~So many of you will think that's a cheesy title but, simply put, I was listening to that song while trying to title the chapter XD
What can I say I like One Direction, even have their album and everything lol.

Okay so, I'm not sure what to put as my AN but this is my first ever try at fanfiction, and the first time people that I don't know are going to read something that I've written, besides poems, so I am a little nervous, but let's see how it goes!
It so hot in England right now man! *wipes forehead*
Also excuse any crappy alignment and stuff, as I said, I've never used this before :S
Anyway enjoy! I am off to do some reading and eat nomnom
- Disclaimer: No I'm not the genius behind SouthPark! IF ONLY haha :D ~

Chapter One-

What Makes You Beautiful.

I waited with my arms folded atop my little yellow car while Clyde's mum gave him a list of all the things he needed to remember while we were gone, including instructions on how to use a washing machine and dishwasher. I rolled my eyes at how useless Clyde could be, well, not necessarily useless.
Her blue eyes glistened with tears and she dabbed them with a silk handkerchief.
I cleared my throat out of awkwardness and turned my head away thinking of my mother and father, and how he seemed irritated that I was leaving so suddenly. I frowned and rubbed my forehead, I couldn't read my mother's restricted expression.
"Oh I forgot! I got you boys some food; let me quickly go get it before you leave!" She quickly turned from us and rushed back inside the large red house, her heels tapping loudly on the concrete as she went.
Clyde turned to face me from the opposite side of the car, a grin plastered on his chubby cheeked face
"Did you tell your mum and dad that you were leaving or did you just take off?" He pinned me with a serious expression, which lasted a couple of seconds because Clyde wasn't built to hold serious faces for long.
"Do we need to go back there?" He continued, and he didn't mean too, but his nose wrinkled at the mention of going back to my parent's house. I shook my head at him
"Nope."
"You didn't tell them you are going to university did you?" He quirked an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side.
"Sure I did, as I was leaving, this morning."
"You told your sister though, right?" He looked concerned for a moment
I nodded my head, the main reason for any form of uneasiness is because I didn't want to leave my sister there all by herself. I bit my lip when the thought of my father taking his annoyance out on her crossed my mind, I shook my head to get rid of it; he wouldn't dare.
The brunette's mom came back, with two bags of shopping and handed them both to me to load into the car. She then gave us both big hugs and kisses on each cheek; Clyde's father was working that morning, but he had said 'bye' to him the night before.
I smiled to myself and soaked up the over the top affection that Clyde's mother gave me.
"I want you eating properly Craig!" She pressed my nose with a finger and hugged Clyde again.
She waved to us as we drove off together, her eyes watering again. I felt as though I was leaving town for years on end with how sad Clyde's mum was being. It was good to be leaving though.
"Food?" He turned to me, teeth bared and smiling. I rolled my eyes
"Sure"
We were going to be late at meeting the others, but I didn't care, I was getting a KFC.

These New Puritans played quietly in the background and I had a sudden urge to do a leap of faith off of a high building and into a pile of hay.
Shame on you if you don't get that game reference, you're missing a massive joy in your life.
"You know the next ones out in October..." The boy next to me mumbles dipping his fingers into the left over gravy pot. I was more of a coleslaw person.
I nod my head in response; yes I did know, and I couldn't wait to get my grubby little hands on the game itself and use the bow and arrow feature.
It was late afternoon and my car smelled like KFC.
I sighed as I leaned close to the front window of my car; the sky outside is dark and gloomy, and I was finding it hard to see down the street, let alone the door number of the house we were trying to find. It didn't get any easier when the male next to me had the attention span of a small child and kept sighing out of boredom every ten minutes, along with the constant tapping of his fingers against any hard surface within reach, which is a pet peeve of mine, and many times in my mind I had broken his fingers.
"Are we there yet?" He would sigh and I would roll my eyes muttering
"Clyde if we were there I wouldn't still be driving now would I?" I quirked an eyebrow at him
"I'm hungry, wanna stop for food?" He grinned hopefully at me.
"How can you eat this much food Clyde?" I had a feeling the rest of us would starve after living with the brunette; he never seemed to be full.
"I'm a growing boy!" He grinned repeating the same line that his dad always said when Clyde ate too much.
"Not any more" I chuckled "We're eighteen, we're practically full grown!"
"I have a high metabolism!" He threw his hands into the air and flexed his biceps despite not being visible underneath his big ugly red jacket, ugly by personal opinion.
The journey itself was a long one without me having to tell the others to keep stopping because Clyde needed food, because Clyde needed the bathroom, because Clyde wouldn't stop whining.
The brunette next to me drummed his fingers against the glass pane of the side window. I grip the steering wheel a little tighter, and squint my eyes peering out into the night.
I sighed and mumbled
"Stan doesn't know where he's going does he?" Next to me Clyde shrugged his shoulders, happy to complain but too lazy to do anything about it.
His ugly red jacket that he always seemed to wear is visible to me in the reflection from the headlights of my car. The coat made him look like a typical American jock, and was the most unflattering garment he owned.
"You know that jacket makes you look fat Clyde" I quirk an eyebrow and focus my attention back to the silver car in front of me.
"Yeah? I'd say that hat made your head look big, but I think that's just you." He smirked and I pouted because as much as I liked to say it was my hair, I did have a slightly above average head.

