AN: Well, I might as well get started on this next chapter. Hopefully it won't be too bad. However, first, there are a couple of reviews that I would like to answer:

Guest: "You seem to be forgetting a certain key thing about Blacklight here. It's a virus, his blood would not be even remotely attractive to a vampire and if it retained even a marginal amount of its original properties Moka would be dying a very horrible death from an infection of hyper-evolutionary virus. especially considering the fact that a vampires blood must be even more susceptible to diseases, seeing as it's not theirs originally and that they cannot produce blood on their own (thus the need to drink it).

Mercers weight was measured in Tons, a bike hitting him would be comparable to a bike ramming a concrete wall at high speeds, also reflexes and instincts, after everything that Naruto here has learned and experienced there is no way a bike would be too fast or stealthy for him to avoid.

TL:DR Don't hug cannon like is the best thing ever, it really isn't. Just because something is amusing don't sacrifice believability for it. For my sanity's sake, please don't waste the potential of this fic."

*Sigh...* Alright, you make several good points here. However, I'm going to have to refute them for my own reasons. First off, yes the Blacklight is a virus. However, in CoG: NOT I stated that the particular strain Naruto has is one that has evolved so much that it has passed into the area between realistic and supernatural. As such, Naruto has a great deal of control over it, as well as its lethality. Also, the ability of the Blacklight (AKA, consuming others) is exactly what causes Moka to be attracted to his blood: It contains the essence of many living things, and is so much more concentrated in 'taste.' This is my reasoning for the fic (Which is just that, a fic. It does not need to follow the laws of either canon)

Yes, Naruto would weigh several tons...hell, even more than that. However again, if you read CoG: NOT, you'd know that Naruto can store or siphon off excess weight/biomass into a sort of pocket dimension. Convoluted? Maybe. But step off, this is my story.

As for the canon thing...Look, I might be a good writer, but I'm not yet at a point where I can completely go off rails. For my own sanity, I have to stick to what I know. If you look closely enough, however, you'll see that I will be deviating from canon more and more as time goes on. Smaller things earlier on, then bigger things. Please don't imply that I'm 'wasting potential' with my writing, because no matter how you try to word it, it just sounds insulting to me.

Galen - Son of Galacta/Crio - Satsui no Hado/Whatever - the Fuck Your Name Is: Good bye and good riddance.

Guest 2: That is a nice idea, but I'm afraid I won't be able to do that.

Now, with that...lovely bit out of the way:

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Prototype, Rosario + Vampire, or any other fandom referenced by this fic. I do, however, own any Gormim that may or may not show up here.

Text/Alternate language
Inner being to outer being
Bijuu/Jinchuuriki/Yōkai form

Chapter 3: Clubs, For Both Swimming and Hitting

Life at Yōkai Academy was definitely becoming interesting, Naruto thought to himself. While Moka was always fun to tease, Kurumu's inclusion into their…group was pretty entertaining. The blond had to admit that the blue-nette's exuberance and enthusiastic affections were rather nice. It didn't make it less shocking when she would come out of nowhere and try to smother him with her tits, but he could live with that. Unfortunately, Naruto had a rather embarrassing habit of using a girl's breasts as a pillow from his previous life, which had apparently carried over to this one. Both girls had been rather shocked the first time Kurumu had glomped him, only for him to quickly fall asleep.

Naruto could only rub his face embarrassedly once he'd woken up. "Can't believe I did that," he muttered.

"Aw, don't worry Naruto-kun," Kurumu said sympathetically, "Normally I'd be mad if a guy fell asleep on me. I'm just glad you like their softness." She took his hand and placed it on one of the gigantic mounds, smiling sweetly. "If you ever need a nap, you can use my 'pillows' whenever you want.

Moka, at this point, was red enough to make her hair look paler.

Oh my god, just fuck her already! yelled Kina, frustrated, She's making me horny, never mind you!

You're always horny, Kina.

Not the point, Naruto. Seriously, tap that. Or, you know, just come in here and-

Time n' place, Kina-chan.

WHAT ABOUT IT? she yelled aggressively. Naruto rolled his eyes.

…Alright, so maybe Kurumu's attitude was a bit…much, but Naruto couldn't help but like her. The emotions he felt coming off of her always made him feel better; an ever-present lust, of course, but there was also honesty and happiness whenever she came near, and even (as shocking as it might seem to him) love and affection. Normally, Naruto might have scoffed at the idea of there being someone you were 'destined' to be with, but seeing how happy Kurumu was with him made him keep his mouth shut.

