94A/N~ I'm sorry for the huge wait guys! Really, really sorry! So here's an extra long chapter to make up for it (seventeen pages...be happy, folks)
Thank you for all the amazing reviews, I appreciate every single one of them! Even if they're three words long!
Just a reminder, since some people seem to be forgetting: The Puck giving the advice is an adult! Above eighteen! All the stories you read are memories! Sometimes he'll be sixteen years old (like in the last two chapters) and sometimes he'll be twelve (this chapter)! It changes.
AND HAPPY THANKSGIVING DAY IN CANADA! (Not sure if it's everywhere else)
Personally, I don't celebrate it, but who doesn't love a day off from school?
Anon Replies
Nectar: Thanks! Glad you liked it!
Guest: Thanks for reviewing! I'm really glad you think I'm doing a good job...so far...:)
Big Sister: Aww, thanks! That means a lot coming from you. Haha, it may not be funny to you...but for some reason it made me laugh. You do that.
Randomhater: EXACTLY!
Zeana: Whoa, it was a long review. I'm honoured :) Thanks, it makes ME all fluffy and happy inside when you say that. Anaez and Tera? Interesting...Gosh, I'm really sorry for the long wait! I'll try to give warning next time or at least try to update more often! Thank you for the review! Hope you're still reading this!
Alliegator: Really? Ah, it makes me so happy to read that! Thank you so much for reviewing!
Puck will answer that question...legally :)
Day Night: Well, that sucks :( Puck feels your pain.
PenguinLoverGurl: the correction was helpful enough! No need to apologize...Oh ..wow...are you seriously going through this drama when you're ...eleven? That's horrible...so horrible that I can't even believe it. SPEND LIFE HAVING FUN, ISI! NOT WORRYING OVER A BUNCH OF BOYS! Trust me on that.
oah ehm ghee: Thanks :) But trust me...the story was super boring. Puck likes that question...very much...
Alex Dunlap: First of all, I DIDN'T call One Direction stupid. I called them losers. There's a difference. Although, yes, they are stupid. Secondly, ha-ha, yeah, JB deserves it, doesn't he?
Music chic 25: Thanks for the question :)
Yes, I know the dedication for the essay thingy. You know what's really sad? I'm in a whole different grade and school now. It took me that long to update.
Now...this chapter is dedicated to... WireWriter! Otherwise known as ELECTRICITY (don't kill me, I couldn't resist)
And, yes, it was chosen, completely by random.
BUT THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HELPED ME ON THAT!
...
Whoa. You people sure ask some serious questions...no really, I was almost surprised for a moment.
But then I remembered that all these questions were for me and you trust me enough to ask me about the deepest concerns you have.
How touching.
Lara D: How do you become friends with a guy?
A: Thank you for not asking me for love advice. I'm so relieved that I actually said thank you! Astonishing, isn't it?
Friends. Guys. Well, I have a lot of guy friends, but I don't think that helps much because-let's be honest here- who wouldn't like me? All I can say is that if all you want with a guy is to be his friend, then you'll have to act like a guy. No, "Oh, I got my nails done!" or whatever girls say. You have to speak their language (that includes a lot of shouting and laughing...and other stuff you don't want to know about). Just act casual with them and be someone they can easily talk to.
Cat: How do I get SweetShireen to realize that I'm the much cooler Tutti Frutti? Because honestly, she's just embarrassing herself every time she denies it. I'd like for her to wake up from her pathetic little dreams and face reality.
A: I'm going to tell you the truth here.
Shireen is the COOLEST Tutti Frutti. And- and...uh...you'll never be better than her! So you need to accept the facts and go back into some hole and cry your heart out...
By the way, I'm tied to a chair with Shireen holding a hammer over my head. Her writing's really hard to read.
WireWriter: What would you do if your "best friend" is repeatedly dumping you for the new student? She says "sorry" when you confront her but then she goes and repeats it all over again the next day. Yes ,yes, I know this isn't your "expertise" but, can you give me a bit of your...interesting advice? Gracias.