Stan's silver car eventually slowed down in front of me and began to park next to an old authentic looking house. The car behind me began to pull over as well and I figured that I should really do the same, assuming that this was our spot, hoping that this was our spot; it had been a long evening and although I wasn't actually tired in the slightest, this four hour long drive had become tiresome – you could say that I lacked an attention span too, unless I was kicking butt in some far off land with a weapon that lacked logical proportion.

Clyde snored next to me having fallen asleep after the first two hours, thankfully.
I stopped my small yellow car and got out resting my arm atop the roof and stared across the road. This white peeling wallpapered building, with its splintered window frames and cracked stone tiles running up the front of the front garden, is going be my living space for the next three years. It wasn't outstanding, in fact it looked like it was on the verge of combusting, but it was going to be my new home, and as far as I was concerned, anything was better than living at home.
I looked down at the sleeping boy curled up in the car and smirked before squeezing his nose between my thumb and forefinger. It took a surprisingly long time before he started spluttering and waving his arms about like a drowning man. I let go and laughed while he glared at me, I flipped him off
"Get up sleeping beauty."

I briskly made my way inside, not wanting to make it obvious, but wanting to get inside first so that I could choose the biggest room, if there was one.
I smiled and dumped my stuff inside it atop my bed, and opened the door to the left and to the right of me and threw a bag in each of those rooms too, marking them as my own, until Clyde and Tweek came up to take over.
"I guess this is it then?" I mumble and slowly make my way downstairs.
The inside of the house was about as appealing as the outside, everything was old and dirty. It had the clogged up smell of dust and made my fingers itch with a need to clean, it almost made me feel dirty just breathing in here.
I huffed and sat down on the shabby couch and took a look around. The slightly higher voice of Kyle coming through the front door way drifted over to my ears
"Are you sure this is meant to be for five people, dude, it's looking kinda small." He dumped his yellow rucksack onto the ground before me and sat down next to me. I turned my gaze towards him and always found looking at Kyle odd, since he'd decided to ditch the green hat until winter fully came around.
He'd also grown tall and slim, but not bony, just thin by nature. He let his orange wavy locks grow beneath his jaw line with a small little side fringe over his brow. I liked Kyle because he was sensible, which meant he would be a useful asset when living together, and easily be the mum to us all.
I looked about the front room and wrinkled my nose a little at the mustard coloured walls and brown carpet. The sofas are a navy blue, nothing matched and reeked of recycled materials, not that there was anything wrong with reusing stuff, it just looked like everything in this house had pretty much gone far beyond its expiry date.
I was irritated to notice that there was no front room television and sighed with glee when I remembered helping Clyde load one into the trunk.
Three pairs of feet heavily trotted down our creaky staircase, having dumped everything in their bedrooms. I leant my head back over the top of the velvet couch and let my dark eyes wander over the three other boys; Stan, Tweek and Clyde.
Stan occasionally wore his blue beanie, mostly due the fact that girls said he looked cute with it on. He'd grown a lot as well, not as tall as me or Kyle mind you. His shoulders and chest had gotten a lot thicker and wider.
I preferred to see Stan's raven hair, but I wasn't going to say anything about it.
Stan is smart and a logical thinker, which made him useful with money spending and other such things; he could easily be the father to my new house.
Tweek remained standing to the left side fiddling with the cuffs of his jacket, or his hands; he was always anxious which made him fidgety.
He twitched a lot less than what he used to back in secondary school, thankfully. I was actually starting to get a little concerned of his well being as we got older, and of course it was my idea to get Tweek to fill up the fifth spot to our house.
Tweek is second tallest to me, with long fingered hands that he eventually put to good use and learned to play the guitar. I was pleased to find that he had brought his acoustic with him; I loved our weekend hangouts where we would sit and play music together, it was like a secret band rehearsal for just the two of us.
The others never really spoke to the messy blonde as much as I did, he'd always been too odd to be a part of a group at school; if he wasn't with me he was usually on his own, but he's always been a good friend of mine and there was no way that I was having Cartman fill in the last spot. I would rather live on my own and eat rice pudding for the rest of my life. I shuddered at the thought of rice pudding and its lumpy stodgy substance that reminded me so much of vomit.
The tall blonde was defiantly second best to Clyde.
Clyde yawned out of laziness, not tiredness.
"So, uh, Craig, wanna help me un-pack?" Clyde grinned and showed off his pearly white teeth and looked hopefully at me. I rolled my eyes and stood up stretching my long limbed body as I went
"Sure, whatever." I rubbed my navy eyes and followed the brunette up into his new, but very used, bedroom; it was to the left of mine, naturally.