At the same time though, Moka's emotions, while also happy most of the time carried more undertones of bitterness and loneliness. Fortunately, those seemed to go away whenever they spoke, and they were nowhere near as strong as they had been when Naruto had first met her.

"Alright class!" said Nekonome-sensei, breaking Naruto out of his thoughts, "Part of functioning in a human school is to participate in clubs. So, starting today, you're all going to go out and join one. By the way, I'm in charge of the Newspaper Club, so be sure to check it out!"

There was some murmuring at this. Moka and Naruto glanced at each other, one in apprehension and the other in resignation.

To Naruto, this wasn't much of a surprise.

[The Previous Day]

"Excuse me, are you Uzumaki Naruto-san?"

Blinking, Naruto looked around and saw a man in a black suit walking towards him. "Yeah, that's me. What is it?"

"The Headmaster would like to see you," the man said without preamble.

The blond felt both Moka and Kurumu stiffen. He however merely shrugged, his face expressionless. "…Alright, then. Let's not keep him waiting."

[Slightly later]

The man led Naruto to a dark study, with candles burning in the corners and on the desk. Across the desk sat a figure in white robes, with a hood that obscured their face. He wore a cross around his neck and had his hands folded in front of him. "I take it you're the Headmaster," said Naruto dully.

The figured chuckled in a male voice. "Indeed. My name is Mikogami Tenmei. It's nice to finally meet you in person, Naruto-san. Storia-san has told me much about you. Have a seat."

"Heh. Figures," Naruto chuckled, sitting down across from the man, "I hope he didn't say too many bad things about me."

"He told me about how powerful you are," Mikogami admitted smiling under his hood, "As well as your...polyamorous disposition."

The blond's eye twitched. "I'll just ignore that little bit, thanks."

The cloaked man laughed. "Don't worry Naruto-kun, that's not what I wish to talk about. If you wish to court multiple dangerous Yōkai, that's your business."

"Oh, cheers."

"No, no, the situation is a bit more serious. Normally I'd leave it up to the PSC- the Public Safety Commission –but they currently have other business to attend to, and Storia-san told me it would be better if I left it to you. Besides, the PSC can be…unruly."

Ignoring the bit about the PSC for the moment, Naruto asked, "And the situation is…?"

Mikogami leaned forward. "Tomorrow, the students will be asked to join clubs. As a favor, I'd like for you to investigate the swimming club. They are known for being mostly female, and any males who try to join mysteriously vanish."

Naruto's eyebrow rose slightly. "Oi, oi, is this school so big that students going missing aren't noticed by the others? Alright, I'll admit I'm interested. I assume I shouldn't tell Moka-chan or Kurumu-chan about this?"

"Not until afterward, I think. In fact, it might be best if you kept at least Akashiya-san away; Vampires don't react to water very well."

"They do? Huh. You learn something new every day." Grunting, the blond stood up. "If that's all, Headmaster, I would like to take my leave. What should I do with the culprit once I find them?"

Shrugging, Mikogami said, "Well, even if they're killing those students, it would be better if we didn't have to deal with more deaths. Force is authorized, but nothing permanent or scarring, please."


[Present time]

"Although, some of these other clubs seem pretty sketchy too," he muttered, sweat-dropping, "Is it really just the swimming club that Mikogami-san's worried about?" For the past while, boys from various clubs had been hitting on Moka, trying to get her to join. Fortunately Moka was able to see just how creepy those people were and declined. The photo club wanted her to pose nude for them (not that he could blame them), the chemistry club wanted 'make love potions' (making Naruto face-palm) and so on.

"Hi, Naruto-kun!" called Kurumu, jogging over to them (the resultant jiggling sending nearby males flying with nosebleeds), "You guys find a club yet?"

"Ah, no," said Moka, looking a little dismayed as the light-blue-haired Succubus latched onto Naruto's arm and blatantly placed it between her breasts.

Naruto on the other hand hardly reacted, outwardly at least, and said, "Nah, not yet, Kuru-chan. Why, you found something you like?"

She sighed and shook her head. "No, nothing." She smiled slyly and looked up at him. "Say, since we're all together here, why don't we all look? Moka, you go look over there and we'll be-"

"Hell no," said the pink-haired girl flatly, "I see what you're doing, Kurumu-san. You just want Naruto to yourself!"

"Oh, Brilliant deduction, princess."

Sensing an imminent explosion of tempers, Naruto slipped out of Kurumu's embrace (albeit somewhat reluctantly) and said, "Actually, I think I see something interesting over there. Hang on, I'll be back in a minute." And he was off, vanishing into the crowd before his two companions could stop him.

