The young man's brow arced upwards in confusion. He looked down at the statue in his hand. "Dude, this girl's weird as all heck," he said to it.
"Yes, PewDie, I know. At least she's braver than you," it replied, almost snickering.
"Hey! She is not!" replied PewDie angrily.
"Considering the fact that while you ran around screaming when Martin dropped out of the ceiling, she just stood there."
"So? He tried to-wait, are you laughing?" PewDie cut himself off, looking at the back of the russet, long-haired head in front of him.
"Yeah. You two are funny!" replied the young girl in front of him. She was about fourteen, tall for her age, and skinny like a twig. PewDie was too, so he was a good foot or two taller than her.
"We try," stated Stephano. The girl smiled again, the lantern illuminating her gentler, calmer features. She turned back around, and picked up a key on the floor.
"BRO!" screamed PewDie, grabbing the girl's wrist and yanking her along as he fled in almost a headlong sprint.
"Ow!" she yelped, almost dropping both key and lantern. She had no choice but to leap along behind him, and then shut a closet door.
"Oh yeah, me and Stephano never got your name…" said PewDie, panting while holding Stephano.
"PEWDIE! GET ME AWAY FROM YOUR ARMPIT! JESUS CHRIST IT STINKS!" yelled the statue. PewDie obliged, setting him on his shoulder.
"Most people know me as Writer or Copper," she replied.
"Copper it is!" said PewDie with a goofy grin.
"PewDie, stop wasting your lantern, PewDie! Spin the wheel, PewDie! Open all the drawers and closets, PewDie!" said the Bro, lumbering around. PewDie groaned, looking irritated.
"God, I hate Bros… they can be so annoying sometimes…" he muttered.
"I know, right?" replied Copper. "Glad I don't have any."
"You know, I've never seen you on YouTube… well, you commented on my videos once or twice, but I never read the comments," said PewDie, trying to block out the leaving Bro.
"I'm a newer member, and not a well-known one. I watch most of your videos with a poker face. The rest of the time I'm laughing," she replied.
"Jesus Christ, she's good… even I was scared watching PewDie's videos…" muttered Stephano. The statue peeked out of the crack in the closet. "It's safe, Copper, PewDie."
"Hey! I'm pumped, I'm so freaking pumped!" cheered a voice from another room.
"Piggeh!" yelled PewDie, running out of the closet and towards the dead pig. Stephano fell from his shoulder, and would've hit the ground if not for Copper's fast catch.
"Jesus Christ, PewDie! Thank you, Copper… follow that idiot, before he gets himself killed!" ordered the statue.
"You read my mind…" replied the girl, holding Stephano as she padded after PewDie.
"Hey, PewDie! I'm pumped! Ooh, is that a lady with you?" said the corpse pig, sliding across the floor to Copper, who stepped back, holding Stephano tighter. "Hey, sweetie, it's okay… you're too young for PewDie, but not too young for me…" it said, rising up on its stubby hind legs and moving forwards.
"Stephano…" trilled Copper, backing up again. She knocked over a painting on the wall, revealing a potion and a note. She pushed the pig back some, and read the note. She then took the potion, and dripped it onto Stephano.
"JESUS CHRIST, COPPER! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" screamed the statue, wishing he could squirm.
"This is supposed to make you come to life…" she said, putting the statue on the floor and stepping back. PewDie watched, amazed, as the little gold statue glowed, and moved. It stood up, and grew taller and taller, till it was just a few inches taller than PewDie. He was still solid gold, but alive.
"I am Stephano!" he yelled, holding his sword up, which had also grew with him.
"Help!" cried Copper, who had been tackled by the overexcited Piggeh. The pig was trying to pull off a few 'moves'. Stephano disapproved of that. The statue tossed the pig, letting him land in a barrel of acid.
"NO! YOU KILLED PIGGEH!" yelled PewDie. The statue man picked up Copper with one arm, grinning at his new strength.
"Jesus Christ, this is amazing," muttered Stephano, letting Copper down. "Now I can easily go through those doors… and I can walk… I'm the best statue ever!"
"Yes, you are… I can hear a brute coming, can we go?" said Copper, looking a bit scared. Brutes and Suitors were her weakness. She could take barrels, Bros, and jump scares easily. Brutes, not so easily. Suitors, just barely. Stephano nodded, and, holding his sword, exited the room with PewDie and Copper.
And so began the greatest, most daring, and craziest story of Amnesia ever told.