I figured it was only a moment of time before Clyde asked me to help him help sort his room out, I was just biding my time resting until he asked me; I needed to sort out my room, but it could wait, for now.
I quietly pushed the door closed behind us and watched while the closest thing I had to a brother shrugged off his hideous red jacket, the one he always seemed to wear.
"I was really hoping you would lose that jacket on your way up." I mumbled, my deep gravelly voice almost making it inaudible.
Thank goodness I didn't sound like a nasally chipmunk anymore.
We hadn't moved that far away from the small town we lived in, but it was enough for me to get some breathing space, for both of us to get some breathing space.
He raised his eyebrows and turned around to look at me amusement glowing on his slightly rounded face
"What this jacket? What could ever be wrong with it?" He played oblivious and dumped the red cloth onto his small single bed, followed by himself, the wooden frame creaking at the new weight.
"What's wrong with it? It makes me look cool, and Bebe loves it."
I rolled my sharp eyes and lifted a cardboard box up onto Clyde's bed, nudging his cotton clad feet out of the way in the process.
"That's because she likes to fancy herself as a cheerleader." I mumbled and pulled out the contents of the small box. I turned to him holding out my hands "What am I your Mother now?"
"You love it" he tossed me a wink. I turned my head away a small smile on my face.
I held out my hands and jested to them while holding out the socks and boxer shorts I had picked out. I wasn't actually bothered by looking after Clyde; he looked after me all the time and his mother babied him so it was only natural that someone else had to do it while she wasn't here, even if it meant making him breakfast and dinner every day, and nagging him to shower regularly.
He laughed
"Okay, mildly awkward" he gestured to the jock strap that was hanging off of my little pinkie, I wrinkled my nose at seeing it. He made no indication to remove it and remained lying on his sheet less bed and continued to watch me stuff away his undergarments into the small desk behind me, directly behind me, every time I bent over I could it feel it brushing against my backside.
"How does it feel to know that you wear more thongs than your girlfriend?" I snickered immaturely and he looked confused for moment
"That's not a thong man its jock-strap! I have to wear one." He laced his fingers behind his messy brown head. I ignored him and gestured to the elastic bands at the back
"This is a thong ... Almost" I said and grabbed more of his underwear "How can you have so much? You never clean." I smirked and lay down next to him, our sides pressed tightly together.
With other people this kind of contact always scared me, and made me nervous. Clyde was the only one I allowed to touch me, or at least, the only person I could tolerate touching me.
In all sappiest of terms I cherished Clyde more than anything, more than Stripe. Clyde saved me from my parents, from death.
I try not to think about it all too much, it makes my throat dry and my stomach churn.
I rubbed my eyes when flashes of that night fluttered before me. My body felt shaky and my nose feigned the rusty smell of blood.
Months after 'that night' had happened Clyde barely left me alone he even made me spend nearly every damn night sleeping at his house and phoned me nearly every hour to check what I was up to. He always managed to keep it casual, even though both of us knew that he was checking up on me. He never once made me feel like I was being questioned, and at one point he even got me to text him every time I got into the shower and whenever I would leave. It sounds insane, and at times it was frustrating. I almost resented him for caring so much about me.
If Clyde wasn't here I really, really wouldn't be, not even for Tweek.
"You scared?" The brunette next to me stared up at the crusting and dusty ceiling for a moment before casting his gaze towards me, turning his head to the right. I turned my head to the left and smiled at him
"It's a good scared Clyde."
He nodded his head content with my answer before casting his gaze back to the ceiling. He then leant up on a toned arm and leaned over me, shadowing me from the bedroom light
"Do you think we might have left it a little late to apply for university?" He chuckled as did I gesturing to the house.
"We defiantly got someone's short straw, that's for sure." We laughed again, his nasally voice going slightly higher at the edge of each giggle.
His head hung forewords and brushed against my chest. I breathed in deeply and felt the scent of Clyde wash over my face; just the smell was enough to comfort me. I felt at ease, at home.
The brunette above me raised his head. We stared at each other for a moment before Clyde wrapped his arms around me and dug his fingers into my sides, tickling me, causing me to writhe and squeal beneath him like a little girl
"Stop it!" I screamed and on reflex slapped him in the face. I laughed and watched him fall off of the bed.
We both glanced at each other before turning to look at the bedroom door, it knocked again, and Clyde told whoever it was at the door to 'come in'.
Kyle poked his orange head in and gave use a heads up of the time, basically telling us that it's late, and that we should be quite.
Thanks mum.
"I guess I should go then" I mumbled. We stared at each other for a moment, knowing exactly what the other is thinking.
"Night." We both said it at the same time. I got up to leave and he groped my behind like he usually did when we parted ways
"Nice ass." He winked at me and I rolled my eyes, thinking one day I'll pluck up enough guts and surprise him by turning around with a kiss.