As he wove through the mass of students, Naruto surreptitiously made a familiar crossed hand sign. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu," he whispered. With barely a flicker of smoke, an exact replica of himself sprang into being. "Alright, we need to split up," he told the clone quietly, "You make your way back to Moka-chan and Kurumu-chan and lead them away from here. I'm gonna go check out that girl." He indicated a turquoise-haired girl with a bikini top and a wrap around her waist.

"Lucky," muttered the bunshin. But still, he did as he was bid and departed among the throng.

Naruto himself continued on until he emerged out of the crowd and stood up. "Ugh, that was uncomfortable."

The girl who he'd been walking towards, however, spotted him quickly. Her eyebrows shot up and a devious smirk played at the corners of her mouth. "Oh? And who have we here? What's your name, handsome?"

That was easy, thought the blond. "Uzumaki Naruto," he replied.

"Ichinose Tamao," she introduced herself, "Captain of the swimming club. You look like a strong guy, so how about you join? So few guys ever come to our club for some reason, so the girls'll be all over you."

Kina chose this this moment to suddenly pipe up, though of course only Naruto could hear her. Yeah, been there, done them.

Surprised by the suddenness and dirtiness of the joke, Naruto let out a laugh, which he quickly disguised as him clearing his throat. "A-ah…really? If that's okay with you…"

"Of course it is!" she said cheerfully, throwing an arm over his shoulder and pulling him closer. As she did so, he noticed that she was actually quite close to his height, around as tall as Moka, and that her eyes were a startling yellow color, "I'm the captain, after all. Who else can say who can or can't join?"

Hm...something smells fishy.

Don't be rude, Kina.

I do, though! I can smell it through your nose!

I don't smell anything.

While Naruto was embroiled in his own internal argument, Tamao had taken ahold of his arm and was now steering down the hallway. "Come along, now. I'll let the girls get a good look at you."

"I don't have a bathing suit, though."

"Oh, well you don't need one, do you?"


She just laughed and patted his back. "I'm kidding, of course. Let's see what sizes we have at the pool."

"Aa…" For the umpteenth time in the past while, Naruto felt as if he were being swept up in a current. It was quite an odd feeling for someone as take-charge as him.


Finding a swimsuit was a bit of a challenge. Or at least, it was while Tamao was helping him. Finally, Naruto had managed to get her to leave so he could shape-shift a pair of his own. Who'd have thought it'd be so hard to find some the same size? he thought, dissolving the rest of his uniform while forming a black pair of shorts.

She did say you didn't really need one, Kina pointed out.

That was a joke and you know it, Naruto shot back, his eyebrow twitching, And there's no way all the girls would like that!

They would if they saw your dick.

As he walked out into the pool area, he had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. …Ugh, really? You had to go there?

Kina threw up her hands inside his head. Hey! Someone's gotta keep a perverted perspective here!

Try as he might, Naruto couldn't work up enough of a damn to refute that. In any case, he was spared the opportunity to do so as he entered the pool area.

The sun shone dazzlingly off of the blue water, blinding him for a second, before the sounds of laughter reached his ears. Blinking, he saw a whole gaggle of girls, sporting many different colors of hair and various…sizes, but all were quite beautiful in their own right. Although, considering Naruto's feelings towards the opposite sex, that might not have been saying too much. All of them were staring straight at him, gigglingand squealing gleefully as they took in his muscular body, tanned skin and blond hair (he'd had to leave his hat in the locker room). Naruto also noticed a few other boys in the water glaring resentfully at him, presumably for stealing the girls' attentions so quickly. Touma-san definitely had the gist of it, he thought, his eye twitching as he muttered, "Fukou da!"

(With the Kage Bunshin)

Maybe the boss isn't the only lucky one, thought Naruto's clone as he strolled through the halls, Moka and Kurumu on either side. While none of them had been able to find a satisfactory club thus far, the group wasn't feeling too worried about it. Kurumu was happy as long as she could stay attached to her Destined One like this, with his strong, muscular arm secured in her expansive bust. Moka felt likewise, though her train of thought was somewhat less perverted.

Now if only she weren't here too, each girl thought, glaring surreptitiously at the other.

The Bunshin sweat-dropped. Why do girls always have to fight each other? It's not like I'll run out of attention to give them. A sign over a room caught his attention. "Huh. Karate club? Hang on, I wanna check that out." He extricated himself from their grips and went inside.

