So, now that When A Brother Is Not Enough is finished and I still need to figure out what I want with the sequel, I got a new idea. The summary is really bad, BUT I can tell you that there will be a lot of hurt/love/comfort/betrayal/more love, etc…And there will be a little bit of every pairing in here, but how it ends is a secret :) It'll be like a game for me…You guys will guess who will come out on top and I'll never tell, but I'd love to hear guesses :)
So, at the urging of my Twin, Kendalls Logiebear, who insists that it isn't as terrible as I think it is, here is what I have so far. Let me know if you love it/hate it/want me to continue.
Logan had his little brunette head inched ever so carefully, yet ever so curiously, out the window of his bedroom on the second floor of his cozy little home.
His room may have been nice and cozy and reminiscent of the climate of a tropical paradise compared to the below-20 degree breeze that danced outdoors through the crimson, citrus, golden treetops, but he didn't care in that moment if he caught a chill. He could care less if a returning Jack Frost injected him with the deadliest flu he's ever had.
"WHY AREN'T THOSE DISHES DONE, KENDALL FRANCIS KNIGHT?"
The harsh, purely bitter bass tone raced out the first-floor window next door to Logan's ears, pricked with interest and concern as they seemed to be every night. It caught the tailcoats of the breeze, chilling 8-year-old little Logan much more than the weather ever could.
This became routine for Logan – listening, watching, helpless to what was happening to said "Kendall Francis Knight."
The shadow of the little blond-headed boy flickered with a fading light. Logan knew that boy – he'd seen him countless times at school. He'd seen him countless times taking a bag of garbage three times bigger than him outside. He'd know that shaggy dark blond head anywhere.
But he couldn't tell you what color the boy's eyes were, or go into intense detail about every feature on that little boy's face.
Because that boy always had his head down, staring at the ground or off in a distance. Off somewhere far away, probably wherever his mind happened to be.
All Logan could tell you about that mysterious boy was his hair color. A dark blond that made Logan think of golden finches outside when the sun started to go down.
That he always wore long sleeves, whether those long sleeves took the form a plaid shirt, or sometimes a hoodie.
That he was a loner, always off by himself daydreaming or sleeping under that old oak tree during playtime.
And Logan knew his name was Kendall Francis Knight.
But not because he'd ever talked to him.
Because he heard a harsh, gravelly voice shouting it every night from his spot with his head peeking out of his bedroom window.
He never heard Kendall speak. He never heard Kendall yell back.
But he knew that Kendall could speak, because Miss Alyce always kept Kendall when everyone else had already grabbed their backpacks and coats and lunchboxes, and even though Logan could never quite hear words, he had occasionally looked back to see that Kendall's mouth was indeed forming some words. And Miss Alyce seemed to understand him. So he had to have a voice.
Logan bet that Kendall's voice was like music.
Logan knew it was getting later, but he heard faint sobbing coming from that first-floor window next door and saw a bigger shadow overpowering the tinier one. And it always turned out that before Logan closed his window at night, he found himself chorusing those faint sobs with the boy that he'd never spoken to.
Logan vowed to himself every night after closing that window that he would talk to Kendall the next day. That he would ask him to play with him and Carlos and James so he didn't look so lonely.
And mostly, he wanted to hear something from the boy other than sobs and faint cries of protest.
But Logan had always been shy when it came to approaching new people, and Kendall always looked content to just daydream or sleep under that big old oak tree.
This time, however, instead of closing the window and slowly heading to his racecar bed, Logan curled up in his red beanbag chair beneath the still-open window with his favorite green blankie that he'd had ever since he could remember and whispered to himself when the screaming stopped and the faint crying continued, "Tomorrow, I'm gonna talk to Kindle. And he's gonna be my best friend. Forevers and evers. I don't want him to cry anymore."
"Logan, honey, breakfast is ready," Logan's mom called up the stairs the next morning.
