158Thanks for all the reviews. A little cliff hanger at the end here, but as you are reading, I am writing. :)
SPOV
Where did I even start? Do I just blurt it all out? Or skip around all the horrible details and just talk about the good stuff that's been going on?
"Has it really been so long that you can't talk to me anymore Steph?" I glanced up at the beautiful man sitting next to me and saw sadness fill his eyes. Was he right? Was it just that it had been so long? He reached over and took my hand in his, rubbing his thumb in slow circles. "I'm sorry I couldn't call you. Trust me; I wanted nothing more than the check in on you."
"It's okay, I know you aren't always able to call when you are away." With my free hand I picked at my napkin, "I guess I'm still just digesting that you are back." I felt tears fill my eyes "for awhile I wasn't sure if you were coming back at all."
He squeezed my hand trying to get me to look at him, "It's an adjustment for me too. I haven't been away from home this long since I was last deployed. It was always like this, coming home to everyone and everything moving forward and you still feel like it should be like it was when you left."
My heart clenched at his words. Of course he would feel like everyone was moving on. Here he was, risking his life for his country, so people like me could live and work and I didn't even stop to think how he would feel. "Ranger, so much has changed…. I don't even know where to start. I want to tell you everything but I just don't think I could cover it all in the next hour."
The waitress brought over our order, a meatball sub for me, salad and grilled chicken for Ranger. He grinned at me and said "I guess not everything changes."
We both laughed and I didn't notice when Joe walked over to the table "Moving on already I can see." I froze. What if he says something about the baby, about what happened?
RPOV
"Morelli" I nodded at him and replaced my smile with my blank face. "I just got back from mission and wanted to catch up with Steph. I hope that's okay." I've never asked Joe permission to speak with Stephanie before, and based on his greeting I'm pretty sure they are 'off' right now, but since she hasn't said anything this was the easiest way to confirm my assumption.
Stephanie's eyes were wide, like she was scared of what Joe was about to say. There was some sort of silent communication between them, Steph pleading with him, for what I don't know, and then he walked away.
She sighed and then plastered her fake smile onto her beautiful face "Sorry about that, Joe and I still aren't quite on the best of terms." So they are off. I hid my smile, clearly seeing the pain that that admission brought her.
"Do we have time for you to tell me what happened?" She was staring at her plate and I could see her contemplating my question. I always could read her every thought as they flashed across her face. Ah, so the answer was no.
"Not right now, but I'd really like to tell you soon." She glanced at her watch and stood up, half a meatball sub still on her plate. "We better get going. My meeting is in 30 minutes and I don't want to keep them waiting."
I threw some bills on the table and, placing my hand on the small of her back, lead her out of Pino's and back to Hayward.
Stephanie got off on 4 where the conference rooms were located and I headed up to 5. Time to grill some of my guys about what happened with Steph while I was away.
"Tank, my office." I barked as I passed by the command center.
"What's up boss?" He asked closing the door.
"Steph and the cop, what happened?"
Tank and I grew up together, entered boot camp together, and toured Iraq 3 times together. I was closer to him than I was any of my actual brothers and for the first time in 25 years of knowing the man he shut down on me.
"That's really something you and Steph should…"
"Bullshit!" I yelled. "I've been gone for 8 fucking months and everything's change. I want some answers now!"
"I'd be happy to reschedule a contract signing and go over all the Rangeman changes, boss. But," he looked pained, "I can't talk about Steph and Morelli."
I pinched the bridge of my nose, fighting off a headache. What was wrong with me? All I wanted was to come home and tell Steph I was ready for our 'someday' and nobody, not even my best friend, my brother, could tell me what I needed to know. She was hiding something, and clearly everyone else knew what it was.
"Other than Stephanie being hired, what other changes have you made?" I asked, I guess I could at least feel caught up at work.
"No new hires, but we could use a few new men. The guys have been working double shifts to cover the monitors, skips, and installing security systems. I've got Connie to do some skip tracing for us, since that's what she does for Vinnie anyway."
"Okay, I'll see about hiring some new guys. We can start them on the monitors and get the others out helping with instillations. Who do you have working on the contracts?"
