A/N~ I am back!

But not officially. I'm using a homework excuse to post this.

I think some of you were confused by this whole advice idea, so let me define the rules and show how this story will run.


RULES AND GUIDELINES

These chapters will not be just consisting of answers to your questions. That's just an extra thing I decided to do for you guys. It will always have a chapter like story at the end (like that Perfect one) in which Puck shares his experiences. That story will be about a topic either chosen by me…or one inspired by a reviewer.

This is NOT an "ask the character about himself fic". There are plenty of those already and it gets really old when every question is "Do you like Sabrina?" The questions have to be asking for ADVICE.

I will include Puckabrina in this, but in my own way, okay?

The reviews don't HAVE to be questions. You can simply review the chapters instead. In fact, I like those reviews better.

For those of you who have already read Cold Feet, you know that this is not a twelve year old Puck answering. This Puck is an ADULT…around eighteen and above. That means that he is not as silly and immature as before…he knows more, and even if he hasn't quite figured out what Sabrina means to him, that doesn't mean he's completely clueless. He is writing this so he can get ideas for a book he's going to publish, called-you guessed it- Advice from the Trickster King. All these experiences he shares will be a flashback. Something that happened before in his life that taught him a lesson.

Now let us proceed…..


Anon replies

oah ehm ghee: Thanks for reviewing! But that question isn't asking for advice…

Kathie: Well, well, well. Long time no review, huh? I'm glad your back! No, not everything has to be about FTFT, ya know. Thank you! Oh, Puck doesn't like that question! Thanks for reviewing!

Ninjabunny: Thank you so much! I'm happy you thought so. Thanks for reviewing!

Iana Moone: Thanks for reviewing! Puck liked the second question best :)

Fat Head: Nice name :) Haha, thanks for reviewing! That was a good question.

PenguinLoverGurl: Oh, yes, that's very scary: P But I'm more threatening. Whoa, that's sad. You can't talk to her at all? I hope Puck can help you. Thanks for reviewing! Issy…or was it Isi?


...

I knew you all thought I was a genius!

Look at all these questions!

Wait…these are a lot of questions.

Who do you think I am? Doctor Phil? I can't answer all these!

Of course, I, being the kind and generous and person I am, have decided to help you helpless little humans out.

Just be grateful, bow down, get me a bowl of popcorn and enjoy the show!


lovelylamb1999:Say you're being chased by a... green monkey, wearing Sabrina's clothes and a blonde wig. What do you do?

A: How is this advice? Or…did this ever happen to you?

Me? I would laugh. Then look at Sabrina and say, "I always knew you were a monkey in disguise! Look, there's your reflection!"

Then both the monkey and Sabrina would chase me…and I'd have nightmares about it for the rest of my life. Yep, I highly recommend you use my idea.

lovelylamb1999: How do you get on the good side of a mean teacher?

A: Hahahahahah. Oh, my sides hurt from laughing… You're asking me that?

If you wanted to know how to get on the bad side of the teacher, that would be easier.

But you know, this is actually a pretty easy question. It's simple. Be the opposite of how I was when I was in school. Do your work. Suck up to the teacher. Be like those goody goodies that curse the earth with their unrelenting goodness.

Of course that teacher might take advantage of that and torture you with even more work…so show them whose boss! You! Prove them wrong…in school stuff, everyday stuff, whichever! And then that teacher will respect you! Or fear you…I like the latter.


Kathie: What to do when you have a crush that you KNOW doesn't like you back, and you know the crush ain't going away?

A: How should I know? I don't like anybody, and even if I did, it would be impossible for them to not like me!

But on the slight chance (Gazillion to zero) that ever happened to me…well, just make them like you, how hard can it be? But before you try to capture said person's heart…look again. Are they really worth all the trouble? They could be like Mayor Heart and make you massage their feet!