A: How did you confront her? Did you just say, "I wish you'd hang out with me more?" or something like that? Because that's not enough. Friends like that need a slap in the face. And ice cold water thrown on them. With grasshoppers. (I'm offering.)
But if you're not the literal type, words work very well as a slap. Trust me on that. Just say it. "I don't like that you keep on ditching me when I'm supposed to be your best friend. If you don't have time for me then we really don't need to be best friends anymore." Or something wise and psychological like that.
Still no changes? Ditch her. There are better people out there.
Music chic 25: Dear puck, I have this crush on a really cute athletic guy. I want to tell him but I don't know how. Should I wait for him to make the first move or should I make the first move?
A: Ugh. Crush advice. As if I would know anything about that.
Just so you know, 'really cute athletic guys' can be total jerks. Grimm used to like a guy like that in high school (Can't understand it to this day) but he turned out to be a...donkey (I knew all along) and I would have beaten him up if Grimm hadn't got to him first. (By the way, Grimm may call me a jerk, but in reality I'm just an amazing person)
Uh, you make the first move? I don't know. Get to know him and maybe he'll get to know you! (The Marshmallow wrote that, I grabbed the keyboard before she could add, "And then you'll live happily ever after!")
Kiss Me Slow: Yo Puckeroni. There's this guy at my school. Basically he's mean, arrogant, a jerk...oh and he's gay. Now, I couldn't care less about that, but many people in my school do and I know he's getting bullied a lot. So my question to you, oh great Trickster, is what should I do? On one hand, the guys a jerk who's never been anything but disdainful towards me. On the other hand he may have a terrible personality but wouldn't anyone have one from the verbal abuse I have seen him get? Help me out?
A: Serious question here. You know me; I'm not that good with seriousness. There are people out there who support him and people who don't. I don't know what type of person you are.
All I'm saying is...don't be mean to him. Don't bully him. If you see other people bullying him, tell them to just leave him alone. Nothing good comes out of any type of abuse.
Red: Okay Puck, I have this friend. Let's call her Ann Smith. Ann and I have been friends since she was born. I mean, I was one, and at her birth. We were best friends until we were 10. (I'm now 14) Then her mother told her to write a list of people who bully her ( why I have no freakin' clue.). I was at the top of that list. Ann showed me that list (again, no freakin' clue why.). Now, she'll blow up if I take a seat that she wanted. (Not literally Puck, stop thinking about how you could use her guts. That's my job.) She seems to think that now that I know that I apparently bully her, she can bully me. Whenever her mother comes around, she acts like we never changed. That we're still those kids that stayed up till midnight talking about boys and that we are still "the best of buds". Well, we're not. Do you think you could tell me how to handle it? I'm about to lose it thinking about it.
A: The fake friend dilemma, huh?
A lot of people have tried to be my friend and turned out to be as fake as a plastic Barbie. (Funny thing is, they looked like Barbie too: fake hair, fake smile, etc) I'm taking it that you don't like her? Because if you don't, just go up to her and speak your mind, kick her butt to Pizza Hut...just something. Don't let her use you and get her way. But when you tell her, I suggest that there be an audience in the room (so she can't pretend it never happened), and don't beat around the bush. "Listen, Ann. I thought we were friends, but lately you've been acting like an enemy to me. I never did anything to hurt you, but if you want to hurt someone, find someone else. I don't want a friend who lies and doesn't understand that lies can hurt. Seriously, stop pretending. "
Try for some fake tears (they can easily be made by thinking of how you'll never be as great as me) and make your voice quaver (try not to laugh) and then make a dramatic exit.
If you don't feel comfortable talking to her then talk to your parents, friends or family...someone who understands you. (I recommend getting an older brother to break the ice; they tend to be protective to their siblings. I know I feel that way with Basil and the Marshmallow.)
And if you don't like either of those options, give her the cold shoulder. Completely ignore her and make it clear you don't want anything to do with her.