"Coming, Mommy!" he called back as he untangled himself from his favorite blankie and went to close the window.
But this time, he hesitated, his little arms still raised to push the window down.
He looked down toward that window where he'd heard such scary voices and really sad whimpers.
And looking up at him was that mysterious little blond boy named Kendall.
He felt like he was looking at this boy for the first time – like he'd never seen him before even though he'd seen him countless times.
All he could focus on were the little boy's eyes – bright and unnatural green. Like that necklace that his Mommy wore with her pretty dresses.
The two boys remained in captivated eye lock for awhile before Logan heard his door opening.
"Logan, what's out the window, baby?" his mom asked making her way over to him.
It was almost as if the little blond-haired boy knew someone else was intruding on whatever type of moment he and his neighbor were having because he quickly ran away from the window.
Logan wanted to reach out to him, tell him to wait, yell his name – something. But his Mommy was already right beside him.
"I don't see anything out there, Logie," his mom whispered before hugging him and kissing him lightly on the forehead.
Logan rolled his eyes as he looked up into his mommy's pretty brown eyes. He hated being called Logie. It made him feel like he was 5 again.
But looking into his mommy's eyes, he used to think they were the prettiest eyes in the world.
But that's because he'd never seen Kendall's.
And he decided that those eyes were prettier than even his mommy's.
"Time to eat breakfast and get ready for school, baby," his mom said with a chuckle at his eye roll and that big smile of hers.
Logan couldn't help but smile back despite his mild annoyance at the nickname "Logie."
But his mind was still thinking about that boy.
I have to talk to him today, Logan thought to himself as he let his mommy aid him in the daily motions before school.
Today is the day…
It was playtime.
Logan was wringing his hands together nervously while he swung back and forth slowly on the swings, eyes glued to his little blond next door neighbor, knowing that he vowed to talk to Kendall today, but too nervous to actually get off his favorite swing and go over to him.
And Kendall just looked so peaceful, his pretty eyes watching the kids play and have the time of their lives around him as he sat with his little knees pulled to his little chest under that same tree he always sat under.
But he also looked sad – like he would burst out into tears at any moment.
And as much as it broke Logan's heart to see those pretty eyes cloud over with sadness, he still couldn't will himself get off his bum and make the first move and ask the sad little boy to play with him.
Instead, Logan watched intently as Kendall nestled himself in a little cocoon – as if he were going to go to sleep now – wrapping his old winter coat around his body for both warmth and almost safety.
"Loganator!" a voice called from behind him. A voice that belonged to none other than one of Logan's best friends, Carlos Garcia.
Logan tore his eyes – however hesitantly – away from a curled-up Kendall to turn to look at his little Latino friend racing to him with their tall, pretty brunette friend James Diamond not far behind.
"Whatcha looking at, Logan?" an always confident 7-year-old James asked when he finally caught his breath from chasing the 8-year-old little Latino, Carlos, and finally reached Logan.
"That little boy is always by himself," Logan began, turning slowly to redirect his attention back to little Kendall all curled up comfortably, clinging to his threadbare winter jacket.
"You mean Kendall?" Carlos and James asked in unison.
How do you two know his name? Logan thought to himself, but instead of asking that, he shrugged it off and merely continued as his two friends looked at each other with confused eyes, breaking the awkward moment.
"I thought about asking him to play with us today. I thought maybe he wouldn't have such a frowny face all the time if he had some friends to play with."
As much as Logan wanted to tell his two best friends about the scary deep voice and the scary sounds he heard out his window every night, and as much as he wanted to tell them about little Kendall crying and the tiny cries of protest, he told himself that since apparently Kendall's name was no longer a secret, this would be. A secret that he and Kendall shared, whether Kendall knew they shared it or not.
And Logan always kept secrets.
"Jamie, you should go ask him to play with us!" Carlos exclaimed, jumping up and down around James, making Logan giggle quietly to himself.