If you've tried to be close to that person, if you've tried to help them out and be there for them, if you've done everything that could ever make them like you (that does not include sucking up, giving chocolates, doing homework, paying them….because let's be honest, that means they'll only like you as a slave. Hah ha, that's like I like Grimm! Except…she never obeys me….) then they're not worth it. Who cares about someone who never acknowledges you? Just forget about them and let time do justice….who knows, you might yet get your "happily ever after". But remember to send me a box of chocolates if you do. I deserve it.


oah ehm ghee: Define the relationship: your example Sabrina.

A: I don't think you understood the advice part.

I don't like personal questions…and my relationship with Sabrina is like the relationship of a master and slave…I'm the master.

And no, I am not dreaming! My eyes are wide open!


Arisha : So, Puck what do you do if you have a really stupid teacher who completely ignores you no matter how hard you try to be good in class, get your work done and get good grades. Gives you a lower mark when you know you deserve better and always pick on you!

A: Why would you try hard in class? That's-that's like ordering your own coffin before you die! Still, you're actually doing work and she's ignoring you? That is one stupid teacher.

Get revenge! Prank her! Glop grenades, gooey egg plants mixed with prunes…doesn't matter as long as she pays!

But the logical approach (Ugh, I can't believe I just said that) would be to tell your parents or talk to the teacher. Tell her what you think and see if she agrees. Then you can prank her.


Psycho Crazy Curly Girl: The she- beast of a teacher that everybody hates. What to do or how to annoy the fudge out of her.

A: You be like me. Enough said.

(Ex. Spread rumors that she is raising an army of cockroaches to take over the school. Or you can convince her that the lottery ticket you bought in her honor won a gazillion dollars and make her day…then say, "Oops, wrong number, guess you didn't win after all!" to ruin it.)


Ninjabunny: What do u do when someone dumps u on txt? Plz answer the awesome trickster king puck!

A: What? I admit that I am awesome and all….but aren't you dumping text on me?

So, you're talking about when people write in text speak, right? Usually, I wouldn't care and all, but it gets annoying. I am an amazing person and deserve to be spoken to amazingly. Not as if the person is too lazy to even right properly!

Just leave them to themselves. Tell them to write properly or don't write at all.


Fat head: How do I convince my mum to buy me a kitten?

A: First of all, is your name seriously fat head? Thanks! You just gave me another insult to call Grimm!

You want one of those furry little beasts? One tried to eat my chimp! But if you're sure, dress up like a kitten and act like one. Be the kitten… until your mom has no choice but to give in and make you human again.


PUCKBRINAISAWESOME: Can you give us prank advice? I want to do some on my siblings!

A: I can see you're taking after me! I remember convincing Mustardseed that aliens had taken over the earth, back when we were kids. He actually believed me, but that was because I woke him up I the middle of the night, disabled all the lights, hired people in costumes to try to break in through the windows, had awesome sound effects…and of course, I locked the door. Oh, and did I happen to mention he was terrified of aliens at the time?

Alone in the dark. Small, helpless child. Ha-ha. He's never forgiven me, but at least it's a special memory that we'll never forget and can cherish in our hearts forever. You can try something similar, but target it after their worst fears.


Iana Moone: How do you pull a prank without getting caught? (I always get caught.)

A: It's all in the planning, my friend.

Think of all possible outcomes and problems you might face. Maybe that creaky floorboard that always gives you away, or that annoying sibling that always tells on you.

Make sure that nothing can change the objective, that is, the goal.

And your goal is to carry out a prank without getting caught.

Don't change your attitude or act any different, they'll suspect you immediately if you do. Be yourself…but sneakier. Look at Grimm, I hate to admit it, but she's actually good at sneaking out and defying the rules.

And the timing, it's all in the timing.

Do not do the prank in the middle of the afternoon when no one's home or at evening when everyone (especially your parents) are there to interfere.

Pull the prank when they least expect it. And if that means you have to wake up at 3:00 AM…so be it. Who says pulling pranks is easy? It takes genius!


Velika Silvertounge: How do I get rid of my goody goody reputation without getting in trouble with the teachers?

A: Ah, another one.