Alapest: Puck, what do you do if T-Rex (my two year old brother) takes over the world with an evil fashion diva Justin Bieber lover (my four year old sister) at his side?
A: If anybody's going to take over the world, it'll be me.
But if the impossible were to turn possible, I suggest you buy some earplugs. Immediately. Justin Bieber's music is known to be painful.
Airene Archerway: I have so many friends who love Twilight and think Harry Potter is stupid? How can I convince them that Harry Potter is the greatest series on earth?
A: I've never read the series (Duh, allergies!), but I have watched the movies and I know one thing for certain.
Any book or movie in which a cannibalistic, evil creature sparkles is stupid. Anything in which the main character cannot fight back and constantly needs saving is stupid. Anything in which the good guys always win and no one dies is unrealistic and therefore also stupid.
That's Twilight.
Anything in which people fight back, die in the process but at the least accomplish something is realistic. Anything in which the main focus is not romance-but something that involves killing- is awesome. And most importantly, anything in which the villain has no nose is very disturbing and therefore very cool.
That's Harry Potter.
Which is better? You don't even need to be as smart as me to figure it out!
oah ehm ghee: What prank would you suggest for a newbie?
A: A newbie? Just starting out? Ha-ha, I feel your excitement. Think about all those innocent people out there, just waiting for you to ruin their lives...
Maple syrup. It's the best weapon for a newbie. Why? It's sticky, it's slippery, and when you leave it on something long enough...boy, does it smell terrific! Put it on your victims' pillows, in their shoes, on their hairbrush...the possibilities are endless!
PenguinLoverGurl: Puck! I need help! It's the Godzilla of advice needing: BOY TROUBLE *Le GASP!*
Okay, so there are two boys in my class. When I first met them, they both seemed weird. Now I kinda like them. John, boy #1: I call him 'Ginger' due to his redheaded-ness. He's cute-ish, strange, but sweet. Also very awkward. NOTE: He was caught taking secret pictures of my BFF #1 on his phone. He said he kinda 'likes' me, but it's the same with my BFF #1.
Luke, boy #2: I call him 'Lucy' or 'Lucille' due to his gullible name. I also call him 'Blondie' due to his blonded-ness. He's in TAG with me & two others. I tease him quite a bit, but not in a bullying way. He's cute, sweet, occasionally humorous, and blushes like a ripe tomato. Kinda-ish 'likes' me.
Problem 1: BFF #2 is crushing on Luke. And if a try and take him...drama.
Problem 2: My BFFs don't like either of them (besides BFF #2) and they think they're weird. Don't get me wrong, I love my BFFs like sisters. They have the same reaction to both boys as I did, at first. And they're definitely my friends.
Problem 3: I'm not sure if this is going to grow, or if it's just a 'I-think-I-like-him-but-later-on-I'll-realize-I-don't' things I keep getting from this darned puberty virus.
Help? Please? I'll give you my lifetime supply of goo, hair dye, and slime! Granted I'm 18,379, (and 12,367 years older than you) that's quite a lot.
A: Let's get something clear. That whole love dilemma of yours made me gag and the only reason I'm going to help you is because of the goo, hair dye and slime. And I highly doubt you've lived 12,367 years more than me...although I'm too lazy to do the math.
Here's the thing: Even if you're nineteen like me, you still won't know if your feelings are going to grow or if they're just a result of that darned puberty virus. My advice? Forget about all this and don't make a big deal out of it. If you like one of them later on, then fine, you like them. But how sad would it be if you spent your time worrying over this (when you could have been putting spiders in people's clothes) and it turned out that you really don't like any of them that much? Very sad indeed.
Day Night: Well, I have a friend who's a guy. People think I like him because once you turn 11, you seem to love romance. But not me! How can I convince people we aren't together? We hit and punch each other, he almost broke my glasses, and we have conflicting morals and attitudes! The world is crazy!
