Harry Potter and the Hogwarts Harem The Rewrite
by Red Jacobson

TITLE: Harry Potter and the Hogwarts Harem The Rewrite


PAIRINGS: Harry/Multiples (Luna, Cho, Padma, Susan Bones, Pansy Parkinson, Katie Bell, Hermione, Fleur, many other girls)

WARNINGS: M/F, F/F, M/F/F/F, Oral, Anal, Violence, Character Death

SUMMARY: After driving Voldemort from his mind in the Department of Mysteries, Harry discovers that the connection between the two of them is gone. This is a good thing, right? Except that now Harry has another problem. A crossover with Characters from the Series, Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Specifically, they are characters as they appeared in my own fan fiction series, "The Fishbowl"

NOTE: This story branches off immediately after Harry drives Voldemort from his mind in Book Five. Some things from the rest of the book are the same, such as the prophecy, but others are very different. Also, Half-Baked Plot and the Deadly Halitosis are completely ignored.

A NOTE ABOUT THE TIMELINE: To line this story up with the Buffy time-line, I've moved the Potter-verse forward to the present day. Don't worry, you won't hear the characters talking about the latest boy bands or anything like that, it's just that, to make the crossover make sense, the events in the Potter-verse couldn't be taking place during 1995 – 1996. I'm also moving the BtVS series back a few years, so Xander and the others are around 30 when this story starts.

A NOTE ABOUT CHARACTERS AGES: In this AU, Hogwarts starts when the students are 13 years old, to avoid squickiness about Underage Sex. So all the characters getting nasty are at least 16 years old in this story.

DISCLAIMER:None of the Characters you recognize belong to me. If they did, I would certainly be making a lot more money than I am right now. So please don't sue me, I'm poor. *sigh*

AUTHORS WARNING: I write stories intended for an adult audience, which means that the characters will be taking their clothes off and doing nasty things that Rick Santorum and Dr James Dobson would not approve of. In other words, DANGER: SMUT ALERT! If you feel that your immortal soul would be imperiled if you read graphic descriptions of teenagers having sex, then move along, this story isn't for you! The rest of you, enjoy!

FEEDBACK: Has anybody ever said no? But, please, if you have criticism, please be as specific as you can so I can address the situation in the story if needed.

The Department Of Mysteries:

Blinded and dying, every part of him screaming for release, Harry felt the creature use him again...
"If death is nothing, Dumbledore, kill the boy..."
Let the pain stop, thought Harry. Let him kill us...End it, Dumbledore...Death is nothing compared to this...
And I'll see Sirius again...

And as Harry's heart filled with emotion, the creature's coils loosened, the pain was gone.

From Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Chapter Thirty-Six by J.K. Rowling

Dumbledore's Office,
shortly afterward
June 16th, early morning

Harry watched, stunned, as Dumbledore shielded himself from the massive whirlwind of destruction tearing apart his office. He was barely aware that he was the cause, he was still reeling from what he had been told, about the prophecy, and, even more upsetting, about why he was sent to live with those people every year. 'Fifteen solid years of abuse and starvation! And he knew! The old goat fucker knew! How could he have done this to me?' Harry blinked as the last device on what had been Dumbledore's desk exploded.

"Harry, I'm sorry..." the shaken old man began.

"Save it!" Harry snarled, "It's too late for apologies, but I'll tell you this, I am not going back to those people again. If you try to make me go back there, you will find that I do have enough hatred towards them to use the Unforgivables! And then what will you do, Old Man? According to you, I'm the only one who can kill Voldemort, and I can't do that if I'm locked up in Azkaban!"

Turning on his heel, Harry stalked to the office door, and could have smiled at the way it opened for him.

As the door closed, Albus Dumbledore stood erect, shaking off his 160 years and drew his wand. A few waves of the wand and muttered words, and all the damage was repaired, and the devices started working again. Smiling benignly, he slipped his wand into the holster in his sleeve and grinned happily. "About damn time he showed some backbone! Too bad Sirius got killed, it's been convenient having a secure location for our meetings, but it's war, and the cannon fodder always has to serve their purpose." In the corner, amazingly undamaged, sat Fawkes on his perch, chirping sadly.