You goody goodies annoy me, but at least you want to change. Good for you! Join the delinquents and misfits! You will find me a fitting ruler.

If it's the reputation you're worried about, target the people who you want to think about you a certain way. If they think you're a goody goody, prove them wrong.

If it's their opinion that makes your reputation…show them that you don't care what they think, that you are your own person. Someone like that isn't a goody goody.

Velika Silvertounge: Is it possible to hate someone like a little brother?

A: Oh, it's possible, all right.

But that depends on what your definition of hate is. If it's," I hate him because he totally embarrasses me and is just so stupid and I can't believe he's my brother would somebody please turn him into a cupcake and eat him!" kind of hate, that's perfectly normal.

Velika Silvertounge: How can I get people to stop saying that me and my nemesis would make a cute couple?

A: You too?

It's annoying isn't it?

Kick them. Really hard. Then put maple syrup over their heads until they promise never to mention it again.


PenguinLoverGurl: Okay, so my BFF moved three years ago, when we were in second grade. Now we're both in fifth grade. We used to email, but both of our mom's changed our email addresses. We then kept in touch on this one website, but she doesn't post anything anymore. She might have moved, but I'm not sure. What do I do? She's my best friend in Virginia (unless she moved) and I'm her best friend in Kentucky. We are like twins separated at birth! I don't want to lose my best friend! Please help! Think of it as losing Mustardseed or Sabrina or Daphne.

A: That important, huh? But you know, I wouldn't care that much if I lost them. I would celebrate! Maybe…

Why did your moms change your email addresses? Do they not want you two talking? If that's the case, then convince your mom's how important your friendship is. Maybe they'll let you talk again.

If that's not the problem or if it doesn't work…try to contact someone who knows your friend. They might know her email or phone number.


NoraeKaye: What do you do when you like someone?

A: How should I know? It's not like I like someone…nope….no one.

When you like someone, you act like a love stricken idiot. In other words, act like Uncle Jake, but just be careful…people will be willing to do suicide to escape you.


IronFeyFreak: Hmmmmmmm... What do you do when your mom makes you cut your hair and sends you to bed at 6:00PM when you refuse? And you wake up the next morning, only to have her threaten to have you shaved bald. This isn't personal at all! Twitch. At all.

A: Sure, it isn't.

Well, well, well, a mother that threatens to shave you bald lest you get a haircut.

Why does that sound so familiar? Yeah, my mom tried that on me. Several times in fact. She wanted her royal son to have perfectly cut, clean hair without any twigs and mud ruining the image. And I just don't do clean.

So every time she tried to take me to a salon or forced me to act distinguished, all her hard work would be for naught. My hair would come back as messy as ever.

Now, have you seen my mother? Perfect hair and clothes, she always looks as dignified as a queen (which makes sense since she is one).

One day, my mother fell into one of the many traps I had designed for my brother, I confronted her. I told her that if she wanted to decide how my hair should look, I'd decide how her hair would look.

Trust me. Scissors, a bowl of mud and twig soup, and me…that's not a pretty combination.

We negotiated, decided that I could keep my hair and she could keep hers. Of course, once she got out of the trap, I was grounded, but that's just a minor detail.

Negotiation is the key though. Come to an agreement both your mom and you can accept.


Allisocoolike: If half a dozen half a chickens laid half an egg in half a day, how many dill pickle seeds could the grasshopper with the peg leg kick into the bucket with his eyes closed while the goose is eating cheese?

A: What? What in the name of Oberon's socks is that supposed to mean? This isn't advice. Although I admire you for your creativity, I can't answer this.


Alexandra the Leopard: Wowzers, really embarrassing but, boy trouble. A boy I've known since kindergarten, and well um, he doesn't even talk to me anymore now, just quickly broken off eye-contact, small conversations here and there, and a lot of girls hit on him and Hang around him. *sigh* I just don't know what I did! Any ideas Puck?

A: This is a hard one. Are you sure he's the one ignoring you? Maybe it's you too. Maybe it's something entirely different.

