The sad, sad things that are wrong in our beautiful fandom. I've just noticed these things as I was reading. No, they're not completely bad if the plot of the story is captivating: but put more than six of them in one story and you can COUNT ME OUT.

Warning: some of the things I say are pretty bold (and that's why this is rated T).

Disclaimer: Newsies, it doesn't belong to me (yet!).


Spot and Racetrack are either involved in a love triangle with a girl, or they're having a homosexual romantic (romantic meaning violent and sexual) affair.

Dutchy is either a total idiot or extremely smart (or not mentioned at all).

Mush always gets the girls.

Male OCs are usually siblings and never have anything to do with the plot besides awkward borough tension.

Did anyone mention the bad lemon yet? No? Good. Avoid that topic.

STOP THE PRESSES! David has parents?

Crutchy never gets the girls (if he does, it's a rare thing).

Specs is always intellectual and perverted.

Jack has a weird thing for EVERY CHILD MEMBER of the Jacobs family.

Slash pairings are usually super-predictable or EXTREMELY AWKWARD.

Every time someone puts a girl into their story, she is loved by everyone (and she's usually the only girl in the borough).

Medda's is only a place to meet, not a character who was majorly (and historically) involved in the strike.

Every time there is more than one girl, they're super-tough and independent or total whores.

Spot Conlon is either kindhearted and a total Mary-Sue or he's violent and evil.

Delancy brothers are never mentioned as the good guys.

Wiesel is either briefly mentioned or part of some pedophile slash pairing.

There's always a girl. She can either be amazing and really awesome, or a total Mary-Sue complete with tragic past flashbacks.

Girls usually just tuck their hair up into their hats instead of cutting it off like the smart idea that would be.

Spot gets all the sex.

Race/David get most of the buttsex.

Running back and forth from Manhattan to Brooklyn takes about 5 minutes, even though it's pretty far apart and across a huge bridge.

Race never gets soaked for making fun of Brooklyn.

The accents people write are slightly difficult to read and don't only appear in the dialogue, but throughout the entire story.

Sarah? Who's Sarah? Is she important to the plot? No? Okay.

Les? What's a Les?

Pulitzer and the entire main backstory of newsies is totally ignored.

Characters who ended up in jail at the end of the movie magically re-appear to take up their old jobs.