A: The world is crazy! I feel your pain; for some strange reason everyone thinks me and Grimm like each other...and we don't! I make fun of her and prank her while she constantly tries to beat me up. (Not that she ever succeeds...just hurts me really badly)
I've tried everything to change their minds and so far nothing's changed. Who knows what goes on in their minds? All I can suggest is for you to ignore them. I know it's painful and you must feel like putting red peppers in all their food (Setting their tongues on fire is a great alternative; they're too busy drinking water to say anything!) but these people are incredibly stupid. I mean, they can't even see the truth right in front of them!
Alliegator: It is boy trouble, Puck take that smear off your face it's not you. There is a guy I like a lot. He is charming, funny, sweet, and amazing. He claims that he likes me, but always forgets and gives me last minute cancelations on things we plan. It started with him wanting to meet me and have a picnic, let's just say that I ended up waiting at a park for two hours until I finally gave up and went home. Then he asked me to homecoming. Two days before the dance he tells me that he can't because he had to go fishing. I find out a week after homecoming from a friend that he knew about this fishing trip before he asked me to go with him. There are a few more times that this behaviour has occurred because he either forgot about the event that we agreed upon or can't go. He has never actually gone through with his promises. We aren't in a relationship, but I find myself wanting to be in one with him. He claims that he likes me, but he wants to wait to date until he gets his driver's licence. Now my question is what should I do? Should I just forget about him? I've liked him for over a year and I'm just not sure if I should let this continue or if I should just give up. Now Puck I know that was a lot of words, but as a grown up you should be able to handle it. Please help me survive my own puberty virus, I wish that I could just skip this confusion.
A: I actually wasn't smirking...okay, I was, but that's beside the point! This guy that you like and who supposedly likes you is what I call a loser. Why? Because he's going to lose you. (This is where you laugh hysterically at my joke)
Plus, loser just happens to be one of my favorite insults. As I was saying, the dude's an idiot. If he doesn't care enough to remember you, then you should forget about him! If he really does like you, he'll change. If not...you're better off.
Zeana: my friend is going through a tough time, the guy she likes is with her ex (don't ask) and the girl is *certain phrases taken out* a horrible person, and my friend doesn't want the guy she liked to get hurt. I'm only a bystander and can't do much, so I'm asking for your thoughts, anything will help as long as it's LEGAL, got it Puck.
A: I wasn't going to suggest anything illegal...well, not that illegal... Oh, c'mon, what are a few years in jail? You could always escape!
Fine, I'll give you the boring advice.
Does this dude know the kind of person he's dealing with? Because if he does-sorry, man- he's dug his own grave and if this girl is as bad as you say, he'll realize it soon enough.
You could always try using a hammer to wake him up to reality...although that might put him in a coma-never mind!
You could confront that guy for your friend but all you can really do is warn him and say that he's better off with someone else. He might take it better from you than your friend.
Otherwise, there's not much-legal- stuff you can do. Chances are that if this person has a brain, he'll leave the girl himself.
SabrinaGrimmLover: Puck what do you do if people are saying you and your nemesis should date and you sort of like her but don't want to ruin your reputation of hating and tricking her?
A: I seem to be getting questions like this a lot. Any particular reason you're asking me? Because it doesn't relate to me at all!
Fine. Let's pretend I sort of liked Grimm (no need to pretend for the nemesis part) and I wanted to- to...be with her. Now, I have a formidable reputation (second to none) that you've probably all heard of already and there is no way I'll give that up for Grimm.
So-simply said- just don't stop hating and tricking her! Who says you have to give up who you are just so you can be with someone else?
Guest: What do you do when you have a crush on someone and they always prank you and say their better than you and you do it back?
A: Again with these questions...
Well, that would never happen to me because for one, I don't have a crush on anyone. And two, nobody is better than me at anything-much less pranking.
If you are the unfortunate soul that does fit that description, I have a solution.
Be like me. Granted, my amazing standard can never be fully achieved, but at the very least you won't be crushing on someone or being pranked (you'll be the one doing the pranking)!
Guest: How do you beat the Trickster King? What do you do if you smell like Puck?
A: First of all, you can never beat the Trickster King, it's just not possible.