Whatever the case it reminds me of a situation I was in before. Back in high school…


It was summer.

Hot, sweaty, sunny, beautiful summer. And I was stuck in a hot, sweaty, dark, ugly, classroom.

Well, it wasn't really that dark and ugly, but who in their right state of mind could call a school experience beautiful?

"Mr. Goodfellow, this is the seventh time I've found you not paying attention! Good Lord! What will I do with you, child?" My teacher, Mrs. Potts, scolded me.

"I'm not a child. And I am paying attention! Outside…" I added underneath my breath.

She gave a little tut tut and shook her head, but I knew she didn't really mind. After all, this was the Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast. She was short, stout and kindly, one of the only teachers who thought I was a "young boy who deserved a chance".

Of course, that didn't stop her from lecturing me.

"You really need to control all that impatience and rashness, dear, one day poor decision making will come back to haunt you." She spoke with such genuine care that I almost believed her.

Almost.

I yawned widely, just as the bell rang. I gathered my stuff and hightailed it out of there so fast, Usain Bolt would have been proud of me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. The Trickster King never made any mistakes.

What he did make was mischief and fun.

"Man, this has got to be the hottest day ever. I'm burning over here!" One of my friends, Omar, grinned at me.

"Let's go some where to cool down…if only there was a water park in Ferry Port Landing." Amir, my other friend groaned.

I was about to respond when some girls sidled up to me.

They were beyond annoying. All I could comprehend coming out of their mouths was high squeaked nonsense: "Oh, Robin can you-squee. You're so –squeel- This is so-"

Ugh. And I thought the day couldn't get any worse.

That's when I saw Grimm coming towards me. Her blond hair was tied back in a pony tail and her face seemed happy enough until she spotted me. Then it formed a scowl.

I didn't get it. Why did she always have to act like seeing me was the worst thing that could ever have happened? Like I was gum stuck at the bottom of her shoe that she couldn't get off. In the beginning there had been some playfulness behind her mood, she got angry a lot, but she usually got over it.

Nowadays, it was an attitude issue. But not with everyone else… just me.

She and I never talked to each other in school much and things always seemed, I don't know, uncomfortable and awkward?

Whatever the case, it was like we were two different people from when we had first met. Even the prank playing didn't account to much because she didn't react the same as she used to. She mostly skirted around me and I did the same.

Still, who did she think she was to always look at me like that? With distaste? (Whoa, big word there.)

Well, two could play that game.

I immersed myself in conversation and pretended not to see her when she came up to me.

"Puck?" She glared at me.

I ignored her.

"Puck!" Her fist plowed into my shoulder.

I gritted my teeth, suppressing a whimper that had somehow made its way up to my mouth.

I would not give her any satisfaction.

"What do you want now, Grimm?" I barely spared her a glance and made my voice sound as ignorant as possible.

"You are supposed to fly me home. I don't care if you have plans with your oh so popular friends! I feel all hot and gross and –ugh, just get me to the air conditioning already!"

I gave her a look of pity. "You are greatly misguided. You are in no way 'hot', but I admit the gross part was completely on track."

She fixed me with a glare so heated; it would have roasted marshmallows to a crisp. I shuddered to think what it would do to me if I didn't take her home.

"Fine." I pretended to make it sound like a great sacrifice, but in truth I didn't mind carrying her home that much.

It was one of the only times no one was around to make annoying comments or change the way we acted around each other.

It was one of the only times, I could ever concentrate on the little details about her without her wondering why I was staring.

I mean, I couldn't have her thinking that I considered her pretty. Because she wasn't! Not one bit!

The ride home was silent. Neither of us talked.

When we arrived at the house, we both breathed sighs of relief, grateful to be in the land of air conditioning again.

The relief, however, was short-lived.

The Old Lady came into view, carrying so many boxes, I couldn't even see her head!

"Puck! Sabrina!" Her voice came muffled from behind the boxes. Acting wisely, she put them down and wiped her brow. "Don't just stand there! I need all the help I can get. It's summer cleaning!"

