Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for taking so long to update this story. Life got in the way. My mom had lung cancer and I've been taking care of her. She passed away last month, and I've been busy taking care of her final expenses. Enough sad stuff, I'm in the mood for a good laugh! Let's see what finally happens to the twins, shall we? *snickers*
Ratchet had been working tirelessly for days trying to figure out the Autobots' *ahem* explosive problem. The human soldiers had to evacuate because of the noxious odor, and several Autobots wished to, as well! Neither Optimus nor Ironhide had been able to get anywhere near their sparkmates, and both mechs were getting cranky. A cranky Optimus was bad, but a cranky Ironhide was lethal! Their mates were none too happy, either! Both were deadly enough on the battlefield, but if you anger either one (especially Chromia) and you had better run like Unicron himself was after you! Both couples were becoming more frustrated by the minute because every time they would try to get close to their respective mates, one would always backfire loudly! Talk about spoiling the moment! Never mind the fact that their quarters were almost uninhabitable due to the stench.
Sam and Mikaela had found Bumblebee's backfires hilarious at first, but after a few days in Sam's garage, the stench was unbearable! Poor Bee was so ashamed at being unable to control the backfiring, he hid behind his battle mask. The last thing the young bot wanted was to upset his charge. Sam tried to reassure him that he wasn't upset, but Bee knew Sam wanted the backfiring to stop. Both knew there was nothing that could be done until Ratchet found what was causing it and could treat every bot.
One positive thing about the backfiring was no Decepticons! A few days after the backfiring started, Megatron led his Decepticons on an attack in Washington to retrieve an Allspark shard he believed to be in Autobot possession. Optimus led the bots in a ferocious attack to stop them and prevent any further loss of life, human or Autobot at their hands. The Autobots fought bravely, but it seemed the backfiring was their most effective weapon! Ironhide was busy fighting Starscream and was firing his cannons left and right at the cowardly seeker, when Skywarp warped in directly behind him. He raised his weapon to fire point blank at Ironhide, when - BRAAAAAAAAAAAP! Ironhide backfired, stunning Skywarp and leaving him an easy target for Sideswipe to eliminate. Elsewhere, Jazz was using his backfiring to his advantage. Being a mater saboteur, he was very much aware of everything around him, and hyper aware of his own systems. He knew exactly where Decepticon scouts would be hiding and made sure to pass by every one of them and backfire, knocking them senseless for a moment, or making them scream in disgust, giving away their position to Autobot frontliners nearby. Optimus was busy fighting Megatron and he had Megatron pinned to the ground, his legs firmly around Megatron's head, and his weight holding him down so Megatron was unable to move. Optimus felt that all too familiar rumbling in his tanks, but decided to keep fighting. He knew if he could finish Megatron, the Decepticons would be weakened, and he might just be able to end this war for good. Megatron managed to get one arm free and punched Optimus in the abdomen. Before Optimus could even try to stop it, a mighty explosion was heard, but not from anyone's weapons. This explosion came from the mighty Prime's tanks! BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! The battle came to a complete standstill, every Autobot and Decepticon stopped dead in their tracks at the enormous noise. Megatron, who was unfortunate enough to have his faceplate directly in the line of fire, had a horrified expression on his faceplate. His processor began to spark, and he stiffened and collapsed. Optimus, realizing Megatron had collapsed, released his hold on him and rose to his feet. Starscream, having been on the receiving end of a few of Ironhide's backfires was quick to use the chance to escape. Soundwave, loyal as he was to Megatron, quickly grabbed the warlord and called a retreat, carrying Megatron with him. The Autobots were too busy cracking up at Megatron glitching to stop the Decepticons from leaving. They hadn't been seen nor heard from since that battle, and that was weeks ago.