"Oh, don't give me that look, Fawkes! I know you're fond of the boy, I am too, but he's been too soft to do what needs to be done. In my attempt to give that young man a relatively normal childhood, those scum may have destroyed the one thing that could have saved us all. The only thing to do is try and find a secure place for him to stay for the summer, and advise the Dursley family it might be a good idea to move out of the area. They probably won't take my advice, but I do have to make the effort, for appearances if nothing else." Pausing, his grin widened as he looked at his companion of so many years,

"I did notice one interesting thing tonight, even as Harry was destroying my office. The aura of darkness that had surrounded his scar for so many years was gone. It appears that Tom no longer has a link with the boy, and that means I can begin teaching him Occlumency! I took a quick look in his memories, and I'm extremely disappointed in the way Severus chose to interpret my orders. I'm going to have to speak with him in the morning and I doubt he will be very happy with the conversation. I think it's time he was reminded just who his true Master is!" The grin turned feral as he remembered previous times he'd had to 'discipline' the Potions Professor. The man had screamed so nicely when Albus had him bent over his desk. 'Ah, good times!' he muttered as he shut the lights off in his office and walked into his quarters.

Hogwarts Hospital Wing
The Same Time

Hermione gave up trying to sleep, her mind was moving too fast to allow her that escape, unfortunately. Over and over she saw the death eater raise his wand, and that horrible purple light shooting toward her. She tried to dodge, but kept getting hit. The next thing she remembered was waking up in the Hospital Wing and finding out what else had happened. She was sure she would mourn Sirius soon enough, but, for now, her mind kept coming back to one simple, inescapable fact, she almost died tonight!

'I almost died! I can't die yet, I'm only 18 years old! I have too much to do first! But, I did, I almost died, and I never had a chance to tell Harry how I really feel about him. Well, that's going to change, the next time I see him, I'm going to let him know. If he doesn't feel the same way, well, that's going to hurt, but it's better than not knowing. Although, judging by the way Luna and Ginny were watching him, I may have some competition. I wonder how they would feel about sharing? It's worked well enough for Dad and Mom and their wives, heh, and wouldn't that shock the hell out of the Weasleys if they knew that little tidbit? I bet Harry would love to see me with Luna or Ginny between my thighs! I know that Mum told me that Dad loves watching her with Aunt Faith and Aunt Kim, and Aunt Dawn, and Aunt Tara, and they do look hot together, especially when they make what Dad calls a Cordy Sandwich!' Shaking her head to clear the images of her adopted parents, she focused on what she would tell Harry as soon as she saw him.

With a decision reached, she was able to quiet her mind enough to go to sleep.

Gryffindor Tower
A Few Minutes Later

Harry managed to fall asleep fairly quickly once he reached his dorm, surprisingly not having any nightmares that he remembered the next morning. In fact the only dream he remembered was one featuring Cho and Hermione in the Quidditch locker room shower.

"Now why can't I have a dream like that every night?" Harry mused, as he prepared to get out of bed. He winced as his head started aching, 'wonder where that came from? I usually only get headaches from Voldemort messing with me... Oh Merlin, no! He was in my head last night! What if this is an after affect? I've got to see the nurse as soon as I can!' Getting out of bed, he looked down at himself, he saw that a certain part of his anatomy was remembering the dream. "Crap! I can't go to the nurse with that, she'd think I was some kind of loony. Well, at least taking care of it will give me a pleasant reason to remember the dream."

Climbing back into his bed he closed his eyes and remembered the dream...

The water was pouring down from the shower heads, hot enough to cause steam to cloud the room. Cho was standing under the water, letting the heat ease her sore muscles. As she relaxed, one of her hands moved to her breasts, teasing her nipples before pinching them, and moving down to her pussy. She moved the other hand to her mouth, and started licking on her fingers. She moaned around the fingers in her mouth as she slipped two fingers into her pussy and started pumping. After they were wet enough from her saliva, Cho moved the hand from her mouth and worked a finger into her arse. "Oh Harry!" she moaned, as she closed her eyes and leaned against the shower wall.

The gorgeous Chinese girl's moans were interrupted as Hermione joined her in the shower, kissing her as she removed Cho's hand from her pussy and replaced it with her own. Licking Cho's juices from her fingers, Hermione guided the beautiful Asian's hand to her own pussy, and soon the two of them had built up a rhythm.

As the two of them broke apart and lowered themselves down to the shower floor, Harry grunted as his hand brought his fantasy to a premature conclusion. "Damn! Just when it was getting good too!" He didn't even notice that the headache had eased up for a few minutes. After casting a quick cleaning spell on himself and his hand, he got up and showered to face the day.

Harry hurried to the hospital wing after having breakfast, ignoring the questions and strange looks from others at the table, only responding when Neville or Ginny, who seemed to be sitting very, very close to each other, asked him anything. As soon as he finished picking at his food, he went to see Madame Pomfrey and explained his concern to her. The nurse was very reassuring, saying that she isn't picking up any signs of dark magic from him, and gave him a couple of headache potions and told him to rest for the day, and if he still had the headache tomorrow to come and see her again.

