Waiting

Well this is the first story that I've written in over a year, but I listened to this song and just had to write something using it. Unfortunately, much as I would like it to be, it isn't a happy story, but at least it's something right? I really hope that you enjoy it, the song used is Waiting by Scott Grimes.


She wasn't in your life all that long; in the grand scheme of things a year out of thirty odd is pretty insignificant. It took less than half of that time for you to fall head over heels in love with her, though it took a while longer for you to actually become aware of it, even more so to admit it to her. She was only in your life for a year, however much you wish it had been longer, wish it had been forever and now that she's gone you feel that you are staring a very lonely life in the face, since you can't imagine loving anyone else the way you love her.

There is too much to remember

There is too much to forget

There are times of hallowed beauty

There are days full of regret

But I'll be waiting at the doorway

When this life of ours is through

And I'll find you, to remind you

That I've always been in love with you

You have so many memories from the last year; some that you will always cherish and would be devastated if you lost them, others that you wish you could just forget. You loved so many moments of the time you spent together; she was your best friend, completely unaware of your desire to be more. The two of you had a relationship where you could cheer each other up if you were feeling down, keep the atmosphere of what was a highly stressful workplace as light as possible and you were there for each other if required. You took hits for her and she took them for you. You'd never been so close to someone that you worked with before, but there was something special about her that you found, increasingly, that you just couldn't live without. You have favourite times that you'd spent with her; you loved the kisses that had been stolen, the laughter that had been shared, the simple moments shared in the staff room or outside, just the two of you together. Of course it wasn't all sunshine and roses; you'd had your disagreements, much like any other friends would. You'd shouted, she'd shouted, insults had been thrown and you'd offended each other more than a few times; you regretted causing her pain more than anything, but once an argument was over, it was done with and it generally wasn't brought up again. The biggest memory that you just wish you could forget was her not returning your love when you finally confessed it to her, then just leaving with her husband, leaving you behind to attempt to continue on your own. Now that you didn't see her every day, you find that you miss the easy banter that you shared and, more importantly, you miss her.

Will you find me in the evening

Where the lights are growing dim

It is only an illusion cause I know that you're with him

And I see you from a distance

And I know the tears are gonna fall

So I call out just a little

But I don't think I got any look at all

You think that you see her sometimes, when you're walking the streets alone on evenings when you've finished the day shift at work, not that you work in the same place anymore; you couldn't stand to be there without her so have now moved on to a different hospital. Of course, logically, you know that it can't be her, she moved to Nottingham with her husband, while you're still hanging out in the South, trying to find your way without her. But you're so sure that it's her you see and knowing that you can't have her, no matter how much you want her, makes the tears well up in your eyes and fall down your face. You look a mess and yet you can't quite bring yourself to care. You call out to her, the one you see over the street, but she didn't turn around, she just walked on and didn't look back, just like when she had left the hospital, left you.

Well so long my friend I'm gonna miss you

So sad that we never got to choose

Well so long, you know I hate to lose

You know that even if you didn't love her, you'd still miss her. She was your best friend, the only real friend that you'd ever had. In spite of that friendship, however, you still find yourself wondering how it would have turned out if things had been different, if she hadn't been married, didn't have a family. If she'd had nothing to lose by choosing to be with you, would she have done so? Unfortunately, thinking about what ifs doesn't make any difference to the situation that you find yourself in now; much as though it makes you sad there never was a choice for her, even if she did have any feelings for you, which you'll never know because she never told you, her family, her children, meant far too much to her for her to just up and leave for another man. So much as you hated to lose her in any capacity, when she told you she had to leave, you told her to do what she had to and that you'd be fine. She'd had to think of her family, so you'd pushed aside your feelings for her, said goodbye, left her a farewell card and not seen her again.

I'll be waiting at the doorway

When this life of ours is through

And I'll find you, to remind you

That I've always been in love

You know that you would wait forever for her, even if you also know that there is next to no chance of her ever returning to you. You have fallen for her and you know that love is permanent, that there is and will be nobody else for you. You most likely won't have her in this life; her family means too much to her, but you hold out hope that there will be some point that you'll be together in some future life. You dream that one day, when you see her again, you'll be able to walk up to her and tell her again just how much you love her, that you've always loved her and hopefully she'll feel the same and you can spend the rest of time together, just as you should be.

I'll be waiting at the doorway

When this life of ours is through

And I'll find you, to remind you

That I've always been in love with you

I'll always be in love with you…


Please read and review, I would really appreciate it!