L is for Lucidity

Most couples, at some point in time, see the other when they're not entirely lucid. That seemed to happen to Gambit and Rogue a lot more than most.

Rogue had seen Gambit drunk only a few times, and usually it was in the company of Logan. Besides the few, awful times that were brought on by his occasional bouts of self loathing, it was generally amusing. Gambit once had stumbled into her room hammered, supported by a smirking Logan who tossed him onto Rogue's bed. Gambit landed with a giggle ("I shit you not," Rogue said the next day when Gambit denied it) and snuggled up to Rogue, curling around her leg. Rogue raised an eyebrow and looked to Logan for an explanation.

"I thought you didn't approve of us staying in the same room?" Rogue said, teasingly.

"I don't," Logan said with a shrug. "But I ain't on barf duty tonight. He's your problem." With that, he turned around and left, annoyingly sober.

Rogue looked down at Gambit, curled around her like a kitten, and couldn't muster up any irritation. She didn't exactly like cutesy things. She'd had a stuffed turtle, but had never ooh-ed and ah-ed at teddy bears or baby dolls or anything like that. But Gambit, rubbing his face on her pant leg like cat marking its scent, made her suddenly understand fangirls' urges to squeal.

When she tried to stand, he huffed and curled in tighter, and started licking her pant leg. Rogue sighed and reached down, trying to disentangle him from her legs but he just gripped tighter. "Sug, I gotta at least brush my teeth before bed," she said, trying to reason with him. Apparently drunk Gambit gave no fucks at all, and he just shook his head. She tried to be irritated but was entirely too amused.

Rogue woke up the next morning to Gambit lying the wrong way on the bed, his feet in her face. She groaned, throwing his legs away from her. Gambit grunted with the sudden contact, sitting straight up. "Whazzgoin'on? What? Oh god," he groaned, grabbing his head.

"Morning sunshine," Rogue grumbled and pulled herself out of bed. She hadn't slept well at all with a drunk, kicky Gambit at her side. She stumbled into the bathroom, feeling disgusting from the lack of sleep, and moaned at her reflection. Her hair was sticking up in every direction and the bags under her eyes looked vaguely like she and Gambit had gotten in a fight. He came up behind her, a little dizzy from the hangover.

"Chair," he started. "I mean, chère."

Rogue snorted and started brushing out the rat nest that was her hair. "You better feel lucky, Cajun. Anyone else would be sleeping in the hallway."

"I appreciate it," he muttered. "Have any aspirin?" Rogue tossed him a bottle and he raised his eyebrows. "Midol?"

"It's basically Tylenol," she said. "You're not going to grow ovaries."

He wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his head on her shoulder. "Have I mentioned how much I love you?"

She smiled, reaching back to run her hand through his hair. "I love you, too. If you weren't so adorable, I'd have kicked you out."

Gambit never saw Rogue get wasted drunk, she didn't especially like the feeling of being the out of control, especially with her mutation, but he did see her doped up on pain killers. Logan had the bad timing of being out on a training mission with some junior X-Men when Rogue had broken her arm. She'd been trying to coax a teleporter student off the roof when she was knocked off her ladder by a mutant football game gone awry. The kids, terrified as they were, ran right to Hank to help her up.

Hank had to reset her arm, which had broken in three spots, until Logan could come back and lend his healing abilities. He insisted on giving her painkillers, mostly for her own benefit, but also because he didn't want to end up whacked over the head by a ticked off Rogue. By the time Gambit had made it down to the med lab, Rogue was already dosed.

"Remy!" she cried when he came in. He approached the table she was lying on, arm wrapped securely. "Hi!"

Gambit suppressed a grin, barely. "How you feeling, Roguey-Roo?"

Rogue giggled. "Roo? Like in Winnie the Pooh?"

"You're precious," he said, patting her lightly on the head.

"So are you," she said, smiling up at him. "You're pretty."

"I try," Gambit said, flipping his hair.

"And I'm pretty too, damn it," she said.

"Oh very pretty. And dangerous too. You're like a leopard. Or a pink tazer."

"I got my own tazers," she said, wiggling her fingers.

"That you do, mon chèrie."

"Remy," she said, face suddenly turning into a scowl. "My arm hurts."

Gambit's face turned sympathetic and he leaned down, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I know, mon amour, I know."

She turned her face into his shoulder and he fumbled behind him for a chair so he wouldn't have to stand up and move her. She mumbled something into him arm but he had no idea what it was. Two seconds later she was passed out, uninjured arm clinging to Gambit like he was her favorite teddy bear. Hank admitted that he may have overdone it on the pain medicine a little bit.