No, I didn't hear wrong. She really said, summer cleaning.

"What? But Granny, we already finished spring cleaning!" Sabrina exclaimed.

"Yeah, and I couldn't work even then. I'm allergic, remember?" I added.

The Old Lady just smiled and said, "Oh, I remember leibling. How could I not, with you reminding me every day? But, I think the best remedy is a little honest work!"

"Honest? Yeah, right. As if there was ever a time when this one was honest." Sabrina crossed her arms, like it was a fact.

"This one has a name, you know. And so what if my past was a little crooked? I am new person, with only ninety nine percent of me as deceitful. That's an improvement!" I defended my dignity.

"Well, 'Mr. New Person', I expect you to be able to do a little cleaning and show us how you've reformed. That spring cleaning didn't cover nearly half of the house. This time, we'll be sure to hit all of the corners! Unpack those boxes, dust all the furniture, vacuum the carpets, clean the windows and we just might see about going to that water park for the weekend!"

Oh, hip hip hooray. The only part I heard that didn't make my brain go all fuzzy was the water park. And even that was horrific since we would have to earn it.

"All right, Granny." Sabrina responded before I could put my say in.

She began unpacking the boxes as I stared at her openmouthed.

"How could you agree to do that? Traitor! You better do all the work." I threatened menacingly.

Grimm straightened up and even I couldn't miss the venom in her eyes.

"Traitor? You're calling me that? You're such a hypocrite!"

This time, I must have heard wrong.

"How have I ever betrayed you in any way?" I asked in disbelief.

She looked as if she was about to say something, but stopped.

"Whatever. It's nothing." And she resumed back to work as if nothing had happened.

I put out a hand to stop her.

"Do you smell that?" I sniffed the air.

She looked puzzled and sniffed as well. "No, smell what?"

I looked into her eyes. "A lie. I smell a lie and it's stinky. What aren't you telling me?"

Grimm abandoned her work and collapsed on the couch, fanning herself.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She shrugged off my question.

"I'm talking about you. Always looking at me as if I stole your puppy! Do you know how much it annoys me? You don't even have a puppy!" I exclaimed.

She turned to face me.

"What are you saying? You're the one that always ignores me, like I have some sort of disease."

"Well…you did give me the puberty disease."

"Puck! Sabrina! I don't hear working down there!" the Old Lady called from upstairs.

We both grimaced.

"Puck," Sabrina said in a hushed whisper. "Shut up about the puberty disease for once in your life."

"I'll shut up when you stop looking at me like a dead animal."

"But you are an animal."

"Old Lady!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Your unworthy slime ball of a granddaughter isn't working! Would you please take her away from me?"

The only answer I received was the sound of boxes being hauled across the floor.

"That's the first time I've heard you say please." Sabrina commented.

I glared at her, but this time it was more playful.

"It's a word that should constantly be coming out of your mouth when you're around me."

"Oh, be quiet…you know, I'm surprised granny didn't respond. People tend to respond better when you say please." She stated.

I considered that.

Then I tried- in vain-to speak. All that came out was a strangled croak as I fought an internal battle.

"Please?" I finally managed to choke out.

"Please what?" Her expression was astounded. Insulting really, I'm not that rude.

"Please, can you tell me why you treat me so differently all of a sudden, why you act like I'm some stranger..."

Yes, I said it.

Don't you dare look at me with such reproach! I couldn't stand it any longer, okay?

Grimm stared at me for a long time before answering. At least, it was a long time for me.

"Because you ignore me. You act like all those times we've been through-"

"All those times I saved your sorry behind." I corrected.

She glowered at me before continuing.

"You act like all the panic, and war and danger…as if that didn't even change you. As if you're the still the same old, arrogant Puck. As if you still don't care about…" This time, she stopped herself.

But that was okay. I had heard the unspoken word.

As if you still don't care about…me.