"Right now just me and Bobby. Lester said he'd be back tomorrow and I thought we could add him. That would help us out a lot."
"Sounds good." Tank turned to leave but I stopped him, "Was it that bad Tank?" I didn't need to tell him I was asking about Steph.
"You can't even imagine Ranger." My heart clenched, I hadn't considered it before but what if Joe had hurt her. "He didn't hurt her, not physically." He answered my unspoken question.
Changing the subject I added "I'm going to clear out the office across from mine, put Stephanie there. That work for you?"
"Perfect, boss." With that he left. Deciding I needed a break from obsessing over Stephanie I pulled up my e-mail and submerged myself in my business. I was still baffled at how big Rangeman had grown. Tank was right, we needed new men. With the way things were progressing my guys would be burnt out in a month tops.
SPOV
It was 6pm and I was just leaving Rangeman. 4 afternoon meetings down, 4 new contracts ready to be signed, I couldn't help the smile that came over my face.
It was quickly erased, however, as I drove past the Trenton cemetery. Unexpectedly I turned in and wound my way through the gravel road up the plot. Guilt washed over me as I thought back to the last and only time I was here.
I had been 7 months pregnant, Ranger gone 4 months. Joe stood silently by my side as tears fell from my eyes, holding me close. Grandma Mazur had always been my outlet. Until Ranger, she was the only person in my life that understood me and encouraged me to be everything I could be. When I was young she always listened to my dreams, even the ones about wanting to fly. I'd never tell my mother but Grandma was the one who told me if I thought I could fly then I should try it. How was I supposed to go to Sunday dinner and not see Grandma sitting across from me?
A few of the Merry Men were standing in the crowd as well. I hadn't yet started working for Rangeman, Joe wanting me barefoot and pregnant, living as a housewife. After he found out I was pregnant he made me quit working for Vinnie and I'd been sitting at home ever since. Tank nodded to me and for an instant I felt like he was sharing Ranger's strength with me.
After the service I was a mess. Joe was comforting, rubbing my back trying to calm me. He even agreed to let us name our daughter after her. That had made me smile. As we walked back to the car his cell rang, emergency call, had to go into work. We had driven in separate cars to the burial site in case this happened. I was used to that.
The drive home is mostly a blur to me, mainly because I never made it home. It had started to rain and the visibility from the weather and my tears was horrible.
I let out a sob and dropped to my knees next to grandma's grave. My mother had been here recently as there were fresh flowers next to her headstone. So lost in my thoughts I jumped when I felt someone's arms encircle me from behind.
"Babe." I relaxed into Ranger, letting the tears flow. "I had no idea Steph. I'm so sorry." We stayed that way for a few minutes before I stood up.
"It was almost 4 months ago." I said, wiping the tears from my eyes. "There is so much more though, Ranger. I don't even know how to tell you." A new set of tears spilled down my cheeks and he reached out brushing them away.
"We'll start slow. You can tell me from the beginning, from the day I left." He reached out to me and I let him pull me in close.
"Okay" I whispered. "But not here." He started to lead me towards his car but I wasn't ready yet. "I need another minute, please."
"Sure Steph, I'll just wait here for you."
RPOV
I watched her walk back over to her Grandmother's grave. Guilt swept through me for not being here for her. If I hadn't gone on that last mission I could have been here just after she passed away. Stephanie kneeled back down and ran her hand across Edna's grave. It broke my heart to see her in so much pain.
A few minutes later, puffy eyed, she headed toward her car. "Meet you at my place?"
"Sure."
I followed her back to her apartment building. Once inside she collapsed onto the couch and patted the spot next to her. She looked nervous so I took her hand squeezing to let her know it was okay.
"Ranger…" She had to clear her throat, raspy from crying. "From the beginning?"
"Wherever you want to start Steph." Just talk to me, I silently begged.
"I'm so scared that you'll be mad at me." I reached out and swiped a fresh tear from her cheek. How did she not know, I could never be mad at her.
Pulling her close I kissed her hair and whispered, "Never babe."
She took a deep breath, "Okay, here it goes…"