Logan always had to remind himself that he and Carlos were practically the same age, a year older than James, and that Carlos was actually a little older than he was, because Carlos was so childish sometimes that he forgot that James was the youngest of the three and not Carlos. But that's one of the things Logan had always loved about Carlos.
"But Lo-gain here was gonna do that," James answered, sending an encouraging look Logan's way.
For a 7-year-old, James acted more like a big kid than even Logan did. And Logan liked to think of himself as acting older than his age. James was no doubtedly the leader of the three boys. But that's one of the things Logan had always loved about James.
"But – but I'm nervous. And he looks like he's asleep – I don't wanna wake him up. He might get mad at me."
James and Carlos sighed heavily.
And as much as James wanted to take that hand he rested on Logan's shoulder and push him in the little blond boy's direction, he knew that Logan had a hard time talking to new people. After all, a little 5-year-old James approached Logan for the first time with his hyper 6-year-old little Latino best friend not even two steps behind him – his shadow he liked to think to himself. And then Logan never played alone again.
And even though Logan vowed to himself last night – and every night – that he would go talk to Kendall, he couldn't bring himself to do it.
And when James noticed that the little blond boy's body was trembling and shaking with what could only be crying, James was tired of waiting for his shy, brilliant brunette friend to be a big boy and talk to someone new. Especially when that someone new seemed to so desperately need it now – not whenever Logan decided he could do it.
"Alright guys, I'll be back," James said as he started toward the little blond boy. Kendall. He knows his name even if he's never talked to him before – even if he'd been in their class ever since James was 5.
But just because James never talked to Kendall, that didn't mean that he never noticed Kendall before. Because he has.
He definitely has.
But even confident little James hoped that maybe one day, Kendall would stop just watching him with those pretty green eyes of his and actually let him study those eyes more while they talked.
But Kendall must be like Logan in that way – no matter how much he needs a friend, he's too shy to make the first move.
Logan watched as James sauntered slowly over to curled-up Kendall. He couldn't help but feel a little angry at himself for not doing what James is doing right now after he'd told himself so many times that he would.
And he couldn't help but feel a little – jealous maybe? Because James would be the first person Kendall talked to.
And Logan wanted to be that first person.
He briefly shook off his anger and possible jealousy, hoping instead that if James could reach out to Kendall, then Kendall would still become his best friend.
If James doesn't keep him all to himself.
And with that thought, Logan got angry again. Logan knew that James didn't like to share. He didn't even like to share Carlos. Although, now that Logan thought about it, he didn't like to share James with Carlos or Carlos with James either. But he did. Because the three needed each other in their lives. And that was almost a mutual understanding.
As soon as Logan saw James stop at Kendall's feet, that anger and those thoughts were replaced with fear.
Fear that not even his overconfident 7-year-old friend could reach Kendall.
Fear that if his overconfident friend could NOT reach Kendall, that he would never get the chance to talk to him.
You better not scare him away, Jamie… Logan thought to himself with clenched teeth when he saw James move to sit down at Kendall's feet. But Logan didn't know why he was so angry…
Although, when he looked over at Carlos, the usually happy Latino didn't look happy either.
I wonder what he's thinking… Logan thought to himself.
But then he turned his attention back to James and Kendall.
"Um, hi," James started, all of a sudden feeling super nervous to talk to Kendall. And that scared James. Because James David Diamond doesn't EVER get nervous.
But with Kendall, he was.
James sat crisscross applesauce at little Kendall's feet.
There was a brief silence, filled with nothing but the sounds of Kendall sobbing quietly to himself.
It broke James's heart to hear such sadness from the little angelic boy.
Kendall only hesitated to answer because he couldn't believe that someone was talking to him. He wasn't anything special.
For a brief moment, he thought that maybe it was that pretty brunette boy Logan Mitchell with those pretty chocolate eyes that lived next door.
And when he shifted his glance to the source of the soft, musical voice, it was a pretty brunette boy.
