Disclaimer: Stop mocking me.

Warnings: Possible OOCness, Kanda's fowl mouth

Remember to review people. Even simple 'I hate it.' Will work just fine.


Kanda ignored the glares and looks he was getting as he dragged his young – and very much unwanted – companion through the train station. He wished fervently that she would stop fussing. It wouldn't be so bad if she was quiet about it. But no and worse yet, the loud cries of protests kept getting louder and louder.

At first it she had simply refused to get up off her seat. He had countered by grabbing her arm in his iron grip and forcing her to stumble along after him. At first she had been rather compliant, following him with that sulk of hers.

But then she started trying to get loose. Just little tugs here and there. He had fixed that with a quick whack to the head.

The thing from hell had then started bawling, again. After several filthy looks from some mothers – and fathers as well – Kanda had just picked her up and tucked her under his arm in attempt to go faster.

Then she'd gone limp. It turned out, limp children where almost as hard to carry as lively children; absolute deadweight.

That led to his current method of dragging her around. He had simply dropped her to the ground, grabbed her collar. Now she was trying to pry off his hands. Like he cared, she was lucky he didn't just drag her by the hair.

At least, that's what he thought; until the very big lady hit him in the face with her purse. He released his grip to hold the side of his face. What the hell was in that purse? "What the fuck?" He yelled at her, pulling out Mugen.

It was too bad that her attention had already been averted to the kid who was sobbing into her skirts. She patted the kid's head. "Aww, are you okay kid?" She asked sweetly. The big blue eyes looked up and nodded tearfully. "What's your name?" She asked pulling her up to her ear. The child whispered something in her ear. "Claudette? That's a very pretty name." The child beamed at her. Apparently, the kid did speak English.

The stout woman glared at Kanda. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" She smacked him again with the purse, completely ignoring the sword. "Are you trying to kill her?" Claudette smirked behind the lady's skirts. No, Kanda thought, but I will be shortly.

Kanda: one

Claudette: two

"No, the brat wouldn't move," He spat through gritted teeth.

"So your solution was to choke her?" She hit him yet again with that damned purse. "You don't hold children like that. You have to be gentle with them!" She hit him twice more. Kanda tried spit out some threats at her but was too busy trying to fend off the purse. "Are you stupid? Don't you know how to take care of children?" She snarled.

Kanda made a mental note: Do not drag children in front of ladies with purses. He was beginning to think that it was almost as dangerous as fighting a level two Akuma. "Knock it off!" He roared at the lady. "If you can figure out a way to get her to move, be my guest!"

"You ask her idiot," She sneered at him. Kanda frowned, not really understanding. Weren't children supposed to just do what you want? Be seen and not heard. The lady rolled her eyes. "Children don't like to be ordered around."

They didn't? Kanda had always thought they were supposed to believe everything adults told them. "Now, ask her you twit."

Kanda glared at Claudette. He was going to kill her when they were alone. Slit her throat then bash her head in. That would teach her. "Come –," He looked over when the lady gave him an evil eye that rivaled his own. "Please," He was going to burn the little snot, "Hurry up and come with me."

Claudette hesitated, and then looked at the lady who gave her a smile and made a motion. Claudette nodded and held out her hand. Kanda let out a loud exasperated sigh. "Can't you do anything?" He snapped grabbing her and hauled her off swearing.

The lady sighed. It was an improvement.


Kanda plunked her in the boat before stepping in himself. He started to paddle up the river, glaring at her. She was rubbing her head where he had smacked her once he was out of the lady's sight. He had been very careful to make sure no ladies with huge purses were around.

The kid looked over the side of the boat. She smiled in delight at seeing her reflection. Apparently the blow to the head didn't last long enough.

She splashed the water. "Stop it." Kanda commanded. She looked at him slyly and made a big enough splash that it drenched the bottom of his coat. Kanda lost his temper. "Why you…." He hissed taking a step towards her.

Unfortunately, this rocked the boat.

Because the boat rocked, the kid who had been half out already, fell in.

Because she fell in, the boat rocked further.

That's when Kanda fell in.

"Shit!" He snarled falling head first into the water. He came up spluttering. The water wasn't particularly deep. His feet could still touch the bottom. His head whipped around for the small blond haired demon.

He spotted a disturbance in the water. He scowled and plunged an arm in and gripped a handful of cloth. He yanked up the spluttering girl named Claudette. She gagged and frantically moved towards Kanda. He che'd and looked for the boat as she scrambled, wrapping her arms around his neck in an effort not to drown. He gave another che, figuring that there really wasn't a way out of this one. She pressed her head into the crook of his neck.

His brows pulled together when he heard a muffled word. "Tch. Speak up." He snapped at her. He was in no mood to try and decipher whatever garbled nonsense she was spitting out.

"S…sorry…" The voice was shaking. The large blue eyes looked up at him, begging him to forgive her.

"Che, do it again and I'll kill you," He growled furiously. The head gave a quick nod. It was then Kanda wondered if he could train the thing from hell to behave how he wanted it to.

He looked around for the boat and realized that it had capsized. Cursing his luck, he realized that he would have to walk all the way back. Kanda almost groaned. Of course, he didn't, because he was Kanda. At least Lavi wasn't there to see what was going on.

"Yu," Speak of the devil and he shall appear, "I didn't know you liked kids!" Lavi teased. He and the Panda were apparently coming back from a mission too. Kanda turned his head giving Lavi a look of death. "Err…so you don't like kids then?" He asked. Kanda continued to glare at the redhead, willing him to disappear. "I just figured since you were letting her hang around your neck…."

"Aw, come on Yu!" Kanda reached for Mugen, fully intending to cut Lavi to ribbons.

"That's enough," Bookman said firmly. "The cold water isn't good for that child. Help get them into the boat Lavi." He instructed.

Kanda wasted no time in extracting the munchkin from his neck and awkwardly handling her to Lavi. Claudette reached for Kanda in vain, apparently having grown rather attached to him since he had saved her from drowning. "Don't worry," Lavi cooed as he pulled her into the boat, "We'll keep you safe from big bad Yu." He said, ruffling her hair.

Kanda climbed into the boat after them, though he did his best to look dignified as he did so. Not like the half drown cat he actually looked like.

"Yu! She's so cute! What's her name? How old is she?" Lavi asked rubbing the little girl's head like she was some sort of cat. She looked up at him a bit miffed, before apparently deciding it was okay. She leaned against Lavi looking for something warm to cuddle.

"Che," was Kanda's answer to the question, "Don't call me that." He growled.

"Yu, you don't even know what her name is!" Lavi said looking astonished. How did you go for an extended period of time without knowing someone's name?

The again, it was Kanda he was talking about.

"Stop calling me that," Kanda snapped. He was wet and extremely irritated. The last thing he wanted was to talk more about the source of his irritation. He crossed his arms and silently dared Lavi to ask him one more question.

Lavi looked down at the child who had made herself at home in his lap. "What's your name?" He asked her.

Claudette mumbled into his chest. Lavi grinned widely at her and patted her head. "Well, it's nice to meet you." He whispered in her ear, "Don't let Yu get you down. He's always crabby."

"Don't call me that!"

Claudette giggled. "Come on, let's get you to Komui." Lavi said.