He stopped by to visit with Ron and Hermione, but was disappointed to see they were both sound asleep. He looked at the nurse, and she smiled sadly and said,

"I gave both of them dreamless sleep potion, they'll wake up tomorrow, hopefully with the worst of the healing behind them. Don't worry though, they will both be fine fairly soon."

After Harry left, Madam Pomfrey dropped the facade of calm professionalism and floo'd the Headmasters office immediately.

"What seems to be the problem, Poppy?" Dumbledore asked, looking completely calm, if a little tired.

"It's Mister Potter! He came in complaining about a headache, and was worried that it was a side effect of his being possessed by You Know Who! I did a scan, and fortunately found no sign of any Dark Magic or possession, not even in the area of his scar, which has been reading for Dark Magic ever since he received it. Which, even though it's interesting, wasn't the reason I had to call you. I did a simple magical core scan, just to see if there was any damage, and, Albus, the boys' core has more than doubled since the first of September! I'm afraid that the headache is caused by too much magic for his body to handle, and if we don't find a cure, he's going to burn out, and, if he lives, the best he could hope for was to be a squib!"

"Now, Poppy, we don't know if that is what happened, it might just be a headache brought on by stress, after all, the boy did have an incredibly stressful night last night. If he still has the headache tomorrow, I'll speak to him, even though it's going to be embarrassing to both of us."

"Well, if you are sure Headmaster, I'll leave the next step up to you." Poppy said, ending the floo connection.

Dumbledore's Office

After Poppy had ended the call, Albus shook his head, a concerned look on his face for the benefit of the portraits who were watching, hiding the fact that he was actually incredibly amused at the things that just seemed to happen to the boy! He pulled a sheet of parchment from his desk, where he had started jotting down ideas for where Harry will spend the summer. The boy's new situation added quite a few more options... He was startled when a voice from one of the portraits interrupted him.

"Well, Albus, that was a nice, soothing, line of malarkey you passed on to your school nurse. You know as well as I do what is wrong with the boy!"

"I know, Phineas, but, I'm concerned how Harry will handle it. I was an adult, and already experienced with women before I had the problem. From everything I can tell, based on his interactions with girls here at Hogwarts, as well as his home life - yes, I know that is mostly my doing - but still, I believe that Harry is still a virgin. I know how much he hates being perceived as different, and having me tell him that he not only has to lose his virginity, but that he has to have sex at least three times a day for the next few months, until his body adjusts to the change in his core, or else he would lose his magic entirely? Trust me, I am not looking forward to that conversation! I have a hard enough time discussing sex with adults, but with a 17 year old? I just wish Sirius were still with us, at least he would be able to use the word 'sex' without embarrassing himself!"

The portrait paused for a moment, before chuckling dryly, "Yes, I can see where that would be a bit uncomfortable for you, but, the fact remains, it has to be done. And, as the only person still alive who has gone through what he is going through, you are the only person who would be able to explain the situation to young Harry."

"Yes, well, thank you for the support!" Dumbledore grumped, grabbing another lemon drop.

"Well, I'm going to be asking Harry to come to my office before dinner, and I'll be taking a close look at his core then. I have some information for him that should make him happy, as well as some thoughts on how he can deal with the loss of Sirius."

Turning away from the portrait, Albus smirked, "Well Harry, it looks like I was right, 'The Power He Knows Not' is definitely love!" The smirk dropped as he said, "Of course, this does make the decision of where he is to spend his summer a bit more complicated." Shaking his head, he put that aside for now, knowing that Severus would be in his office shortly.

The Harris Residence
Earlier That Morning

Alexander "Xander" Harris looked up from the book he was reading and turned toward the window in his study. He was surprised to see an Owl perched on the ledge, especially since they had just gotten a letter from Hermione yesterday. Getting out of his chair, he grabbed a couple of owl treats from the bowl on his desk and went to the window. Letting the owl in, he saw that it wasn't a school owl, but one from the Ministry of Magic. Frowning, he muttered, "What the hell do those assholes want?" Handing the owl the treats, and gesturing to the water bowl, he took the letter from the owl and sat back down at his desk.

Opening the letter, he scanned it quickly, before swearing softly. "Shit! I'd better let the others know, especially since Hermione was hurt in the mess. At least she'll be alright before too long." Pressing the button on the intercom, he said, "Cordy? Faith? Can you and the others come up to the office, I've got some news."

Releasing the intercom button, he picked up the phone and dialed a number from memory, glad that he was in the same time zone as the person he was calling.

