? I just couldn't resist putting him in the line of fire, so to speak! I am going to try to do a chapter for most of the bots from the first movie, as I don't quite know how to write Jolt, Que, Dino, Mudflap, or Skids. So that leaves Bee, Ironhide, Ratchet, and Jazz. I may try to include Elita and Chromia, but no promises! Let me know how you liked the first chapter, and who you would like to see next, and I will use whoever has the most votes. Otherwise, I'll just choose myself. Until All Are One!