This night is a first of many nights to come spent with me staring across at my bland bedroom wall, not because I was scared, but simply because I couldn't sleep. I would lay there in the darkness playing with the woollen strands that dangled from my chullo.
Later that night my bedroom door creaked open followed by footsteps. My bed shifted under the moonlight. My heart stopped in my chest for just a moment an image flashing before my eyes, till I caught the familiar scent of Lynx- Dark Temptation, and suddenly I wanted a bar of chocolate.
A cold hard body slipped underneath my deep blue quilt and pressed closely against my back. A toned arm slid over my side and hung loosely around my waist, partially because of the needed warmth, and partly because the beds are too small.
I felt the slow rhythmic breath against the back of my neck. I sighed and fell asleep dreaming of melted chocolate and Easter bunnies.

I sighed at the feeling of the morning sun ghosting over my face, until I felt that. Swinging an arm over my shoulder I shoved the boy behind me roughly
"Clyde! Seriously, we're not spooning anymore if I have to wake up one more time to your morning glory digging me in the ass!"
I pointed an angry long finger at him.
He remained lying down in my bed, hands covering his crotch
"That big ass of yours shouldn't be so comfy Craig, I almost thought I was sleeping with Bebe." He burst out laughing at my wrinkled nose, and then suddenly stopped. I quirked an eyebrow at him while playing with the yellow rope on my chullo.
"Dude did you wear that hat to bed?" He leant up on an elbow and gestured to the hat sitting on my head. His boxer shorts hung dangerously low on his hips.
Clyde studied physical education as a degree and had a good physic, to say the least. I preferred not to dwindle on it for too long, it made me feel self conscious and reminded me of how much of a jock he could be.
"You did didn't you? You know you wear that hat way too much, you're gonna be bald by the time you're twenty-five" Clyde got out of bed and gave a morning stretch unconsciously thrusting his hard penis out towards me. I didn't stare at his muscles.
"It was cold last night" I crossed my arms over my pale thin chest; yes I was tall, but I was also one of those boys whose arms and legs grew a lot quicker than the rest of them, so I'm lanky as well.
"I'll shower, you make us breakfast stretch"
"Clyde!" I pulled on a white T-shirt "Hurry, if you're late I am leaving without you, I'm not being late on my first day because of you fat ass!"
"Lies, I am not fat!" He shouted back down the hall and closed the bathroom door. I snickered and went down to the kitchen, and began making breakfast with what little food we had brought with us, we were in need of large 'man shop'.
Tweek was the first to awaken, bright and early, sitting with his mug of decaffeinated coffee. It had been a long and hard few months trying to convince Tweek that he had a caffeine addiction, let alone trying to subtly switch it over to de-café; his shakes are a lot better now, albeit, he's still an anxious wreck, but at least without caffeine it lessened it by a lot.
Tweek was someone that suffered with having an addictive personality, which meant that he would and could easily get addicted to simple things, like coffee, or chocolate or bread, it could be anything and somewhere in his system it's used to supplement with an emotion that he feels. It could easily be the same as smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol every day.
I was just waiting for his body to supplement his loss of caffeine with something else.
"Morning Tweek" I smiled and he smiled nervously back at me, huddled in the back corner of our kitchen table.
It was going to be a while before I fully got used to seeing these guys faces every morning, minus Clyde, sometimes I wouldn't mind not waking up to his face.
Everyone got dressed. It was a bit manic trying to sort everything out, and taking it in turns to get ready in the one bathroom that we all shared, some being messier than others. I wasn't clean a freak it just annoyed me when people couldn't put things back in their places, like when people put various things on my dinner plate and have them all mixed together and touching. I had to separate everything before I could eat.

