A/N I was rewatching Failsafe...why does that episode have to be so depressing? Anywho, I just randomly started writing, and this came out. I plan to do one from every one of the team's perspective too.
Disclaimer *insert witty disclaimer here, cause I can't think of anything*
Dick squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the images. He tried so hard not to think about what had happened, but sometimes the nightmares came anyway. Outside, the full moon and twinkling stars gave the night a peaceful feeling, a stark contrast to the turmoil inside the thirteen year old boy, who was far older than his years. He had wanted to become leader, hadn't he? Didn't he want to be in charge? He just didn't know things would go so badly.
Every second was still clear in his mind, a vivid, lingering memory Dick wished he could just forget. But of course he couldn't. Just like he couldn't ever forget watching his parents fall. First it was the Justice League, completely wiped out, vaporized by the alien rays. At least then, though, he had subconsciously known that it was just training, that he would wake and see Batman again. Then Artemis died, and that knowledge, that reassurance, disappeared. Suddenly, things had become all too real.
Miss Martian's heart wrenching cry as she screamed out Artemis's name, refusing to accept that it was too late for the blonde archer to ever hear her name again. And Kid Flash, Wally, Dick's best friend…the expression of unbearable hurt, quickly replaced by anger, the overwhelming thirst for revenge, for justice…Dick understood it far too well. It was like watching them fall all over again.
Then Aqualad was gone, and Dick had become leader. He had become another side of Robin, another side that viewed everyone as pieces in some twisted game rather than his friends, his family. That meant he had sent Superboy in to be slaughtered. M'gann had caught on and knew he would die, but Superboy went anyway. Then he was gone, and it was Robin's fault completely. "I know I did what I had to…" the words echoed in Dick's mind as he remembered, "but I hated it." But was that really necessary? Maybe. But that didn't make the guilt any better.
And then they had a plan. Robin knew it was too good to be true, but seeing the hope on Wally's face, he couldn't bring himself to say it. Robin also knew that he wouldn't make it out of the mother ship. I'll die a hero, he had thought, strangely comforted by that knowledge. He had hoped that Wally and M'gann would make it out though. But as more enemies rounded the corner, Robin had to make a choice. His friends had once again become pawns. Miss Martian was saved, but then it was Robin and his best friend. They weren't going to make it. Kid Flash recognized this; Robin could tell from the sad, determined look in his green eyes. A look no one should ever have to have. They had only seconds left.
Robin pulled of his mask. He wanted to die as himself, seeing at least Wally as his friend for the last time. Wally pulled his own cowl off. Secret identities didn't matter anymore. "I'm sorry," Dick had muttered, light blue eyes filled with guilt. The redhead embraced his friend, enemies forgotten. None of it mattered anymore. "There's nothing to be sorry for," he whispered back. The two inseparable friends were still hugging as the world exploded around them.
Even as the flames engulfed him, tore his body apart, Dick kept hold of Wally. He didn't want to be alone. He felt oddly at peace; it was over now, for them, anyway. At least Dick would die close to someone he loved.
The guilt still haunted him. He couldn't ever deal with turning it off again. He couldn't do what Batman did so easily. "I don't want to be THE Batman anymore." He couldn't let his friends become pawns ever again.
He couldn't let anyone else fall.
A/N I'm thinking of doing a certain redheaded speedster next...please tell me what you think! Reviews are greatly appreciated.