The phone was picked up in two rings, and a crisp voice came over the speaker,

"Rupert Giles"

"Giles, it's me, I've got some news, I'm just waiting for the others to get here." Looking up as his door opened, he continued "And, they're here. Once everybody gets a seat, I'll go over what I've learned."

Looking around the room, the five women looking back at him had varying degrees of curiosity on their face. Even as distracted as he was, he still took the time to enjoy the beauty of the women. His primary wife, Cordelia, was every bit as beautiful today as she was in High School, although her features had softened from the constant sneer she wore then. Faith, as usual, affected a look of boredom, but he had known her too many years to be fooled by the front she was displaying. The family's lone red-head, Kim, was trying to hide her nervousness, she hadn't joined them until most of the strangeness of their life was a thing of the past. He smiled reassuringly at her, before turning to the newest members of their family, and their magical component, Tara and Dawn, both of them smiling calmly as they waited for him to speak.

"Okay, I just got word from our contact in the Ministry, it's been confirmed that the local Big Bad showed his scaly face in front of witnesses, including the Minister. From what our contact is telling us, a group of Hogwarts students, led by Harry Potter, went to the Ministry late last night, and were involved in a running battle with a dozen Inner Circle Death Eaters, including our old friend Lucius Malfoy." Pausing in his reading, he looked up at Cordelia and Faith, and said,

"Before you ask, yes, Hermione was there, and she was hurt, but is going to make a full recovery."

Faith chuckled, "And the Scooby Luck seems to pass down to the second generation!" All the others, except Kim, grimaced and nodded.

"Unfortunately, there was one presumed fatality, Harry's Godfather, Sirius Black, was knocked through an ancient artifact that the locals call the Veil of Death, and has not been seen since."

"Shit! Poor H!" Faith muttered, shaking her head sadly.

"Indeed," Giles' voice came from the speaker, "From what I've learned, Mr Potter was very close to Sirius, seeing him as a father figure. And, based on the events after the Tri-Wizard Tournament, I doubt that he will be offered any sort of grief counseling. In fact, he will probably be sent back to the so called 'loving care' of his relatives. I, for one, find that a completely unacceptable situation, don't you agree?" At the murmurs of agreement, he continued, "We still have several days before the students return from the school, but, if it turns out that Mr Potter is going to be returned to those people, I believe, Xander, that you and Faith and I should pay a visit to Number 4, and express our deepest displeasure with their treatment of him. I do believe that Ripper might just come out and play." The others could practically see the grin on the older man's face, one that was matched by both Xander and Faith.

Clearing his throat to get their attention, Xander continued, "Because the Big Bad was forced into the open, we can move a bit more openly as well. I'm getting the feeling that Fudge won't be in office for much longer, and Amelia Bones is the most likely person to take the job, at least until they can have an election. Giles, I'd like you to see if you can make contact with her, she'd more than likely take you far more seriously than she would one of us, if only because you are about her age, not to mention you can still use a wand." Glancing up at Faith, who was trying to muffle the snickers that came out, he grinned and said, "Faith? Mind, Gutter, Out!"

"Sorry, Xan" to the amusement of the others in the room.

"Anyway, you know what I meant. Cordy, can you send Hermione a letter, letting her know that we'd welcome Harry here over the summer? I'm sure that she'd love to have him here, and we can see about getting him some training that he hasn't had before." At her nod, he continued, "Of course, we are going to have to provide full disclosure to Hermione, and Harry as well. But I'm not going to miss pretending to be a dentist any more. That was annoying."

Seeing Cordy nod in agreement, he went on, "Hopefully, with Harry out from under Dumbledore's thumb, we can keep him distracted long enough to find out what the hell the old man is up to. He's supposed to be the leader of the White Hats, but he's done a whole lot of really strange things that make me wonder."

The meeting ended a few minutes later, and, after the others had left, Xander got up from his desk and walked to the back of the wood paneled office, stopping in front of a particular bookcase. Reaching up, he grasped the head of the plaster bust of Captain John Sheridan and twisted it slightly. "Gotta love the classics" he grinned as the bookcase to the left swung inward, revealing a flight of stairs heading downward.

Dumbledore's Office
That Afternoon

"Come in Harry!" Dumbledore called.

'Oh man, he is going to tear into me about last night, I just know it!' Harry braced himself and walked into the office.

"You wanted to see me, Sir?" Harry asked, his eyes on the floor.

"Yes I did, Harry. I have some news for you, and, hopefully, some suggestions that will help you over the next few days and weeks."

'What? Nothing about destroying his office? I can't believe it!' Harry looked up in surprise, and blinked, the office looked as if nothing had happened! 'Damn! I can't believe he was able to repair everything!"