I sighed and sat in my little banana car, deciding it may be best to drive instead of trying to find our way on our first day by bus.
Clyde clambered in next to me and I switched on the radio. We grinned at each other and began singing along to Hoobstank-Inside of You. We may have looked like a pair of homosexuals exclaiming our need for each other but who cared?
I didn't until me and Clyde's eyes clashed and he sincerely asked what he had to do to get inside of me, following it with a wink. I don't know why, or what happened, but suddenly I felt embarrassed and had to stare intently out the window for a few moments. He laughed at my reaction of course, and slapped my ass harder than he usually did when we parted ways.
Hopefully people saw it as a bromance thing, not that I cared if people thought I was gay, I just didn't want to be pinioned as the 'gay kid'. I fiddled with the strings of my chullo again and looked up at the large white glass panelled building that I would be spending most of the next few years of my life. It seemed dominating and the thought of having to try and find my own way was a little off putting; I wouldn't ask for directions unless I desperately needed them; social interaction wasn't a strong point of mine.
The sky outside looked sunny, and I almost wanted to be out there lying in field of daisies with the warmth of the sun caressing my skin.
I placed my headphones into my ears and decided to be ignorant.

"Hey Craig, do you mind if I sit here?" A girly voice asked me while the occupant was already piling her stuff onto the space next to me.
It had taken awhile, and on the verge of a mental breakdown, I had finally managed to find my classroom, mostly due to me judging what kids looked like film students and, at a safe distance, following them to class.
One boy noticed and offered to take me into his toilet cubicle, which, I 'regrettably' declined.
I inwardly cringed and lolled my head back to see that it was Bebe.
Bebe is Bebe, she's Clyde's girlfriend, she's that blonde girl with large breasts and ass, she's tall, she's attractive, well to most people, and she's not really my type. She constantly flipped her long curly blonde hair and battered her eyes because she thought every boy fancied her.
I didn't hate her, but I wasn't particularly fond of her, in other words, you wouldn't hear a peep out of me if I never saw her again for the rest of my life, however, as for mentioned girl is dating my best friend and that meant I had to be nice.
I began fiddling with the biro pen on my desk, voices from other students echoed quietly around us.
"You're taking film?" I forced out a smile, well, I forced my mouth to curl up a little bit.
She flipped her curled blonde hair over her shoulder and plonked down next to me and grinned, batting her eyelashes. She pulled out a pink lip gloss and applied it without needing to look in a mirror.
"Yes of course! I want to be an actress, remember?"
"Shouldn't you be doing performance arts or theatre instead?" I fiddled with my notebook and the pen on top of the table. Her being here and talking to me made me feel a little anxious because I knew that I had to be nice her. I had to out of respect of the fact that she is Clyde's girlfriend, and I hated it.
She flipped her hair over her shoulder again and smiled at me.
She smelled of sweets and all things pink.
She paused and watched as the lecturer entered the room and began to introduce himself. He was tall and slim with jet black hair, and dressed with the hideous fashion of wearing a pair of flip-flops' with worn loose jeans.
She turned back to me after listening to his introduction
"I'm already a qualified actress silly, I don't need classes, and if I make my own films I can cast myself as the leading lady." She giggled, her voice getting higher and more enthusiastic the longer she spoke about her future plans. She continued, and continued talking about all these magical ideas and everything that she wanted, for some reason I thought she would change topic, or even ask about me, but she seemed content with talking about herself.
I supposed this made it easier for Clyde, this way he rarely had to try and make conversation, he had just had to listen to her speak.
I still think she is after his money.
All I wanted was to pull my hat over my face and bang my head against the table. How could Clyde put up with this? Did she even breathe?
"Look Bebe, It's nice to talk to you and all, but ... It's class time, and I'm trying to study ya know?" I flipped open my book and prodded at the empty page before me, to emphasize, and forced a smile onto my face that was no doubt crooked and ugly. As are my teeth and the braces straightening them out; I had to get braces late in life due to money issues, and my dad being an asshole.