The room was larger than a normal classroom, with tatami mats on the floor. Every person present wore a white gi, as well as a belt that varied in color. Some of them looked over as he entered, and a few whispered as Moka and Kurumu followed behind him. "Ossu!" A particularly large young man walked over. He wore a black belt and had blond hair. "The name's Miyamoto Haiji, and I'm captain of Youkai Academy's Karate Club. You guys looking to join?"

"Not sure," Naruto admitted, looking him up and down, "I'm always up for fighting and all, but spending all of my time practicing isn't one of my strong suits. I don't suppose you'd be willing to have a match anyway, would you? Name's Uzumaki Naruto, by the way. Yoroshiku." (Nice to meet you)

Everyone actually stopped what they were doing and started murmuring to themselves. A newcomer, challenging the captain? Who was this guy?

Haiji's eyes widened briefly, but then he grinned. "Oh? You want to challenge the strength of our Karate? Don't get too cocky, now. There's a reason I'm the captain, you know."

The only reply he got from the blond was a cocky grin.

A minute later the two stood apart from each other in the middle of the dojo, surrounded by all the other students and Kurumu and Moka. "You still have time to back out," Haiji offered.

"That'd defeat the point of asking you in the first place," Naruto pointed out, smirking. However, on the inside he was thinking furiously. Since I'm a clone that was made in a hurry, I can't afford to take any hits. But it wouldn't be right to pull out any jutsu. A Karate user, though…hm. Maybe I should use that? I'm sure the boss won't mind me showing off a little.

"Heh," chuckled the older blond, "I guess so. Still," he took a stance, "I'm not gonna hold back much, so don't complain afterward."

"Ah, I was gonna say that too. Well, better for the favorite to put it forward, I suppose." The bunshin planted a foot in front of him and leaned forward.

Over on the sidelines, Moka and Kurumu looked at each other, sweat-dropping. I didn't know he liked fighting so much. But what's with the banter? they both asked silently.

One of the club members came forward and stood between them. "Er…as the Vice-Captain of the club, I'll referee this match, just to make it official. Just please don't kill or cripple each other. And don't destroy the club room, please." That last one directed mostly at Haiji, who looked chagrinned.

Naruto, on the other hand, snapped his fingers disappointedly and said in a deadpan, "Darn, there go half my moves. Oh well."

"Yeah, yeah," grumbled Haiji, "It's not like I was gonna kill him anyway,"

"Well…if you're both ready…"

"Get on with it."


(With the original Naruto)

Why do I have the feeling that my clone is doing something reckless? thought Naruto as he swam.

Not to make a pun of the situation, but for the past while Naruto could say that his investigation was going 'swimmingly.' Meaning, he was busy schmoozing with the girls in the pool, which was fortunate because they seemed to enjoy his presence. The hungry looks in their eyes set off alarms inside his head, but he ignored them. For a boy who had grown up with virtually no affection shown to him, this was quite enjoyable to say the least.

Hey! What about my affection? Don't I always give those nice hugs and kisses?

Yes you do Kina, and I'm very happy to have you in my life. However, I am also a greedy bastard who can't ever have enough.

The Kyuubi had no real rebuttal to that and only murmured, Please don't talk about yourself like that.

Right. Sorry. He didn't take back his statement, but he felt guilty. Despite the prickly persona he often put up in front of his (self-proclaimed) Beloved Pet, he cared a lot about her feelings and didn't like making her sad. Granted, he felt much the same with other girls, but Kina was particularly sensitive towards him. In more ways than one, he thought amusedly, as one of the swimmers suddenly 'accidentally' brushed up against him, giving him a good feel of her breasts against his back.

Ooh, those were nice, sighed the fox-girl happily, Not very big, but so firm and round too!

See? Affection like this feels good…

Yeah. Feels like home... But weren't you here to investigate something?

Naruto blinked, feeling as if cold water had been thrown in his face. Which, considering where he was, wouldn't be much of a stretch. Ah, that's right! The headmaster asked me to figure out why the students were disappearing…

As he thought this, a pair of slender, though toned arms slid around his stomach and up to his chest. "Something on your mind, Golden Boy?" a sultry voice whispered in his ear. It took him a moment to recognize it as the turquoise-haired Captain of the swim club, Tamao.

"What's with the nickname?" he asked mock-grumpily, avoiding her question, "Don't make me out to be some sort of idol, Tamao-san."

"Waa, don't be so cold, Naruto-san!" Tamao chuckled playfully, "Besides, with hair and a body like that, anyone would think you were an idol. I don't think I've ever seen the others take to a boy so quickly. Still," she swam around to his front and nuzzled his chest, "You're mine for the time being, and they'll keep their hands off."