Dumbledore spoke, quietly, "Yes Harry, I was able to fix everything, and, don't worry, I don't hold it against you, you were not yourself last night. And your loss is something that I would like to talk to you about. But we can get to that in a few minutes."

Harry looked up, and saw the sadness in Dumbledore's eyes. "To begin, I am looking for a place for you to spend the summer, since I agree, sending you back to your relatives would be less than useless. I have a few ideas, and when I find some that should work, I'll let you know so you can decide." A ghost of a smile crossed his face when he saw Harry's reaction. "Yes, I said you decide, Harry. I've had to accept that some of the decisions I made on your behalf were grave mistakes, and will be allowing you a lot more say in things that affect you."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Now, as for some suggestions that will help you deal with your loss, I would like to introduce you to a healer that I have used several times when dealing with a loss. Hopefully, she will help you with your grief. I can see that it isn't quite real to you at the moment, but, I know from personal experience that the grief can be overwhelming when it does hit you. Would that be acceptable to you?"

Harry sat and considered the offer, 'I can see why he didn't suggest this last night, I wouldn't have been in any state to listen to him. But I wonder why he is suddenly being so helpful? Maybe he figures it would be easier to keep me under control if I have some input. Well, fuck it, it doesn't matter why he's doing it, it still sounds like a good idea. I can't take another summer like last year, and I was a lot closer to Sirius than I was to Cedric.'

"Thank you, Sir, I would be happy to speak to the healer."

"Very good, and, after reviewing the Occlumency lessons you had with Professor Snape earlier in the year, I've decided to continue with your training. Hopefully you will find it easier to learn from me than from Severus."

Harry snorted, and muttered, "That's an easy goal to hit! I'd learn more from your gargoyle than I did from that git!"

"Yes, well, leaving your personal issues aside, I'm prepared to admit that having the two of you working together was not one of my better ideas. But, unfortunately, I don't know of a time turner strong enough to change the past year, so we just have to move forward. However, and please keep this to yourself, I have disciplined him very harshly, both for the Occlumency lessons, as well as his behavior toward you and the other students over the past several years." Seeing the suspicious look on Harry's face, "I also told him that he has until the winter break next year to show a marked improvement, or his contract would not be renewed." He kept his face impassive as he spoke of Severus' disciplining, not dwelling on the way the man had bled when he was bent over the desk.

The two of them spent another hour going over the basics of Occlumency. One of the main things that Harry learned was how to put aside his grief until he was able to get help dealing with it.

"I know how much Sirius meant to you, and, please believe me, you meant just as much to him. Don't think you are dishonoring his memory by putting aside your grieving for a time. He would understand, we all had to do it during the last war against Tom. While the rest of the world was celebrating when Tom fell the last time, several of us gathered together and remembered those we had lost. It was a sad thing, but it helped us go on."

Harry nodded, understanding what the Headmaster was saying, and recognizing that he could best honor Sirius by continuing the fight and avenging his death.

Harry finally left before dinner, feeling the beginnings of a massive headache. 'Damn, the potion isn't working, I'll need to take some more before I eat.'

The Great Hall
Dinner Time

Harry sat quietly eating, not really talking to anyone, just absently staring into space. Neville attempted to start a conversation with him, but soon realized that his friend was not hearing a thing he said. Harry looked up, and smiled painfully, "Sorry Nev, I've got a massive headache, I'm gonna go lie down for a while, see if it helps any."

"Okay, Harry, but, if it doesn't get any better, maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey."

"I already saw her this morning, she gave me a couple of potions. If I don't feel better by morning, I'll go and see her again. I'll be honest, though, I really hope I don't have to. I've spent enough time in her care over the years."

Neville chuckled, "That's for sure!" but then he said, "But like it or not, after what you went through last night, I'd definitely want to make sure it isn't anything major."

"Yes, Mother" Harry grinned, as he left the table.

Gryffindor Tower
A little later

Harry lay with his eyes closed, hoping that the pain would go away. He laid on his bed for almost an hour, wincing as any passing sound was magnified a hundred times. Finally, he just muttered, "I wish it would quiet down!" And two things happened, first silence fell around him, and, just for a second, his head stopped hurting. He sighed as the pain in his head went away, but before he could relax, the pain came back. Opening his eyes at the sudden silence, Harry said "Hello?" but did not hear anything. Wondering if he may have caused this, he thought 'Finite' and sound came back on. He also realized that the pain stopped when he cast the spell.

"Okay, that's it! This is definitely not a normal headache! I'd better go see the nurse."

End Chapter One