"You're so rude Craig! I don't even know why Clyde even bothers with you sometimes." A frown came over her brow and she did what all girls did when they got annoyed; her eyes shining with what I hoped wasn't a waterfall of tears. It wasn't that I would necessarily feel bad for upsetting her but there was a distinct malfunction within the male species that made us unable to handle a crying woman.
Its things like this that made me think that God is a woman and made us so typically useful to the female species that it was hardly ironic.
It was the pig headed dick thinking men that made me think the opposite.
My eyes widened in fear as the sound of sniffing drifted up to my ears. I Swallowed and gripped the edges of my lined paper book.
A student asked a question to the left of me.
"Oh, okay...Sorry, I'm just finding it hard to multitask, you know being a man and all" I forced out a chuckle and fiddled with my blue woollen hat awkwardly, while all the while begging internally for her not to burst into tears.
She turned to me then a smile splitting her face into two
"So how come you're not with anyone Craig?" She poked me in the cheek with her biro pen. A frown came onto my forehead
"What do you mean?" I said while rubbing my cheek of any ink, feeling the scratch of the metal squares rubbing against my flesh, thankfully I was on the second semester of having my braces, which meant that they weren't nearly as painful as what they were at the start. I cringed, thinking about the pain. She rolled her eyes at me
"I mean Craig, that the whole time me and Clyde have been together you've never had a girl friend, and it's not like you're not good looking or anything, lots of people actually think you're cute!"
I couldn't help but feel slightly smug about that latter of that sentence.
I mentally slapped myself for the idiotic grin the scrawled onto my face
"Shame you have braces though, that can be a little off putting" she looked sympathetically at me.
"Sure for vain people like you." I mumble to myself
"Excuse me?" She said, dignified.
"I said 'sure for vain people'"
The teacher stopped speaking; having finished his introduction, and turned to the white board behind him and began to speak about all the different things we were going to cover in our first year of university, making a bull point list on the white board for us to take notes, should we feel like it.
The blonde next to me suddenly grabbed my shoulders and turned me around to face her, a mischievous look glinting in her eyes
"I know, you're like Stan and Kyle aren't you?" She giggled behind her left hand.
"Uh, Stan and Kyle are many things ..." I quirked an eyebrow
"Yeah and they're both gay together, don't tell me you don't know you've been their friend for years"
Albeit, yes they did share separate rooms at our new place, but that was more for space rather than secrecy. In reality it was hard to not know that they were a couple, and not because they paraded it everywhere, or because Cartman had been the first to tell many people- he'd had a field day with Kyle being Jewish as well, but it was the weeks of awkward tension that followed Stan after breaking up with Wendy, if anything, it helped him and Kyle find each other just that little bit more.
As weird as it may sound, I couldn't really picture Kyle with anyone else, and it had always seemed weird seeing Stan and Wendy together.
I was happy for them both, and especially happy for Kyle because I've had to endure many years of him dreaming and going all gooey over Stan, so many times I had wanted to just accidently let something slip. I never understood how he hadn't noticed the special way that Kyle looked at him.
"Of course I know they're together Bebe." I squint my eyes at her, the sharp shape and dark colour seeming to come across as lustful rather than angry, or so I've been told.
"Oh come on Craig, you know what I mean, you're gay aren't you? That's why you never date anyone, isn't it?" She looked pointedly at me "You're in the closet"
There was no closet, and I was most defiantly not sat inside it.
"Uh, no, no I'm not..."
She didn't seem convinced either.
Hell I wasn't even convinced, not that I'd ever put that much thought into it.

Like a virus that thought had been planted into my brain and continued to grow until I couldn't think of anything else. I even attempted checking out both sexes to see if it stirred something in me but nothing happened.
I wasn't gay or straight, I was simply Craig Tucker.
Of course this would need further investigation, but there was only so much I could do without my Watson with me.

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I'll try and make it longer, but as I said before I'm not sure with page space and stuff as this is my first time posting on FF, but let me know what you think! :)