Snorting, Naruto rolled his eyes. "How generous of them."

Her smile flickered and a shadow came into her own yellow eyes. "Yes," she murmured, "How generous. Normally a delicious guy like you would get sucked dry, but since it's just you and me…well, you might lose a few years, but you'll live."

The blond stilled. "That's not a sex metaphor, is it?" he asked with grim humor.

"Heheh," chuckled Tamao, "'Fraid not, Golden Boy. Well, if you're a good boy and don't squirm, we might find a secluded spot and do it then…" her hand dipped briefly below his waistband.

(With the Clone)

Haiji breathed heavily as he regarded his opponent. For the past few minute, true to his word the Karate Club Captain had gone in fast and hard, striking at the Uzumaki with every intent to knock him out.

The problem, of course, was that Naruto refused to get hit. He dodged in and out of all the combos easily and didn't look nearly as tired as Haiji. He had even gotten a few of his own punches in, powerful, deceptively fast ones that spoke of much greater strength.

That footwork of his is much better than it first looked, he thought, watching the blond shift from foot to foot, At first glance it looks like Boxing, but something's off. Those punches don't have nearly the same kind of force behind them as Boxing. It's like he's deliberately leaving something out of his style.

The Bunshin gave a small smile at the Captain's serious, thoughtful look. Ah, I love when people get that expression. 'What's he doing? Where's he coming from? How's he moving like that?' Haah, I really wanna reveal what I'm doing…

A small gasp drew his attention to the sidelines. Moka was staring at him with admiration, understanding and shock. "Naruto…is that…?"

She's got it!

"Hey, don't look away from a fight!" barked Haiji, throwing a punch at the younger teen.

However, in his excitement, Naruto suddenly went on the offensive. His left hand deflected the punch off to the side and he spun. His right leg shot up, aiming at Haiji's head. Reflexively the older boy raised his hand to block, only for the kick to suddenly stop, the leg snapping back to fold tightly over the attacking arm and pull it down. A Locking technique?! Even as he tried to bring his other hand up, Naruto suddenly threw his weight upward in a leap, and with a spin, slammed his left knee into the side of Haiji's face with a solid *wham.*

The boy stumbled and fell, the weight of his opponent dragging him down, while Naruto sprang away quickly. He was grinning madly. "Heheheh, sorry," he said, still grinning, "But in all the excitement I ended up using something unexpected. Renewal Tae-Kwon Do: Hoe Grab."

"Tae-Kwon Do?" muttered one of the club members, "Since when does Tae-Kwon Do use grabs?"

Naruto ignored him and bent down to examine Haiji. "Oii, Haiji-san. You alright? I was sure I didn't kick you that hard…"

"Yeah, I'm fine," grunted the larger boy, sitting up. Grimacing, he spat out a mouthful of blood, then stared at it in surprise. Then he laughed, "Tae-Kwon Do, huh? Never heard of any Locking techniques in that style before. I guess that's why those punches felt off. You were holding off from using your feet and ending the battle by using that style."

"Hm, maybe," Naruto said cryptically, only to laugh at Haiji's expression, "Alright, fine. That particular style actually uses punches in its technique, as well as Locks and Throws. Can't really say I'm an expert in it, though."

Haiji snorted and slapped the blond on the back. "Could've fooled me!" he chortled, "You're an alright guy, Uzumaki!"

Despite himself, he flushed slightly and looked away. "Ah…no need to go that far," he said vaguely. All the same, his own opinion of the Karate Captain went up by a bit as well.


"ACK!" Naruto stumbled as Kurumu collided with his back, wrapping her arms around him.

"That was so cool!" she gushed, squeezing him so hard that the clone briefly worried that he might dispel, "I knew my Destined One was strong, but to be so skilled too! Haaah, my heart is pounding." With a moan, she pulled his head to her chest, once more smothering him with her enormous, heavy tits.

"Kuru...chan!" he tried to extricate himself from her deadly embrace, but against his will he found himself relaxing instead. His cry for help was muffled in the succubus's bosom and went unheard.

(At the pool)

Gently but firmly, Naruto pulled Tamao's hand away. "A tempting offer," he said sincerely, "But I like to at least get to know a girl before we get to that part."

Just as the turquoise-haired girl responded, Naruto suddenly jerked and gasped as the memories of his Kage Bunshin intruded on his mind. Of all the things to kill my clones, this one just had to die from suffocation, he thought disparagingly.

Giggling pervertedly, Kina pointed out, Hey, at least he died happy!

