This chapter is short, I know. I just had the idea and had to write about it! I hope you all like it. Please leave a review to let me know what you think.
I took in my surroundings; everything was so… so beautiful. So romantic, it made me want to cry. I felt my eyes beginning to water and used every ounce of willpower I had to stop the tears from rolling down my face. I couldn't believe I was here, after months upon months of dreading this moment, it was here, and it hurt. I hurt like nothing I have ever felt before. I thought the lead up had been painful, like millions of knives cutting deep scars into my heart, but this, my world shattered as I look up to the altar to see the man I loved. The man who used to love me, in his fine Italian suit, preparing himself for the same thing I was. For that moment when Summer would walk through those doors, in a beautiful white dress, smiling at the man she was about to marry, the same man that I loved. He would gaze into her eyes, and promise his love for her, that she would be the only women he loves. I couldn't take it anymore.
"Oh my god! Do you know what this means? You and I are going to have so much fun!" Lily's eyes were widening as she spoke to me. "We have got to go dress shopping, and-and shoes, ooh wouldn't it be so lovely if all three of us, you know you, me, and Summer, got our nails done before the wedding. I mean I suppose the other brides maids could come along too. Ah! This is SO exciting!"
" Um, yea. That sounds fun." Oh god, why did she have to be so excited, the last thing I wanted to talk about on my girl's night with Lily was Barney's wedding. The one topic that I've been avoiding in general, and she had to bring it up. "Look, Lily, I'm just, I'm not sure if I am going to go. There's just a lot going on right now, with work, and you know, stuff."
Lily's face turned sad, "b-but you have to go. I mean Barney's one of our best friends, and-and shopping. Why wouldn't you want to go?"
Why did I say that? Why did I say that? Ugh, I should have just changed the subject. Ok, it's not too late. Quick, think of something! "Umm, so how are things going with your job?"
"Robin, you've never asked me about my job before. And hey, I don't blame you. But, you still haven't answered my question!" Dammit, this was useless, nothing gets past Lily, she sees right though me. "Fine. You wanna know why I don't wanna go to Barney's wedding? I'll tell you. But you cannot under any circumstances tell Marshall, or Ted and especially Barney."
"My lips are zipped. Now tell me, tell me, TELL ME!" she hiccupped in the way she always does when she wants to know something, really, really bad.
"I'm," I sighed, this was harder than I thought, "I'm still in love with Barney."
That night, I got home, grabbed a bottle of scotch, placing it on the bedside table in my room, and snuggled underneath the covers. It was like the night when Barney had told us all the "good news", I didn't want to deal with Barney, or his perfect soon-to-be wife, Summer, or the fact that I hated myself for letting it come to this. I hated the fact that I lost him, and now I hated the fact that he was moving on, and I hated the fact that I will probably never be with him again. It was over, and he was proving it. I always thought Summer was just rebound, that Barney was using her to get over me, that it never meant anything, that in the end we'd get back together. Why did I have to be such an idiot. I grabbed the bottle of scotch, taking a swig. There, that should help. I stopped trying to be strong and let the tears flow, and before long my face was covered in them. I didn't wipe them away, I didn't try to stop them. I let them run down my face and neck, and before long the bottle was empty.
I woke up the next morning with my mascara smudged in almost every part of my face. Despite, having slept, my eyes still looked tired. When I went to the kitchen to pour a glass of water I heard my phone ringing from my bedroom. "Hello?" I answered tiredly.
"Hey Robin, you home?" It was Barney, and although his voice was masked with a false sense of confidence, he sounded like something was wrong.
"Yea, is everything ok?"
"I'm fine. Do you mind if I come over for a bit? I just want to talk." That was weird. Barney never asked permission to come over, he just did. And talking? I missed the old Barney, the Barney who always made me smile and laugh and was so confident and without worry. The Barney who made dirty jokes whenever the group was at the bar and was so strongly against marriage. The Barney who never would have gotten married, unless I was the bride.
"Yea, sure, I'll see you in a bit then."