Second of all, I am magnificent and like no other. And my smell is magnificent and like no other. If you do smell like me, be thankful. It's a blessing.
Trikster Queen: Can you give me some pranks, AND a way to get away with it? Because I have a brother and I am usually the suspect for things that go wrong in the house.
A: Ah, always the suspect for things going wrong in the house, huh? It's always like that for me...always.
Prank advice? Now that's what I'm talking about! This is actually a bearable question.
Make sure you have something sticky, super glue will work. Most people are uncreative and only put the substance on the bottom of the shoes. That's just stupid, because they can take the shoe off and the prank doesn't work! So put it inside the shoes...and try to smother you laughter when they try to get their socks off...and fail.
I'll give you one of my favorite tactics: pity. Normally, I hate pity, but not pity that's fake.
When they immediately point at you and demand you to stop, look angry. Make your eyes narrow and your mouth quiver. Then, stop and look tired with a hurt look on your face (don't lose all the anger though). Say in a barely suppressed voice, "Why do you always blame me? Sure I may have put larva in your hair and tomato juice in your bag, but that doesn't mean I'm the one responsible for everything. You always accuse me! And you know what? I'm sick of it! So you can just stand there all day for all I care. You deserve it for the way you treat me." Then storm out. They'll feel bad and welcome you back.
In the end, you get to laugh over a successful prank and be given special treatment because of it! It's hilarious!
(Just don't use it too many times or they get suspicious.)
What to do if you have a Zit
People always say that growing up get's easier, that the journey into adulthood can be tough, but everyone has to go through it and we'll survive.
People are stupid.
Growing up stinks, quite literally, and the only thing you get out of it are painful memories. So very painful...
I was having a pleasant dream: dancing chimps were throwing mud at Grimm who was hanging from the ceiling in a very dangerous way. Right below her was a swimming pool full of maple syrup, mucus, little bugs...what were they called again? Ah, yes, larva! They would look great in her hair.
I flew to her and smiled. "Well, Grimm? Have you agreed to the terms?"
"I'll never agree to serve you!" She glowered. "Now, let me down!"
I sighed. Always so difficult. "All right, but it was your own decision in the end." I began untying her bonds until the only thing keeping her from dropping were my arms.
I looked her in the eyes. "I don't have to do this, you know. Just say yes."
And do you know what that little twerp did to me? She spat at me! That really left me no choice, now did it? I dropped her.
She screamed at me as she plummeted towards the pool. "I'll get you back Puck! Just you wait!"
Even in a dream, Grimm didn't know when to give up.
I was feeling pretty good about myself, until a shrill noise filled my ears. It was deafeningly loud, going on and on...
My eyes flew open.
Sullivan was jumping up and down beside my trampoline, with an alarm clock in his hands.
"Sullivan!" I shrieked. "Turn that off this instant!"
He grinned at me and scrambled away when I reached for him. I sighed. It looked like things always had to be done the hard way.
I grabbed Kraven the Deceiver to use as a weapon and ran after Sullivan, coming to a screeching halt when he abruptly stopped.
The Old Lady stood in front of him, with a plate of cookies in her hands.
"Old Lady! Sullivan woke me up with the alarm clock! He disturbed my beauty sleep!" I told her, hoping Sullivan would get punished.
She smiled and handed him a cookie. "I know, Puck. I told him to, and you're going to get punished from now on if you don't wake up yourself."
I turned on my chimp with rage. "Traitor! How dare you let yourself be bribed by mere cookies? I'm your master!"
"Well, Master Puck, you best get ready for school or you'll be late." The Old Lady turned towards me, her eyes going to my face.
She gasped and her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, my..."
"What?" My hands going to my face. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, dear!" She regained her composure. "Why don't you use the bathroom downstairs and come to the kitchen for some cookies?"
I scratched my head, puzzled. The bathroom downstairs didn't have a shower or mirror. Something must seriously be wrong if the Old lady didn't want me to take a bath. She was always nagging me about that.