Can it.

Without warning, the air was suddenly rent with screams. Looking around in alarm, Naruto saw the girls grab the boys and latch onto their necks with razor sharp teeth. Within seconds they withered, hair whitening and muscles wasting away. Before his eyes, all of the boys were being drained of their youth.

"You shouldn't look," Tamao murmured from behind him, wrapping her arms around him. Though the embrace was gentler than Kurumu's, he could feel immense strength in her limbs. "We Mermaids need life energy to survive," she said, breathing in his ear, "Don't worry, though. I won't take enough to make you like them. Just a little bit..."

For a moment, Naruto didn't answer. So, all this was because of food, huh? he thought,'s not like I can talk, in that case. Sighing, he put a hand to her head and pushed it towards his neck. "If that's what you want," he said wearily, "Then dig in. My neck has been used for food a lot lately."

He couldn't see her expression, but he felt Tamao's arms stiffen in surprise, as well as a hitch in her breath. "Thank you," she whispered. The blond said nothing, but winced as sharp, triangular teeth punctured his shoulder. A second later, however, he was suddenly released with a gasp. "That's! That...what...huh? Oooh..."

Naruto quirked an eyebrow and looked around. The yellow-eyed girl had her head thrown back, a look of pure rapture on her face. A wide, uncharacteristic smile crossed her face as she slowly looked back at him. He shuddered at Tamao's expression, which reminded him of something he'd seen before. "Ah, Tamao-san?"

"Mm?" she asked, her eyes glazed over.

"Are you alright?"

"Ooh yesss. I feel fine. That's some good life energy you've got there, Naruto-kun. Only a second, but I feel absolutely full. You're a keeper for sure!" she giggled, her smile becoming a more hungry grin.

"Why would-" and then he remembered. Several times in his previous life, he had given Hinata an infusion of Biomass for various reasons. However, due to a strange reaction, an excess amount caused her to become somewhat loopy and disoriented. Well, that takes care of one of them, he thought, sweat-dropping, But now I need to take care of the others. He glanced at the other Mermaids, who were staring hungrily at them. Dimly, he noticed that at some point, their legs had turned into brightly colored fish tails. Better get Tamao-san out of the way before I take care of business. Fortunately for Naruto, dealing with several occasions of a Biomass-high Hinata had left him skilled at dealing with her. "Hey, Tamao-chan!" he said, making his voice as cheerful as hers.

"Haai?" she asked childishly.

"You mind getting out of the water for a minute? I need to do some things," he said lightly.

Tamao seemed to consider it for a moment, then gave an exaggerated nod and swam away. As she left Naruto noticed how, even when high on Biomass, the girl had little to no trouble moving through the water like...well, like a fish.

"Now then..." he muttered, turning to face the group of Mermaids, "What should I do about you lot?"

A girl at the front laughed harshly. "Just sit there and relax, Golden Boy. Don't even think of fighting us; Mermaids are invincible in the water!"

Raising an eyebrow, Naruto surreptitiously made hand signs under the water. "That so? Well, claiming something like that is all well and good, but I wonder about that...Raiton: Jibashi." (Lightning Release: Electromagnetic Murder)

The entire pool area erupted with blinding light, punctuated by screams of pain as Lightning Chakra blasted out from the blond. Even as the Mermaids thrashed and screamed helplessly, Naruto channeled his chakra into three specific spots and flared. With a flash, he was suddenly standing outside the pool next to Tamao. "Hoo," he whistled, "Yōkai really are tough, aren't they? That shock would have knocked out a human for sure." Indeed, the other members of the Swim Club were none the worse for their electrification, though some of them suddenly possessed amusingly frizzy hair.

With a screech, they shot across the water towards Naruto, who only dipped his hand into the pool. "Hyōton: Kotai no Umi," (Ice Release: Solid Sea) he intoned firmly. Instantly a circle of ice spread out from his fingertips, covering the entire surface of the pool in seconds as all the heat was sucked out of the water. Before the Mermaids could do more than cry out in astonishment, they found themselves trapped in a huge, solid block of ice. Grimacing, Naruto wrenched his hand out of the ice, shaking it to get the blood flowing again. "Don't worry," he told the whimpering monster girls, "I'll have someone thaw you out eventually, but for now, just stick around and think about what you've done."

"Yeah!" added Tamao suddenly, "What were thinking, attacking my mate like that?"

"Yeah," Naruto agreed, nodding. Then he paused. "Wait, your what?"

Inside his head Kina started giggling. Hehe, looks like you got another one!