While he had to admit that had been ridiculously cute, the next time she wasn't herself wasn't. It was in fact one of the scariest moments of his life. Rogue had had to absorb a mutant that Gambit was ready to describe as purely bat shit crazy. Mission over, bad guy back in jail, they'd loaded into the jet and headed back to the mansion. Gambit sat quietly by Rogue while she rested her elbows on her knees, hand cradled in her hands. He let her be, careful not to touch her. This was time he knew she needed after an absorption to get her head together. She beelined out of the jet as soon as they landed. Logan and Gambit exchanged a look, for once being on the exact same page. Both wanted to help the Rogue they loved (in very different ways) and both knew that the best thing for her was to let her sort through it herself.

By the time dinner was over, Gambit couldn't wait anymore. He went up to Rogue's room and was about to knock when he heard the unmistakable sound of glass breaking. He opened the door quicker than he ever had before to see Rogue standing in the shards of her dresser mirror. The blankets were ripped off the bed, pictures were crooked, and the floor was littered with personal possessions.

"Rogue," Gambit said cautiously. "What's going on?" When he got closer, he noticed the bloody knuckles and the holes in her walls and windows. He swore under his breath.

"Rogue has left the building!" she said with a grandiose bow. "I'm her wonderful replacement, full of intrigue and blood- NO. Get out get out get out!" Rogue suddenly slammed her hand into the side of her head as if she was trying to knock the other personality from her head. Voices erupted from her mouth, some he recognized, some he didn't.

"You just gonna stand there, bub, or are you what?

What a sad little girl, all alone in her sad little world.

My dear, if you had just died for our cause, we wouldn't have all this pain now would we? The mutant community has you to blame.

Fucking mutie, dirty scum ass piece of-

Rogue damn it, get a fucking grip.

Stop stop stop stop!"

Gambit stood transfixed, helpless. He had no idea what to do in this kind of situation. Would talking to her make it worse? Would she even recognize him? Would she lash out? Before he could make a decision, Rogue's face twisted into a snarl and the slow drawl of the night's crazy mutant oozed from her mouth. "For the cause," she hissed and punched Gambit right in the temple. The last thing he saw before his hazy vision faded was Rogue standing in the middle of a circle of glass, laughing and crying.

When he came to, his head was a pounding like a bass drum. He couldn't remember where he was at first, but as soon as he opened his eyes, it came right back. He sat up, frantically looking around, afraid that Rogue had left the room, but there she was, sitting in the far corner, shaking from head to toe. He managed to stand and slowly made his way over to her, approaching her like you would a wounded animal.

"Rogue," he said softly, kneeling in front of her.

"Am I?" she asked, voice equally low. "I don't know anymore."

Gambit grabbed her hand and held it to his chest. "Push him down, Rogue, push them away. You know you can, it's just like any other psyche."

"I know," she said. "But…no, he's not. He's like me."

"What do you mean?"

Rogue's eyes were fixed on her knees when she answered him. "He's…there are so much voices in his head. It's like he's me and there are a billion people inside him and I got them all and they won't just be quiet. And if I don't concentrate, everyone in my head starts Mardi Gras and my body is bourbon street."

Gambit sat next to her, pulling her into his body. She clung to him, the last solid thing around her that she knew was real. "I'm not going away, chère. The Rogue I love is in control, and I'll be here until your sexy warrior self puts them all in their places." Rogue smiled, though it was a bit pained, and they sat in silence. It took most of the next day, and a few psyches having tantrums, but Rogue got everyone locked away and was back to herself. Gambit stayed next to her the whole time.

A month before their one year anniversary, Gambit was thrown off a bridge. He smashed into the water and nearly drowned before Kitty managed to get him to safety. She and Rogue sat with him on the bank of the river, waiting for Hank, both too scared to move him in case something was seriously wrong. Gambit was bleeding badly from a gash in his side and his whole body felt like he's been hit by a semi truck. It hurt to breathe, to think, to exist.

Rogue bit her lip, wanting to hold his hand or something but unsure where he didn't hurt. She called his name, begging him to stay conscious. That was when Gambit started hallucinating. He saw Belladonna, twirling a knife behind Rogue's back. Magneto, dragging her away from him. Kitty telling Rogue that Gambit was dead, that they needed to leave. He called out, thrashing. Kitty and Rogue attempted to hold him down, trying to keep him from hurting himself more. Kitty looked at Rogue, panic in her eyes when Gambit finally passed out.

Hank, Kitty, and Rogue managed to get Gambit into the jet and then the med lab. Hank ran a battery of tests before confirming it was a concussion and cracked ribs. Gambit wasn't excited to tell her about what he'd seen when he was blacking out, but he did.

"My biggest fear," he confessed, "is you being taken from me."

"I'm not leaving you," Rogue said, running fingers down his arm. "They can try to drag me away as much as they want, but don't underestimate how viscous and violent I can be. They try to take what I love, they'll be picking their teeth up from the dirt."

Gambit smiled and kissed her hand. "Thanks my fierce little daisy."

Thanks to reviewers, TheLittleRoguex, HermioneSakuraGardner07, couplest, Booklover9477, Suze Nora, AnnaWalker.92, Cheyenne83, and Gidgeygirl. You all rock.