This is my first story ever. I got inspired by all the "Snape is Harry's dad" stories. Also, Disclaimer: I own nothing. Literally, I live in public housing.
There was a knock at the door. Who in the world is showing up at my doorstep at this time of night? If it's Lucius, he can wait for his hair potion until the morning! Severus walked towards the dusty door of his Spinner's End home. Ready to yell at Lucius for being too vain to keep a watch, he pulls open the door with a retort ready. No one's here?
Severus looks around his porch to see if anyone had been in the street. It could be one of the neighbor kids playing a prank on him. That will be the last time I step in excrement! Severus slowly steps out onto his porch, but realizes he bumped into something. Staggering, Severus fell to ground but not before pulling the cloth that was covering his nighttime visitor.
"Get inside now…you could be killed," Severus managed to spit out calmly. Although there was nothing calm about the situation. Lily Evans, rather Lily Potter, just showed up on his doorstep. Why would she visit all of a sudden? Severus remembered the last real conversation he had with her outside the Gryffindor common room. Had she finally forgiven him? After five years? Severus could remember how hurt she was. He could also remember the hurt that ached deep in his chest. Avery and Mulciber were not able to get him out of his bed for a week. Severus deeply ached to be a part of her life, but he had ruined it with one word. Looking into Lily's eyes at that moment, he realized there was no longer contempt, but fear. Had she known Severus joined the Death Eaters? Before Severus could inquire though, Lily had started to speak.
"Severus, there is something I need to tell you." Lily started pulling Severus into his kitchen. Severus realized that he should probably offer her something to drink. Otherwise I'd be a bad host!
"What's happening? I thought you were under the Fidelius charm," Severus spoke while handing Lily a glass of firewhiskey.
"I still am under the charm. But I…" Lily started stuttering. It was something hard for her to say, because every time she would get the courage to continue a word or two, she would shut back down.
"Lily, I'm sure whatever you have to say it can't be as bad as you think it is…"
"I stole your semen, Sev. The boy is yours." Severus was flabbergasted at this new development. The only thing Severus could do in front of the woman he loved was to gape like a fish out of water.
"I knew you would react like this, Sev. You see, I knew I'd need it one day, your semen that is. I'm surprised my parents would let us have sleepovers…even when we were teenagers. Of course, it helped that my parents thought you were gay," Lily had spoken with a renewed confidence.
"Okay, continue…" The normally eloquent Severus Snape was replaced with a bumbling idiot. Severus didn't know whether to be horrified or start checking to see if it's the real Lily. The real Lily would never do the thing she just admitted to!
"Well, I noticed you started pitching tents, so to speak…"
"So…I knew I wanted kids one day. I didn't know if you would be the father of my children naturally or not. Maybe I would meet a guy and fall in love. I couldn't count on that happening though." Severus could feel his heart breaking all over again. It was almost as bad as after the Mudblood incident at this particular admission. She would never fall in love with me then. Lily didn't love him like that. She loved him enough to procure his semen from a young age though.
"I knew one day when we were older I'd ask for your semen, even though I already had tons of it under a preservation charm. I was prepared for you to refuse me. Either way, I knew I wanted to have a child."
"I used this rare potion called Surprise Inside. I looked it up while we were still in school. Basically, after putting your semen inside of my vaginal opening, the directions said for me to put some in a vial and drink it down with the potion mixed. However, it required me to eat and drink semen for the rest of the month." Lily, his Lily, just admitted to not only procuring his semen, but eating it as well.
"I drank your semen, Sev. I put it in everything I ate…pudding, steak and kidney pie, cookies...And of course I couldn't just make separate food for me without raising suspicion. I wanted to make sure I got pregnant, so James ate about as much semen as me. As well as Sirius, Remus, and Peter…they were over all the time. Funny thing is, they actually enjoyed my cooking more with your secret ingredient added."
"Umm…why didn't you just sleep with Potter? Does he, how do you put it, shoot blanks?"
"Oh no, of course not! He's perfectly fertile. I'd say overly fertile with the amount of semen he can produce. Oh lord, he could put out house fires with it." Severus couldn't help but to choke back vomit. This was more information than he needed to ever know about Potter. He almost couldn't stomach the thought of Potter putting out a house fire with his baby gravy…bile threatened to rise again at the thought of the size of Potter's fire hose. He actually tasted bile when he thought about Lily knowing how much Potter can produce.
Lily noted his discomfort at the shade of green Severus was turning. Severus, regaining some color, looked over to Lily and said, "But he's fertile? And doesn't he want an heir?"
"Yes and he does, but, seriously Sev, he's an idiot. Any kid I'd have with him would be an extraordinary wizard yet dumber than flobberworms. You're extraordinary…and smart. It's a win-win with your semen."
"Sev, I know this is a lot to digest right now. I just thought I'd let you know." Lily strode the front door with her husband's cloak and disappeared into the night. Lily was right. It was a lot to digest.