"Okay." I smiled angelically, waiting for her to leave.
As soon as she did, I rushed to the upstairs bathroom, looking for something, I don't know, out of the ordinary? The Old Lady must have had a reason for not wanting me to come here.
But there was nothing. Same old shampoo, same old soap, same old mirror-
I turned and caught sight of myself in the mirror. That's when I screamed.
It was a manly scream of course, but it was loud and continuous, much like my alarm clock.
A few minutes later, the door burst open and the Grimm family came pouring in.
"Who attacked you?" The Marshmallow held out her wand threateningly. "I'll bury them in custard!"
That comment sidetracked me for a few seconds as I pondered the idea, picturing Grimm drowning with custard in her mouth, pleading for my help...
But then I remembered to be miserable.
"My face was attacked, you dimwits! Can't you see?" I looked at myself in the mirror again. "On second thought, I bet it was a curse."
There, right smack in the middle of my forehead, was a huge-and I mean huge- thing. I didn't know what it was, except that it was big, pink and ugly.
Yeah, I know I'm pretty big what with my muscles being what they are, and sadly my wings are pink streaked, but I am not ugly! I'm beautiful!
So what the heck was that thing doing on my face?
"Ah."Henry nodded at me. "Looks like you've really got in to the whole puberty thing."
"Henry!" Veronica smacked his arm. "Oh, Puck, I'm afraid you've gotten a-"
"Zit." Uncle Jake finished for her. "I've dreaded this day."
Canis tried to hide a smile and Red-for some strange reason- giggled.
The Old Lady just shook her head; she'd known all long.
They all tried to persuade me to calm down, saying it wasn't a big deal; it was only temporary, blah blah blah. I screamed at them until they left me alone and only the Marshmallow and Grimm remained.
"It's okay, Puck." The Marshmallow hugged me. "You're still mucho hot-o!"
I pushed her away, even though I knew she was right.
Soon, it was only Grimm left, who hadn't yet uttered a word. I waited for her to say something sympathetic. Something like "Oh, Puck, you'll always be beautiful to me!" or "I'm here for you, I always will be!"
"You scream like a girl." She finally spoke.
I glared at her. "I scream like a man, you idiot. How else would this thing be sprouting out of my face?" I couldn't face myself to call it a zit.
Grimm rolled her eyes. "It's just a zit, Puck. It's a normal phase of puberty, everyone get's it."
But I wasn't listening. My mind had zoned out after the word puberty.
"Aha!" I pointed my finger at her accusingly. "You did this to me! You and your puberty disease!"
"Don't be ridiculous." She snapped at me. "You're just growing up, stupid."
I ignored her. My mind kept repeating the mental image of Grimm falling in the pool, "I'll get you back Puck! Just you wait!" ringing in my ears.
So this was her revenge? How petty.
"Don't lie to me." My voice shook with anger. "You told me in my dream you'd get revenge!"
She blinked. "You dream about me?"
I pushed her out before she could ask any more ridiculous questions and slammed the door shut.
I looked in the mirror again and groaned. My beautiful face, my poor, poor beautiful face...
Half an hour later, I clung to the kitchen table, refusing to budge.
"Puck, you can't just skip school because of this!" The Old Lady tried to pry my hands off the table.
Oh, yes I could! I was the Trickster King! I could do whatever I wanted!
I sprung out of my chair and used my wings to spiral upwards.
I didn't want to go to school because if I went with that monstrous thing on my face it would be the same as plastering a permanent tattoo on my forehead: GOING THROUGH PUBERTY.
I really didn't want puberty written all over my face; it was embarrassing enough that the rest of the family knew, but the whole school? Never! It would be a step towards acknowledging my changing life, a step towards growing up and admitting to the world that I was growing up.
Plus, it was downright ugly.
Don't get me wrong. I love ugly things, but when they're used against other people.
Such is the philosophy of the Trickster King.
Pretty good philosophy if I do say so myself.
"Daphne," Grimm turned towards her sister and winked. "You know what to do."
