I was walking through the streets, completely alone. But still I felt a presence I shouldn't...
It was warm, it was gentle, it was caring.
But I didn't deserve all those...

I absentmindedly wandered the streets of Inazuma Town, through the heart of the shopping district. People bustling along minding their own business, chatting, screaming, gossiping or bargaining with the shopkeepers.
My eyes suddenly fell on a small boy with pink hair chasing happily after a soccer ball... And my heart clenched at the sight, a painful lump rose in my throat.

But it wasn't the boy's fault... Not even close...

It was I and I alone who was to blame for my pain. I am the one who has burdened myself with such grief and guilt...
I alone am to blame for burdening myself with such a crime that is crushing me from the inside...

And still I walked, seemingly aimlessly to the people around me, through the crowded streets, and through the cool mist of Autumn.

I can hardly suppress a shudder at the touch of the cool breeze of the late Autumn... I was like he was caressing my cheek lovingly again...
Only now, the touch was icy cold... Maybe because, his body was now icy cold, not warm like when he held me in his arms...

I remember it all clearly, so clearly that it was almost painful...

The way he smiled at me, the way his eyes shone every time he said "I love you", his hands holding mine...
And most of all, how he would whisper in my ear, "I'm yours..."

And that's what pains me most...
He was mine... But I wasn't ever truly his...
When I realized that, it was all too late...

I still walked alone, through the thinning crowd, anticipation arising with each step...
Why wouldn't it? I am responsible for forgetting him so easily, for running away from the unintentional pain he had caused me.
How could I even think of abandoning him? I befouled his memory, betrayed him when I should have held on to him with all I had...

But still here I am, walking in solitude, through a crowd of people, silent and stagnant for eternity, as I made my way to you...
Am I that ungrateful? I still shamelessly come to face you every month...
The only sign of shame from me is my silence, devoid of any tears... After all, I had lost my right to mourn for you when I scurried to your best friend for comfort.
You were still breathing, you still had a spark of life in you! But we abandoned you... We deemed you dead before your life had truly ended.

Yes, we killed you... Myself, Hanaraki Akara and my present Husband, Shindou Takuto Killed Kirino Ranmaru...

I don't care that my past came to haunt me when you fell victim to that car crash, I won't even defend myself by saying that I was utterly broken...
And I won't defend Takuto-kun by saying that his "love" was nothing but pity for the girl he had a crush on who was now suffering...

As I knelt in front of your grave, my thoughts denied again the false comforts people provided...

"You weren't betraying him, he had a very low chance of survival." was what all of them said.

I refuse to believe it. Because I was present when you were supposedly nearing death. I was sitting beside your bed, Takuto-kun holding my hand comfortingly...
I wasn't even ashamed then...

And for a fraction of a second, you opened your eyes and looked at me, a small smile formed on your face framed with white bandaging...
And they closed...
Your heart started a drop beat...

"He's sinking!" The nurse shrieked, the doctors came rushing.

And in the disarray, I noticed your lips quiver and mouth for the last time, "I love you..."

As I was pushed out of the room with Takuto-kun, your body went limp...

Now... My only apology remains these silent meetings with you...

As I contemplated all this for what seemed a million times, I had an urge to scream and lament, to tell the world that I, to this day, mourn for the one called Kirino Ranmaru, one of the people who loved me unconditionally till his death (and most probably, after it as well.)...

As the tears threatened to fall from my eyes, I felt it...
The gentle touch that I cherish, a warm hand on my shoulder.

I quickly straightened up and turned around, only to be held in that same loving embrace...

I looked up to see those familiar soft brown eyes. They were also brimming with suppressed tears.

I silently buried my face into his shoulder, his hair slightly tickling me.

I wondered as he whispered to me incoherent things, his hand stroking my hair...

"Who do I really love?"

Will I ever get my answer?

Will I ever be free from this gaping pain in my heart that is eating me alive? I don't know and I probably never will as I don't even know who I love...

Shindou Takuto or Kirino Ranmaru?


This is for SapphireSpade!

Im gonna be honest here and say that credit for this one shot goes to Dreamer kun who happens to be the best buddy on FFN along with Elle and Reaper! Mamera too though I haven't heard from her for a while.

Im no longer accepting any requests so please do not go pressuring me to write you a oneshot especially for IE Go since I haven't really watched the entire series.

Anyone here a Percy Jackson fan?

Review please!

Love...

Angel