After the battle, Ratchet returned to trying to figure out what was causing the backfiring. He had tried everything, running scans on all the bots, drawing their energon and testing that, checking everything he could think of, and he was at his wits end. The only thing he hadn't checked was the energon supply, but he made that himself. That couldn't be the cause, could it? Making up his mind, he took a sample from the dispenser in his medbay. Putting it into a machine capable of breaking down substances into their base elements, he waited for the results. What he saw shocked him to his very core! What was unprocessed energon doing mixed in with processed energon? He made the energon himself, and knew without a doubt he had made every batch perfectly. That only left one possible explanation. Someone deliberately mixed the processed energon in with the processed energon. They had put just enough in to cause problems, but not enough to alert bots to the taste of it. Ratchet checked all of the dispensers in the base and found all of them contained the mixture. By this time, Ratchet was furious! How dare anyone tamper with his energon! When he figured out who did it, he would weld them to the ceiling! He immediately began walking back to his medbay, and as he did, he wracked his processor trying to figure out who did it. It seemed that all the bots on base were affected, so he was puzzled. Why would anyone include themselves in a prank, especially one as disgusting and noxious as this was? His path took him past the Autobots quarters, and as he passed by Sunstreaker and Sideswipe's quarters, he heard the two laughing. He couldn't make out what they were saying through the thick steel door, but the words 'backfiring', 'prank', and 'energon' came through loud and clear! Using his medical override code, he unlocked their door. What he saw was enough to fry his circuits! There sat Sunny and Sides watching a video of all the bots during the prank, and they were laughing so hard they didn't see Ratchet at first.
"Sunny, did you see ol' bucket head when Optimus backfired in his faceplates? Oh Primus, that was priceless!
"I know, Sides! Oh man, this is the best prank we've ever come up with!"
Sides and Sunny continued laughing for a bit until Sides saw something out of the corner of his optic. Looking over, he saw an enraged Ratchet. If it were possible, steam would have been coming out of his audios.
"SUNSTREAKER! SIDESWIPE! WHEN I GET AHOLD OF YOU, I WILL WELD YOU TO THE CEILING!," He bellowed.
"Uh oh Sunny! RUN!," Sides hollered barreling out of their shared quarters. Sunny was right behind him, Ratchet hot on their skidplates.
"Don't call me that! Just shut your mouth and RUN, stupid!"
Ratchet bellowed something unintelligible after them, and reached into his subspace, pulling out two enormous wrenches, far bigger than he usually used when dealing with those two, and threw them both with a precision only he could muster, and with a loud clank, the twins went down, securely in stasis with large dents on their helms. Ratchet grabbed each by one leg and dragged them back to their quarters. He transformed his servo into a welder with a grin befitting Megatron on his faceplate and shut the door. The twins woke several hours later in their quarters. They were confused for a moment, as it appeared as if their berths were on the ceiling. After the fog cleared, they realized THEY were the ones on the ceiling! What's more, they couldn't see each other's faceplates, as Sunny's faceplate was stuck by Side's skidplate, and vice versa. Then they noticed two tubes within reach of their mouths. Before they had time to wonder about them, a voice was heard.
"You thought it would be funny to make us all backfire? I think it's only fair you two get to participate in the joke. You two will see what we've all been dealing with as of late. Those tubes are connected to two large vats of your wonderful mixture. You both will stay up there until all of the energon is finished! And to get your party started, I took the liberty to fill your tanks for you while you were out. Have fun!" Ratchet left, chuckling evilly. Optimus was waiting in the hallway.
"You sounded a bit like Megatron in there, Ratchet. How long are you planning on leaving them up there?"
"As I said, until the energon is gone. Those vats should last them about two earth weeks. That is about how long we've been suffering with this infernal backfiring!" Ratchet groused
Meanwhile, back in Sunny and Side's quarters, the two bots were trying to get loose, but failing, realizing they were welded fast. Both of them had been feeling rumbling in their tanks, but had been too focused on trying to get down to pay attention. Then the cramping started. Both of them knew they wouldn't be able to hold back much longer.
"Uh, Sunny? I think I have - BRAAAAAAAAAP- a problem" Sides said, sheepishly.
Will you just shut -BRAAAAAAAAAAP!- up! "Ugh, that stinks! How long do you think that energon will last?"
"I'd say maybe a couple of weeks, why?" Sides questioned.
Ugh, that's foul! Thanks, Sunny! Right in my faceplate!" Sides whined.
"I can't exactly help where my skidplate is right now, stupid!
"MY PAINT! MY BEAUTIFUL FACEPLATE! IT'S RUINED!" Sunny yelled. "Primus, that stinks!
Meanwhile, all the bots were outside Sunny and Side's quarters, listening to the whole exchange. They were all laughing so hard energon tears were rolling down their faceplates, even Optimus! Ratchet had cleaned out the dispensers and filled them with fresh energon, and everyone's systems were slowly returning to normal. It would still be quite a few days before the humans could return to base, though. It needed to be thoroughly aired out, first!