But this pretty brunette boy had light yellowish brown eyes. Eyes that reminded him of a cat.
And this boy wasn't Logan Mitchell.
It was James Diamond.
I can't believe James Diamond is actually talking to me.
"Um, I'm James. James Diamond," James continued ever so nervously complete with a nervous little smile when those pretty green eyes met his.
To be honest, James was surprised he could still remember how to speak because of the near staring contest that was bound to start. Because he couldn't tear his eyes away from yellowish, greenish, beautiful eyes. He'd never seen eyes like that this close up.
And it didn't look like those eyes could break free of his own intense stare.
I know who you are… Kendall thought to himself. But he would never say that.
"I'm, uh - I'm K-Kendall. Kendall Knight."
I know who you are… James thought to himself when Kendall finally spoke. But it's a good thing that his brain wasn't allowing him to speak at that moment.
And it's a good thing he knew Kendall's name ahead of time.
Because at the sound of Kendall's smooth, music box voice that he was hearing for the first time, he couldn't understand what words that little pink mouth was forming.
Little Kendall was in a full sitting position by this time, wiping his eyes so that James Diamond didn't see him crying.
He'd probably think I was a girl if I cried in front of him… Kendall thought to himself.
James cleared his throat. He was so scared to be talking to this pretty little boy, and he had no idea why. He'd never been scared to talk to another little boy before.
"Do you wanna come meet my friends?" James asked hesitantly.
Hesitantly because he still couldn't believe he was talking to Kendall Knight. That Kendall Knight was talking to him.
Hesitantly because James never liked sharing…And even if he was only talking to Kendall for the first time, he really didn't think he would like sharing Kendall. He didn't even like sharing Carlos with Logan or Logan with Carlos. And this was Kendall…
But he didn't have a choice. He could feel the eyes of his two friends digging into his back, still standing back at the swings. He knew they wanted to talk to Kendall too.
Even if he didn't want them to.
And then he got mad at himself for thinking like that. Carlos and Logan are his friends, and Kendall is his new friend, and they should all be friends.
That's just how the friend code worked.
And James's mommy always told him that it was nice to share, no matter how much he hated it.
And he couldn't tell his mommy no.
"Um, oh-okay," Kendall answered with a blush.
Kendall couldn't believe he was blushing right now.
His daddy always told him that blushing was for little girls and he was not a little girl.
But he didn't want to think of his daddy right now. His daddy was scary.
And James was really nice. Even if he was only talking to James for the first time, he told himself to trust James.
But he was really scared that he trusted James so quickly.
He wasn't supposed to trust anyone.
But he really wanted to meet that cute little boy with pretty eyes, Logan.
And he really wanted to meet the adorable little Latino that Logan and James were friends with, Carlos.
And he really wanted to follow James wherever James wanted to lead him.
So when he saw James's long legs unfolding and stretching as he stood up, and when he saw James reaching out a mitten covered hand to help him up, Kendall gladly took it and stood up with James.
And he blushed again when James didn't let go of his hand while leading him to Logan and Carlos.
And that made Kendall think again of his daddy and what his daddy would do if he saw him blushing.
But when he saw a wide smile spread across that cute little Logan Mitchell's face, and when he saw that adorable little Latino Carlos Garcia start to jump up and down, he forgot about the bruises on his arms and legs that his daddy would have given him if he saw him blushing.
All he could think about was the feel of James's hand, a little bigger than his own, still clinging to his own.
All he could think about was that bright, beautiful smile that Logan was wearing that he almost wished he could have instead of his nightlight.
All he could think about was how happy Carlos looked at the sight of James leading him over to the swings where Carlos and Logan stood.
And Kendall thought to himself, I really like these boys already.
So that was a terrible ending to what I have so far (which I still think is all terrible) – but feedback is much appreciated. Please let me know what you think and if you love it/hate it/want me to continue it/wish I'd never started it.
I love you guys :)