The Marshmallow squealed and ran out of the room while I stared wonderingly after her.
What in the name of Merlin's pants was that all about?
In less than three seconds the Marshmallow came running back, with a cowboy hat covering her eyes and a lasso in her hands.
She grinned and pushed the hat out of her eyes. "I've always wanted to practice on someone!"
Before I could demand to know what she was talking about, she swung the rope in the air and shrieked, "Hee-yah!"
For a nine year old she was surprisingly good at using a rope, but that didn't mean I was any less shocked when it around my head and down to my stomach.
She tightened it. I gasped, as the air was sucked from my stomach, stuttering, "What the heck are you doing? Let go already you little-"
"Sabrina!" The Marshmallow turned towards her sister, but Grimm was already there. Together, they pulled on the rope and started a tug of war. That was super unfair since they had more people; what a bunch of cheaters! Did they have no integrity whatsoever?
I was thinking of turning into a pterodactyl when they gave a final tug and I hurtled to the ground.
Advice # 5: Don't try to avoid going to school by either a) turning into a pterodactyl and flying away or b) duct taping yourself to your trampoline. It doesn't work.
"Walk faster!" Grimm gave me a shove. "We'll get detention if we're late!"
"Who cares?" I continued my sluggish pace, looking at the ground as I walked. I was imagining what it would be like to be a snail; really slow, but the slime was an advantage.
Grimm stepped in my way. We were walking on the sidewalk to get to school because I refused to fly Grimm there; if I had to go to school, I might as well take as long as I wanted.
"Man up." She glared at me.
I glared back; offended that she had even used that phrase. "What do you think is on my face?"
"It's a zit!" Her voice raised an octave. "Stop acting like it's the end of the world!"
"Easy for you to say, have you ever had your beautiful face attacked by a monstrous disease? Huh?" By now I was inches from her face and shouting at full force. It felt good taking my frustration out at her.
"Beautiful?" She didn't even flinch.
"I was talking about myself." I replied haughtily.
Maybe I was wrong or just hearing things, but I'm pretty sure she giggled. Yes, Sabina Grimm giggled. The world really was ending.
First she covered her mouth, tying to smother the noise and then she was laughing.
"Your face." She managed to say. "Hilarious."
And then I started laughing too, because she was laughing and the way she laughed was really funny.
After a minute, I stopped and tried to regain my breath. "Why are we laughing?" I asked her.
"I have no idea." She wiped her eyes. "All I know is that you started it."
"You started it!"
"You- oh, just shut up. We really are going to be late for school now."
School. Darn.
She must have noticed the expression on my face darken, because she stopped and said in a soft voice. "Puck, it's really not that big of a deal."
I tried to hide a smile; I knew she would eventually comfort me.
"I mean, your face was ugly before and it's ugly now. It's just uglier."
Understanding dawned upon me, "You're jealous, aren't you?"
"What?" She looked confused.
But I was on a roll, "You know that you'll never look as beautiful as me with a-a zit, so you want to make me feel bad!" I looked at her pityingly. "What a sad life you live."
"Oh, for goodness' sake!" She grabbed me by the arm. "I'm not jealous of you!"
"So you're hoping that I won't make fun of you when you get a zit? That's it, isn't it?"
She rolled her eyes. "Puck, I know better than to think you won't make fun of me."
"Good thinking." I nodded.
"You know what?" She sounded exasperated. "You can make fun of me all you want when I get a zit, I really don't care as long as you come to school! If we run we can still make it."
I narrowed my eyes. "Deal."
Advice # 6: It's always a smart choice to make fun of people, especially if they're offering. Never let golden opportunities like this go to waste.
Sometimes, I don't really get the point of school. What am I saying? I never get the point of school!
I mean, really, will knowing how to create a formula and solve an equation ever help me out in life? Am I ever going to have to chart slopes in a graph to prank someone?
Like I said, pointless!
"Hey, Robin." Someone tapped me on the shoulder.