"Are you nuts? Of course I- I mean, uh. The only reason I stopped talking with you is because you stopped talking with me! You started it, so ha!" I pointed at her triumphantly.

"I did not, you overgrown monkey!" And she threw an empty box at me.

"Who you calling monkey, monkey?" I taunted.

At that, she dropped all of her boxes, rolled up her sleeves as if about to start a very messy job, and stalked towards me with a look on her face that scared me.

But not enough to stop me from grinning.

It still didn't make sense why we had both acted the way we did.

But who cared?

Life never made sense.

At least things weren't awkward anymore. I was thankful for that. So much in fact that, that I completely forgot about summer cleaning.

Even the promise of a water park couldn't beat an angry Sabrina Grimm.

Not for me anyway.


Advice # 4 : If you ever find yourself in a situation where somebody who you were very close to, somebody you cared a lot about, stops talking to you…don't give up. If they really meant that much to you, talk to them and try to work things out. As them what changed how things used to be. It's awkward…and occasionally painful. But I can tell you this…it's completely worth it.


A/N~ READ A/N!

All right, people! I stayed up till 11:00 to finish this for you. Now I need to ask you for a favor.

The only reason I was allowed to post this is for a homework excuse.

We're doing this cause and effect essay thing on a story we read in English. I can get bonus marks only if I post it online and get you people to comment on it.

So please, I know it's boring and all, but I made it short. Suffer through it.

WHOEVER COMMENTS ON IT MIGHT GET A DEDICATION. NOW READ.

Opening Act: Cause and Effect Composition

Amanda, the main character in Opening Act, comes from a musically talented family, consisting of a famous mother and brother. But her own singing skills are disastrous, resulting in low self confidence and the belief that she isn't talented or special. But that is far from the truth.

Later on in the story; after her boyfriend breaks up with her for a different girl, it is discovered that Amanda is poet. The heartbreak from the break up enables her to express her emotions and deal with being brokenhearted through writing poetry in her journal.

Everything changes however, once her mother accidentally reads the journal, thinking it was homework. When Amanda finds out, she becomes furious that her mom invaded her privacy and immediately stops talking to her. She doesn't want to hear what her mother has to say, because she doesn't want to be ridiculed and feels that her mother had no right to do what she did. As quoted, she said, "She sings about broken hearts. I live them." Due to the silence treatment she's giving her parents, she has no one to discuss her feelings with. That's why she eagerly waits for the moment when she can finally reveal everything to her brother.

It is the magical night at her brother's concert that ties up all these loose bonds.

Her mother calls her onstage as she sings a special song, the poem Amanda wrote. At first Amanda is fuming, embarrassed and terrified, all at the same time. She can't believe her mother would do something like this to her.

But as she slowly sees the crowd's enthusiastic response, she starts to smile. She lets the music flood her, and for the first time realizes what her mother was trying to say all along. She is an amazing person the way she is, and her poetry especially is a gift. Her family's talents are not meant to put her in a shadow; but instead let her shine.


All right. You survived.

Please comment on it, I seriously want those bonus marks. Tell me if I used good conjunctions, transitions, sentence variation etc

I will randomly choose a dedication next chapter from the people who comment on the essay and the chapter.

If your wondering about the whole, "It's so hot!" thing, it's because I'm burning over here! I don't care if it's not officially summer! I feel like I'm being boiled in soup and I already have those stupid mosquito bites( I hate bugs).

I'm tired. I'm cranky. I need sleep.

Review or I really will take two months to update :)

And sorry if there are mistakes. I'll edit this later. It was done in a rush.

Seriously though…if you guys can get me as much reviews as last chapter (29, whoa!), I will sneak on at 3:00 AM and write the next chapter.

Puck: She's lying. Her sleep is too important to her.

Me: Shut up. If you were grounded too, you wouldn't be talking.

Puck: HAHA! Sucks to be you…review guys, she's standing over with me with a hammer…and SHE'S GONNA SMASH MY HEAD….I'm scared.

Me: You should be. ALL of you. :)