Great, he deadpanned. Then he sighed. "Well, my job here is done. Time to go report to the Headmaster." Naruto turned to leave, only to yelp and stumble as a clammy hand grabbed his ankle.

It was Tamao, who was grinning, "Take me with you, dear!" she said cheerily. When Naruto turned to glower at her, annoyed, she only smiled wider and indicated her bright orange fish tail, managing to convey nonverbally that she wouldn't be walking anywhere.

The blond growled irritably, but decided that he might as well bring the apparent leader of the Mermaids with him, if only to verify his story. He bent down and hoisted Tamao up in his arms, bridal style, causing her to giggle and throw her arms around his neck. You know, if she weren't baked on Biomass, I don't think I'd mind this so much, he thought, but as things are, this is just annoying. Just as he was about to leave the pool area, Naruto stopped again, glancing back at the distressed, frozen Mermaids. "By the way!" he called back to them, "I don't need water to be invincible!"

Having left that parting shot, he walked out, leaving the group to swear angrily at his existence.

Once he'd entered the locker room, Naruto noticed that Tamao's legs had changed back. He also noticed that, perhaps as a result of her earlier transformation, her bikini bottom was conspicuous in its absence.


"Something wrong, Golden Boy?"

His eyebrow twitched. "First, stop calling me that. Second, you seem to be missing something, Tamao-chan."

"Mm?" she hummed, reaching absently for the string of her top, "Personally, I think I have too much. If you know what I-"



"Shut up and put some pants on."

[Later, Headmaster's Office]

Mikogami laced his fingers together as Naruto finished giving his report on the events of that day. "So," he murmured, "The girls were all Mermaids. Hm…yes, I can see why that caused so much trouble. Mermaids need to feed on the energy of living things, after all, and the only living things here are the students. Ah, it seems I made a miscalculation," he sighed, "I suppose we'll need to build a place for Yōkai with 'special diets,' in order to avoid a repeat of this incident."

"Don't need it," piped up Tamao, laying her head on Naruto's shoulder, "Golden Boy's energy is tasty enough to feed me for days! I don't want any fish, thanks."

The blond grimaced, though whether it was at her attitude or the nickname, Tenmei was unsure.

"As for you, Ichinose-san," he continued, eyes narrowing beneath his shadowy hood, "While you were not witnessed killing another student, the fact that you, as Captain of the Swim Club did not curtail your club members' feeding habits, makes you just as culpable in this incident." The turquoise-haired girl had the decency at least to look ashamed. "As such, the Swim Club will be closed for the time being and you will be removed as the Captain. In the meantime, Uzumaki Naruto will be keeping an eye on you to make sure you do not attack anyone."

"Huh?!" Naruto gaped at him, disbelieving, "Bu-wait, why me? Why not those PSC guys?"

Tamao flinched. "Naruto-kun!" she said, sounding scandalized, "How could you suggest giving a beauty like me to those monsters?"

Frowning, Mikogami elaborated, "While the PSC is in charge of dealing with punishments, they have been…excessively forceful for the past few years."

"They lock 'troublemakers' in their prison and keep them there as long as they want," Tamao supplied, shuddering.

While Naruto was inclined to take her words with a grain of salt, the grim look on the Headmaster's face validated the statement. "Okay, so you trust me—a new student—over your normal enforcers. I'm flattered, but are you sure that's a good idea? I still have classes and work to do, as well as whatever club I end up joining."

"Ah," chuckled the white-robed man, "But you also have those Kage Bunshin, don't you? I'm sure that for a man of your power, being in two places at once will be no trouble at all."

Naruto's eyebrow twitched at the subtle finality in the Headmaster's tone. After a minute or so, he sighed and said, "Understood. By the way, make sure to send someone to get the other girls out of the pool."

Mikogami frowned. "Did you have to freeze them? They might get frostbite."

"It was a quick solution," said Naruto, shrugging, "They won't be permanently injured by it anyway. I'm sure that for a man of your power, being able to heal something like frostbite should be no trouble at all."

Mikogami's head hit the desk with a *thunk.* Then he laughed. "Storia-san told me you were quick-witted sharp-tongued. I see he was right."

The blond snorted. "Coming from Storia, I don't know whether to call that praise or hypocrisy." He stood up. "C'mon, Tamao-chan. Tamao-chan? What's…oi." He deadpanned as he noticed that the high Mermaid had fallen asleep at some point, slumping in her chair. "God damn it."

Naruto spent five minutes trying to wake the girl, all of which were wasted. Finally, he created a Kage Bunshin and had it haul her back to the dorms, after getting her room number from a very amused Mikogami.