I turned around glaring, my mood only worsening when I saw who it was. Some dude, named Harsh. No seriously, his name was Harsh, which I thought was pretty cool since he must be 'harsh'...get it? No? Whatever.
He was actually a cool guy once you got to know him; only he thought he was cooler than me. Can you believe him? Somebody seriously needed to whack him with a pan, cover him with snail slime, and wake him up to reality.
Which I did. But that's another story.
Anyways, he was staring at my forehead, or more specifically my...okay, I'll say it-zit!
"What are you looking at?" I folded my arms over my chest and gave him a threatening look, preparing to defend my reputation if needed.
"Man, that zit makes you look like a total-" He started to say, but I cut him off.
"Rudolph."
"What?"
"I said Rudolph. Remember when you had that huge, red zit on your nose? You looked like Rudolph."
Harsh frowned; the memory was obviously very painful to him.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"Oh." He scratched his head, as if he'd forgotten what he was going to say. "You have an extra ruler?"
"Why would I keep an extra ruler?"
He shrugged.
"To hit people with, you buffoon!" I rolled my eyes as I did just that. Harsh didn't seem to mind and took the ruler with grace.
And me? I was happy. Because I had finally found a weapon.
Advice # 7: If somebody tries to insult you because of your... zit, you can insult them right back. Chances are that if they're human and they're alive and growing, they've either had a zit or will have one in the near future.
Grimm was waiting for me by the entrance when school finished.
She eyed me cautiously, as if expecting an explosion. "Well...how was your day?"
I stared at her with mock astonishment. "Such politeness! Next thing I know you'll be saying good morning and good afternoon like a normal person would!"
"I am a normal person." She glared and with obvious sarcasm said, "Good afternoon, Puck."
"You forgot to say good afternoon to Bob."
She stopped walking. "Who's Bob?"
I leaned in closer and whispered, "It's the z-i-t. Don't say it out loud, he doesn't like the word."
"I can't believe it."Grimm stared at me in astonishment. "You know how to spell!"
"Ouch." I replied in mock horror. "You hurt Bob's feelings."
She shook her head at me. "I can't believe you named your zit. Who does that?"
"I am unique, Grimm." I smiled winningly. "And Bob and I had lots of fun today."
"Stop talking about Bob!"
"I knew you were jealous, Grimm."
She stared at me blankly.
"You wish you'd thought of naming your zit first!"
She continued walking, "I would never name my zits."
"Who knows?" I ran to catch up with her. "You might just name yours Bobby."
I was lying on my trampoline two weeks later, blissfully asleep, when I heard the scream.
To be honest, it wasn't really that loud of a scream. It probably wasn't even a shout.
But I could still hear it, partially because I hidden amplifiers in the washroom and connected it to everyone's rooms.
What could I say? I wanted to be there when Grimm had her first zit, so I could-uh- comfort her and help her...yeah, that.
Right.
I smiled all the way up to the washroom, ready to make someone's life a living hell.
When I opened the door, Grimm was looking in the mirror with a pained look on her face. She must really have thought she looked ugly, even though if I was honest, you almost couldn't notice the zit and she looked as...ugly as ever! Yup. That's what I was thinking. Not pretty or anything insane like that.
"Whoa!" I shouted. "We need to get an aerial view of this thing! It's humongous!"'
She glanced at me with a resigned sigh, simply saying, "Puck."
I smiled.
After all, a deal's a deal!
A/N~ Again, Puck was twelve in this one!
I know there are bound to be some mistakes in here and I'll edit it later, promise! I just couldn't go any longer without updating.
Anyways, hope you all are still with this story! Remember to-
Puck: They won't do it.
Me: Do what?
Puck: Review. After all that torture you put me trough, do you really think they'd be a s cruel as to review?
Me: Aww, is Pucky Wucky embarrassed?
Puck: No! Don't call me that!
Me: You are! It's okay. I'll bet these readers have been through a zit. And if they review...it means they're here to support you!
Puck: Well, when you put it that way...yeah...review guys! If you support me *sniff*
Me: Oh, man up!