"My thanks for resolving this matter, Naruto-san," said the Headmaster, bowing his covered head slightly.

Naruto tugged at the brim of the bus driver's cap and shrugged, saying it was nothing. "By the way, about clubs…"

"Ah, you still need to join one, do you not?"


Mikogami examined the papers before him. "Try the Newspaper Club. The teacher in charge is Nekonome-sensei, your homeroom teacher. They always have vacancies at the beginning of the year." There was something odd about the light tone he used, but Naruto chose not to comment on it.

"…Alright then, I'll try that. I'll have to track down Moka-chan and Kuru-" Naruto broke off suddenly, the blood draining from his face. "Oh sweet Sage," he whispered, "My Kage Bunshin got dispelled. Moka and Kurumu know that I've been gone for almost the whole day!"

They're gonna kill you for ditching them, Kina pointed out helpfully.

With a flash of yellow, Naruto vanished.

Left in the silence of his own office, Mikogami threw his head back and roared with laughter.

AN: I was going to put in a scene featuring the fallout of Moka and Kurumu's wrath, but I'm not confident in my ability to write stuff like that, so whatever. I'd like to apologize for having this take so long, but I actually spent a lot of time rewriting a majority of this chapter multiple times. Hopefully the next one will be out faster.

Summary time:

1. Just to be clear, it's not that Naruto + breasts = sleep. It's more that because of his nature, he can't help but relax when hugged. As such, if someone (typically) were to suddenly embrace him, he wouldn't be able to fight anywhere near as effectively. Plus it makes it easier for him to fall asleep in that position.
2. If one were to compare Kina to other characters, I would say she's like a mix of Kurumu, Kon (Tokyo Ravens) and Shiroyasha (Mondaiji-tachi), though there's more to her personality than that. Between herself and Naruto, she's more outwardly perverted.
3. Have I mentioned that I love Kurumu? Because I do. I feel like she never gets cut a break in canon, even now that the story is over.
4. I'll admit that the whole bit with Naruto going to meet Mikogami seems a tad fast, but really, I couldn't really think of a way to flesh it out.
5. Yeah, so Mikogami knows that Naruto is from…out of town. Storia got in touch with him and let him know what's up.
6. He also knows that the PSC is not on the up n' up, but his hands are tied because of reasons.
7. Naruto ditches Moka and Kurumu, making a Kage Bunshin to stay with them and keep them none the wiser. This is to avoid all the trouble from canon, wherein Moka got mad because she can't swim.
8. And of course it's so that Naruto can hang out with Tamao uninterrupted.
9. Meanwhile, Naruto's Kage Bunshin runs into Haiji and they fight. The move Naruto uses at the end is from The God of Highschool.
10. When Naruto says he's not a master of RTKD, he means that he himself doesn't know how to use it. He consumed/stole from someone who did.
11. And of course, the Kage Bunshin gets popped by Kurumu squeezing it too hard. Lucky bastard.
12. The incoming memories from the clone distract Naruto long enough for Tamao to take a chomp out of him. I'd like to point out that even without her becoming 'high,' she had no intention of killing him.
13. Those who've read CoG: NOT might remember a scene where Naruto gave Hinata a little too much Biomass, causing her to act childish and loopy. Some of you may point out that Biomass doesn't work like that. I will say, of course, that I know that, but you can shut the fuck up because it's my fic.
14. By the way, if Tamao becomes a Blacklight, it won't be because of this chapter.
15. With the leader…incapacitated, Naruto is free to take out the other Mermaids. Which he does, very quickly.
16. Just had to have Naruto get in the last word.
17. So Tamao is on probation and Naruto is the one assigned to her. What's that, you think there's another reason for that? No shit, Sherlock.
18. In the meantime, Naruto has remembered that he's in deep shit with Moka and Kurumu. Exit Stage…Left? I don't think the Hiraishin works in directions like that…

Anyway, that's all for now. The harem list is: Moka, Kina, Kurumu, Mizore, Yukari, Ruby, Kahlua, Tamao and certain others who shall remain nameless.

I'm not too sure which fic I'll update next, but I'll probably try and focus on CoG: NOT.

Speaking of other fics, I'd like it very much if you would check out my latest one, CoG: Obsidian Fox. It's a NarutoXAccel World crossover, and I'd be very happy if you would take a look and leave a review for it.

As always, if you have any questions, be sure to send me a PM or leave a Review. If you would like me to answer those questions, please permit me a way to quickly respond.

See you round. North South out.